Chapter 10 Master Lin, the Liar
Ever since Lin Yan's words "I'm used to it" left me speechless, I have finally faced the reality - trying to convince this hard and dull stone to fall in love openly is as difficult as asking me, a goblin, to fight a max-level boss alone.
Okay, let’s just use the toilet, and let’s do it secretly, it’s because...well, anyway, he is happy to do it this way, so it’s not that I can’t cooperate.
It is this process of cooperation that is full of ridiculous "surprises".
1. Calcium deficiency "teething period"
I have a problem with talking in my sleep. In the past, it was just gaming jargon or snack cravings like "Don't steal my pentakill!" or "Give me another bag of spicy noodles!"
After being with Lin Yan, his subconscious was probably filled with this kind of person, and the risk factor skyrocketed.
One night, according to the fourth brother's vivid description, the dormitory was silent except for the sound of snoring.
Suddenly, I shouted with full energy: "Lin Yan! Are you a dog? Don't bite my neck!" My voice was clear and loud, and my words were pronounced clearly.
The fourth brother and another brother woke up instantly. In the darkness, two pairs of eyes widened on their beds, staring at each other. The dead air was filled with silent cries of "What did I hear?!"
I was in a deep sleep, completely unconscious. However, Lin Yan beside me reacted very quickly.
Just as the fourth brother, stifling a laugh and clearing his throat, was about to start gossiping, Lin Yan's calm voice rang out in the darkness, with a touch of just the right amount of helplessness: "Chen Rui has been grinding his teeth quite a bit lately, and he's also been talking in his sleep. I've looked up some information and it might be due to stress or a calcium deficiency. I'm keeping a record of my observations."
He even turned on the flashlight on his cell phone (in low mode), and "observed" me in a serious manner, then pretended to write a few words on a notebook (God knows why he had a notebook and a pen under his pillow!).
The fourth brother: “…grinding teeth? And biting the neck?” His tone was full of suspicion, as if to say, “You keep making it up, keep making it up.”
Lin Yan pushed up his nonexistent glasses (he couldn't see clearly in the darkness) and said calmly, "Well, sleep talking is usually related to subconscious anxiety. He probably dreamed of being chased by a dog."
Another brother was trying so hard to hold back his laughter that the bed was shaking: "Pfft... this dog is quite fierce, it only bites the neck..."
I woke up the next day and had no idea what happened during the night. I just felt that the eyes of the fourth brother and another brother were looking at me with indescribable sympathy and...uncontrollable laughter?
Lin Yan calmly handed me a glass of milk and said, "Calcium supplement."
Me: “???” After I learned the truth, I just wanted to escape from the earth by train overnight.
2. The magic of pipette
As for Lin Yan, his possessiveness increased exponentially after confirming the relationship. Although he didn't show it on his face, his behavior was extremely "dog-like".
This manifested itself in the dormitory by marking my things as "sacred and inviolable."
The specific operation is as follows: He dug out the fine pipette with the smallest scale that he used for experiments from some corner (this thing was not taken away by the laboratory!).
Then, he would very covertly use a pipette to place a drop of his special (said to be sterile and odorless) marking liquid on the inside rim of the cup I was drinking water from.
In this way, he can tell at a glance if someone has touched my cup (God knows how he can tell the tiny changes in the liquid droplets!).
Once, another brother was thirsty, so he picked up the cup of water that had just been filled on my table and took a big sip.
Lin Yan was reading a document on his computer at the time. Without even looking up, he said calmly, "That's Chen Rui's cup."
The brother was stunned, looked at the cup, then looked at me: "Ah? Oh, it's okay, Brother Rui doesn't mind, right?"
I was just about to say, "It's okay, drink it," when Lin Yan had already stood up, smoothly took the cup, walked to the sink, turned on the faucet, and washed it inside and out with dishwashing liquid for a full three minutes! It was so clean and shiny!
Then he refilled the glass and put it back on my desk, his face expressionless the whole time.
That brother: “…” His expression looked like he had swallowed a fly alive.
Me: “…” I was so embarrassed that I dug my way out of the three-bedroom apartment with my toes, but I had to pretend to be calm: “Hey, he… he has advanced mysophobia, please understand, please understand.”
I was furiously complaining in my mind: Lin Yan, are you really that serious?! This is even more frustrating than just saying, "This is my wife's cup, don't touch it!" Is that how you use your pipette?!
Three: "Old Palace"
We often played games in a four-person team in our dorm. When I used the microphone, I would always call out to Lin Yan by his full name: "Lin Yan! To the left!" "Lin Yan, help me!" "Lin Yan, are you blind? That guy's right in your face!" It was simple and blunt.
It doesn't work now.
Every time before I start speaking, I take a deep breath and frantically search for safe words in my mind.
