Chapter 119 Amidst the Clouds (Part 9) Luring out his deeply hidden desires...
As they passed from Suiyun Tower to the Song residence, it was still not dark. The two rode their horses slowly, and as they approached the end of the journey, Zhi Rou jumped off first and took the reins in her hand.
Wei Yuanzhan then dismounted, slowing his pace just like hers.
For Zhi Rou, this was a very novel feeling. She had never thought that she would like to be close to anyone, wanting to see him and touch him all the time.
I suddenly became curious as to why he only wrote letters a few days ago. Did he not want to meet?
Is military life tough?
"It's alright," Wei Yuanzhan said in a relaxed tone, "perhaps because his ability to endure has become more and more refined, those unpleasant things have become trivial matters. It's just training... dealing with a few people who don't get along with me."
Upon hearing the second half of his sentence, Zhi Rou thought of Su Du almost instantly, and she felt a complex emotion towards her brother.
Before being taken to the Song family, she often felt that she had no background, was too fragile, and too sensitive. Therefore, she was always very angry as a child, even if she appeared calm on the surface, her heart was already churning with turmoil.
Su Du, on the other hand, is a giant spirit ship without a helmsman, and everyone wants to avoid him.
Zhi Rou lowered her head slightly, and strands of hair fell down from her ears. Wei Yuanzhan's gaze seemed to be fixed on her the whole time, which is why he was able to notice her clues so quickly.
He asked in a gentle voice, "What's wrong?"
Zhi Rou raised her head in response to the voice.
Their eyes met, and a clear worry was revealed in those dark eyes.
Being with Wei Yuanzhan gave her an indescribable sense of security.
"Can we meet every day?" Zhirou suddenly asked.
Wei Yuanzhan was stunned for a moment. The bright gaze in front of him seemed to see into his heart and lure out his deep-seated desires.
A smile played on Wei Yuanzhan's lips as his fingers casually brushed against her hair, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Of course. To be fair, I'll come find you tomorrow."
He moved his hand from her ear to her palm, glanced around a few times, and when no one was around, he suddenly bent down and kissed her.
In her haste, her lips brushed against the spot where her earlobe met her cheek.
A soft and familiar touch brushed against her ear. It was brief, perhaps less than a breath, but a truly electrifying sensation spread through her limbs, and Zhi Rou froze.
After kissing her, Wei Yuanzhan immediately took two steps back, pretended nothing had happened, touched Yueying's neck, looked back and saw that she still hadn't moved, and suddenly smiled and said, "Zhirou."
She looked over, and he took the reins again, as if to escort her all the way to the gate of the mansion: "Come on, we're almost there."
"Don't you want to go back?" he added.
Zhi Rou shook her head unconsciously, the movement was very small, and Wei Yuanzhan smiled again when he saw it.
Only after realizing what had happened did she glance around warily, and when she saw that no one was around, her nerves finally relaxed.
She strode after him, saying, "You'll regret making fun of me like this sooner or later."
His tone was very light, but a hint of provocation lingered in his eyes, and his last sentence sounded almost like a challenge.
"Have you forgotten? I learn everything very quickly."
Even though he knew her personality well, Wei Yuanzhan was still stunned for a moment upon hearing these words, then he smiled, covering his face with his broad, thin hand for a while, and when he lowered it, the corners of his mouth were still upturned.
“Okay, okay,” he replied, nudging her shoulder lightly with his elbow, tilting his head down slightly, and speaking to her in a voice as if telling a secret, “I’m eagerly awaiting it.”
A surge of heat instantly rushed from my heart to my ears.
Zhi Rou turned her face away, whether out of anger or embarrassment, it was hard to tell. Fortunately, the gates of the mansion were already open, so she quickly left behind "See you tomorrow" and ran up the steps.
Only after watching her retreating figure disappear through the vermilion gate did Wei Yuanzhan leap onto his horse. As if recalling her every move, the corners of his lips twitched again, unable to conceal his true feelings.
The following day at noon, Zhi Rou had lunch with Ling Xi at Xi Xiang Garden.
A few days ago, Ling Xi suddenly fainted in her room, which terrified Zhi Rou. After the doctor came to examine her, he learned that she couldn't eat pepper. Since then, whenever Zhi Rou ate with Ling Xi, she would taste a bit first to make sure it was okay before handing it to her.
A ray of pale golden sunlight streamed through the window, making Ling Xi's face appear much brighter than before.
Zhi Rou stared at her intently, and when she noticed, she realized it was impolite. Her eyelashes fluttered, and she quickly lowered her eyes.
Those exceptionally beautiful eyes reminded Ling Xi of the ferocious beasts from the Western Regions she had seen in pictures before, as if "it" had suddenly crouched down and buried its head in the grass.
