Chapter 16 The Capitalist and the Donkey
As I was lying on the gaming chair and eating potato chips, I suddenly realized that Lin Yan definitely had evil intentions when he was doing the renovation!
The game wall that claims to "fulfill your chronicle dream" is clearly a carrot dangling in front of the donkey by the capitalists!
Ever since my butt was restored to factory settings, this second bedroom has become my happy nest.
The 4090 graphics card is so smooth that you can squeeze juice out of it, the ergonomic chair comes with a built-in massage lumbar support, and even the refrigerator is filled with fat otaku happy water and Japanese plum cakes.
Haha, the sugar-coated bullet has been upgraded to a sugar-coated nuclear bomb!
"Brother Rui, it's twelve o'clock." Lin Yan floated to the door like a ghost for the nth time, holding a sliced melon in his hand, and poked my mouth with a fork. "You promised yesterday that you would only play until eleven o'clock today."
Without even turning my head, I pounded away on my keyboard: "Last billion round! The boss is only 5% health away!"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him put the fruit plate on the table. He suddenly bent down and bit the back of my neck. "It's 5.1% now."
On the third night I finally flipped over.
While Lin Yan was leaning against the door frame in his bathrobe, slowly tightening and loosening the towel he used to dry his hair, I was wearing noise-canceling headphones and playing a crazy sword fight in "Sekiro".
Before the word "death" appeared on the screen, I suddenly felt a chill on my back - I turned my head and met his half-smile, the belt of his bathrobe was untied, and his abdominal muscles were faintly visible in the shadows.
"Chen Rui." He tapped the dial with his fingertips. "It's half past one in the morning."
My hand trembled, and the wolf cub was smashed into a pancake by the lion ape on the spot: "Right, right now! Wait for me to pass on the fire!"
As a result, the fire was not spread, but the person was spread to the master bedroom.
He threw me onto the bed, pinned my thrashing legs with his knees, and sneered, "Three days in a row, averaging 14 hours of gaming time a day—are you planning to marry the game and make me your current husband?"
The next day, an A4 paper appeared on the breakfast table with a bold title: "Agreement on Reasonable Allocation of Chen Rui's Time and Sustainable Development."
"Rule one," Lin Yan read clearly, "the daily game time must not exceed 4 hours. Any time overdue will be exchanged for a kiss for each minute."
I spit out a mouthful of soy milk: "Are you selling kisses or your body?!"
"Second," he calmly wiped the bean dregs off his face, "if Party B (Chen Rui) neglects Party A (Lin Yan) due to his gaming addiction, Party A has the right to initiate 'forced withdrawal procedures'—including but not limited to unplugging the network cable, hiding the controller, installing 360, etc."
I slammed the table and stood up: "You are violating citizens' virtual property rights!"
He suddenly reached out and grabbed the strap of my sweatshirt and pulled it forward, his nose touching mine and he chuckled softly, "The third one... kiss me right now."
Less than 24 hours after the treaty was signed, I became a slave to three families.
That day, Lin Yan was called by his laboratory instructor to attend a group meeting. Before leaving, he deliberately locked the PS5 controller in the safe (don’t ask why he has a safe at home, the answer is because he needs the academic materials for the exam).
As a result, as soon as this guy left, I found a spare key in the crack of the sofa - wow, it was hidden even more secretly than my private money!
I squatted in front of the safe, torn between my conscience and my desires, two villains fighting madly in my head:
Angel Rui: "Think about the angelica chicken soup he made for you!"
Demon Rui: "But the Elden Ring DLC has been updated!"
In the end, the new wife, "Melina the Impaler," defeated the old husband.
I rushed back to the gaming chair in my slippers, as excited as Lu Bu riding Red Hare - and then was caught in the act by Lin Yan who had returned early.
He watched me frantically turning off the monitor with his hands folded, then suddenly pulled out a brown paper bag from his back. "Want some food? There's been a line at the school gate for half an hour selling those sesame-flavored pancakes."
I hunched my neck, expecting to be scolded, but he stuffed the biscuit into my hand and turned to open the safe: "Go ahead and play. I've removed the parental control for you."
As I stared at him in shock, he loosened his tie and slumped down on the beanbag. "But I'm going to keep an eye on this—some people forget to eat or drink water when they're playing games, like three-year-olds."
Now I finally grasped Lin Yan's vital point.
Whenever he tried to confiscate my controller, I'd throw myself in front of the wall of games, point at the Collector's Edition of The Legend of Zelda: Kingdom of Tears, and wail: "Look at how lonely Link's eyes are! Can you bear to make the princess of Hyrule wait another twenty years?"
Or maybe she'd pretend to cry while hugging a Final Fantasy 7 Remake Cloud figurine: "Even Claude is waiting for Aerith, and you won't even let your boyfriend wait for a dungeon CD!"
This trick has been proven to work.
Lin Yan would always grit his teeth and pinch my face: "Chen Rui, you just rely on me..."
I always use potato chips to block the second half of the sentence.
Tsk, I’m afraid I can’t escape this capitalist corruption.
Final exams came around, and Lin Yan was incredibly aggressive. He locked my treasured PS5 and Switch in the game room, then waved the keys in front of me with a smile: "Rui, if you get over 80 points on every subject on the final exam, this bunch of keys will be your summer vacation gift."
The crisp sound of metal colliding was like the devil's mockery.
At first I didn’t believe it and turned the house upside down as if it had been robbed.
I was lying on the floor digging through the cracks in the sofa, and my heart was pounding when my fingertips touched something hard. I pulled it out and saw that it was the socks that had gone missing last week; I stepped on a stool to flip the ceiling, and the dust made me sneeze, and I ended up pulling out half a pack of expired Lancome; finally, I even opened the dust box in the robot vacuum cleaner, and there was nothing there except hair and eraser crumbs.
"Don't bother." Lin Yan walked by, carrying freshly baked egg tarts. His white shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing a smooth forearm that made my teeth itch. "Even if you smash through the wall, you can't get in."
I was so angry that I rushed over and bit his wrist, but he took the opportunity to put his arm around my waist and led me to the dining table: "Be good, finish memorizing the key points of Chapter 3, and I'll make you curry pork chop rice."
The most outrageous thing is that this bastard actually put the key in my "Principles of Automatic Control" textbook!
That book is so new that it can be sold directly in a second-hand bookstore as unopened!
When I turned to page 56 and saw the silver reflection, I almost dropped my pen - wasn't this the root locus method I learned last week?
It turns out that this bastard had already calculated this, knowing that I would never take the initiative to open the professional books in my life unless I was forced into a desperate situation by the final exam.
The key ring flashed a mocking light under the desk lamp. I stared at it for a full ten minutes, and in my mind, two villains were fighting each other fiercely.
A figure in armor holding a shield shouted, "New Horror Game! Only three achievements left!" A figure in glasses holding a book sneered, "Who was the one who knelt down and cried for help, Dad, when I failed the make-up exam last semester?"
In the end, the war ended when Lin Yan pushed the door open with midnight snacks - the caramel-colored brulee in his hand made me swallow my saliva, and I suddenly realized that compared to the pentakill in the virtual world, perhaps the man in reality who would bake desserts for me was more worthy of protection.
Of course, I would never say this even if you kill me.
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