Chapter 37
The food had long since gone cold, and Chen He ate very slowly, completely unaware of the awkward atmosphere, or rather, not caring at all.
Chen Yuchuan sat next to him, one arm casually draped over the back of Shen He's chair, leaning back with an arrogant and obviously aggressive posture, his eyes filled with disdain and hostility.
His mother put down her chopsticks, adjusted her posture slightly, and said in a gentle but measured voice, "Xiao Chuan."
Chen Yuchuan raised an eyebrow, said nothing, but looked at her with a scrutinizing gaze.
“We’d like to speak with Xiaohe alone,” she said calmly. “Is that alright?”
Chen Yuchuan leaned forward slightly and said casually, "Of course not."
Five words, crisp and decisive, leaving no room for negotiation.
His father turned to Chen Yuchuan and said gently, "Xiaochuan, we are Xiaohe's parents."
Chen Yuchuan ignored him, only letting out a disdainful snort.
The atmosphere was a little awkward.
Zhou Wen sat to the side, his expression still calm, but he tapped his fingers lightly on the table, as if considering whether to speak up and soften the tone. He looked at Shen He, trying to find some reaction on his face, but only saw the usual calm and aloofness.
Shen He found this somewhat amusing.
He turned his head and glanced at Chen Yuchuan's "no one can touch my brother" attitude, then reached out and patted him on the shoulder.
"You and Zhou Wen go out first," Shen He said calmly. "I'm fine."
Chen Yuchuan turned to look at him, a hint of doubt flashing in his eyes, and asked, "Are you sure?"
Shen He didn't speak again, but just kept looking at him calmly with that indifferent gaze.
The two stared at each other for a few seconds. Chen Yuchuan stood up, snorted coldly, and looked at Zhou Wen in a rather impolite tone: "I have something to discuss with you."
Zhou Wen stood up, straightened his clothes, nodded slightly to Shen He's parents with impeccable manners, and then turned to Chen Yuchuan with a mocking smile. The two of them walked out of the private room one after the other.
Shen He put down his chopsticks, and his mother took a deep breath, her expression softening: "Xiao He, I know it might have been a bit rash of us to ask Zhou Wen to help us make an appointment today, but we really want to have a good talk with you."
Shen He's voice was calm: "Perfect timing, I also have a lot to say to you."
Shen He sat there, his fingers gently stroking the rim of his teacup, as if pondering where to begin.
“As you know, I’ve always been a soft-hearted person since I was a child.” He spoke softly, “Whenever I see those weak, pitiful, and helpless lives…” He paused, “I feel so sad that I can’t breathe, and sometimes I can’t help but want to cry.”
He smiled, as if he were discussing a complete stranger.
"Back then, I always felt that this reaction was shameful and not manly enough."
Shen's mother's eyes reddened slightly as she recalled the child who would clench his fists and hold back tears while watching animal shows.
"Then you told me that this means I have a tender heart, and that this tenderness is precious and should be preserved."
"Actually, thinking about it now, my personality isn't strange at all." Shen He's gaze was filled with nostalgia. "Because you are all like that, and I've been watching you all since I was a child."
Shen He looked at his father, his tone becoming more relaxed: "Dad, are you still in contact with that student of yours, Sister Liu?"
Mr. Shen was taken aback for a moment: "She went abroad last year and even called me specifically. I heard she has a very good job."
"That's good." Shen He nodded. "I've always remembered that incident. You even used your grandfather's connections to drive all night and chase after them halfway, stopping them from the wedding car."
"Later, she knelt at our door and cried. I saw that her fingernails were full of mud and blood." He said calmly. "You help her up and tell her that everyone has the right to choose their own life. I've remembered that sentence for a long time."
Father Shen's fingers trembled slightly.
"Mom, those premature twins."
Mother Shen's expression changed: "Xiao He..."
“They could have been saved.” Shen He’s voice was gentle but firm. “But their ignorant parents were worried that the rescue would deplete their savings, so they chose to give up.”
