Chapter 89 The Last Day: Bai Jiangxin's Psychological Perspective
Bai Jiangxin hates gossiping.
I've hated it since I was a child.
The nanny, who was efficient and caring at home, often harbored resentment. Why did her son have to grow up in a construction shed, while the employer's son could grow up in a detached villa?
One day, the aunt had a big fight with her husband over her son's disappointing grades. She had devoted half her life to the father and son, but all she got in return was their complaints. Her husband blamed her for being too embarrassed to ask her employer for a raise, and her son blamed her for being just a nanny, making him lose face in front of his classmates.
That day, the aunt, exhausted and anxious, reached a breaking point in her resentment towards the world. She couldn't stand everything about her employer's glamorous and upper-class life, including the employer's son.
[A day's worth of nutritious meals costs more than my son's tuition and fees for a whole semester. And you still won't eat! Seeing spoiled brats like you annoys me. If you were my son, and you dared not eat, I'd beat you to death!]
...
[Why don't I just steal something and sell it? They're so rich, they probably won't even notice.]
This was the first time Bai Jiangxin truly realized the duality of human nature. He felt disgusted with the aunt and was determined to get his parents to fire her.
If you fire someone who performs well at work for no reason, your parents will only think that he is difficult to please. He must first find evidence of the aunt's misconduct.
That night, he followed his aunt and saw her go to his parents' room.
In the morning, her father left in a hurry and forgot to wear his watch. One of his watches was casually placed on the bedside table. Her father loved collecting all kinds of famous watches. If this one was missing, he might not have noticed it for a long time. Bai Jiangxin stood outside the door and saw the aunt staring at the watch for a while, and then saw her standing in front of her mother's jewelry cabinet for a long time.
But in the end, the aunt didn't take anything. She stood there, suddenly broke down in tears, and muttered to herself why she was so unlucky.
Nothing was missing from the house, and the nanny continued to patiently feed him every day until the day she resigned for personal reasons. Before leaving, she told him to eat well so he could grow tall.
Later, Bai Jiangxin went to school. On the surface, she was a gentle and kind homeroom teacher, but in reality, she was already overwhelmed by work and family. She felt that she had committed murder and arson in her past life, which was why she was unlucky enough to become a teacher in this life. She even thought that she might as well bring a knife to school tomorrow and kill all the disobedient students and annoying colleagues.
Until one day, a strange man sneaked into the school due to the security guard's negligence. The unarmed teacher decisively locked the students in the classroom, while the teacher stood alone outside the classroom, blocking the door and bravely confronting the man.
As for the colleague the teacher disliked the most, he called the police immediately after discovering the situation. When the police arrived, the colleague hugged the trembling teacher and comforted her like a child.
This is probably the true nature of humanity. Life is often filled with hardships and disappointments, which can breed malice in one's heart. No one can guarantee that they can always keep their heart turned towards the light. That's why people are afraid of being read, afraid of having their most unbearable corners of their hearts exposed.
No matter how kind a person may seem on the surface, there will always be a moment when they are despicable and negative. A kind-hearted person will suppress the spread of this malice. Therefore, the aunt did not steal anything and continued to work diligently every day. The teacher also protected the students who were bothering her without hesitation.
They weren't bad people, and they didn't hurt anyone. It was he, the one who eavesdropped on them with a condescending attitude, who unintentionally hurt them.
The only way for Bai Jiangxin to atone for his sins is to pretend he knew nothing.
The only way he could earn respect from those around him was to distance himself from them.
His parents' marriage had come to an end. He understood his father's helplessness and his mother's desire for freedom and career. They always loved themselves more than him.
No one dictates that parents must put their children first in life, or that they must sacrifice everything for their children. At least they have given them life and brought them into this world, and that is enough.
Although this world seems to hold no value for him, making his life seem worthwhile.
Seeing through the true nature of humanity too early robbed him of all the beautiful hopes he should have had for the world during his childhood. The more he understood how unpredictable people's true feelings were, the more he felt that the world was meaningless.
He bid farewell to his precocious childhood in solitude and entered adolescence. His aloofness drove away many people. The admiring glances from the opposite sex were always tinged with hesitation. They admired him, but were afraid that if they really got close to him, they would be hurt by his indifference.
Bai Jiangxin did not have any long-term hope for this kind of relationship. His parents treated him the same way. It is said that the greatest emotion in mankind is a mother's love, but even his mother, who had gone through the hardship of giving birth to him, chose to leave him. How much more so would this kind of ethereal love?
