Chapter 80 Ending
Zen felt a tear fall on her face.
"It's over?" Yun Yi gripped her hand until it hurt, pressing closer and closer. "If he hadn't interfered, we would have lived happily ever after."
Zen Zhen stepped back helplessly, his heel accidentally hitting the seat, and he fell back into the chair.
Yun Yi leaned over her frightened face, trapping her between himself and the seat.
"Isn't it good to be with me?" His expression was already a little crazy. "When I ascend the throne, you will still be the queen, Yuan Zhao will still be the crown prince, nothing will change."
He leaned too close, and Zen Zhen couldn't help but turn away: "Your Highness, we are done."
"I don't admit it's over." Seeing her avoiding him, Yun Yi's eyes suddenly darkened, and then replaced with a gentle face, "You like him like this, don't you?"
He originally looked 80% similar to Chen Dingyao, and with deliberate disguise he looked exactly like him, only a little younger.
"What he can give you, I can give you too." He had spied on their intimate interactions countless times from the corners, unintentionally learning many of his expressions and habits. "Zenzhen, look at me. I'm no different from him. If you can love him, you can definitely love me too."
Yun Yi never thought that he would have to use the most disdainful way to coax her, but once he thought that she would show an expression of attachment to him like she did to her father, he felt happy about it.
He imitated the man's expression and tone: "You just fell in love with his fake appearance. Please look at me, Zen Zhen. I can do better than him."
Chan Zhen stared blankly at the expression on his face that was so familiar to her. He was too much like His Majesty, not only in appearance, but also in his aura and the gaze he gave her. No wonder she mistook him for His Majesty when she was unconscious at the lotus pond.
But even though they are so similar, they are not exactly the same two people.
"Your Highness," Zen Zhen thought of him. After seeing the light that suddenly lit up in his eyes, she suddenly felt a little reluctant. Even so, her voice was still firm, "You are not him."
His Majesty is unique. The confidence and composure he has gained from his years of high position is not something Yun Yi can imitate at this moment. Perhaps in a dozen years, Yun Yi will not be much worse than him, but now there is still a clear difference between them in Chan Zhen's heart.
His Majesty always treated her with the tolerance that only an elder could show. He taught her how to write and read, indulged her in all her mischief, and when she was sad and frustrated, he would hold her in his arms and touch her head to comfort her.
Now, Chanzhen thought about her life. Perhaps the reason she admired His Majesty so much when she lost her memory was because her feelings for him, beyond the ordinary romantic relationship, also contained a certain admiration for a teacher. He would patiently teach her, filling in the gaps in her knowledge bit by bit, allowing her to gradually grow into the person she had once longed to be.
"I'm sorry, Your Highness..." The longing in her heart grew wildly like weeds. She couldn't wait to see him open his eyes and call his name gently again. To His Highness the Prince of Jin, she could only apologize, "I'm sorry..."
"Why?" Yun Yi let go of her hand and took a step back, his face bleak. "How am I worse than him?"
Zen Zhen thought about the man's appearance in his mind: "You are no worse than him, but... I love him."
"Don't you have even the slightest affection for me?" Yun Yi looked at her masochistically as she missed another person in front of him, with a tenderness and attachment in his eyes that he had never felt before.
Zen Zhen was silent for a long time before he said softly, "Yes."
Yun Yi waited quietly for her next words.
"But..." Zenzhen took a breath and continued, "That was all in the past life."
"Your Highness, I'm afraid of being abandoned."
Her mother once wanted to abandon her, just because she was a girl. Not only could her father not recognize her as a child, but she would also be a burden to her. If she hadn't cried so hard and awakened a little mother's love in her, she would probably have turned into a handful of dirt in the underworld.
Even after being taken home by her father, she was still worried that one day she would be abandoned and kicked out of the house, so even though she didn't like her father's arrangements, she still didn't resist.
In her previous life, she had once considered His Royal Highness the Prince of Jin a lifeline, hoping he could pull her out of the quagmire, but His Royal Highness had pushed her hand away and walked away without looking back. She could not forget the despair she felt at that moment, so even if His Royal Highness were to reveal his true feelings to her now, she could no longer trust him.
"So you hate me." Yun Yi said with a wry smile.
"No, I don't hate you." Zen Zhen smiled with relief, a tear rolling down his cheek, "I want to let go of myself and let go of the entanglements of my past life. I still have a long life ahead of me, and I want to live well."
"Your Highness, please let yourself go. It's a rare opportunity to live again. Don't dwell on the past."
After a long while, Yun Yi finally said, "If I let go, will you be happier for the rest of your life?"
"I don't know." Zenjin shook his head. "I just... want to see him wake up."
The answer couldn't be more obvious.
Yun Yi smiled with tears in her eyes: "I understand."
He took two steps back and bowed to her, saying goodbye: "This is my farewell, Yun Yi. Please take care of yourself, Your Majesty."
After saying that, he turned around and walked towards the door without hesitation, without looking back at her.
