Extra Chapter: Jiangchuan Trip
Squatting beside the fire, this is a perfect place to tell stories.
Jiang Chuan was reading a book when the Earl shamelessly begged him to tell a story to match the fairytale-like atmosphere. Unfortunately, Jiang Chuan was a blockhead and couldn't utter a single word for a long time.
They failed to meet the Earl's admiring gaze.
Jiang Chuan remained silent for a long time before getting up to pour himself a drink. The Earl had known Jiang Chuan for so long, and this was the first time he'd ever seen him drink.
It wasn't the kind of red wine befitting a CEO; it was just ordinary canned beer.
Pull the tab and the beer bubbles rise.
Jiang Chuan didn't drink the wine; he just watched. The light from the fire shone through the pull ring, revealing the shimmering surface of the lake inside.
I haven't even had a drink yet, but I already feel like I'm drunk.
Humans are shaped from countless fragments of the past.
Jiang Chuan's memories of what he experienced in his previous life were somewhat hazy, but that was just self-deception.
Life and existence are never as inspiring or dramatic as movies and TV shows. Compared to those positive and uplifting works of art, Jiang Chuan's self-assessment is more like that of... the audience of "Manchester by the Sea".
That day on the mountaintop, watching the sun illuminate the golden mountains, the magnificent hope gradually unfolding across the world was truly beautiful.
He had never traveled this far in his previous life.
Jiang Chuanxing is a typical example of someone who struggled his way from a small county town to a big city.
After finishing junior high school, no one supported him to stay in school. Although he left school, Yu Jiangchuan still maintained a learning mindset.
Society is also a school.
You learn a lot in society: interpersonal skills, how to protect yourself from harm, how to please others to gain resources, how to provide positive emotional value to others, and so on.
He was like a roadside weed, unnoticed by anyone, enduring storms and hardships, yet still thriving.
To be alive is the greatest hymn to life.
Jiang Chuanxing is an optimist, for a simple reason: if he hadn't tried to think positively during those difficult years of his youth, he wouldn't have made it this far.
The awkward, sincere, and headstrong adolescence is present in every young person.
But Jiang Chuanxing did not.
He was very busy, busy surviving and busy filling his stomach. Because it was still considered child labor at that time, he could only work as an apprentice, and was provided with one lunch a day.
To save two yuan on bus fare, he would walk more than forty minutes back home, just in time to catch the last of the fried noodles at the stall. The owner was about to close up shop, so he generously cooked all the remaining ingredients for Jiang Chuanxing.
It was a quiet, unassuming act of kindness.
Jiang Chuanxing learned about this at that time, and has always been very grateful for these acts of kindness that appeared in his life.
When teenagers are growing, they have a big appetite and get hungry quickly. After a long day of work, they look forward to having a good meal of fried noodles in the evening so they can get a full meal and a good night's sleep.
Sometimes, however, when they encounter the urban management officers, they inevitably end up putting on a funny show.
The boy, holding a bowl, ran alongside the owner of the fried noodle stall, eating as he went. He didn't really understand why he, as a customer, was running, but he just kept running.
I simply felt from the bottom of my heart that I should return the bowl to the boss after I finished eating.
That's when I started to like games.
That was the lowest-cost form of entertainment in Jiang Chuanxing's busy life. He would usually stop occasionally at the arcade machines on the street to watch other people his age play.
He was in charge of getting the game for free, watching from the sidelines and imagining how he would play if he were the one doing the controls.
Others found him annoying, but Jiang Chuan would just smile sheepishly and return to his work.
After leaving the repair shop, Jiang Chuan did many things to make a living.
He had no formal education and was too young, so he could only do part-time jobs, such as handing out flyers and wearing mascot costumes. These fragmented part-time jobs filled the gap between his 16 and 20 years old.
Later, I also worked in an electronics factory.
It was through hard work in the electronics factory that he finally saved up enough money for a trip to a distant place and his first mobile phone.
They headed north to work their way up in big cities.
When a small town first arrives in a big city, it's always a bit unsettling. Whether it's their own perception or their own understanding, the impact of such prosperity is unimaginable.
Jiang Chuanxing had nothing; he had nothing, but he was ambitious.
The reason I came here is simple: I'm not here to make money, I'm just here to see—I'm here for my dream.
There are no game companies in small cities.
The various twists and turns and hardships involved need not be mentioned, but in the end, they obtained the passport to their dreams.
For Jiang Chuan, these were all distant stories. Just like the beginning of this story, he could even deceive himself in his dreams to prevent himself from recalling these events.