Knowing that there would be a day of separation, he always retained some sincerity towards Ye Minjia, even though it was unfair to Ye Minjia, he had to leave himself a way out.
Until that cup of milk tea, that bold statement, directly crossed the mental defenses and boundaries he had set up for everyone.
If one had to trace the source of his attraction, even Bai Jiangxin himself was puzzled. He inexplicably developed a deep connection with someone, and this person happened to like him. At first, all she brought him was trouble and annoyance.
He didn't think this infatuation mixed with desire was anything to be moved by. Rather than saying that Xiang Di liked him, it would be more accurate to say that she only saw him as a goal to catch up with, a motivation to go to school, or even a tool for her desires.
To wantonly idealize him and imagine him as her ideal in order to satisfy her own desires—what kind of love is that? She's only pleasing herself.
Therefore, Bai Jiangxin has no intention of giving her any response. Even if she musters up the courage to confess to him, he will only reject her without hesitation.
However, things did not go as he had expected. Her affections were both bold and cautious, so bold that her explicit thoughts caused him a lot of trouble, yet so cautious that once he could no longer hear her thoughts, he could hardly detect them anymore.
Such a contradictory person makes him contradictory as well. Even though he tells himself countless times that he doesn't like her, once he really senses her retreat, he becomes anxious, resents her for bothering him, and complains about her timidity.
She turned him into a hypocrite.
His unrestrained intrusion, tinged with a cautious yet sincere affection, made him wonder if even her every breath was a form of teasing. In the end, this one-man show of unrequited love could end as soon as she had her fill, while he was already deeply involved and had nowhere to retreat.
Even after they got together, and she completely opened up to him, saying "I love you" to him countless times, he still felt uneasy and needed a more solid guarantee.
She could be content with her feelings for him even without his reciprocation, but for him, everything would become meaningless without her response.
She was the one who opened his heart to the kindness and love of the world, and she had to take full responsibility for it.
The year he graduated, Bai Jiangxin used all his savings to buy a car and a diamond ring to propose to her. Finally, he heard her cry and say "I do" to him.
Both sets of parents had no objections to the marriage. However, when discussing the wedding, because they didn't know about Bai Jiangxin's mother's situation, they asked their parents if Bai Jiangxin's mother would attend the wedding.
The father and son remained silent. For the Xiang family, which had a harmonious relationship, it was rather cold-hearted for the mother not to attend her son's wedding.
In order not to upset the Xiang family, Bai Guang eventually made an overseas call to Jiang Ruya, asking her to cooperate in putting on a show so that the Xiang family could feel at ease.
They were prepared to be rejected, but Jiang Ruya readily agreed, making an excuse that she was too busy with work to return to China for the wedding and asking for the other party's parents' forgiveness.
Afterwards, Bai Jiangxin thanked his mother privately.
Hearing her son's thank you, Jiang Ruya rarely opened up about her true feelings.
“You might not believe it, but when I wanted to take you abroad, it was partly for my research, and partly... I really wanted to help you return to a normal life.”
When she got divorced, she actually planned to take her son to live abroad, but in the end, considerations for her own future prevailed over her maternal love.
She had to deliberately use those harsh words to drive him away, to make him give up the idea of living with her, and to leave him with his father.
His father was a cold-hearted man who rarely cared about his wife, let alone his son. If he had spent more time with his son back then, he wouldn't have only found out about Xin'er's hereditary disease so many years later.
Children's secrets are hard to hide. Even though Xin'er is much more mature than his peers, he was still just a child back then. If you pay more attention to him, it's impossible that you won't find out.
So it's not surprising that, although Xin'er has now let go of her grievances with her parents, she no longer wants to have any closeness with them.
The father and son will never be like Xiang Di's family in their lives. Bai Guang certainly knows this. Even if the father-son relationship is repaired, there will still be a rift between them. Fortunately, Xin'er is getting married. His parents-in-law are very warm people and will become his new parents.
"Happy wedding," Jiang Ruya said. "She's a good girl, and you'll be very happy with her."
Now that her son is starting his own family, she has nothing to say except to offer her blessings.
Back then, with the intention of sowing discord, she told the child the truth about mind reading, but the child refuted her words, which made her feel ashamed.
She had hoped that there would be no one behind Xin'er, so that he would have no choice but to go with her. However, when she learned that the child and his best friend still firmly chose him even after knowing the truth, she was disappointed that her plan had failed. As a mother, Jiang Ruya was actually a little happy for Xin'er.
