Chapter 4 The Living Bodhisattva
Lin Yan's words "It's not bad" were like a boomerang, buzzing around in my small brain for several times before barely landing.
I froze in my chair, my fingers unconsciously picking at the non-existent dust in the gaps between the keyboards (Lin Yan cleaned it regularly, so it was very clean). My eyes were as big as bells, staring straight at Lin Yan, who had lowered his head to read again across from me.
The sun was warm, and tiny particles of dust hung in the air. The dormitory was so quiet that only the rustling of pages and the beating of my own heart could be heard.
A belated realization, like a thunderclap, split my chaotic thoughts:
I seem to... never understand Lin Yan.
This realization strikes me as absurd.
We'd shared a dorm together for almost a year, been inseparable (and been unilaterally cared for) for half a year, and I actually dared to say I "didn't understand"? Weren't Lin Yan's gentleness, thoughtfulness, attentiveness, responsiveness, and even that frighteningly focused gaze all part of what I "understood"?
But now, I suddenly realized that those were like the golden bodies of "living Bodhisattvas" that Lin Yan carefully polished and displayed to the outside world.
I was like a devout (and lazy) believer, contentedly enjoying the warmth and convenience emanating from the golden body, but never thinking about what was inside the golden body.
Is it flesh? Is it machinery? Or... a dark mist that I cannot comprehend?
The words "I used to hate you" were like a rusty key, which, with a "click", pried open a tiny crack in the golden body.
For the first time, I got such a clear glimpse of Lin Yan’s “inner self”—how could he have such straightforward negative emotions?
He actually "hates" people? Or even uses words like "sloppy" or "primitive" that are so specific and... so down-to-earth?
This completely overturned my understanding!
In my eyes (and everyone who knows Lin Yan), Lin Yan is synonymous with emotional stability and tolerance.
Hate? How could such a low-level, direct, personal emotion possibly be associated with Lin Yan? He should be the kind of person who looks at everyone with a bit of compassion, feeling that all living beings are suffering and need his help!
To Lin Yan, the fact that he "spoke frankly of his dislike" seemed to be more shocking than the fact that he was kissing a man in the fire escape.
Although the latter is very shocking, it is more like a "heaven-defying operation" beyond common sense, and is a miracle (or divine punishment?) occasionally displayed by a "living Bodhisattva".
The former...is a human, real, and even a little clumsy disclosure.
This exposure, with a strange destructive power, knocked off a small piece of the perfect, warm glaze on Lin Yan's body, revealing the real texture underneath, which might be rough or cold.
My brain, which had been treated so badly that it was almost degenerated, started to work with great difficulty:
1. Lin Yan hated me. He hated me very directly and without hiding his hatred.
2. He now thinks I'm "pretty good." His tone is calm, even a little relieved and...approving?
3. How did this change happen? Was it because he'd grown attached to me, treating me like a "meal replacement"? Or did he discover that even "goblins" have their own strengths? (Like, a big eater? Easy to keep?)
4. Is he...happy now? That smile just now seemed genuine?
A bunch of tangled questions filled my head, making me a little irritated.
I shook my head and decided not to think about it anymore.
I couldn't figure it out! But the inexplicable feeling in my heart, a little bit of pride and a little itchy, that arose from that "not bad" drove me to do something.
Thank him? Too corny! Invite him to dinner? He'll definitely say "on my way".
Help him tidy up? No, his desk is as clean as a model apartment, and I'd just be causing more trouble.
My eyes scanned my lit game screen.
In the canyon, the teammate who had just been defeated by me was still passionately outputting on the public screen. The screen full of "**"s could not cover up the gushing Zaun atmosphere.
An idea, like a light bulb in the dark, suddenly lit up in my mind!
Yes! Playing games!
Is there anything better for releasing emotions and bringing people closer (or turning them against each other) than a passionate exchange of insults in the canyon?
Moreover, a "living Bodhisattva" like Lin Yan has definitely never experienced this kind of primitive pleasure!
He's usually so calm, maybe he's just holding it in! Let him curse it out! Curse it and let it go! Doesn't that touch upon his "true self"?
By the way... hehe, I can also get him to play games with me, killing two birds with one stone! I am such a genius!
I jumped up from the chair with such a big movement that Lin Yan, who was reading a book opposite me, was startled and raised his head. There was a questioning look behind his glasses.
"Brother Yan!" I said loudly, with the excitement of discovering a new world. I rushed in front of him and looked at him with sparkling eyes. "Want to play games?"
Lin Yan was obviously stunned for a moment.
He looked at me, then at the lit game screen behind me, and frowned slightly, as if he couldn't keep up with my jumping thoughts.
"Game?" he repeated, a little uncertainly.
"Yeah! That's it!" I pointed at the screen. "It's so fun! Even if you lose, you can scold your teammates! It's so stress-relieving!"
I pushed the product hard, emphasizing the core selling point of "scolding teammates."
"Look at you, you usually keep everything bottled up, how tiring! Come! Join me! When you see a fool, just open the microphone and rant! It'll feel good when you rant! Seriously! Trust me!"
I patted my chest and said sincerely, "I guarantee to teach you until you learn it and you will enjoy it."
Lin Yan looked at me and was silent for more than ten seconds.
The look in his eyes was a bit complicated, as if he was evaluating the feasibility of my proposal, and as if he was wondering how many tons of weird ideas were in my dog brain.