Unlike these past behind-the-scenes stories, the ending of Jiang Chuan's life—or rather, Jiang Chuan's journey—has become increasingly clear and distinct over time.
During Jiang Chuanxing's routine company physical examination, some unpleasant findings were discovered. Further investigation confirmed the diagnosis.
He is sick.
Having lost his ability to work, and being a useless person with no value in modern society, Jiang Chuanxing was unsurprisingly fired by the company.
Of course, out of humanitarian concern, he received a substantial financial compensation, as well as donations from his colleagues.
In addition, medical insurance will reimburse a portion of the costs, so this money seems like it can last for a long time.
Jiang Chuanxing's optimism has always been able to defeat the whole world; otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to survive so many years and such hardships.
However, the prolonged torment of illness is not something that can be overcome simply by bracing oneself for the moment. To this day, Jiang Chuan can no longer remember what illness he had; he only knows that when the pain struck, it hurt everywhere.
The memory of the pain is also vague, but the memory of the treatment process is still clear.
While waiting for chemotherapy, Jiang Chuanxing would glance into another ward and see a patient suffering in the same pain, but with someone offering comfort and care.
Sometimes he would think that it would be great if his parents were still alive, but even in his imagination he didn't know what kind of face to put on.
My parents passed away early, and there wasn't a single photo left in the house.
The house where Jiang Chuanxing lived with his grandmother was bare, with nothing on the walls. His grandmother used to live there, but…
He snapped out of his reverie, and Jiang Chuanxing realized that the image of himself sitting alone on a hospital bench must be quite mysterious, more like an uninvited visitor than a patient.
Although he has worked in this city for many years, he spends all his time at the company except when he is sleeping, and his social circle is also confined to the small space of the company.
I have no friends, no family, and no relatives.
Loneliness is a normal part of life.
Jiang Chuanxing continues to live his life to the fullest, spending money on chemotherapy, taking his medication on time, maintaining a positive attitude, and resolutely trying to save himself.
If I had to use a picture as a metaphor...
It must be a person about to be dragged into the abyss, reaching out and shaking his hand desperately, because that's all he has left to speak to the outside world.
The scene is somewhat comical. So, is he waving goodbye to the world, or is he constantly calling for help?
No one knows the answer.
But at Jiang Chuanxing's place, someone held his hand at this moment—it was himself, who resolutely dragged himself out piece by piece.
The abyss is not inescapable—death is inescapable.
Once you get here, you can neither advance nor retreat, nor turn left nor right; you are eternally trapped in this space.
Everyone else is moving forward, including those colleagues I keep in touch with and occasionally ask how they are doing.
The only one who remains stagnant and unable to move forward is oneself.
There are also some fellow sufferers in this world.
Outside the hospital specializing in treating this type of illness, there was an anti-cancer kitchen. Jiang Chuanxing never imagined that his first genuine attempt to expand his social circle would be in such a place.
After being fired from the company, I had no stable source of income and could only do some part-time jobs, such as working as a kitchen helper in an anti-cancer kitchen.
People in similar circumstances find solace in each other in a small corner of this world.
The warmth from the outside world is also present; this kitchen often receives gifts from kind-hearted people, and the daily necessities of life appear in a different form, instantly shedding all the mundane aspects of its existence.
This place became a new destination in Jiangchuan's life.
After all these years of ups and downs, I've come back to where I started: back then, I knew nothing and worked as a kitchen helper for the restaurant owner.
It seems like everything has changed, yet it also seems like nothing has changed at all.
However, his body couldn't withstand the workload of part-time jobs he could handle during his youth, and his family's savings eventually dwindled—of course, he could still afford to eat.
The regulars in the kitchen were very friendly to him.
It's just the cost of treatment.
Jiang Chuanxing went through a difficult psychological struggle for a long time before finally convincing himself to accept Waterdrop Crowdfunding.
But Waterdrop Crowdfunding has too little influence. In order to raise money for treatment, he would take his phone and squat next to McDonald's to use their Wi-Fi every morning after finishing helping out, and then forward Waterdrop Crowdfunding information in various groups.
Sometimes, if you're unlucky, you might get removed from the group chat by the group owner, or your account might be flagged as a "scammer" by the social media app and banned.
However, most of the time, they receive only sporadic donations.
Maybe things will get better in the future.
It's okay, it's okay, it will all pass.
Jiang Chuanxing finally realized that the present situation was beyond saving, and he had to shift his attention to the distant future in search of some hope.
