Chapter 53 Chapter 53 You are not at home
Li Jinglang had a very long dream. In the dream, he was swaying everywhere. Sometimes he was blown into the sky, and sometimes he was pushed into the sea. He was covered with bruises but didn't feel any pain. He just kept chasing the shadow in front of him.
"Wait for me..."
The shadow came and went, as if he could catch it with just a stretch of his hand, but it quickly disappeared as soon as he reached out his hand.
"I grew up very quickly."
"Wait for me..."
"Don't stay so far away from me..."
He ran until he was exhausted, his mouth full of the taste of blood, but he still couldn't catch up with the person in front of him. He watched her getting farther and farther away from him, and finally she turned into a small dot of light and disappeared from his sight.
He also lost weight and fell madly.
"Tang Ningyue!"
"do not leave Me!"
When he woke up in a cold sweat, Tang Ningyue was sleeping beside his bed, her hand still in his arms. The warm touch was like a life-saving straw that he had suddenly grabbed. Li Jinglang calmed down in an instant and fell back down.
Tang Ningyue was sleeping soundly, perhaps because she was too tired, so his screams did not wake her up.
The sky outside the window had darkened, and the lights were on. The warm light of the floor lamp in the ward was also on. Tang Ningyue's hand was still tightly held by him, and she was sweating slightly in her palm.
He lowered his eyes and gently kissed her fingertips.
It was sweet, and he couldn't help wanting to lick it. But she wouldn't allow it, she had clearly forbidden it, so he didn't dare, not even when she was asleep.
Li Jinglang tilted his body and put his head close to her. But it wasn't enough, so he moved closer... until he could see her long eyelashes clearly.
Being too close, he was afraid that his breathing would disturb her, so he held his breath gently, not daring to breathe too hard.
"I miss you so much..."
Li Jinglang murmured unconsciously, his eyes sliding across the fine hairs on her face.
Li Jinglang couldn't help but get close to her. Most of the time, he didn't dare to touch her, but he wanted to be touched by her. However, he hated her kissing and touching without any emotion.
It was clearly her fault, but in the end it was he who became the contradiction.
"I miss you so much."
He kissed her hand again, moving involuntarily.
It was rare for the two of them to have such harmonious moments. Usually, when they were together, they either had fierce arguments or were overwhelmed with passion. It seemed that they had never been able to be together peacefully.
Li Jinglang wanted to fall in love with her, to hug and kiss her lovingly like other couples, to watch movies together, instead of taking advantage of her free time to have physical entanglement and a satisfying sex transaction, or to be used as a tool to vent his desires.
He tilted his head slightly, and with trembling lips, he kissed her lightly on the lips, carefully, with eyes full of love, and lightly.
“I like you so much.”
Li Jinglang felt a pang of pain in his nose when he said this unconsciously. He really liked her very much, but almost all of his pain in the past twenty years of his life came from liking her.
Whether she bullied him, hurt him, or treated him in any way, Li Jinglang accepted it all. He had experienced illness, bleeding, and hospitalization many times.
But none of that mattered, as long as she was by his side.
As long as she was there, it didn't matter.
"Don't leave me..."
Just don't leave me.
-
When Tang Ningyue woke up, Li Jinglang had fallen asleep again.
His hand was still tightly clasped around hers, hidden in the lapel of his shirt, close to his heart.
The hand he was holding was already numb. She struggled slightly, but before she could exert any strength, Li Jinglang woke up in shock. He took a deep breath in fear and pulled her into his arms.
"don't want..."
His voice was still hoarse and terribly so.
His mood was even worse and his face was pale, as if he had just suffered a serious illness.
The doctor said that he was vomiting blood because his gastric mucosa was damaged due to excessive emotional fluctuations. Tang Ningyue didn't dare to provoke him anymore and let him hold her tightly in his arms without refusing.
"It's okay, it's okay." Tang Ningyue touched the soft hair on his forehead and reached behind him to help him calm down. "It's okay, it's okay."
“.....”
Li Jinglang didn't say anything, but closed his eyes and smelled the scent on her body.
The disgusting smell of the man had faded a lot, replaced by the pungent smell of disinfectant, and he actually felt at ease.
"Are you thirsty?" she asked.
“.....”
Li Jinglang felt that she had not spoken to him like this for a long time. She had been so sweet-talking him yesterday when she persuaded him to live with her, but the fierce confrontation last night had filled his mind with horrible memories.
"Are you hungry?" she asked again.
“.....”
Without saying a word, Tang Ningyue stood up, stretched out her hands, held his face in her palms, and stroked it gently.
"Don't want to pay attention to me?"
Suddenly, she coaxed him with these words, and Li Jinglang's eyes instantly turned red.
It's unfair.
