Chapter 34 First Snow
The next day, I woke up with a headache like I'd been pinched by a door. The hangover was indeed as powerful as it's said to be. I groaned as I opened my eyes, and before I could fully regain consciousness, I met Lin Yan's gaze.
He was lying on his side beside me, his head propped up by one hand, staring at me unblinkingly. That look... how should I put it? It was incredibly complex. There was heartache, tenderness, and also a sense of... heaviness, as if something was weighing on his mind.
My head was still spinning as I tried to recall last night. Aside from the party being wild, the heavy drinking, and the fact that Lin Yan seemed to have carried me home in the end... everything else was a blur. Wait... did I... say something I shouldn't have? About... the past?
Seeing him hesitant and with a heavy heart, I racked my brains and could only come to the conclusion that best fits his "beastly" nature - is he unhappy because I was drunk and unconscious last night and didn't get the "real work" done?
Tsk, this bastard! He's so energetic!
With the simple idea of "appease the owner's emotions and avoid being doubled up on the debt", I cleared my hoarse throat, moved closer, and said with a bit of a broken jar and open-mindedness: "Hey... Lin Yan, are you... unhappy because of this?" I gestured at the messy bed with my eyes, "If you... are really so unhappy... you can make it up now..." After saying that, I tried to throw a weak "wink".
Lin Yan was visibly stunned, staring at me in bewilderment. Then, as if he'd heard some ridiculous joke, his shoulders began to shake. Finally, unable to hold back, he let out a muffled laugh. He reached out and pinched my chin, forcing me to look into his smiling, mischievous eyes. "Baby, what's going on in your little head...all day? I was thinking about something else."
"Huh? Not this?" I was stunned, then a little annoyed. "Then why are you looking so bitter and resentful so early in the morning? You scared me!"
"My bad." Lin Yan apologized graciously, but his smile deepened, and his fingers caressed my chin in an ambiguous manner. "But..." He stretched out the last syllable, and his eyes became dangerous. "Since Ruirui has so enthusiastically and proactively 'invited' me... If I don't 'cooperate', wouldn't it be a betrayal of their kindness?"
"Hey! I...uh..." The protest was ineffective.
So, the lazy morning that should have been spent soothing my hangover ended up being spent happily (and for me, painfully so) enjoying another form of "vigorous exercise." After being soothed (or perhaps drained) by Lin Yan's "practical action," my slight anxieties about last night's "slip of the tongue" magically dissipated. Never mind, it's all in the past anyway.
Time flies, and winter has arrived in the blink of an eye. This year's first snow came especially early, covering the campus in a blanket of silver overnight.
When we left the house that morning, Lin Yan immediately wrapped me in a thick down jacket and matching woolen hat. Finally, he wrapped a soft cashmere scarf around my neck, leaving only my eyes exposed. He himself was dressed like a portable heater, and then he took my hand and said, "Let's go see the snow."
The snow was still falling, not heavily, but fine flakes drifting down like icing sugar. The campus was a blanket of white, a tranquil and beautiful scene. The soft snow crunched under my feet. Lin Yan's hands were warm, tightly wrapped around my slightly chilled fingers.
Looking at the pure snow scene in front of me, a long-lost memory suddenly emerged in my mind.
"Lin Yan," I shook his hand. "Do you remember? We really started to get in touch... It seemed to be a winter like this, and it was snowing."
Lin Yan turned his head to look at me with a questioning look in his eyes.
"It was during the first semester of my freshman year, near the end of the semester," I recalled. "It was freezing cold that day. The weather forecast predicted a drop in temperature, but I ignored it and wore a thin coat to class. I came back at noon, freezing like a plucked quail. I hunched my neck and just wanted to rush back to the dorm to warm up..."
Lin Yan seemed to remember it as well, and a smile appeared on the corner of his lips.
"Then, just a few dozen meters away from the dormitory building, someone suddenly grabbed me from behind." I imitated the action at that time. "I turned around and saw it was you. You frowned, and without saying a word, you took off the gray scarf around your neck and put it directly on my neck! You moved so fast that I didn't even react!"
I touched the scarf that Lin Yan had just tied for me, and I seemed to be able to still feel the warmth and scent of that scarf.
"At the time, I felt...really warm. I don't know if it was because of the scarf, or..." I paused, embarrassed to continue, "Anyway, I felt less cold. But my happiness turned into tragedy! Because the scarf was too long, it blocked half of my vision. When I reached the small step at the cafeteria entrance, I didn't see clearly and fell hard! My knees were bruised!"
Lin Yan laughed softly, obviously remembering how embarrassed I was.
"After I got home, I washed the scarf until it was spotless and smelled delicious. Then..." I lowered my voice, feeling a bit awkward at the time, "...I secretly put it back on your bed. After I put it back... I suddenly felt a little empty inside, as if something was missing. That was the first time I... really thought about Lin Yan... If one day, he wasn't so nice to me, or even ignored me... I think... I would be very sad?"
