Looking back
Stepping out of the venue, the night wind of Lancheng carried the mixed smells of city exhaust fumes and street food. Chen Yuchuan took a breath and breathed a sigh of relief: "Finally out. Going back to the base and playing training matches all day was worse than being locked up for three days."
Shen He glanced at him: "You came here just to complain?"
"Complaining is just a side thing," Chen Yuchuan replied quickly. "The main reason I came is to eat something good with you. The food I usually eat, tsk, doesn't even smell appetizing."
This young master always has meals prepared by chefs who perfectly suit his taste. Shen He was too lazy to expose him, and simply said, "It's on me today."
Chen Yuchuan tilted his head to look at him, raising an eyebrow: "Oh, brother, have a change of heart?"
"I'll treat you to a street food stall," Shen He replied expressionlessly.
They drove to an old night market street in the south of the city. A row of stalls squeezed on both sides of the narrow street, with steam, fumes, and noise mixed together. The ground was stained with oil, and vendors were shouting "Grilled squid, three skewers for ten yuan" in a mechanical accent through loudspeakers.
Shen He looked around and frowned almost imperceptibly. It was too noisy.
Chen Yuchuan was quite at ease; when he was allowed to choose his own path, he truly blended perfectly into the environment.
When he returned, he saw Shenhe still standing in the same spot from afar.
The hustle and bustle of people seemed to automatically shun him; his hands were in his coat pockets, and his expression was as calm as if he had nothing to do with it all.
Chen Yuchuan slowed his pace by two seconds, inexplicably feeling that he was a bit far away.
It's not that I'm standing far away, but that I'm very far away from myself, always very far away.
Even when the person is right in front of you, you can always easily slip away and leave without a trace.
He composed himself, shook off that inexplicable emotion, took a few steps closer, forcefully breaking the atmosphere, and grinned smugly: "What? Do I have to be careful what you say when I invite you to dinner?"
"I'm afraid you'll get food poisoning again," Shen He said calmly.
"Didn't you choose the location? I thought you had done your research beforehand."
"No, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision."
"That's pretty much up to fate." Chen Yuchuan glanced at him again, seemingly casually saying, "How about we take it to go? Let's find a quiet place to eat; it's so noisy here, I can't stand it."
They walked a few hundred meters outside, found a convenience store, bought some drinks, and finally decided to pack them up and take them back to the hotel.
Half an hour later, the two sat at a small coffee table in the hotel room, with a pile of junk food in front of them that barely looked and smelled appetizing. Shen He sat on the sofa, picked up a piece of tofu and took a bite.
"It's not bad, is it?" Chen Yuchuan asked.
“You’ll know once you try it yourself,” Shen He replied.
Chen Yuchuan ate a few bites with him. The taste was actually okay, but the MSG and unknown seasonings were very strong. Shen He didn't used to like strong flavors.
He picked up a bottle of carbonated drink, took two sips, and looked up at Chen He, asking, "Tell me the truth, were you never really planning to treat me to anything good?"
Shen He ate very casually, saying, "You seem to mind quite a bit."
"It's not that I mind, it's just that you don't pick and choose, so I don't dare to pick and choose either."
"If you're picky, I'll stuff all of these into your mouth," Shen He said calmly.
"Fine, I'll shut up." Chen Yuchuan raised his hand. "Anyway, you're paying, so you can eat whatever you like."
Shen He smiled. In the past, he would have treated Chen Yuchuan to a nice meal. But now he doesn't pick and choose what he eats. He can eat anything. If he likes it, he'll eat more; if he doesn't, he'll eat less. All he has left is this signing bonus, which isn't a small amount, but he doesn't plan to spend it all.
His parents had been transferring money to his original account, a lot of it. In his last phone call back, he only said one sentence, "Don't call again, I won't use it anymore." He also threw the card away.
So for now, let's just live a simple life of self-reliance. If Chen Yuchuan wants to follow him, then he'll have to make do with what he has to eat.
Chen He was too lazy to think about these things anymore, so he casually turned on the TV. The sports channel was broadcasting the post-match interviews for this game.
The player being interviewed this time was FLG's ADC. The host exchanged a few pleasantries with a smile and then asked about his feelings about the bot lane matchup.
The veteran ADC thought for a moment and said, "Normal laning, nothing special, the opponent is quite stable."
Neither praising nor criticizing, but something just didn't feel right. Chen Yuchuan leaned back on the sofa and rolled his eyes: "If the jungler doesn't come, you can still dominate him, and he still has the nerve to say 'normal laning'?"
"Normal laning?" Chen Yuchuan mimicked the other person's tone and said disdainfully, "Fine, this guy can play normal laning no matter who he's playing against."
Shen He said calmly, "He's not wrong either."
"You actually agree?"
"I did play against him normally in lane, and he's pretty strong."