Hearing his mother's blessing, Bai Jiangxin lowered his eyes and said calmly, "Thank you, and I wish you all the best."
After hanging up the phone, he went to find Xiang Di, who was brushing her teeth with foam in her mouth. She asked him, "Did you finish talking to your mother? What did she say?"
He didn't answer, but walked closer, reached out, bent down, and silently hugged her.
He thought he would have to spend his whole life healing from his lonely childhood, but thankfully she was willing to marry him.
I'm willing to be his home.
-
Xiang Di's parents are both public officials, so the wedding should not be too grand. Xiang Di herself also doesn't like overly complicated weddings. The wedding venue was arranged at a private estate under the Bai family's name, and everything at the wedding was arranged according to her preferences.
Many people dream of their groom being a prince on a white horse, but Xiang Di is different. For her once-in-a-lifetime wedding, she also wants to be dashing. She wants to be a princess on a white horse, riding a horse to her groom.
So, in the lush private estate, to the accompaniment of a lyrical wedding tune, the bride, dressed in a satin long-train wedding gown and draped in a white veil, slowly made her way onto a white horse. Beside her was Xiang Sheng, who led the horse. To give her enough prestige, several knights were arranged to carry the train of her wedding gown and accompany her on her entrance.
Several handsome knights escorted the beautiful white horse bride onto the stage, drawing gasps of admiration from the guests. Xiang Sheng secretly asked the bride, "Eye-catching bag, satisfied?"
A smug smile played on the corners of her lips, hidden beneath her veil. The bride said, "Hehe, satisfied."
Ye Minjia whispered to another groomsman, Wang Sichen, "Seriously, shouldn't we groomsmen be standing next to the groom waiting for the bride to appear? Why are we the ones holding up the dress? Is that right?"
On the contrary, the two bridesmaids, Liang Qianqian and Xiang Di's aunt, were wearing elegant bridesmaid dresses and standing next to the groom, waiting for the bride to come over.
Xiang Di's aunt, Luo Yayi, was Xiang Di's bridesmaid, which was something no one expected.
No one expected that such a beautiful woman as her aunt would still be single. According to Xiang Di, her aunt had dated men over the years, but they were all fleeting relationships and never reached the point of meeting the parents.
A few days before the wedding, the bride and groom had dinner with the best man and maid of honor. Several of them wanted to hear about the aunt's casual affairs. The aunt was quite reserved at first, but after having a few more drinks, she started to speak without restraint.
She has dated several boyfriends over the years, but the one who left the deepest impression on her was not any of them, but a one-night stand she met during a trip to the United States.
“I used to hate my younger brother the most, but after that day, I realized that young men are really different…”
Luo Yayi hiccuped, cupping her face as if savoring the memory: "It was absolutely intoxicating. After sleeping with it, I feel like I'm ten years younger."
Everyone asked her who she was, and Luo Yayi said she had long forgotten, only remembering that the other person was super strong, otherwise why would she be called her 419 partner.
Later, when the party was over, Luo Yayi told her niece's husband to treat her niece well, and asked him, "You only have two groomsmen? I remember you also had a... mixed-race classmate?"
"Are you talking about Zhou Linxiao?" Bai Jiangxin said. "He flew back to China the day before the wedding and didn't have time to attend the rehearsal, so we didn't arrange for him to be the best man."
In addition, since the bride only arranged two bridesmaids, he only needed two groomsmen.
Ye Minjia and Wang Sichen initially thought they were groomsmen, but on the day of the rehearsal they found out that they were there to do the hard labor for the bride.
The bride's long train was incredibly heavy, covered in hand-embroidered and beaded designs. It was custom-made by Bai Jiangxin from a French workshop at great expense, and was intended to be kept as a precious memento after the wedding. Therefore, Xiang Di was determined not to let it get dirty. To prevent the train from falling off the horse's back, Ye Minjia and Wang Sichen had to do the hard labor, which was no less than lifting two large dumbbells.
"If I had known that I would have to do strength training with the bride, I would have made Zhou Linxiao the best man." Ye Minjia rolled her eyes speechlessly. "He, on the other hand, just had to sit in the guest section and clap his hands, and didn't have to do anything."
Looking towards the guest seating area, Zhou Linxiao was sitting at the table with his high school classmates, chatting with their homeroom teacher, Chen Jinghua.
Ye Minjia gritted her teeth in jealousy. Wasn't it said that mixed-race people have a short blooming period? How come this brat is getting more and more handsome? I hope he doesn't bewitch Liang Qianqian's soul again.