It was time to let go. The pain in his heart had already numbed him. She didn't love him, so what was the point of continuing to cling to her? Was he going to watch her fade away like in his previous life? He had already let her down once, so he should at least keep her safe and happy in this life, without worries.
Even if he could only watch from afar.
The distance to the door was not long, only a dozen steps, but Yun Yi felt it was as long as a whole lifetime. Countless memories flashed through his mind, and finally stopped at the moment they first met.
She held the pipa in her arms and bowed to him gracefully, her voice soft and gentle with a hint of trembling.
"This servant pays homage to His Highness..."
Under the flickering candlelight, her face was as radiant as pearls, which suddenly aroused his interest, even though he had originally shown little interest.
From then on, things got out of control.
Zen Zhen watched his back as he walked away until the palace gate closed again and he completely disappeared from his sight.
The ill-fated relationship between her and His Royal Highness the Prince of Jin in her previous life was eventually severed by her own hands.
Zenzhen wiped away his tears, composed himself, and then returned to the inner hall.
The room was filled with the aroma of medicine, but the man was still lying motionless on the bed, showing no signs of waking up.
She walked to the bed, sat down, and held his hand. "Your Highness is finally willing to let go. Congratulations on getting what you wished for."
It turned out that Zen Zhen really liked being held in his broad hands. He could feel the warmth coming from his body, which warmed his whole heart.
"But when will you wake up?" Zen Zhen put his cold palm to his ear, hoping to warm it up a little. "I still have a score to settle with you. You can't just run away like this."
Wake up soon, Zhao'er and I miss you very much.
…
Chen Dingyao opened his eyes and saw heavy snow falling. All he could see was a vast expanse of white. The north wind whistled past his ears, and the cold air pierced his sleeves and penetrated into his bones.
Where is this?
Chen Dingyao suddenly couldn't remember why he appeared here, his mind went blank, but years of experience made him calm down immediately, and he looked at everything around him.
This was a small courtyard with a distinct Jiangnan style. Beside the wall stood a bare old tree, its branches covered in snow. This courtyard must have been carefully planned when it was first built, but now it seemed to have been abandoned for a long time. The ground was littered with debris that had been scraped from who knows where, and if you weren't careful, you'd bump into it while walking.
A big red lantern with a hole in it swayed left and right under the eaves in the strong wind. When Chen Dingyao approached, it finally couldn't withstand the damage and fell down, sinking into the snow pile.
Perhaps it heard the noise in the yard, the tightly closed wooden door creaked open a crack, and a little head poked out from the crack, and the future unparalleled grace could be vaguely seen on the tender face.
Chen Dingyao stopped and recognized the familiar face at a glance.
"The lantern fell." The girl looked at the heavy snow outside hesitantly. After all, she was reluctant to part with the big red lantern, so she tentatively stretched out her foot to pick it up.
Seeing that she was only wearing a tattered piece of clothing in such severe cold, her face was pale and she was shivering from the cold, Chen Dingyao pursed his lips in pain and stepped forward to pick up the lantern.
"Give."
The girl looked up at the tall man in front of her and did not immediately take the lantern. Instead, she asked with a hint of caution, "Who are you?"
"I..." Chen Dingyao didn't know how to explain. After thinking for a moment, he said, "I am the one who loves you the most in this world."
The girl's eyes lit up: "Are you my daddy?"
"I'm not your father." Chen Dingyao held the lantern in one hand and touched her head with the other, "But I love you more than he does."
The little girl took the lantern with a pout, and still unwilling to give up, she asked again, "Are you really not my father?"
The man in front of her was so tall and looked very powerful. If he was her father, she would definitely not be bullied by other children anymore.
Chen Dingyao squatted down and looked into her eyes: "I'm sorry."
He could not be her father, but he could be her future husband and would love her more than her father.
"Okay then." A hint of disappointment flashed in the girl's eyes.
Seeing her shivering in the cold wind, Chen Dingyao took off his cloak and put it on her, wrapping her up tightly.
"Are you still cold?"
The girl patted herself in surprise and said, "Huh? I'm not cold anymore."
Chen Dingyao looked at her gently, which made her blush a little embarrassedly.
"Why do you keep looking at me?"
"I was thinking..." Chen Dingyao touched her head, "I should have found you earlier."
This way she won't have to suffer so much and will be held in the palm of her hand and well cared for from the very beginning.
"But you've found me now, haven't you?" The girl smiled, revealing two dimples on her face. She reached out a hand from under her cloak and held his. "I'm still waiting for you. Please wake up soon, okay?"
The girl in front of him suddenly grew up into a stunning young lady in an instant, with tiny glimmers of light in her glass-like eyes.
"I miss you so much."
…
The wind and snow in front of him disappeared in an instant. Chen Dingyao opened his eyes and what came into view was the face that had been haunting him in his dreams.
She lay on the edge of the bed, holding him tightly with one hand, sleeping soundly with her eyes closed.
"Zen Zhen."
Feeling the vibration in his palm, Zen Zhen slowly opened his eyes and met a pair of familiar gentle eyes.
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