Chapter 9 Dormitory Secret Affair
After all, he was Lin Yan. If he wanted to be carefully hidden and protected like this, then let him be.
Although I always feel that it is better for two grown men to be open about their love, hiding it will make them look guilty.
But seeing how he looked like he was facing a great enemy and was afraid that I would suffer any injustice, I couldn't say no.
All right, a secret affair is a secret affair, and the toilet strategy is the toilet strategy. Anyway... the feeling of kissing him is really exciting, so the location is almost right.
But here comes the problem.
This love affair is just like an underground party meeting!
Want to get intimate? Sure, take advantage of the "safe period" when your roommates are wearing headphones, playing games, or browsing their phones. A glance will make, and then you'll slip into the small bathroom one after the other.
The sound of locking the door was so quiet that it sounded like a thief's. The space was cramped and the air was not circulating. If we kissed for a while longer, we would be short of air. We also had to prick up our ears to listen to the movement outside, for fear that someone would suddenly knock on the door.
After it happens enough times, even a fool can see that something is wrong.
"Brother Rui," the fourth brother said, holding a lollipop in his mouth. His eyes turned cunning when Lin Yan and I came out of the restroom again. "You... have kidney deficiency lately? Why are you going to the restroom so often? Or is it..." He deliberately dragged out his tone, grinned wickedly, and nudged the brother next to him with his elbow, "Do you need our brother Yan to personally 'watch over' you when you go to the restroom? Are you afraid that you'll fall into a pit and can't climb out?"
"Hahahaha!" Another roommate immediately burst into a knowing, extremely provocative laugh. "That's right! Brother Yan, your service is incredible! Next time Brother Rui comes in, do you have to sing him a lullaby to cheer him up?"
I felt so embarrassed, I could feel the heat burning from the base of my neck all the way to the top of my head. I wanted to curse but was afraid that it would only make things worse, so I could only stiffen my neck and yell, "Get out! I can't drink too much water!"
After yelling, he glanced at Lin Yan guiltily.
Lin Yan was as steady as a rock. He pushed his glasses and said in a calm tone as if he was stating a law of physics: "He has a poor sense of balance. I'm afraid he will fall." This nonsense made the two guys laugh even more wildly.
What’s even more terrible is the daily interactions.
The dormitory is only the size of a palm, and the four of us see each other everywhere, so most social activities are confined to these dozen square meters.
When I was with Lin Yan in the past, I could say whatever I wanted, scold him if I wanted, or lie down if I wanted.
Now, if I want to say something more intimate, I have to go through it three times in my mind and automatically replace high-risk words like "baby" and "I miss you" with "hello" and "that person".
If I want to act a little bit naughty or act coquettishly (although this word does not exist in my dictionary, Chen Rui, but I also want to be a bit mean sometimes), I have to consider the extent, for fear that I will lose control and my eyes or actions will be too explicit, and I will be exposed on the spot.
I had a stupid brain and let my guard down once I got familiar with the environment, and I almost got into trouble several times.
One time, Lin Yan casually handed me his half-drunk milk tea. My brain suddenly went blank, so I took it and took a big sip through the straw, smacking my lips and commenting: "It's too sweet, I'll use three-tenths of sugar next time."
As soon as the words came out, the air froze instantly.
The fourth brother and another brother's eyes suddenly focused on him with curiosity and amusement.
"Yo~" The fourth brother dragged out his tone, "Brother Rui, you... don't you mind Brother Yan's saliva? I remember you used to hate it the most when people touched your food. Last time, when Lao Wang drank a sip of your Coke, you chased him and beat him up for three floors!"
I broke out in a cold sweat and pretended to be calm: "...I'm thirsty, I can't be thirsty! Besides, Lin Yan...he is particular and clean!" This explanation was so pale that I couldn't believe it myself.
Lin Yan reacted quickly, taking back the cup expressionlessly, and added calmly, "He has a taste disorder, so he can help me test the poison."
I managed to divert their attention to mocking my "taste disorder" and barely made it through, but my back was soaked.
I can see that Lin Yan is having a harder time than I am.
Especially after we confirmed our relationship, his desire to hold me in his hands and protect me became even stronger.
In the past, he just took care of me “out of the blue”, but now he wants to wrap me in a sterile isolation cover.
In the dormitory, the way he looked at me was so sticky, sometimes so intense that I was afraid my roommates would notice.
He carefully controlled the distance and suppressed the instinct to get close, as if putting an invisible shackle on himself.
Gradually, rumors began to drift in from outside, such as "Lin Yan is too good to Chen Rui" and "Are they too close?"
It hasn't risen to that level yet, but it's still disturbing to listen to.
I saw that he was really uncomfortable holding it in, so one time when no one was in the dormitory, I pulled his sleeve and said, "Hey, Lin Yan, actually... you really don't have to care so much about what others think. I don't care."
He shook his head, his eyes behind the glasses serious, with a heaviness I couldn't understand: "I'm not afraid of what others say about me. I'm afraid of what others say about you."
He was afraid of those rumors and those possible strange looks that would fall on me.
"I'm not afraid either!" I puffed out my chest, trying to sound tough. "Oh, how tiring it is to live your whole life under the scrutiny of others! When you hated me before, didn't you also know that I'm a reckless person who doesn't care what others think?"
Lin Yan stared at me for a long time, his eyes seemed to penetrate me and see deeper.
Finally, he shook his head, sighed, and said in a low voice: "This is different... This is much more serious than that."
The solemnity in his tone made me realize that this was indeed not something that could be simply covered up by my previous "indifference".
Society's view of two boys together is far more harsh and complicated than "a sloppy otaku".
I was a little discouraged. It seemed that I couldn't convince him.
Suppressing an inexplicable irritation, my mind suddenly twitched and I blurted out, "What about you? A guy confessed his love to you in public before, and it was even hung on the confession wall for the whole school to see. Aren't you ashamed?"
I felt a little regretful as soon as I said it. The question was a bit sharp and had a sour taste that I didn't even notice.
Lin Yan was stunned for a moment, then his expression returned to his usual calmness, even a little indifferent.
He looked at me and said three words lightly:
"I'm used to it."
"Habit"? !
These two words were like icicles, nailing me to the spot.
What are you used to? Are you used to being liked? Are you used to being noticed? Or are you used to… enduring the possible criticism and stares that might come with it?
My heart suddenly felt like a pot of mixed feelings had been overturned, and what finally surged up was a strong sense of irritation mixed with a hint of jealousy.
Damn! You're the only one who's recruiting! You're the only one who's liked! Peach blossoms are blooming everywhere, and they attract both men and women! Are you used to it? Is it a big deal to be used to it?!
Looking at his handsome face, which was calm and composed, as if he was really used to it, I suddenly felt that arguing with him about this was a complete waste of time.
A nameless anger was rising up, but I couldn't find an outlet to vent it.
"I'm too lazy to talk to you!" I said angrily, and like a lit firecracker, I turned around and rushed to the computer, sat down, clattered on the keyboard, and logged into the game fiercely.
Are you all mad? No way! This is a strategic shift! Killing monsters in the game is so much fun, who wants to argue with him here about whether it's okay or not, or whether it's shameful or not! This is so annoying!
I put on my headphones and turned up the volume to the hilt, trying to use the intense battle and my teammates' greetings from Zaun to drown out the inexplicable feeling of suffocation and... a trace, really just a trace, of the subtle pain that arose from his words "I'm used to it."
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