Chapter One: Thirty Years Ago
The walls were gray, the furniture was old, and Shu Yao got up from the kang (a heated brick bed). She even noticed the "double happiness" character pasted on the window. Looking down at her hands, she quickly ran to the mirror.
The mercury mirror was very clear; the woman inside had a face like a peach blossom, eyebrows like distant mountains, clear and pure eyes, and lips as delicate as roses on a branch.
It was a dream, yet she vividly remembered something from over thirty years ago. She had just married her husband; she was twenty-three. Urged on by her in-laws, the two had their wedding ceremony and consummated their marriage.
The calendar hanging on the wall showed that this year was 1958. She and the man got married in the fifth month of the lunar calendar. The temperature was a bit hot now, so it must be the height of summer.
The door creaked open from the outside, and a man several decades younger entered. The spirited young man blushed upon seeing her and handed her the apricots he was holding.
"Here, I picked them in the suburbs, they're not sour."
She took it blankly, then stared blankly around the house where she had lived for so many years. She was separated from her family when she was twelve, and during the chaotic times of war, she was sold to the Sun family by human traffickers.
Sun's mother was seriously ill at the time and was anxious to settle her son's marriage. However, most families willing to let their daughters become child brides were poor, and Sun's mother didn't approve of them. But this girl was literate and beautiful, and she was immediately very satisfied.
She was three years older than him, and there's an old saying that a woman three years older than him is like a golden brick. The fortune teller the Sun family consulted said that her birth chart would bring good fortune to the Sun family. So she went from being a wealthy heiress to becoming the Sun family's child bride.
After the founding of the People's Republic of China in 1949, the Sun family referred to her as their adopted daughter, and planned to have her marry their son after he came of age, thus strengthening their family ties. People at that time did not have the concept of household registration; such a thing simply did not exist.
Seeing that smiling face, she suddenly felt a wave of nausea and quickly ran out to vomit. Disgusting; seeing him again only made her feel nauseous.
She recalled his words from thirty years later, when she happened to run into him, Meng Xi, and their daughter in the hospital. She saw them, but he felt no shame; instead, he was self-righteous.
“You were never the woman I liked. You were my family’s child bride, and my parents forced me to marry you. You’re older than me, and I’ve never liked you. I only ever saw you as an older sister. Xiao Xi and I are the real love.”
The daughter and son were furious. The daughter was so angry that tears streamed down her face. "How could you say that? You treat my mother like a sister? You married her like a sister, you had children with her like a sister? Have you ever seen a sister like that?"
The son was equally furious, trembling all over. While supporting her, he yelled at the man, "How dare you say such a thing? She is your lawfully wedded wife, she bore you children, and she took care of your parents in their old age and saw them off in their final days. How could you say such things? How heartbroken my mother must be! Apologize right now, apologize!"
Facing his two children glaring at him, the man felt even angrier instead of reflecting on his own actions. "Look at them! These are the good children you raised and raised, showing no respect for their father at all. They always side with you. How can they be my children? Why don't they ever side with me? And they don't even look like me!"
After years of living together, years as husband and wife, he actually said this in the end. Not only did he not love her, but he even accused the two children. What did he mean? Did he mean the children weren't his, or that he simply didn't want them? She pointed at him, speechless, her vision blurred, and she fainted from anger and grief.
She could almost hear her children's urgent calls for her. Her son was carrying her as they rushed towards the emergency room, while her daughter cried out, "Doctor, please save my mom!" The more furious they were with that man before, the more anxious they became as they cried for help, their voices trembling with sobs.
"Yaoyao, Yaoyao," the man called after her, his eyes full of confusion. "What's wrong with you?"
"Don't, don't touch me."
He reached out to pat her back, but she stopped him. She felt disgusted just looking at him and couldn't bear the thought of him touching her. She had overheard Meng Xi's daughter calling him "Dad," and Meng Xi's daughter was three years younger than her child. Did that mean he might be having an affair with Meng Xi?
He and Meng Xi were classmates, and Meng Xi was the same age as him. She and Meng Xi worked at the same textile factory and had known each other for decades. But she never expected that Meng Xi would get married and divorced and live alone with a child, and that child was actually his? Was it really his, or was there another story?
The man was stung by her evasive gaze and was momentarily at a loss for words. "Wife, what's wrong?"
"I have an upset stomach. Don't call me 'wife,' I'm not used to it."
"oh."
His family originally had some assets and a good reputation before liberation; everyone called him the young master. But after liberation, these advantages turned into disadvantages. His family's property was divided up, and his businesses became state-owned. Later, when class backgrounds were assessed, things became even more difficult.
After vomiting, Shu Yao washed her face, her mind reeling, unsure of her current situation. She pinched herself, wincing in pain. The pain meant it wasn't a dream, but she should be in a hospital receiving emergency treatment, not thirty years ago.
She sat alone in the room for a long time, thinking about many things. Could she go back? She had to go back. Her two children were crying and begging the doctor to save her. If she didn't go back, how heartbroken her two children would be if she died.
"Shuyao, shouldn't Shuyao be cooking?"
Her mother-in-law was calling from outside, so she got up, took a deep breath, and went to the kitchen to cook. At this time, a rationing system had begun, and dinner was very simple: a pot of cornmeal porridge, a small steamed bun for each person, and a cucumber salad from the yard.