It's true that he felt wronged and uncomfortable. If she had comforted him yesterday, maybe he wouldn't be in such a bad situation.
She would only look at him when he was on the verge of death.
"Does your face still hurt?"
Tang Ningyue bent her fingers and rubbed it gently twice.
She had already applied medicine to him and the swelling had gone down, but there were still some red marks, so she thought it shouldn't be too painful.
Li Jinglang tilted his head back, rested his chin on her abdomen, put his hands around her back, tightly grasped the hem of her clothes, and nodded gently.
"Does it still hurt?" she asked again.
He didn't answer, but instead a line of tears slid down the corner of his eye and fell on her fingertips.
"Can you put some more medicine on it?"
After saying that, Tang Ningyue was about to let go of him to get the ointment on the bedside table.
"No..." Li Jinglang suddenly left her arms and pulled her back in panic. He held her hand and rubbed it against his face again, staring at her with wet eyes, "It doesn't hurt... It doesn't hurt anymore."
He shook his head again and pressed his cheek against hers once more.
"Touch..." he said, his head was still not clear after waking up from a dream, and his thoughts were a little confused, "hug..."
"Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn't. What's going on?"
She sat on the edge of the bed, staring into his eyes and rubbing his face gently.
She was very close to him, her eyes fixed on the traces of his face. Li Jinglang stared at her straight, as if afraid that she would drift away from his eyes.
His gaze was too pious, motionless, and wide open, as if trying to take her completely into his eyes. She looked both obedient and pitiful.
Perhaps because she really hurt him this time, Tang Ningyue suddenly felt a little distressed.
"I haven't eaten all day, would you like to eat something?"
He shook his head.
"Would you like some water?"
He shook his head again.
No need to drink water or eat, just stay together.
That's great.
"I don't like being too thin because of hunger." She said, and her eyes flashed at him, as if she heard some key words.
Li Jinglang frowned slightly and his eyelids moved, seeming to be somewhat dissatisfied.
"Eat?" She rubbed his head randomly.
Li Jinglang is very well-behaved most of the time. As long as he stays by her side and she doesn't leave suddenly or unexpectedly, he will be well-behaved and listen to her.
"Um..."
This time he finally agreed, which was pretty good.
He was well behaved for only a short time. When the meal was served, he became disobedient again.
He refused to sit down and eat properly. He had to hold one of her hands and half of his body pressed against her before he would open his mouth to take a bite. He was so difficult to deal with.
Tang Ningyue's good temper was almost exhausted by him.
"What's wrong with you?"
When Li Jinglang pulled her hand into his arms for the second time, Tang Ningyue finally got angry. The little bastard continued to hold her hand and rest his chin on her shoulder as if nothing had happened.
"Li Jinglang."
She straightened him up and planned to reason with him.
But some people pretend to be stupid and don't listen to anything she says, and insist on doing what she wants.
"I'm angry, Li Jinglang."
He still didn't move, and only felt satisfied when he hugged her and held her.
Tang Ningyue sighed and threatened.
"If you continue like this, I really won't care about you anymore."
As if he was really scared, Li Jinglang loosened his grip slightly, using his free hand to hold the spoon, and looked at her again with wet eyes, as if to prove to her that he was obedient.
Tang Ningyue was so angry that she laughed.
If he doesn’t want to let go, then don’t let go. She didn’t argue with him anymore and just let him go.
"Be good."
"We'll go home when we recover."
Li Jinglang suddenly froze and then turned his head towards her.
"I'm not going home." He took a deep breath. "I'm not going home."
"Why?" Tang Ningyue was puzzled. "Is the hospital so good?"
“.....”
While eating rice mixed with tears, Li Jinglang grabbed her hand and rubbed her fingers vigorously, as if he could find some comfort in her.
"You're not home," he repeated. "You're not home."
"I don't want to go back to a home without you."
"I won't leave. I'll stay with you, at home." Tang Ningyue took a tissue and wiped his tears. "I'll always be with you, okay?"
"No..." Li Jinglang shook his head, his brows furrowed in a panic. "You lied to me."
"You lied to me..."
He couldn't control his breathing and fell down without being able to support his body.
"You lied to me."
He sobbed and fell into her arms, holding the corner of her clothes tightly.
"You've been lying to me..."
"I'm afraid..."
"Jinglang."
Tang Ningyue hugged him, but Li Jinglang still didn't feel safe. His whole body was cold and filled with fear.
He hugged her tightly, clenched his fists, and dug his fingertips deep into his palms, trying desperately to control his trembling body until his nails scratched the skin and blood oozed out.
"Tang Ningyue..." He was about to bury himself in her body.
“I’m so scared…”
"I'm so scared that you won't want me anymore."
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The author has something to say: The puppy was frightened into a fool.
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