Chapter 3 Goblin Attack
The day I was stopped by a girl and asked for her WeChat, I was eating the last bite of a custard bun that Lin Yan "casually" stuffed into my mouth. My mind was still immersed in the grief and anger of being demoted to a lower rank by my teammates last night, and I walked a little dazedly.
Suddenly, a pretty girl stood in front of me, her face slightly flushed, and her voice was as thin as a mosquito's hum:
"Classmate...can you add me on WeChat?"
Me? Chen Rui? Add WeChat?
At that moment, the custard bun in my mouth almost spit out.
I have lived for almost twenty years, and except for scanning codes to pay and being forced to join class groups, my WeChat friend list is as clean as if it has been formatted.
Growing up, I was basically a "girl-insulator," the kind of person who had a "no way out" barrier whenever I walked on the street. (With my slovenly look, it's hard for girls to like me!)
Now someone actually wants to add me? And this girl looks so quiet and gentle?
A stream of heat rushed from the soles of my feet straight to the top of my head.
It's not a heartbeat, but a pure, flattering, and incredible sense of accomplishment!
Awesome! This is fucking awesome! This feels even better than a pentakill!
I subconsciously wanted to grin and took out my phone, the screen of which was still stained with some oil (Lin Yan had wiped it, but my hands had their own ideas).
However, as soon as my finger touched the unlock button, it was as if the pause button was pressed in my mind.
Lin Yan's expressionless face, with eyes that were unfathomable, flashed out without warning.
No, wait...what am I thinking? What does adding WeChat have to do with Lin Yan?
It’s a huge deal!
A confusing but very real inner drama instantly played out in my mind:
1. Who raised me to be so “slick and greasy”?
Lin Yan! Without his five-star nanny-like feeding and care, I would probably still be that "Goblin" wearing a three-day-unwashed T-shirt, with a messy hair and the aftertaste of instant noodles.
The one this girl likes is Chen Rui, the "fake human" created by Lin Yan himself!
2. Does this count as “betrayal”?
When this thought came to my mind, I was shocked myself.
Betray what? I didn't sell myself to him!
But the strange excitement that had just emerged in my heart was like a balloon that was popped, deflated with a "poof", and was replaced by an inexplicable sense of guilt.
It's like... secretly taking the high-quality cat food carefully prepared by the breeder and feeding it to other cats?
Although this metaphor is extremely outrageous and self-deprecating, it feels damn apt!
3. The most important thing is that Lin Yan is an “uncertain factor”!
The look in the bar that night, the dirty words in the fire escape, and the words whispered right in my ear, "Are you here to catch someone cheating too?", instantly sent a chill down my spine.
He is now treating me as his "emotional substitute" and is very comfortable with me, but who knows if one day he will suddenly remember the secret I uncovered, or if he will be in a bad mood one day and find me, his "goblin", an eyesore again?
What if I just added the girl on WeChat and was happy for two days, and then Lin Yan did something earth-shattering and outrageous (such as suddenly including the girl in his "observation system"? Or thinks I am "unfaithful"?), wouldn't my life as a "handsome guy" that was just starting to improve collapse in an instant?
These messy thoughts flashed through my mind like lightning, and when I looked at the expectant look in the girl's eyes, I suddenly felt bored.
Dating? What a hassle! Chatting, dating, trying to figure out each other's thoughts—how could it be as straightforward and satisfying as exchanging passionate comments with your teammates in the canyon?
I, Chen Rui, am a happy fat otaku at heart, and being a single dog is my comfort zone!
The short-term satisfaction of vanity cannot offset the unknown troubles that may arise later (especially the troubles that may come from Lin Yan).
So, my half-opened silly smile froze, and I replaced it with a self-proclaimed polite, but in reality, stiff, and somewhat "Goblin-like" smile:
"Uh... sorry, classmate, I... I don't usually use WeChat. I just... I just like playing games."
After saying this, without even looking at the girl's instantly disappointed expression, he slipped away faster than a rabbit being chased by a dog.
Just as I turned the corner of the teaching building, I almost bumped into a warm chest.
He had followed behind me at some point, holding two bottles of ice water he had just bought from the vending machine.
The sunlight fell on his expressionless face. His eyelashes were drooping, making his eyes unclear, but the usual gentle curve at the corner of his mouth seemed almost faint.
He didn't say anything, just handed me one of the bottles of water naturally, and then walked towards the dormitory with me side by side.
This silence was even more uncomfortable than his usual staring at me.
I held the cold bottle of mineral water and my palms were a little sweaty.
Did he see it? How much did he see? What would he think? Would he think I didn't reject her decisively enough? Or... that I wasn't good enough for her? (Although this thought is a bit mean, in front of him, my "Goblin" inferiority complex occasionally comes to the fore.)
I stole a few glances at him. He was always looking straight ahead, his profile calm and composed.
It was not until they were almost at the dormitory that he spoke casually, his voice faint: "That girl just now..."
My heart suddenly jumped.
"...quite courageous." He just said this, then unscrewed the bottle cap and drank a sip of water, and said nothing else.
Me: “…” What does this comment mean?! Is it praising someone for being brave? Or implying that I’m a coward? Or… something else?
I thought about it all the way until I opened the dormitory door, but I still didn't figure it out. I just felt a chill in my stomach after drinking the bottle of ice water.
The days passed in this strange yet "harmonious" mode of living, just like the desk that Lin Yan had taken care of. A semester went by in a flash.
My biggest advantage may be my big heart (or stupid brain).
Over time, all the entanglements about the bar, the fire escape, and Lin Yan's secrets were "cleaned up" by Lin Yan's invisible hands, just like the melon seed shells disappearing from my desk.