Chen Yuchuan glanced at him, as if he wanted to say something, but then swallowed it back and just continued to unpack the drink in his hand.
The camera cuts to the ASG coaching staff.
The coach spoke calmly and confidently: "Our main problems lie in mid-game resource allocation and vision coordination, and teamwork definitely needs improvement. We will make targeted adjustments in training. The team has new members, and it will take time to integrate them."
"It's really stupid. What else can they do besides reading from a script?" Chen Yuchuan complained.
Shen He nodded; that was the truth.
Zhou Yifan's interview followed immediately, and he spoke in a low voice: "The problem with the rhythm today was my fault, especially in the second set when I hesitated, which affected the team's vision setup and the advance in the lower half of the map." He added, "My teammates all played very well."
"Sigh." Chen Yuchuan sighed, "These guys are all so good at talking. They didn't play well in the game, but their speeches were so official that you couldn't find fault with them."
"You think everyone is like you?" Shen He didn't even bother to retort.
After the interview, the camera switched back to the replay of the match and the warm-up for the next game. Shen He wasn't very interested and rested on the sofa after eating and drinking his fill.
Chen Yuchuan looked down at his phone and typed for a while.
"What are you doing again?" Shen He asked.
"Let me share some thoughts." Chen Yuchuan said in a relaxed tone, "Today isn't a 'brothers' reunion,' it's the first time I've watched my 'dream ADC' play live, so I have to commemorate it."
"Stop being disgusting all the time." Shen He frowned.
“Just post some everyday things,” Chen Yuchuan said, waving his phone screen. “You can see for yourself.”
The Weibo post consisted of only one sentence:
I had the pleasure of sitting down for a meal with the player I consider the best. (Yellow face)
The post also included several photos, including pictures of the competition venue, Styx name tags, and the last photo of a pile of junk food and beverage cans on the coffee table in the hotel room.
The last wave of insults was completely forgotten in just a few days, and the comment section was now peaceful. Shenhe couldn't help but sigh that human emotions of anger and resentment always come and go quickly.
Wow, this looks so delicious!! When will it be my turn to have the honor of dining with you!!!
[Keep streaming and engaging; if it weren't for the ongoing competition, I would have thought I was a fan of a dead person.]
[I've posted two this week, that's rare... (By the way, did the last one count as promotional content? I guess so)]
【Huh?! Didn't you just finish a match?! Why are you flying to Lancheng?!】
[Is "the strongest ADC"... a veiled reference to his recent interview comment about his mediocre laning phase?]
[It felt like the interview with that AD from FLG just now, hahaha]
[Is this a good place to ship them? Didn't someone post a screenshot of him appearing in the audience at Lancheng Stadium? I thought it was fake.]
[For a split second when the camera panned across you, I wasn't even sure it was you. Turns out you really did come to watch the Styx match??]
[You just finished a match, flew over to watch the game, and then had a junk food dinner with someone... This guy seems to have a thing for you.]
Shen He glanced at him: "Why did you post this?"
Chen Yuchuan chuckled: "Nothing much, I'm just excited to have met my idol and want to show off a little."
"I feel like your sarcastic remarks about other contestants will drag me down with you."
"I didn't say anything about him," Chen Yuchuan said dismissively. "Besides, I said he's the strongest in my heart. Why do you care what others think?"
"Isn't the strongest person in your heart yourself?"
"...Why should we distinguish between you and me, brothers?"
“Hypocritical,” Shen He uttered indifferently.
Chen Yuchuan leaned back on the sofa: "If you don't like it, I'll delete it."
Shen He looked down and scrolled through the comments section. "Whatever."
Chen Yuchuan truly lives up to his reputation as a top player in the league. The comment section was bustling with activity, with one comment after another flooding in. Most of them were young girls with their own set of emojis, chatting and making jokes that seemed to come from nowhere.
Some say it was love at first sight, others say rivals turned lovers, and still others are criticizing Chen Yuchuan, telling him not to be someone's unrequited lapdog. Some are even spreading rumors about their daily interactions.
Shen He had thought he would find these comments annoying, but he didn't find them bothersome at all.
These girls are a bit like... little animals that have just opened their eyes. They are interested in everything and can think for a long time about the slightest interaction. Even if it is all based on imagination, they can still create a complete script.
He didn't want to smile, but the corner of his mouth still twitched involuntarily.
He tossed his phone back on the table, leaned back on the sofa, and casually asked, based on the comments, "Why do they all know you're shameless and keep bothering me every day?"
Chen Yuchuan was indeed shameless: "I'm just responding to my fans' expectations."
"Your response was quite comprehensive."
"Look at what they said in the comments. If I don't post about my daily life, it's like I'm dead."
Shenhe instructed him, "Keep sending messages, don't let people think you're really dead."
After eating and drinking their fill, the two went out for a walk.
