Chapter 61 I don't want you to be willing.
The bathroom was silent; the two sat side by side, neither of them uttering a sound.
Leng Cuizhu lowered her head and slowly slid down, letting the warm water engulf her exposed shoulders and spread to her neck.
She was a little unsure how to face Yin Yuan.
They hadn't been this open with each other in a long time; in the past decade or so, such occasions could be counted on one hand.
He was always travel-worn, and even when they were intimate, she was always completely naked, while he never let his clothes get undone. They also rarely bathed together, since the bathtub at home was too small to fit two people.
She used to look forward to such intimate moments, but a belated dream come true is ultimately rotten and decaying, and feeding it to her now would only backfire.
“Si Qing…”
Upon hearing this, the man turned to stare at her.
Even when his skin was soaked in warm water, it did not blush at all; instead, it was like frozen wax, smooth and pale.
He didn't answer, but reached out and pulled her into his arms.
Leng Cuizhu was stunned for a moment, then floated into the man's arms. The back of her hand touched the man's long hair floating on the water. The hair was like seaweed, and as soon as she touched it, it entangled her hand. The more she struggled, the more tangled it became. She had no choice but to grab that strand of hair, as if she had grabbed some kind of handle.
"At a time like this, you still want to bring him up?" Yin Yuan frowned, neither confirming nor denying.
Even though Yin Yuan's expression was already quite grim, she still asked, "How is Si Qing?"
The hand that had been on her shoulder suddenly withdrew from behind.
"What's wrong? Why aren't you replying to me? Didn't you go deal with him this morning?"
She leaned closer, staring at the man's profile: "Are you angry?"
"……Um."
“Your affair caused trouble at the government office, and you refused to leave the city no matter what. I had no choice but to convict you and have someone send you out of the city.”
Hearing that the crisis was over, she relaxed and her tone softened: "He's always been like this...you know that, don't be angry with him, it's not worth getting angry over him."
The man's face darkened further: "Why would I be angry with him?"
Is she genuinely ignorant, or is she pretending to be confused when she knows the truth?
"I don't know either... How would I know why you're angry with him?" Leng Cuizhu muttered, looking down. "Anyway, thank you for still being willing to help me. I thought you were extremely disappointed in me."
Although she didn't particularly like Yin Yuan, he had indeed helped her this time, so praising him wouldn't hurt, and she would appreciate it.
She looked up to see the man's reaction, but all she saw was his eyelashes tremble; nothing else.
This was certainly not what she wanted.
She held the man's arm, stood on tiptoe, and kissed his cheek.
"Yin Yuan, I am so grateful to you. I don't know what I would have done without you..."
She blinked her watery eyes and sobbed softly on the man's shoulder.
It worked!
The man pulled her into his arms, their skin pressed together, and sighed, "I wasn't wrong. You just misjudged people and stubbornly refused to listen to advice."
"I want all kinds of goods."
"...It's good if you can correct your mistakes."
He raised his hand to wipe away the tears at the corners of her eyes.
She couldn't stop her tears and looked up to ask, "Do you think I'm stupid?"
"Are you that smart?"
After saying that, Yin Yuan immediately added, "No."
Yin Yuan had always known that Leng Cuizhu was foolish.
Not only are they foolish, but they are also ignorant, shallow, and overly sentimental.
But he could tolerate it, even if she humiliated him.
Because he is also a superficial person, he inevitably falls into vulgarity.
In the past, he had no choice in many things, but Leng Cuizhu was the only decision he could make.
This relationship may be a mistake, and it may cause him to sink deeper and deeper into pain and resentment, but he ultimately cannot let go of it.
Long ago, he wanted to tell her in person that he loved her, because he could never leave her because of love, but the words just wouldn't come out of his mouth.
I can only repeat it silently in my heart over and over again.
When I can't see her.
When he saw her being intimate with another man.
He can tolerate all of that.
Because he loves her.
Will you go to see him again?
Even if she went to find him, she wouldn't let Yin Yuan know. Leng Cuizhu shook her head: "No."
The man glanced at her: "That's what I said last time."