She couldn't help but laugh, slowly stirring the soup with the ladle: "The cook won't be careless anymore, you don't need to taste it yourself every time." Then she asked, "Aren't you going out today?"
"I'm waiting for Wei Yuanzhan; he hasn't arrived yet."
Thinking back to that adorable little boy from back then, Ling Xi's eyes crinkled into a smile, and she didn't press the matter further.
After finishing half a cup of mutton soup, he thought of Chen'er, who had not visited the Song residence for a long time. He wanted to ask Zhi Rou if she was well, but for some reason he suppressed his urge and instead arranged a few dishes for her.
Since Chen'er returned, Zhi Rou has been somewhat cautious in her words and actions.
Ling Xi was puzzled, but vaguely felt that she seemed worried that she could not win her favor. However, upon closer inspection, her behavior was open and honest, and there was nothing wrong with it.
Zhi Rou seemed to be able to see through Ling Xi's thoughts: "Actually... Su Du fought with someone outside the city a few days ago and was injured. I was afraid you would worry, so I didn't dare to tell you. Now, he should be almost fully recovered and will definitely come to visit Mother."
Ling Xi paused slightly, her heart aching: "Rou'er..."
Upon hearing this, Zhi Rou immediately smiled and said that she had to go teach her third sister how to shoot arrows, so she got up and said, "I will come to keep Mother company later."
From childhood to adulthood, Zhi Rou has never been one to avoid problems. No matter how clumsy or rough her methods are, she will always face them head-on. But this is the only thing that makes her want to escape.
Instinctively, she didn't like discussing Sudu with her mother.
"Rou'er!" Ling Xi pulled up her seat, not allowing her to leave.
The slightly higher tone of his voice made Zhi Rou sense a hint of sternness. She had no choice but to stop, turn around with her boots tumbling, and try to force a smile again, but she couldn't.
Zhi Rou's eyebrows were lowered, like a wounded little animal, and she looked at her recklessly.
For some reason, Ling Xi felt a tightness in her chest, and after a while, she calmed her tone and said, "Is practicing archery in such a hurry? Can't you... talk to me a little longer?"
Zhi Rou is good at expressing herself; she will vent any dissatisfaction through words before taking action.
But lately, she rarely expresses her emotions in words, and just awkwardly stays by Lingxi's side.
Upon hearing the soft voice, Zhi Rou suddenly let out a sound of grievance, her fingers gradually clenching: "What I want to say... no matter what I ask, will Mother tell me?"
Once the emotions were unleashed, the rest of the words naturally poured out.
She looked at Ling Xi, her clear eyes shimmering with tears: "Why is Mother avoiding me? Did I do something wrong? What is it between you and Su Du that you can't say to my face?"
Their almost identical eyes met with deep emotion, and in that instant, Ling Xi's mind flashed back to the day Chen'er first came to see her.
A knock sounded at the door: "Mother, Young Master Feng has arrived."
It was noon, and the warm sunlight streamed into the room. Ling Xi got up a little hastily, but her voice was restrained: "Please come in."
Zhi Rou pushed open the door and stepped inside first. Compared to the pleasant spring breeze outside the window, the room was much warmer. Ling Xi sat on the couch, the sunlight only illuminating half of her face.
After about ten steps, the man Zhi Rou brought stepped in from outside the door. He was as graceful as a pine tree or a crane, possessing the elegance of a scholar and the martial prowess of a general.
It's very similar to what we often encounter.
Ling Xi's gaze immediately fell on him, and her usually dignified eyes now held a flickering brilliance.
She carefully examined the person and found that it was indeed an unfamiliar figure, so different from the youthful appearance she remembered.
The man had a deep and serene expression. He stood there for a while before bowing to her and saying, "This junior greets Lady Ling."
That voice sounded calm and steady, yet it also seemed to be suppressing something deeply.
Ling Xi tried her best to suppress the twitching corners of her lips and smiled at him: "Please sit down." She added, "I am used to living in seclusion and rarely interact with outsiders, so we had to meet here. Please forgive my lack of etiquette, Young Master Feng."
The sound that entered his ears was almost identical to what he had heard in the past, only now it had been tempered by time, carrying a firm and profound quality. Su Du slowly closed his hands, which had been hanging by his sides, and sat down on the stool next to him as instructed.
Zhi Rou stood not far away, with a round stool next to her but she refused to sit down, as if she was ready to leave at any moment.
"I heard from Rou'er that Young Master Feng used to live in Beili, and only returned to Yanjing at the beginning of this year. How did you get to the north?" Ling Xi asked.
Su Du remained silent for a moment, then lowered his eyelashes: "When I was young, my family suffered a misfortune and I was separated from my relatives. I fled north. Fortunately, I was rescued by a hunter in the north, which allowed me to survive."