Regardless, the bride, escorted by several knights, arrived at the wedding venue in a very dashing manner. She stopped her horse at Xiang Sheng, and the rest of the journey was left for the groom to come and fetch her.
Traditionally, the bride's father is supposed to lead her out of the room, but Mr. Xiang has gained some weight in recent years, so he suggested that the bride's brother take over in order to make the photos look better.
Xiang's parents had no objections, but Xiang Sheng was initially reluctant and refused no matter what. Xiang Di even had another argument with him about it, saying that if he was unwilling, he would sever the sibling relationship. Xiang Sheng said he would sever the relationship, and so he did.
On the eve of the wedding rehearsal, the brother and sister had a cold war for several days. In the end, Bai Jiangxin stepped in and brought two bottles of good wine to persuade his brother-in-law.
On the surface, Xiang Sheng said he didn't want to lead his sister's horse because it was too much trouble. After drinking a few cups of wine, he still kept his mouth shut, but his true feelings had already been revealed.
"You guys are so cruel! You know how much I miss my sister, yet you still want me to personally send her off to another man's wedding. Get out of here! I won't do it!"
Having overheard his brother-in-law's inner thoughts, Bai Jiangxin gave a wry smile.
Even though Xiang Sheng was unwilling, he still obediently attended the wedding rehearsal on the day of the wedding.
Bai Jiangxin, dressed in a groom's suit, walked over. Although Xiang Sheng deliberately kept a straight face, her eyes were already slightly red.
Xiang Sheng sniffed almost imperceptibly, his tone hard: "Hurry up and take your bride away."
Bai Jiangxin handed the bouquet to Xiang Sheng for the time being, then stretched out his arms to Di: "Come down."
To prevent the wedding dress from getting dirty, Xiang Di was arranged not to walk at all. The satin wedding dress was covered in her clothes as Bai Jiangxin carried her through the eyes of the guests to the vow venue.
They are both easygoing and don't like to make a fuss. Although the wedding venue was decorated very romantically, the process was very simple. After the vows were exchanged, amidst the applause of the crowd, the groom accompanied the bride to leave temporarily to change into a more comfortable suit so that they could better entertain the guests later.
When it came time to entertain the guests, Bai Jiangxin wanted to help Xiang Di avoid drinking, but she was so happy that she insisted on drinking, so he had no choice but to comply.
She wasn't a big drinker to begin with, and by the time she finished toasting the teachers and classmates at the table, her face was already showing obvious signs of drunkenness. But her former high school classmates were clearly not going to let her off the hook, demanding that she honestly confess what methods she had used back then to win over their top student and school heartthrob.
Xiang Di patted his chest and said, "Of course, it's because I'm yellow enough!"
She spoke unclearly, and none of her classmates could understand her.
What does "dog yellow" mean?
Only Bai Jiangxin understood. The little lecher was drunk and talking nonsense. He would realize his mistake when he sobered up. He quickly pulled Xiang Di behind him and said that she was drunk and talking nonsense.
"If the bride is drunk, then the groom should answer. Tell me, how exactly did Xiang Di manage to get you?"
"Why does it have to be her who got me?" Bai Jiangxin said calmly. "Maybe it's me who got her."
"Holy crap?!"
"Well, Bai Jiangxin, I didn't know you were such a closet pervert. Tell me, how did you manage to get Xiang Di?"
The commotion at this table was so great that even guests from other tables came over to join in the fun.
Xiang Sheng was also drunk at the moment. He had just slumped over the table and burst into tears, which made the other relatives laugh so hard. They exclaimed that the brother and sister had such a good relationship, with the brother crying like this for his sister's wedding.
Xiang's parents felt ashamed and told him to go wash his face and clear his head. Just then, they stumbled upon Bai Jiangxin being attacked by a crowd.
Upon hearing that Bai Jiangxin had gotten Xiang Di's attention, Xiang Sheng immediately stepped forward and questioned, "Baijiaxing, didn't my sister tell me that she was the one who had feelings for you first? Tell me, what tricks did you use to make her so infatuated with you? You even lied to your own brother."
The brother-in-law was about to fight with his sister's husband, and the scene immediately turned chaotic. Bai Jiangxin wanted some of the best men and bridesmaids to help, but they just stood by and watched the show.
Ye Minjia, in particular, looked at him with a smug, upturned phoenix eye.
Bai Jiangxin scoffed coldly. What brother, what buddy? He had kept his secret for so many years.
Now that things have come to this, there's nothing more he can do to save face for him.
