Chapter 51 You just like me, don't you?
Si Yuan stopped in her tracks.
Why would he come?
She composed herself and walked over.
"What do you want?"
Song Yan slowly raised his head, his eyes devoid of any of their former warmth, only a deep darkness.
He didn't say anything.
Si Yuan couldn't help but ask, "What's wrong with you? You're smoking so much. Mom will be angry if she finds out..."
Do you care?
Song Yan finally spoke, his voice hoarse.
Why did you stay out all night when you were in London?
Si Yuan's expression froze.
That was a long time ago.
During the worst period of her depression, she was forced to be hospitalized by a psychologist, who even restricted her movement.
The ward door was locked from the outside, and I had to swallow a lot of medicine every day.
Later, the cost of those medicines increased, and the monthly allowance given by the Song family was simply not enough.
She couldn't bring herself to ask for it back, so she could only take on freelance design work.
Therefore, Song Yan was able to find out that he hadn't returned home at night.
But can't they find out why he didn't come home at night?
What is he doing here?
Concern? Inquiry? Or questioning?
Si Yuan found it funny, but her chest felt like it was stuffed with a ball of burning hot cotton, making her feel suffocated and in pain.
She tugged at the corners of her mouth, a hint of coldness in her eyes. "Brother, are you investigating me?"
She took two steps forward, getting closer to Song Yan, and could clearly see the disappointment and disgust in his eyes.
"What, did you find out anything else?"
Song Yan frowned even more, his heart skipped a beat at her question.
But Ding Momo's words and the empty villa immediately shook her resolve.
"Why would I investigate you? If you were upright and honest, would I need to go to all that trouble?"
He took a step forward, closing in on Si Yuan, his tone filled with suppressed anger, "What are you doing staying out all night? Where did you get these cigarette burns on your hands? Si Yuan, what exactly did you study abroad?"
Si Yuan's fingertips curled up, and for a moment her heart felt as if it were being torn to pieces.
Looking at the person who had protected her since childhood, she felt utterly cold inside.
"Why are you asking these questions now? When I was exiled to a foreign country by you all, why didn't you say a word for me?"
"Don't try to fool me with those excuses!"
He stepped forward, his tall figure completely enveloping Si Yuan in shadow. The smell of tobacco mixed with suppressed anger wafted over her. "I'm asking you, what happened to those cigarette burns on your body? Who were you seeing all night? Tell me!"
As Si Yuan looked into his eyes, filled with suspicion and distrust, her heart sank deeper and deeper.
She didn't want to cry.
She always thought she wouldn't care anymore.
But why is there still something hot churning in my eyes?
Why am I still sad?
Why, after all these years... is it still so disappointing?
Seeing her silence, Song Yan assumed that her secret had been exposed, and his disappointment turned into complete irritation.
He stared at her reddened eyes, chuckled, and said with a sarcastic certainty, "Si Yuan, don't you like me?"
Si Yuan suddenly looked up, staring at him in disbelief.
"Isn't all this just to get my attention?"
He pressed closer, his eyes burning with intensity, as if he could see right through her.
"Returning to China, faking illness, staying out all night, doing all these inexplicable things... Si Yuan, do you really want me to look at you even once more?"
Before he could finish speaking, he reached out and forcefully wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her into his embrace.
The waist beneath his palm was astonishingly slender, causing a sudden tightness in his heart, which was quickly overwhelmed by an inexplicable possessiveness.
He lowered his head, his hot breath brushing against her nose, and with an undeniable force, he pressed his lips hard against hers.
Just as their lips were about to touch, Si Yuan jerked her head away as if she had been burned.
Song Yan's kiss landed on her hair.
Her whole body was tense, and her mind went blank.
What is this brother, who taught her manners from a young age and always kept himself in a dignified and proper manner, doing?
What is Song Yan doing now, who abandoned her time and time again in order to maintain the dignity of the Song family and himself?
Does he no longer care about his dignity?
Si Yuan came to her senses and almost instinctively tried to push him away, but as soon as she raised her hand, Song Yan grabbed her wrist and pressed it behind her back.
"Why are you hiding?"
Song Yan's breath tickled her ear, his tone full of sarcasm, "You went through all that trouble just to get this, didn't you? Why are you hiding?"
His words pierced Si Yuan's heart like an ice pick, instantly unleashing her suppressed grievances and disappointment.
What gives him the right to insult and belittle himself?
Si Yuan struggled, but he gripped her wrist even tighter, the pain making her knuckles turn white and her eyes turn completely red.
"Song Yan! Have you gone mad?"
Song Yan continued looking at her, and slowly spoke:
"Si Yuan, we grew up together, and I'm the person who understands you best in this world!"
"I already guessed what you were thinking before those diaries."
journal?
Si Yuan's pupils suddenly contracted, as if struck by lightning, and the blood in her body almost froze instantly.
She looked up abruptly, meeting the fleeting panic in Song Yan's eyes.
The panic was quickly masked by force, but she still saw it.
It turns out he knew everything.
I know about her diary filled with her innermost thoughts.
I know she likes me, but she doesn't dare to say it out loud.
I know that her cautious approach wasn't the kind of dependence that siblings have.
But he said nothing, pretending to know nothing.
Let her struggle with this thought, let her play the role of "immature".
He will always be that decent, innocent, and good brother who is "harassed" by his sister.
Therefore, the people she was reporting to included not only Lin Shuangyu, but also Song Yan.
The pain in her heart surged like a tsunami, and Si Yuan's voice trembled with disbelief: "...You tacitly approved all the things Lin Shuangyu did?"
Song Yan's fingers tightened suddenly, gripping her wrist painfully.
His eyes darkened, but his tone carried a hint of self-righteous resentment: "I just want us to get back on track!"
He frowned and corrected her word by word: "Only in this way can you always be my sister and stay peacefully in the Song family! You shattered everything!"
"It was you who insisted on making your intentions public, it was you who insisted on making it known to everyone, you forced yourself to go abroad!"
Looking at the accusation in his eyes, Si Yuan felt only absurdity and sorrow.
All the grievances and all the hurt were ultimately her fault.
She opened her mouth, but her throat felt like it was blocked with shards of glass; every breath was sharp and painful.
Tears finally streamed down her face, landing on the back of Song Yan's hand that was holding her wrist, burning his fingertips.
She cried.
Song Yancai realized he had lost control.
He was stunned.
The grip on her wrist loosened little by little, and Song Yan looked away.
His Adam's apple bobbed, and the sharpness in his voice was gone, replaced by a hint of barely perceptible panic.
He spoke in a very low voice, as if he were defending himself or trying to convince himself.
“You crossed the line first. I just wanted Lin Shuangyu to remind you of the consequences of crossing the line, to scare you, and to make you calm down. I was just doing what an older brother should do.”
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