The family suffered a misfortune, and relatives were separated.
The words came out of his mouth in a calm tone, but they didn't sound natural. He kept his eyes down, adopting the posture of a junior listening to the teachings of an elder, his back straight, without ever raising his eyes.
Ling Xi's nose tingled first, her throat felt like it was blocked, and her gaze never left him.
To be honest, the young man in front of me had no resemblance to Chen'er at all. He was reserved and quiet, dressed plainly, with strong hands on his knees and a darker complexion than most people.
Looking closely at his features, her prominent brow bones seemed to be a feature inherited from the Chang family lineage. Because his eyelids were lowered, it was difficult to see his whole face, but she couldn't help but think that such a person was quite nice sitting in front of her.
If it really is Chen'er... my heart felt as if it had been crushed by a pair of giant hands, aching and sluggish.
Ling Xi couldn't imagine what that arrogant and spoiled child, who, despite his martial spirit, still possessed the demeanor of a noble young master, had gone through to be able to settle down on the grasslands, and what kind of suffering he had endured to become, as Zhi Rou had said, a ruthless and bloodthirsty demon who walked on the edge of a knife.
As I briefly pictured the decades she had been absent from my mind, I realized that she had reached her limit and could only grip her thighs tightly with her wrists, breathing rapidly.
Su Du saw her movement, immediately got up and walked to the bedside, reaching out to support her.
A moment later, Ling Xi raised her eyes and met the man's gaze as he looked down. His eyes were exactly the same as Zhi Rou's and Chang Yu's, filled with complex and profound emotions.
She suddenly didn't know what to say, nor how much effort she had to put in to keep herself from losing control in front of the child.
The door creaked open, and Zhi Rou quietly slipped out.
The pressure on his arm eased slightly, and he slowly straightened up, maintaining a proper distance from her. He glanced at the door for a moment, but said nothing.
Ling Xi clearly sensed something from Zhi Rou's departure, but she wasn't sure, and because she was emotional, she put aside that unknown thought for the time being.
Her voice was low and hoarse as she looked at him again, a slight smile playing on her lips: "Rou'er is a restless soul, just like her brother. Before she was even born, her brother was already planning to teach her to climb vines, pick fruit, find water, and catch fish. It's just a pity they couldn't grow up together..."
Upon hearing this, Su suppressed the pain rising in his throat and sat down again.
The figure on the couch was somewhat frail, and spoke slowly, his voice choked with emotion: "The great changes that befell the young master have also been experienced by these two children. It's just that Rou'er was too young, and Chen'er... he was only seven years old at the time. He was born into wealth and privilege, surrounded by admirers... That winter it rained all the time, and I don't know how he managed to leave the capital and go to such a faraway place..."
Su recalled his bloodied and mangled feet from years ago. At that time, he no longer felt pain; only longing and hatred filled his body.
If he had been any more timid, or if his attachment to his parents had been any deeper, Boyan would not have had the chance to take him away. Nor would he be able to face his mother in person as he is now.
He wanted to offer words of comfort, but when he looked into her eyes, which were filled with tenderness, his chest tightened suddenly.
Lies cannot be uttered, and the truth is too heartbreaking.
After a long while, he said softly, "Where the heart leads, there will eventually be a way... This is the best possible outcome. The rest is insignificant."
Ling Xi didn't know what she wanted to hear.
She couldn't let go of what he had gone through; but if he were to confide in her, she feared she wouldn't be able to bear listening.
She managed a final smile, tears welling in her eyes, one already sliding down her cheek. Ling Xi quickly wiped them away and turned to look at the figure pacing outside the window.
“When she was little, she always envied others who had brothers and sisters. When she saw older children, she would always call them ‘brother’ or ‘sister’, which was very endearing. Once, she was playing in the river with the children from the private school. When I went to pick her up, she was holding onto a boy’s sleeve and wouldn’t let go. She was only four years old at the time.”
Recalling this, Ling Xi couldn't help but shake her head with a smile. The wind blowing through the window ruffled her hair, and she raised her hand to smooth it.
“When we got home, I asked her if the child had bullied her and that's why she wouldn't let go. She shook her head and said no, she just wished she had an older brother too…”
Su Du's gaze fell through the window onto the woman who shared the same bloodline as him.
His childhood memories had faded, but when he looked at Zhirou, a touch of color would always rise in his chest and well up in his eyes, and his hands on his knees would slowly clench.
Later, in a long silence, Ling Xi suddenly heard a barely audible "Mother," her eyelids twitched violently, and she looked at Su Du.
He forced a heavy smile and called out, "Mother..."
Unable to continue, tears streamed down Ling Xi's face.