What does it really mean when even the most optimistic people, focused on the present, turn their gaze to the future...?
During the period when he was raising funds through Waterdrop Crowdfunding, Jiang Chuanxing may have developed some psychological issues, but he didn't have the time or energy to examine himself. He just vaguely felt that there was a barrier between him and the world.
Nothing feels so real anymore.
Only when I'm very emotional do I experience severe stomach pain, and at that moment I feel like that membrane doesn't exist at all.
Occasionally, when he has a spare moment, he'll sneak in some time to play games and can't help but sigh at how many years he's worked at the game company. He's thirty-two now, so close to his dream, yet so far away.
The different game ideas that danced in my mind before sleep still lingered. No money was needed; they could be made running with just my imagination—even though it was so close.
With no money from crowdfunding, part-time jobs, or savings, Jiang Chuanxing, in a rare instance of irrationality, adopted a stray cat amidst such financial hardship.
He just thought that maybe if there was a creature, whatever it was, that could get closer to him, maybe that membrane would become much thinner.
It's true that fluffy things can heal the soul; the sudden appearance of a big black mouse-like cat in the kitchen is like something out of a fairy tale.
It brought some comfort to the gloomy residents here.
Without money, I could only go to the hospital for treatment sporadically. The pain was still there, and my body didn't recover because of these fairytale-like moments in life.
Jiang Chuanxing did not break down because of this terrible reality; he had gotten used to this life where each day felt like a year.
The last time I walked out of the hospital, exhausted both physically and mentally, was at dusk.
In summer, the sunset is late.
Jiang Chuanxing glanced at the time on his phone, then glanced at it again.
The latter "time" is a pronoun referring to the sky.
In the city, at least in the place where Jiang Chuanxing was, everything was so densely packed with tall buildings, mountains, and crowds that nothing could be seen. Perhaps it was because of his individual location that he seemed so insignificant.
Through the gaps in the building and the reflective glass, fragments of the sunset can be seen, but not all of them.
Jiang Chuanxing looked at the time again.
The third time, he looked at his own dwindling life.
Instead of going home, he made a decision.
A person born and raised inland decides to go and see a sunset on a relative plane.
Jiang Chuanxing is going to watch the sunset over the sea.
In his imagination, it should be as beautiful as it is in the documentary.
It's quite darkly humorous that, despite having the character "行" (xing, meaning "to travel") in his name, he has hardly ever been anywhere in his life.
That was Jiang Chuanxing's first and only, and perhaps last, act of youthful exuberance. At the age when he should have been young and carefree, he was forced to mature prematurely; now he was simply reliving the experience of being sixteen or seventeen.
I watched the sunset.
—He walked towards the sunset.
But it's okay, tomorrow at sunrise will be a new day.
“This is a very good story,” the count commented, then added, “We can go watch the sunrise together tomorrow.”
Jiang Chuan nodded. The beer had completely lost its fizz, and he took a sip to confirm that he was drunk.
Sunrise marks a new day, a new beginning.
Jiang Chuan wasn't very confident: "After watching the sunrise, I'll also go check out the company." It didn't matter if he didn't manage to do it, since he was drunk and it was just drunken talk, so it didn't count.
The Earl wagged his tail, ignoring the man's nonsense. He marveled at how complex humans truly were, because of these unspoken behind-the-scenes stories that made him seem so abnormal.
For example, Jiang Chuan always likes to come to the seaside very suddenly, or the final destination of every trip is the seaside, which can be roughly understood as a murderer returning to the scene.
Whom are you looking for when you revisit the seaside so many times?
For example, according to Jiang Chuan, why is it that even though he encountered so much kindness in his previous life, he is still struggling with himself and avoiding people in this life?
Why do you cherish your body like an ascetic, and why do you manage your time like someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder?
Everyone stays up late, but you don't dare stay up until the wee hours.
Humans are always prone to self-deception.
The story is enriched by these self-deceptions. Perhaps one day, we can truly face our past selves, our present selves, and our future selves with equanimity.
The letter said, "You don't have to be stuck here."
Every time I write a brilliant metaphor, I'm afraid the readers won't notice it, and since I can't hold back, I might as well mention it here.
I really liked the scenery description at the end of the main story.
This is because it also metaphorically represents Jiang Chuan himself. The first half of the description is pessimistic (the waves looking towards the sky but not being able to reach it), while the second half is optimistic (the cold mountains and the long sky share the colors of spring).
This will be my absolute favorite, bar none; the entire text is filled with stunning scenery descriptions!
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