When she saw her in-laws again, her heart skipped a beat. Her mother-in-law was in poor health, but she persevered year after year until her two children were fifteen years old before she passed away. The following year, her father-in-law passed away, and soon the college entrance examination was reinstated. Her two children went to university, leaving only her and Sun Yaozu at home.
"Eat cucumbers."
Not only did Sun Yaozu think something was wrong with her, but her in-laws also found her strange. Her father-in-law always acted like a parent, rarely speaking at home, and it was her mother-in-law who would offer her food.
"What's wrong with you today? You were just throwing up like that, are you pregnant?"
“No.” She recalled her younger tone: “Mom, we’ve only been married for less than a month. That thing just arrived and hasn’t left yet.”
"Oh, I said it wouldn't be that fast. What's wrong with you? You look blank and aren't saying anything."
"I feel a bit unwell, my stomach is churning, I probably ate something bad."
"Should we see a doctor?"
"No need, I can take care of it myself."
"I still have some eggs at home. I'll steam some egg custard for myself later. It's good for my stomach and nutritious."
"Thank you, Mother."
When she first arrived at the Sun family home, her in-laws were very strict with her. She had to serve them, establish rules, take care of Sun Yaozu, and prepare medicine for her mother-in-law. They treated her like a daughter-in-law from the old society. They only started to treat her well after the neighborhood director visited after the liberation, and they quickly changed their attitude.
A few years ago, when the state-owned textile factory was recruiting, she applied. Her family originally owned a textile factory, and her father was a student who had studied abroad, so she knew a lot about textiles. She could also draw and design, so she was assigned to the printing workshop.
Sun Yaozu graduated from high school and now works as a clerk in a machine factory. Neither of his parents are employed, and he's unwilling to do odd jobs like pulling carts, which are too strenuous. For years, they've lived off her salary and the family's savings. He's been kind to her over the years, partly because of his job, but mostly because he's afraid she'll leave.
She steamed the egg custard; in her past life, she would have saved it for her in-laws and husband. But now, she wouldn't do that. If no one in this world loves her, then she has to love herself.
She ate a steamed egg custard all by herself in the kitchen. That night, she washed up and went to bed by herself. Sun Yaozu was waiting for her to bring him water to wash his feet, but nothing came.
"My dear, where is my water?"
"Go and fight it yourself."
She spoiled him too much. She was twelve when she first married into the family, and she took care of him like an older sister. Over the years, it became a habit; she always thought he was young and gave in to him in everything. He was also very sweet-talking, and over the years he had been very good at flattering her. He praised her beauty and said she was capable.
She never doubted that he was lying to her; after all, she was always the one being praised in public. She was good-looking, cultured, and could paint and play the piano; from childhood to adulthood, she had seen nothing but envious and admiring glances. Therefore, she never suspected that he was deceiving her.
"Yaoyao, what's wrong with you?"
She turned to face him: "Aren't you being a nuisance? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? This is a new society, you're no longer the young master of the Sun family. What, do you still want me to serve you like a maid?"
"No." He hadn't expected her to retort like that, and for a moment he felt embarrassed. "Who needs you to serve me? I'll fetch the water myself."
He was angry and ignored her, which suited her perfectly. That night, they slept back to back, each on one side. As she drifted off to sleep, she heard her son and daughter calling out, begging for a doctor to save her.
In her dream, she saw a child crying and screaming, then her parents running with her. Their car broke down halfway and wouldn't start. Someone shouted that bandits were coming, and everyone scattered in terror. She frantically tried to find her mother, but a woman grabbed her and told her to run for her life first.
She woke up from a dream, drenched in sweat. Her heart pounded with anxiety, and she couldn't fall back asleep. In the darkness, she counted the days. She had become pregnant with twins shortly after getting married, so the two little ones should already be in her belly.
She's dead, isn't she? What is this now? A second chance?
No, after witnessing those things with her own eyes, she could no longer live with him. But she couldn't bear to leave her children; they were both her precious darlings. How could she leave the Sun family? They had depended on her for so many years; how could they possibly let her go?
She got up as dawn was breaking, walked past the man to the field to cook. As was her habit, she cooked for the whole family, scooping out the rice and then pouring it back in, only cooking her own portion.
If she could really start over, she would have to leave the Sun family. She didn't want to stay here for even a day longer, and she didn't want to see Sun Yaozu even once more. Even if she didn't have a place to stay right now, she would never follow the path of her previous life.
She quickly ate her meal, washed the dishes, and went to work. Not wanting to see the Sun family, she left very early. The streets were deserted, and thinking of her past life, she was overcome with sorrow, and tears streamed down her face.
He showered her with sweet words, and she assumed they were childhood sweethearts. Feeling she was older than him, she took care of him in every way. But in the end, he said he had never loved her and was forced to marry her.
That bastard! If she can't kill him with one blow, then she must stay far away from him. She will never live with him again, never want to share a roof with him again.
She was so engrossed in crying that she didn't notice someone handing her a handkerchief. The moment she looked up, she saw a face that was both familiar and unfamiliar.
Su Xiangdong had strong features and was wearing a white short-sleeved shirt and black trousers. He parked his bicycle beside him, squatted down, and handed her a handkerchief. "What's wrong? Why are you crying like this?"
She quickly sniffed: "No, it's nothing."
A note from the author:
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I've started a new story! If you happen to pass by, please remember to bookmark it. Mwah!
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