After that day, Su would visit the Song residence whenever she had free time, keeping quiet about her past in Beili. However, she would occasionally ask about some minor details from back then. Fearing that Zhi Rou might overthink things, she would try to get rid of her several times.
This only made Zhi Rou more annoyed; Ling Xi should have noticed it sooner.
Zhi Rou longs for an older brother, but Jin Chen is more than just an older brother to her. How could they willingly accept the affection they lack simply because of their different backgrounds?
The sunlight gradually streaming into the room stung her eyes, so Ling Xi covered her eyes with her hand and held Zhi Rou's hand.
"Chen'er and I aren't avoiding you; it's just that I don't want you to be burdened by these past events... Protecting you was my responsibility, not yours. Rou'er..."
Hearing her slightly choked voice, Zhi Rou's hands were trembling.
For a moment, he was speechless.
He slightly tightened his grip, squeezing back his hands, which had become more bony and weathered by time, and swallowed hard.
Before she could speak, he heard her say, "I understand you don't like me being confined to the house, and that I've kept things from you, but I'm just... just scared. Those three years you were gone, I really..."
Ling Xi paused mid-sentence.
Since Zhi Rou went north, she hasn't been able to get a good night's sleep.
Driven by similar emotions within her five internal organs, she was overwhelmed by them again after more than a decade. She remembered Chang Yu and all the faces of the Chang family time and time again.
If it weren't for Zhi Rou, she would have resolutely returned to the Chang family back then and would never have let anyone take Jin Chen away.
She had already lost it once, how could she endure a second time... the pain of having her heart ripped out and bones torn apart.
But fate is cruel; Zhi Rou, oblivious to the fact that this parting might be their last, comforted her, saying that she would do everything in her power to return to her side.
She felt incredibly guilty for not protecting Zhi Rou, and she also knew Zhi Rou's nature well. If she were to tell Zhi Rou everything, given Zhi Rou's impulsive and sincere nature, how could she not do something dangerous?
The indoor light cast Ling Xi and Zhi Rou's shadows onto the lattice screen.
"I dare not tell you everything, because these are things you shouldn't have to bear in the first place, and I don't want to see you disregarding yourself for me..."
Before she could finish speaking, two arms passed around her waist and embraced her tightly.
Zhi Rou was outgoing and passionate, and from a young age she loved to snuggle into her arms, babbling incessantly. As she grew up, although she was close to Ling Xi, she was no longer as clingy as she had been when she was a child; Ling Xi's way of expressing her feelings was traditional and reserved, rarely as direct as she was today, let alone taking the initiative to make contact.
Therefore, she didn't hug Zhirou on the day she returned to Beijing. Now, being held tightly in her arms, she realized that she had longed for this embrace for far too long...
She raised her arm and pulled her shoulder into her embrace.
"I won't ask anymore, Mother..." Zhi Rou's voice was low, her warm breath resting on Ling Xi's clothes, burning the skin of her shoulders and neck.
After the conversation began, Zhi Rou stayed at Xixiang Garden for a long time, and unusually, she talked to Ling Xi about the grasslands. She chatted and laughed until the sun began to set before finally leaving Xixiang Garden.
At night, the lights were turned on inside the house.
Zhi Rou's face was mostly bathed in candlelight as she meticulously worked out clues for the Chang Yu case. For some reason, she suddenly threw down her pen, and the completed paper was crumpled up by her.
Wei Yuanzhan broke his promise.
This isn't like him.
Zhi Rou gripped and released the crumpled piece of paper, her fingers clenching and unclenching in a hurry. She wanted to see him, right now.
She immediately got up and changed into a neat set of clothes before heading out. Xinghui bumped into her and said, "Miss, are you going out? It's already past 7 PM."
As Zhi Rou walked towards the entrance of the courtyard, she turned to Xing Hui and said, "Sister Xing Hui, you should go and rest. Don't worry about me."
Xinghui was unwilling to leave. She kept following her without stopping. Ever since the Fourth Miss had set a precedent of not returning home at night, she had been somewhat hesitant. So she asked, "Where are you going, Miss?"
Zhi Rou answered honestly: "I'm going to see Wei Yuanzhan."
"It's so late, Miss. Can't you wait until tomorrow to say what you want to say? If the Third Miss comes looking for you again, I really don't know what to do..."
Before she could finish speaking, Zhi Rou paused and replied reassuringly, "If Third Sister asks, just tell her the truth. She understands and won't make things difficult for you or me."
Upon hearing her say this, Xinghui suddenly felt something was amiss: "Miss..."
The sound was too soft, and too late.
Zhi Rou slipped into Jue Zi.
That was the Third Miss's courtyard, and Xinghui didn't follow any further.
Before long, Zhi Rou took the shortest route to Qufei Lane, skillfully took a horse, and galloped away.
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