I successfully convinced myself:
1. I don’t give a damn whether you are gay or not!
That is Lin Yan’s private life. Whether he likes men, women or aliens, as long as it doesn’t affect me, I don’t care!
Zhou Xiaowei has already broken up, but I'm still holding on to it and it seems like I'm meddling.
And it seems that it is hard to tell who was at fault first, or maybe Zhou Xiaowei was the one who cheated first?
2. He is really good to me!
The food is delicious, the clothes are clean, the bed is comfortable, and even playing games feels smoother because there is always warm water (and occasionally cut fruit) at hand.
Just enjoy it! Why think so much? Whether he wants to treat me as an "emotional substitute" or a "pet," it's up to him!
I, Chen Rui, am a heartless person and I live happiness forever!
3. It’s totally unlike me to be so twisted!
I used to be suspicious all the time, worried that he would turn evil and kill me the next second. Aren’t you tired?
It's so good now, we have food to eat, drinks to drink and people to serve us. If he wants to look, he can just take a look, it won't cost him anything.
Besides, being suspicious is not my style at all. Why should I care about his this or that?
Once I calmed down, I felt like the whole "Goblin" was sublimated!
I lay down completely, enjoying Lin Yan's full range of "feeding services" with peace of mind, and even began to give instructions:
"Brother Yan, I want to eat the sweet and sour pork from the second cafeteria today!"
"Brother Yan, the mouse pad seems dirty..."
"Brother Yan, I seem to have accumulated another bucket of clothes..."
The tone is so natural, as if it is a matter of course.
Where's Lin Yan? He takes it all.
He is still as calm as ever, and "conveniently" meets all my needs.
But the way he looked at me seemed to be changing quietly.
There's less scrutiny and exploration, and more... something hard to describe, like... a habit? Or a subtle... indulgence?
In short, it no longer makes me feel uneasy, and occasionally even gives me the illusion that "this person is quite reliable."
Until one afternoon at the end of the semester.
There are only two of us left in the dormitory.
I was slumped in my chair, having just finished a thrilling (a fight between two noobs) ranked match, grinning foolishly at the screen.
Lin Yan sat opposite me, holding a book in his hand, but he wasn't reading it. His eyes were on me.
The sun was warm and the atmosphere was unusually relaxed.
He suddenly spoke, his voice very calm, as if stating an insignificant fact:
"Hmm?" I responded lazily, still savoring the lucky pentakill I just got (all thanks to my teammates).
"Actually..." He paused, as if choosing his words, "I used to dislike you."
My fingers froze on the mouse, and I whipped my head around to look at him. What the hell? Do you hate me?
Lin Yan looked at me with eyes that widened instantly, and the corners of his mouth seemed to curve slightly, but his eyes were serious, even with a hint of reminiscence:
"He's sloppy and doesn't like to be clean. He doesn't care what others think. He has things piled up everywhere. He's like... well, a primitive creature living in a garbage dump."
He used precise words and mercilessly exposed my past.
I:"……"
Holy shit! Even though this is the truth, you're saying it so bluntly, don't you think I'm going to lose face?!
A flush of heat rushed to my cheeks, feeling both ashamed and embarrassed.
I opened my mouth and uttered, "...is that all you're telling me?"
His tone was a bit aggressive, and he sounded embarrassed as if his past was exposed.
It's the end of the semester. Do you want me to have a "confession session" or a "criticism session"?
Lin Yan looked at my angry expression and suddenly laughed softly.
It wasn't the usual gentle and distant smile, but a chuckle that was filled with genuine joy and made the chest vibrate slightly.
He pushed his glasses on the bridge of his nose, and his eyes behind the lenses fell on my face. There was no longer the cold scrutiny from before, nor that kind of bottomless exploration. Instead, it was like the first melting snow, with a strange warmth.
"Nothing," he said softly, with a sense of relaxation he had never felt before, even a hint of... relief?
"I just wanted to say..."
His eyes stayed on my face for a few seconds, as if confirming something, and then he added slowly and clearly:
"...Now I think you're pretty good this way."
The sunlight came through the window, casting a golden edge on him.
There was a faint smile on the corner of his mouth, and his eyes were calm, but like the surface of a lake where a stone was thrown, it created huge, silent ripples in my heart.
I froze in place, as if under a spell.
My fingers forgot to move on the keyboard, my mind was blank, and only his words kept echoing in my mind:
"Now I think you're pretty good this way."
Pretty good? Which kind? The me now, who has been made into a decent person by him?
Or... is it the "Goblin" self that is still sloppy, loves playing games, and is heartless?
Is he... recognizing me? The me of the past, or the me of the present?
Or...both?
Those light words, like an unsharpened key, "clicked" and seemed to gently poke open a lock that I had long given up trying to understand.
An inexplicable warm current, mixed with a huge confusion and a secret throbbing that even he himself did not dare to delve into, instantly drowned out the shame and anger he had just felt.
The dormitory was so quiet that only the faint chirping of cicadas outside the window could be heard.
I looked at his eyes behind the glasses, which were no longer unfathomable but rather exceptionally clear. I opened my mouth, but couldn't utter a word.
Lin Yan looked at my dazed expression, seemed to find it very interesting, and the smile on the corner of his mouth deepened a little bit.
He didn't say anything else, lowered his head, and opened the page of the book on his lap again, as if the earth-shattering words just now were just an ordinary chat.
I was the only one left, like a robot with its power unplugged, frozen in my chair, staring at the grayed-out game character on the screen, my soul drifting out of my body, the words repeatedly echoing in my head—
"Now I think you're pretty good this way."
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