Bai Jiangxin raised an eyebrow and suddenly called out to him, "Ye Minjia."
"You've had a crush on Liang Qianqian for so many years, when are you planning to confess your feelings?"
Ye Minjia suddenly opened her eyes wide, and Liang Qianqian opened her eyes wide as well.
This was absolutely shocking gossip, and the students at the table became even more excited.
"Holy crap?!"
"Class monitor, you have a crush on Qianqian?!"
"Squad leader, you've been hiding your true abilities!"
Ye Minjia blushed furiously, not daring to answer his classmate's question or even look at Liang Qianqian. He pointed at Bai Jiangxin, stammering, "You brat, how did you know..."
Before he could finish his question, he realized what was going on.
"Bai Jiangxin! You've invaded my privacy! I'm going to sue you! I'm going to appeal to the central government!"
The scene immediately became even more chaotic than before. Ye Minjia's angry rebuke was quickly drowned out by the classmates' attack. Bai Jiangxin ignored it and carried the drunk Xiang Di away from the wedding venue.
-
Bai Jiangxin held Xiang Di in his arms, and the two sat on a bench in the back of the manor. Xiang Di had just opened her eyes and made a soft "hmm" when a glass of warm water was brought to her lips.
Xiang Di took a sip of water, smacked her lips, and was about to say that she felt dizzy when he made her lie on his lap and massaged her temples.
"...Are you lying to me? As long as there's physical contact, you can still hear my thoughts, right?" Xiang Di asked him in a murmur, lying on his lap with her eyes closed.
Logically speaking, he should have been able to read her mind no longer, but he still knew what she wanted, from a small glass of warm water to sober her up to this dreamlike manor wedding.
Ke Bai Jiangxin said, "I'm not lying to you. Unless you give me oral sex, I really can't hear you."
Xiang Di asked, puzzled, "Then how did you know... I'm thirsty and dizzy right now?"
He whispered, "Because I love you."
Love is the most magical mind-reading ability. Even if he can't hear her inner thoughts, he will still understand her unspoken sadness. When she says "I'm fine," he can hear the weight of her heart. When she sighs, he will turn around and ask her what's wrong.
She didn't need to explain; he already understood all the joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness in her silence.
Hearing his sudden confession, Xiang Di closed her eyes, chuckled, and said, "I love you too." Then she proudly told him that she was so cool today, and everyone envied her wedding and that she had married the right person.
While drunk, she sang one of her favorite songs to confess her feelings to him.
"You are my little Xin Xin, shining brightly in the sky. I've decided to love you, and I won't give up easily~"
As Bai Jiangxin listened to her drunken tune, a smile played on his lips. He didn't speak, but gently stroked her drooping eyelashes, rosy cheeks, and happy lips with his hand. A long-unseen sinister glint suddenly flashed in his gentle and focused eyes.
At this wedding, he fulfilled all of a girl's long-cherished wishes for her wedding, and everyone said she married the right person.
Xiang Di felt the same way, so at the moment of the wedding vows, she cried her eyes out and said "I love you" over and over again.
At that moment, he knew that he had achieved his goal; he had received the strongest guarantee from her and could rest assured.
He is her husband now. True feelings can change in an instant. Even if one day she no longer loves him and is unwilling to say "I love you" to him again, she will no longer have any chance to back out.
Even if she begged him to let go back then, he would never have signed.
Just as he said in his oath:
"I give you my whole soul, along with its quirks, its temper, its mood swings, and its eighteen hundred bad habits."
"It's awful, but it has one redeeming quality: it loves you."
You entered my life, which I had previously taken for granted, and made me realize that this world still holds value for me. I have given you everything I have, so you must love me, forever.
Please, I beg you, I implore you, you must do it.
————————
—"I give you my whole soul" is an adaptation of Wang Xiaobo's "Loving You Is Like Loving Life".
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The story is now complete! Bonus chapters will be released sporadically, so please check them out whenever you feel like it. I can assure you, the class monitor and Qianqian definitely have a happy ending. As for the aunt, until I have some good inspiration, let's leave her to enjoy her happiness alone for now.
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I don't know what I'll write next yet. It might be a story about a boss stealing his subordinate's wife called "The Neighbor," or it might be a chaotic love triangle story called "I Really Don't Have a Boyfriend." I might even start a short story, with the male lead most likely being 837's cousin. There aren't any pre-orders yet, so please follow my author page to find out when I open pre-orders! Follow me, you won't be disappointed! [Let me see...]
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