One time, in the heat of a fierce battle, I was double-teamed by three opponents. My health bar instantly dropped to the bottom. I was so scared that I subconsciously yelled into the microphone: "Husband, help me! Ahhhhhh!"
There was a sudden silence in the headphones.
My character in the game fell to the ground.
In reality, the dormitory was also dead silent.
The computer screens of the fourth brother and another brother turned gray instantly - they were probably so scared that their operations became distorted and they were killed instantly.
My brain buzzed and went blank.
It's over! It's completely over! I've fallen into the Pacific Ocean! I turned my neck stiffly and looked at Lin Yan beside me.
Lin Yan's screen was still on, and his character was calmly fighting three people at once.
He slowly pushed his glasses down (a gesture that now looked murderous to me), then spoke into the microphone in a very natural, even slightly puzzled tone: "Lao Gong? Chen Rui, that's the new support hero you're training? Is your skill a cry for help? The cooldown is pretty short."
He even added, "If you're dead, just revive quickly and stop shouting and making noise."
"Hahahahahahaha!" The earth-shaking laughter of the fourth brother and another brother broke out simultaneously in the headphones and in reality.
"Lao Gong! Hahahaha! Brother Rui, that's an awesome name!"
"I thought... Hahahaha! I was so scared! It turns out to be a new hero!"
"Lin Yan, you're so calm! Brother Rui's hoarse voice screaming for help is like a pig being slaughtered. It's so funny!"
I:"……"
After surviving the disaster, his back was soaked with cold sweat. Looking at Lin Yan's profile, which still had no expression but seemed to say "Brother helped you get back together, thank me quickly", his mood was so complicated that it was hard to describe.
What the hell is this new hero! What the hell is "Old Gong"! Lin Yan, it's a waste of your talent if you don't use your brain to write scripts!
4. Mite bites
Winter is here and I wear a turtleneck sweater.
This should be good news for underground lovers - a natural barrier to block certain "evidence".
However, at times, Lin Yan was a little... too involved.
Once, after studying in a corner of the library with the heating turned on high, I always felt a tingling itch on the side of my neck near my jawline.
When I came back and looked in the mirror, my eyes went dark - an extremely clear "little strawberry" with just the right color was arrogantly printed on the edge of my body, which was barely covered by the collar of my sweater, but could be exposed if I turned my head slightly or stretched!
What’s even worse is that the dormitory had to be cleaned the next day.
I kept my neck shrunk the whole time, like a quail.
It just so happened that the fourth brother was sharp-eyed. When he was wiping the table and passed behind me, I raised my hand to tidy up the bookshelf and my collar slipped down a little.
"Eh? Brother Rui!" The fourth brother's claws instantly slapped my shoulder, making me shiver with fear. "What's wrong with the back of your neck? It's a big red spot! Was it bitten by a bug?"
My heart was in my throat, and I frantically winked at Lin Yan beside me: Quick! Come up with a solution with your invincible nonsense!
Lin Yan put down the rag in his hand, walked over and moved closer, his expression as serious as if he was observing the bacteria in a petri dish.
He even stretched out his slender fingers (cold!) and gently pressed the "evidence".
"Hmm," he nodded seriously, his tone carrying the rigor of a scientific researcher. "Judging from the shape and color, it's most likely a bite from a recently discovered variant of a mite adapted to heating. The symptoms are similar to allergies, with slight redness, swelling, and itching."
He paused and looked at the fourth brother. "You'd better check your bed too. These mites multiply very quickly."
The fourth brother's face turned pale instantly: "What the hell?! Is this true? Lin Yan, don't scare me! I just changed the sheets!"
"Change clothes frequently, ventilate more, and use a mite remover if necessary." Lin Yan gave professional advice, then "conveniently" helped me pull up my collar, his fingertips accidentally brushing against my burning skin. "Chen Rui has a poor immune system, so the reaction is quite obvious. Just apply some medicine on him."
The fourth brother immediately stood three meters away from me, looked at me with a look of sympathy that said "you're on your own", and then rushed to his bed in a hurry.
Me: “…” Watching Lin Yan turn around and grab his so-called “ointment” (which was just regular moisturizer), I internally roared: Mutant mites?! Lin Yan, why didn’t you just tell me I was marked by aliens?! Your lies are getting more and more outrageous!
The daily life in the dormitory, where people are in chaos and may be exposed at any time, is like candy covered with glass shards.
Although the whole process always makes me terrified and digging my toes into the ground, but when I see him talking nonsense seriously, I inexplicably feel that... he is a little handsome?
Forget it, forget it. Who told me... well, let's just live life as it is. At least, this relationship is definitely not boring! I just hope that next time Master Lin makes up a lie, he can be a little more... down-to-earth?
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