I spoke out this little thought, something I'd never shared with anyone before. I felt a little embarrassed, and my ears started burning. Back then, I was awkward and sensitive, like a little animal guarding a treasure but afraid of losing it.
Lin Yan paused. He turned to face me, snowflakes landing on his thick eyelashes and melting quickly. He reached out and carefully adjusted my scarf, which had been blown slightly askew by the wind, his movements as gentle as if he were handling a rare treasure. Then, he cupped my face, his thumb gently brushing away a speck of snow from the tip of my nose. His eyes, always smiling, were now filled with unwavering tenderness and love.
He smiled and said, "Little fool. Now... everyone is yours, what are you worried about?"
A huge wave of heat instantly rushed to my cheeks! My heart seemed to be hit hard by these words, and it was beating wildly!
In the past, I would never say such cheesy love words, and I wouldn't tolerate hearing them from anyone else! But now... I actually find it... a little sweet?
I covered my burning face and muttered softly, "Fuck... Lin Yan, you... you're so corny! Is this the direction of goblin evolution? You're becoming more and more effeminate?"
Lin Yan laughed out loud at my amusement. He reached out and hugged me, rubbing his chin against the top of my head. His voice was filled with laughter and doting: "It's not that the goblin has evolved. It's because... you love me more." He paused, his voice low and gentle, "When you are wrapped in love, your heart will become soft. Ruirui, that's how you are now."
I leaned in his warm embrace, listening to his steady heartbeat and thinking about his words.
Yes... being surrounded by love really makes a difference.
Just like in the past, when I encountered a jerk in the game, I'd instantly flood the screen with Zaun quotes, making them question their lives. But now, while I still get angry, I seem to have learned... to take a deep breath and try to communicate. Although most of the time, communication fails and I still get angry... but this is already a huge step forward for goblin civilization!
Thinking of this, I suddenly became curious. What about Lin Yan? Has he changed? The Lin Yan who used to be so gentle and distant, but was actually so controlling and a bit of a lunatic?
"Lin Yan," I looked up at him, "What about you? Have you changed in any way since being with me?"
Lin Yan didn't expect me to ask this and was slightly stunned. Snowflakes fell on his shoulders. He held me in his arms, his eyes gazing at the snow-covered pine trees in the distance, as if he was thinking seriously.
"Hmm..." He pondered for a moment, his voice soft and introspective. "Before... when I was in love, or rather, when I was in love, I couldn't help but overthink things. As soon as they got close to someone else, or if there was any sign of trouble, I'd feel insecure and couldn't help but test them, to... make a fuss." He looked down at me, his eyes frank. "That state... was actually pretty terrible. It hurt them, and it hurt me too."
"But when I'm with you..." His eyes softened and warmed, like melted snow. "It seems... that burning, uneasy feeling has faded a lot. I can't tell. Is it because you make me feel so secure that I instinctively trust you? Or is it because... I love you so much that I'm willing to restrain those bad impulses, indulge you, and give you enough space for you?" He smiled, a little helpless and doting. "Maybe... it's both."
I was a bit surprised by his honesty. So he'd been that immature before? But thinking back on how jealous he'd been before... well, there were definitely signs.
I deliberately stretched out my tone and said sarcastically, "Ha~ That sounds so nice. Boss Lin, tell me honestly, if I were to go and talk to a random stranger on the street right now, are you sure you wouldn't get jealous? Or secretly check their household registration?"
Lin Yan was amused by my expression. He raised his eyebrows, and a familiar, dangerous smile flashed across his eyes behind his glasses. He leaned close to my ear and asked in a low voice, "Rui Rui, you asked this... do you already have this idea? Hmm?"
"Get lost!" I pushed him away, grabbed a ball of snow and threw it at his face. "You wish!"
Lin Yan dodged with a smile, quickly bent down and rolled a snowball, which he accurately hit on my hat. The snowball exploded, and the cold snow flakes drilled into my neck, making me scream!
"Lin Yan! You dog! Sneak attack!"
"All is fair in war. Didn't Teacher Ruirui teach you that?" He retorted with a smile.
A fierce snowball fight instantly erupted in the quiet campus! I screamed, dodging and fighting back, while Lin Yan effortlessly dodged and threw accurately, a smile of joy on his face, as if he had succeeded in a prank. The snowballs flew through the air, hitting me with a chill, but my heart felt warm.
Many of my classmates joined in the snowball fight, their laughter and screams shattering the stillness of the first snowfall. In the snow, two figures chased and played, like two children who hadn't grown up, temporarily leaving all their worries and burdens behind. Snowflakes fell on us, and on our eyes as we smiled at each other, pure and beautiful. In that moment, it seemed as if only we were left in the world, the soft, white snow beneath our feet.
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