"Xiaohe, that's enough." Mother Shen's voice began to tremble.
“You cried a lot after you got back, and I cried with you in my arms.” Shen He continued, “You said that in the incubator, their hearts were still beating until the very last second, even though they were just born and knew nothing, they were still desperately fighting for the hope of survival.”
He paused for a moment, as if sighing: "I felt incredibly lucky back then because I had parents like you. But I was also deeply moved by the tenacity and struggle of life, so whenever I see the misfortune of other lives, I always feel very sad, even though I'm trying my best to restrain myself."
He paused for a few seconds, and when he spoke again, he breathed a sigh of relief, as if he had been relieved.
"But later I discovered that kindness has boundaries, compassion can be selective, and life is defined by humans."
Father Shen finally spoke: "Xiaohe, about that matter..."
“Dad, I’m not bringing up the past.” Shen He interrupted him calmly. “I was too extreme and impulsive back then, and I didn’t explain things clearly to you. I just wanted to find a way out of all this chaotic thoughts, so I chose to leave.”
His gaze returned to the shimmering water in the teacup:
"After thinking about it for a long time, I realized that humans are actually the least deserving of sympathy in the world."
Mother Shen's face turned pale in an instant.
"Humans can arbitrarily decide the survival of other lives for their own convenience, preferences, emotions, or momentary impulses," Shen He said softly, but each word was clear. "And often without remorse, they even take it for granted."
“Little River…” Mother Shen’s voice trembled slightly.
“I didn’t understand before why humans were so arrogant.” He looked at them calmly. “But now I understand, because humans are entitled to be arrogant. It’s your right, and it’s your choice.”
Shen's mother wanted to say something, but Shen He gently shook his head.
“Mom, I’m not blaming you,” he said. “I just can’t accept it.”
He didn't say anything more, but those unspoken words hung in the air, heavier than any accusation.
"Xiaohe, it was Dad's fault," Father Shen said, his voice low and hoarse.
Shen He looked at him with gentle eyes: "In your view, it's not actually wrong."
"But in your heart, we were wrong."
"As for me..." Shen He thought for a moment, "I don't really care anymore. I'm fine now, doing what I like, not needing to communicate with too many people, and not caring about people's thoughts and opinions."
He said in a relaxed tone, "Those things that used to make me sad no longer affect me. I will no longer dwell on the right and wrong of human behavior, because it is meaningless to me."
Finally, tears streamed down Chen's mother's face: "Xiaohe, I'm sorry. We really..."
Shen He sat down next to her, cupped her face in his hands, and gently wiped away her tears with his fingertips.
Chen's mother stared blankly at her son, a strange and indescribable feeling of unfamiliarity suddenly welling up in her heart.
Her little river has really grown up.
His gaze toward her was still clear and gentle, but there was no extra emotion in his eyes. He looked much more composed and cold.
“Dad, Mom, you don’t need to apologize to me.” Shen He’s voice was calm and firm. “I will always remember everything you have done for me.”
“From childhood to adulthood, you have given me the best of everything.” His gaze fell on his parents’ faces, earnest and firm. “I know you love me, you love me with all your might.”
"You are the best parents in the world. That has never changed in my heart."
"What you think deserves an apology for is not the same thing that I feel I need to apologize for. I cannot accept it on your behalf."
He paused.
"Let's consider this meal as a way for us to clear things up," Shen He said. "From now on, you have your lives, and I have mine. It's fine if we meet occasionally."
When he stepped out of the private room, only Chen Yuchuan was waiting outside.
He leaned against the corridor wall, his face full of worry. When he saw Shen He come out, he immediately stood up straight and carefully examined his face, as if to make sure he hadn't suffered any injustice.
Shenhe's phone vibrated.
He glanced down and saw it was an apology from Zhou Wen.
Shen He quickly typed a few words on the screen: "Don't send me these messages, you haven't done anything to wrong me."
He looked at Chen Yuchuan, his tone calm and without any formality: "Since you have a car, why don't you take my parents to the airport?"