Finally, the light in his eyes behind the lenses flickered slightly, and there seemed to be a hint of... flattered?
Yes! I am flattered!
It was faint, but I caught it! It was like a Buddha, accustomed to being worshipped, suddenly being invited to eat skewers. It was a bit unexpected and... novel?
He gently closed the book in his hand and put it aside. Then he pushed up his glasses, raised the corners of his mouth in a very shallow, but more real arc than before, and nodded: "Okay."
It worked! The little man in my heart twisted wildly.
The plan to bring the "living Buddha" down to earth, the first step, succeeded!
I immediately helped him drag the chair to my computer, and attentively handed him my spare mouse (which, of course, was also cleaned by Lin Yan), and taught him step by step how to register an account and choose a character.
I picked an ADC with explosive damage but fragile skin, and promised, "Brother Yan, just pick a support and follow me! Watch me lead you to success!"
Lin Yan didn't say anything. His eyes swept across the list of auxiliary heroes. His slender fingers clicked on the mouse and selected a... soft auxiliary that looked ordinary and focused on protection and control.
Fine, that fits his personality. I'm ready to wreak havoc and show Lin Yan what it means to be the "top scholar in the liberal arts department of Zuan."
The game began. The laning phase was relatively smooth. Lin Yan's mechanics were... well, a little stiff, but his awareness was surprisingly good. He always managed to harass the enemy just in time while I was farming, or provide a shield when I misplaced my positioning. While his plays weren't particularly impressive, they were definitely not bad.
However, the good times did not last long.
I don't know if the mid laner and jungler lost points in duo queue or were simply out of their minds, but they started giving away kills like crazy. In less than ten minutes, the opponent's mid and jungler were already fat and started roaming around to catch people.
Lin Yan and I were double-teamed by four opponents in the bottom lane. I used my extreme skill to kill one of them, but I was also beaten to death.
The moment the screen turned gray, looking at the two teammates who were still sleepwalking in the jungle, all the anger that I had accumulated in my heart suddenly bubbled up!
"Fuck! Mid laner, you're fucking..." I took a deep breath, my finger already pressed on the microphone button, brewing a passionate greeting that would be enough to shake the entire canyon.
The soul of Zaun is awakening!
Just when I was about to transform into a canyon telegraph operator and greet the other party's family tree in the most refined language -
A gentle, calm, and even soothing voice came clearly through the headphones, instantly silencing the curse words in my throat.
"Don't worry, hold on."
It was Lin Yan! He spoke up! His voice was quiet, but it strangely cut through the cacophony of background noise and his teammates' complaints. "Jungler, can you come to the bottom lane and give us a counter-camp? They don't have flash."
His tone was so natural, without a trace of anger, as calm as if they were discussing what to eat for dinner.
What's even more outrageous is that he actually accurately pointed out the gap in the opponent's key skills!
There was silence in the headphones for a moment.
The jungler who had been sleepwalking all this time actually replied for the first time: "...Okay, wait until I finish this group."
Me: “???” I opened my mouth, but the words stuck in my throat, “Your mother’s vegetable prices will definitely go up,” were forcibly blocked out, choking me and making me roll my eyes.
Brother Yan! I asked you to curse people! I didn't ask you to be the mediation director of the neighborhood committee!
What happened next left me stunned.
Lin Yan seemed to have turned on some strange switch. He stopped being silent and began to give orders in an extremely calm, clear, and even somewhat unquestionable gentle tone:
"After clearing the middle lane, move down. Their jungler might be in the dragon pit."
"AD (me), be careful, the opposing support's flash is almost ready."
"We can fight this wave. I have a weakness, so the jungler will go around."
"After you push the tower and get the dragon, don't chase it. There's not enough vision."
His command was concise and effective, and his tone was calm but strangely convincing.
What's even more amazing is that the two teammates who were sleepwalking and giving away kills before actually started to listen to his instructions! Although their operation was still terrible, at least they knew where to go!
And I, the originally planned "output core", was now like a puppet, being clearly arranged by Lin Yan's gentle instructions: "AD, follow me." "AD, attack the tower." "AD, retreat."
As I operated mechanically, my head was buzzing.
This script is off! Where's the supposed emotional release and passionate banter? How did it become a promotional video about harmony, friendship, unity, and collaboration in the canyon?
The most important thing is that under Lin Yan's "silent and subtle" command, our group of guerrillas actually managed to hold their ground!
His inconspicuous soft support controlled the three core players of the opposite team with a precise ultimate in the crucial team battle!
I subconsciously followed up with the output, and cooperated with my teammates who arrived late, and achieved a miraculous team wipe!
"NICE!" The excited shouts of teammates (including the one who gave away the kill earlier) came from the headphones.
"Push the tower, one wave."
Lin Yan's voice remained calm, as if the amazing move just now was not made by him.
When the animation of the enemy crystal exploding lit up, I was still a little dazed.
Win? Can this be won? I looked at the "Victory" sign that popped up on the screen, then looked at Lin Yan, who had taken off his headphones and looked normal, as if he had just done a trivial thing. I felt my worldview take a second hit.
What is this? A living bodhisattva's alternative way of saving all living things? Inspiring the orphans of the valley with love and peace?
I held it in for a long time, looking at Lin Yan's calm face, and finally couldn't help it. With a bit of confusion after surviving a disaster and a huge cognitive overturn, I muttered softly:
"Brother Yan...how come you play games...it's like you're doing charity?"
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