Luo Lingyu wiped her tears and said in a hoarse voice: "...No, you guys go to sleep and ignore me."
She cried and sobbed, feeling very sad.
Selfishness frightened her, love made her unbearable... The girl sobbed with a handkerchief covering her mouth, eyes blurred with tears, and couldn't help thinking that it would be great if Lu Yun was here.
…
Perhaps the dream Lu Xian described was too real, and she was filled with fear and pressure, so she cried herself to sleep at night. In her dream, Luo Lingyu also dreamed of something similar.
She didn't have Lu Erlang's physique, so she couldn't dream about the future like him. Luo Lingyu's dream was just a world without Lu Yun.
Maybe she married someone else as Lu Erlang said, or maybe Lu Yun died later and she returned to Jianye alone.
In short, in the dream, it was still the familiar Jianye and the familiar Lu family, but Lu Yun was no longer there.
The girl in the dream walked through the "Qingyuan". The flowers and plants in the courtyard had withered, the maids and servants had been dismissed, and even Jinyue had married and left Jianye. There was also the grape trellis, but there were no more grapes, and there was no young man sleeping on the couch under the trellis. The Qinhuai River was cold, and Mochou was crying. Luo Lingyu stood on a high building, on the city wall.
She saw the lights burning brightly till dawn, and every night;
After a while, I saw the snow all over the place and the world was quiet and peaceful.
This is a world without Lu Yun. Either he has gone to the border, or he is dead. She doesn't know.
Luo Lingyu just, just... She lived in a busy place, and there was not a day that she didn't think of him.
Sometimes she lived in a mansion, sometimes she walked in a narrow alley. Her face was calm, but her heart was full of weeds, and she missed someone madly. People who no longer existed in her memory and who had died should be slowly forgotten and walked out of her life. But he didn't. She always remembered him, and the better she lived, the more a bloody hole appeared in her heart, and the hole became bigger and bigger, and the more blood flowed.
The emptiness in the heart cannot be filled by external things. Maybe you would be happy without a heart, but after having a heart, it is sealed again, which is always more painful.
…
It was before the hour of Yin in the morning, and the sky was gray. In the tent, Luo Lingyu fell out of her dream. She was sweating, and her eyes were swollen from crying all night. Combing her long hair with her fingers, the girl sat in the plum blossom tent with her legs bent and sobbing. She cried too much, and her eyes were dry and uncomfortable. The beauty who loved beauty knew that she would definitely not be able to go out in her current state.
Luo Lingyu pushed aside the curtains, lit the lamp, sat cross-legged on the table, and found the letter that Lu Yun had written to her last night, which she had originally intended to burn. Her long black hair was loose, and her thin summer clothes vaguely revealed her good figure with thin shoulders and waist. The girl leaning over the table had a pink face. There were some tears on the letter paper, and she patiently read his letter again.
It's just a normal question, like chatting about family matters.
Lu Yun asked her: "What did you eat last night? Did you vomit? Did you sleep well at night? Did you get up at night? Are you in a good mood? Did you get angry?"
"The crabapple blossoms aren't blooming very well. They're not as good as you in taking care of them. You move over here and take care of the flowers."
"Has anyone ever bullied you or made you angry? You shouldn't be malicious, but you don't have to put yourself in a difficult position either. If someone bullies you, just go find King Chen and he will take care of you."
A northern leaf was also enclosed in the letter so that she would recall the memory of the deceased.
Although he wrote so many words to her because he mistakenly thought she was pregnant, he was really good when he was gentle. Looking at the letter, I could imagine the warmth in his eyes; it was as if he and she were kissing each other, tenderly and affectionately.
Luo Lingyu curled her lips quietly, reading the letter happily, no longer listening to Lu Erlang's confusion and uneasiness after the dream.
She had no intention of replying to Lu Yun, thinking that she would give him a surprise when she went to Nanyang and ask him about her pregnancy in person. Luo Lingyu now thought that Lu Erlang had explained everything clearly, and he did not blame her for her doubts about Lu Yun, but they were just doubts. She told Lu Xian that she wanted to go to Nanyang, and it was more because she missed Lu Yun.
She thought she really liked this man, and when he was not in her dreams, she couldn't even shed tears.
I feel it is meaningless to cry to another man or other people.
The girl lay down, sharpened the inkstone and picked up the brush, pondering for a long time, and the ink fell on the paper like bamboo tears. Tears welled up in her eyes again, but Luo Lingyu held them back, and after thinking for a long time, she just wrote a few words:
"I miss you day and night.
Winter is long and summer is short, paper cannot express it. "
When she picked up the pen, she had already made a decision. She didn't want to leave him, and she didn't want to give up on him just because she thought he would die. She had chosen many men to be her husband, but the one she loved most in her heart was only Lu Yun. She was still in the most beautiful and ambiguous period of love, still guessing each other's hearts, still afraid that he would not marry her... How could she give up?
After writing these words, the girl suddenly felt relieved. She didn't sleep well the previous night, and she was a little sleepy now.
…
At the beginning of September, Prince Hengyang was appointed a general by the court and went to Yingchuan County for his appointment.
It is a pity that Liu Mu did not help Lu Xian to join the army.
First, the Lu family never agreed to send both of their sons to the battlefield. The blood of the direct line and the collateral line is different, and the Lu family's little son is only a concubine's son and has not grown up yet. The left prime minister Lu Mao, who always does whatever his son likes, did not help his son this time. Liu Mu was active again, and the Lu family did not agree, and Liu Mu had no choice;
Second, Luo Lingyu and Lu Xian said that Lu Sanlang was so smart that ordinary reasons were not enough to make him die. If Lu Erlang dreamed of his death twice, if the first time was because the court wanted him to die, since things would not change, then it is not known that the second time was also because of problems with the court. If something happened to the court, it would be better for Lu Erlang to stay in Jianye than to go to Nanyang to protect his brother.
Lu Xian...was successfully persuaded by Luo Lingyu.
Since his cousin helped him make plans, he felt that his dreams were not so confusing anymore.
At Luo Lingyu's request, Lu Xian asked Liu Mu for help with an awkward heart, asking Liu Mu to take his cousin away with him. He hoped that after Liu Mu arrived in Yingchuan, he would have someone send his cousin to Nanyang. After all, Yingchuan is not far from Nanyang. When Lu Xian asked this, he felt a little awkward because he didn't want the King of Hengyang to have anything to do with his cousin.