Chen Yuchuan paused for a moment, then nodded: "Okay."
The car was quiet.
Shen's mother held Shen He's hand, tears streaming down her face. Shen He didn't say anything, but pulled her into his arms.
Chen Yuchuan drove, glanced at the car through the rearview mirror a few times, and finally turned off the loud music.
Upon arriving at the airport, Chen Yuchuan tactfully distanced himself from the three people.
Shen He helped his parents with their luggage. His mother stood in front of him, her eyes red and swollen, her lips trembling slightly. She wanted to say something, but couldn't get the words out.
Shenhe looked at her, sighed softly, opened his arms, and embraced his mother.
"Mom, don't cry, it's bad for your eyes." His voice was very soft.
Unable to hold back any longer, Shen's mother hugged her son's shoulders and wept silently. Her hands gripped Shen He's clothes tightly, as if afraid that if she let go, he would disappear.
Shen He gently patted her back, his movements tender and restrained.
After a while, he released his mother and turned to his father.
Shen's father looked at him, his eyes also reddening.
He opened his mouth, but in the end he only said one sentence: "Xiaohe, take good care of yourself."
Shen He nodded and stepped forward to hug his father: "You too."
“We…we’re waiting for you to come back.” His voice was choked with emotion.
Shenhe didn't answer, but simply let go of her hand and took a step back.
He stood there, watching his parents drag their suitcases into the security checkpoint. Their figures gradually disappeared into the crowd. Shenhe stood there, watching, until they were no longer visible.
On the way back, Chen Yuchuan gripped the steering wheel, glancing occasionally at Chen He in the passenger seat.
Shen He leaned back in his seat, gazing out the window, his silence almost unnerving. It wasn't a quiet repose, but a complete isolation, as if he had returned to that frozen river.
Chen Yuchuan frowned.
This feeling is so familiar, exactly the same as when they reunited. Shenhe had finally gained some popularity during this time, but after this meal, it's all gone back to normal.
Chen Yuchuan scratched his hair in frustration, feeling that he hadn't beaten Zhou Wen enough.
He cleared his throat and deliberately spoke in a light tone: "Hey, I had nowhere to go for Chinese New Year this year, so I came to your house. You have to take me in."
Shen He turned his head to look at him, remained silent for a few seconds, wondering how Chen Yuchuan's thoughts could be so scattered.
“My home is my dorm.” His voice was calm. “Are you sure?”
Chen Yuchuan tightened his grip on the steering wheel.
He then realized that the conversation just now was not a reconciliation at all.
"Damn it." Chen Yuchuan cursed under his breath, then resumed his nonchalant attitude. "So what? I have plenty of houses. Wherever you want to live, that's our home."
Shen He looked at him, a slight smile curving his lips. It was faint, but he was definitely smiling.
“Okay,” he said.
Chen Yuchuan finally breathed a sigh of relief.
The car was parked at the entrance of the base.
The two got out of the car and walked inside side by side. After a few steps, Chen Yuchuan suddenly stopped.
Shenhe also stopped and turned to look at him.
Chen Yuchuan looked worried and somewhat uneasy: "Um..."
He paused, then looked at Chen He: "If you're feeling stifled, I wouldn't mind giving you a hug."
Shen He stared at him for a few seconds, then said in a flat tone, "I mind."
"Alright, alright, never mind." Chen Yuchuan waved his hand.
But the next second, he stepped forward, opened his arms, and forcefully hugged Shenhe into his embrace.
They were holding each other very tightly.
Shen He was stunned for a moment, his body instantly stiffening.
"What's gotten into you now—"
"It's just a hug, is it going to kill you?" Chen Yuchuan interrupted him, his voice low. "Just think of it as me being a little pent up, and comfort me a bit, okay?"
Shen He didn't say anything more, just stood there, letting Chen Yuchuan hold him.
After a few seconds, he sighed, his body gradually relaxed, and he raised his hand to gently hug Chen Yuchuan.
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