The night was quiet here, the streetlights casting a soft yellow glow, and a few convenience stores were still lit occasionally. The night breeze made people sleepy, and Shen He, having drunk some beverage, felt bloated, so he simply took a walk in silence. Chen Yuchuan seemed to want to say something along the way, but he didn't speak, and Shen He didn't bother to ask.
It was almost 11 o'clock when I got back downstairs at the hotel.
As Shenhe entered the room, he habitually told him, "Get some rest early, or you'll look half-dead again tomorrow."
To everyone's surprise, the person behind him followed in without saying a word, plopped down on the sofa, and looked as relaxed as if he were at home.
Shen He turned to look at him: "You can't even afford a hotel anymore, can you?"
Chen Yuchuan leaned back on the sofa with an air of self-righteousness, his tone lazy: "It's not that I can't afford a room, it's just that it's too late and I couldn't book one at the last minute. Your bed is so big, just make do for one night."
Shen He ignored him, turned around and went into the bathroom, saying as he took off his coat, "Last time I slept with you at your house for one night, didn't you look reluctant?"
The person at the bathroom door paused, as if stumped by the question.
Shen He didn't hear a response, so he slowed down his handwashing and glanced at him through the mirror.
Chen Yuchuan remained seated, his face expressionless, but his eyes darted around as if he were quickly recalling what he had done last time.
“I was just respecting your personal space.” He coughed, his tone unreadable, “I didn’t want to disturb you.”
"Aren't you afraid this time?"
"Since you invited me this time, I'll reluctantly accept."
Did I invite you?
"The fact that you didn't kick me out is also a form of tacit agreement."
This guy's skin is so thick that Chen He has nothing to say.
After washing up, the two lay on the same bed again. The bed was a bit hard, and Shen He felt a little strange. Last time, they hadn't even said a word to each other, so how did they end up sleeping together like they were old friends?
"Why are you getting more and more frugal?" Chen Yuchuan interrupted his thoughts. "You used to treat me to meals at Michelin-starred restaurants, but now you eat whatever you want and stay in these run-down hotels booked by the team."
Shen He asked him, "Would you like to pay?"
"I was just asking," Chen Yuchuan chuckled. "But it's only right to spend money on your brothers, okay? I'll have someone order it right away." As he spoke, he actually took out his phone and made a call to arrange it.
Chen He told him to calm down, so he turned off the TV and adjusted the air conditioner temperature.
The room was quiet for a while.
As the lights fell, Chen Yuchuan saw the elegant lines of Shen He's profile, but his eyes were as calm as a still pond. Even though he was right beside him, Chen Yuchuan felt as if many years had passed between them.
He looked at the sunken river and suddenly said:
"You left suddenly that year."
There was no reaction after it was submerged in the river.
Chen Yuchuan's tone was very calm, as if he were just chatting casually: "I remember the day before you were sitting with me in an internet cafe talking about going abroad, and the next day you just disappeared. You didn't reply to my messages, you blocked my phone number, and you haven't logged into your game account since."
Shen He tossed his phone back onto the sofa, seemingly lost in thought: "There's nothing to say."
“If you found it annoying that I forced you to make choices back then, you could have said so.” Chen Yuchuan’s tone was no longer relaxed. “I really wasn’t good at getting along with people back then. Thinking about it now, being my brother must have been quite tiring for you.”
Shen He turned his head to look at him, his eyes seemingly smiling: "What nonsense are you talking about?"
"Then why exactly?"
The air was still for a few seconds.
Shen He looked up at a corner of the ceiling and said in a barely inflected voice, "I just want to live in a different place."
"You're being far too heartless," Chen Yuchuan sighed, trying to smile. "After you left, I thought I had done something to offend you badly."
"It's not because of you."
"But you didn't even leave me an explanation."
Shen He stared at him for two seconds and said, "If I told you, you would stop me."
"...How do you know I would interfere with your choices?"
"Tell me, were you that kind of person back then?"
Chen Yuchuan paused for a moment. Although he was now pretending to be a normal person, back then, if he hadn't thought Shen He hated him, he really wouldn't have let Shen He leave his side.
Shen He adjusted his sleeping position and said no more. He wasn't the type to look back, nor did he like to explain too much, and he wasn't good at handling the emotions of "reunion after a long separation."
When he withdrew at that time, it was just an attempt to find a clear path out of the chaos. He didn't think he had done anything wrong; he just felt it wasn't appropriate to say goodbye and didn't want to take anything with him or leave anything behind.
Chen Yuchuan didn't press further. He just glanced at the night outside the window and, after a few seconds, said lightly, "If I had asked you earlier... I wouldn't have waited all these years for nothing."
There was no response from Chenhe; it's unclear whether he heard it or not.
The room fell silent.
The unspoken words, like the darkness of night, permeated the air, contained within each person's breath.
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