Lu Yunxiao was so sad for the first time that his eyes turned red and he looked extremely pitiful.
This was the first time Lu Yunxiao showed such an expression in front of Bai You. Bai You saw it, only heartache, how could he bear to blame him, just about to speak, but was interrupted by him again.
"Are you afraid that I will know that you are using me? And then hurt you, so you use this method to make me let go, right? I have to say, you win. It's very uncomfortable to see you like this. I miss the Bai You in the past, who said whatever he wanted to say and did whatever he wanted. He had a carefree personality. I hate this Chu Lanxi now, who is as gentle as a paper man and as stiff as a piece of wood. If you want to be Bai You again, then do it. Chu Lanxi has me in her life, so you can abandon me if you want. It's up to you, as long as you are happy, but don't be like this anymore. Don't be like a living dead anymore. You don't know how much it hurts me and how uncomfortable it makes me feel when I see you."
Bai You's struggle stopped because of his words.
Lu Yunxiao looked at Bai You, who calmed down instantly, and smiled bitterly.
Sure enough, he guessed right. She was really using him. It turned out that their relationship was just his wishful thinking. But that was normal. This marriage was just a transaction from the beginning. She was doing it exactly as the transaction was. It was not her fault, but his.
In order to make him let go first, she learned to be a puppet. What a great sacrifice it was. If he lets go without knowing the current situation, it would be too tactless.
Does it hurt? Of course it does. After three years of marriage, he's become accustomed to having her by his side. He can't imagine life without her. What will happen to him? But it doesn't matter. He'll eventually get used to being alone. Wasn't he already alone before?
But she was different. Her temperament was so wild. To have her live a numb life like a puppet, with someone she didn't like, with a partner she only used, would be more painful than killing her. Like a wild rabbit, it was born to belong to nature. Keeping it in captivity would only yield a dried corpse. He couldn't bear to see her become like that. Living without self. Every day was like completing a task, fulfilling the duties of a wife. That wasn't a home for him, it was hell.
Lu Yunxiao didn't know how much effort he had put in to suppress the sourness that kept rising up in his heart.
His heart ached, but his mind told him it was time to let go. She had been putting up with him for three years. Wasn't it all for this moment? She wanted freedom so badly, so he would give it back to her. Perhaps Bai You was her true life, and Chu Lanlan was just a gift from God, a gift for him to know her.
Now that the time has come, God has taken back this gift, making these three years seem like a dream to him. Now that the dream is over, it is time for him to wake up.
Lu Yunxiao looked at Bai You and said with a wry smile: "Whether you believe it or not. These three years of marriage may be a transaction for you, but for me, it is happiness. The happiness I have been looking for for many years. I don't know if it was you who was acting in those three years, or you who is acting now? But no matter what, acting is a very tiring thing. I don't want you to act, I want you to be yourself. Maybe for you, returning to medicine is your real life. And I am just a passer-by in your life. In this case, then I will do as you wish, you can go."
No one knows how much pain he felt when he said the words "go away". It was like someone had stabbed him in the heart with a knife. It turns out that pulling out feelings from one's body is such a painful thing. This feeling is unforgettable after experiencing it once. I hope he will never experience it again in his life, otherwise he may not be able to bear it. It hurts too much, and he is almost unable to bear it.
These words almost exhausted all his strength, so much so that after he finished speaking, he seemed to be exhausted and almost fell down.
Lu Yunxiao had tasted betrayal when he was young. Back then, he felt nothing because he knew then that the human heart was the most difficult to fathom. But only now did he realize that he wasn't as strong as he'd imagined, nor as powerful as others claimed. It turns out he'd been deceived, betrayed. It was truly painful and trembling. Letting go of the person in his arms was too difficult for him. But he had to force himself to do it. He couldn't bear to see her suffer. Her life was already so bitter. He couldn't make it worse.
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