“You have to believe me,” she said with a smile, gently stroking the furrow between the man’s brows. “He’s not as good as you, not even close to you, and he even tried to harm me… so I won’t go looking for him.”
"My lord, please come visit me more often in the future. I'm very lonely staying at home alone."
"Lonely?"
The man scoffed lightly, his face expressionless: "I'm lonely too."
"You were so busy with your own affairs that you probably didn't have time to think about my situation?"
"No, that's not it," she mumbled, rubbing her eyelids. "I'm thinking about you, I think about you every day. I'm actually afraid you'll forget me."
Despite saying that, she secretly didn't want Yin Yuan to come looking for her more often. Si Qing had left the city; she needed to find out his whereabouts as soon as possible and devise a plan.
If Yin Yuan keeps coming to see her, it will cause her trouble.
The man stared at her, remaining silent for a long time.
She couldn't wait any longer. Her wet hand slid down and touched the man's chest. She splashed water on him and put on a coquettish pose, whispering in his ear.
"This bath is so big, wouldn't it be a waste not to do something with it?"
She pretended to fall against him, and the man caught her firmly and carried her to the steps of the bathtub.
Leng Cuizhu sat on the steps, looking down at the man: "Aren't you going to sit down?"
Yin Yuan raised his eyelids, gazed at her for a long time, and without replying, opened his lips and pressed them against hers.
Caught off guard.
She tilted her head back.
Yin Yuan's actions are just like his personality; no matter how intense the situation, he will not make a sound, but will simply hold it in his mouth and swallow it silently.
But to her, it was like a raging flood or a ferocious beast.
The only sound in the bathroom was the occasional splashing of water.
She slumped on the steps, looking up at the dark-colored bathrobe hanging on the rack beside her.
"Aren't you coming up?" She wiped the water from her forehead. "The water's getting a little cold."
After a while, the man went up the steps.
She re-pasted it.
She rested her head on his shoulder, her gaze looking down.
The man's chest and abdomen were covered with large and small flesh-colored scars, winding and twisting.
He also had them on his arms, intertwined with blue veins, with not only knife marks but also teeth marks.
The tooth mark was more vivid than the other wounds; the surrounding skin looked newly grown, pinkish-red.
Her eyes widened, and her lips parted in surprise.
She had assumed the injuries had healed, since Yin Yuan was alive and well, as if nothing had happened, giving her the illusion that none of those things had ever occurred.
Yin Yuan stared intently at her, watching her examine her own body and the sorrow and distress that unconsciously crept into her expression.
Why?
The way she looked at him was as if he were a tattered rag.
He suddenly pushed her away.
"……never mind."
Then, she got up and put on a yukata.
Leng Cuizhu looked at him blankly and asked, "Um... my clothes are over there, could you help me get them?"
"Um."
She stood up from the steps, hands behind her back, quietly waiting for the man to bring her clothes, water droplets dripping from her body.
Yin Yuan returned from behind the screen with the dress, but instead of simply handing it to her, he grabbed a strand of hair from her shoulder and used a cloth from the rack to dry it.
She froze, then looked up at him.
The man remained expressionless as always, with only a slight frown between his brows. He dried her hair and then wiped the water droplets from her shoulders and back, moving down her body silently until he had wiped her entire body.
Only then did he hand the dress to her.
"...Thank you." She smiled as she took the dress, inwardly thinking that Yin Yuan was really inexplicable, insisting on wiping her entire body, not missing a single spot or corner.
She bent down to put on her clothes, and just as she finished putting on her underwear, she noticed a chilling gaze above her.
She looked up and saw Yin Yuan staring at her, remaining silent.
He didn't stare at her face; his gaze only shifted to her face after she looked up.
He didn't say a word, just stared at her.
She felt a chill run down her spine from his gaze and timidly asked, "What's wrong?"
Did I do something wrong?
The man lowered his eyes and pointed to her chest.
A hickey appeared on her chest, seemingly out of nowhere. While soaking in the water, it wasn't noticeable amidst the many flower petals, but now, out of the bath, the red mark on her chest stood out starkly.
“Ah, this…” She was momentarily stunned.
When did she get a hickey on her chest? Thinking back over the past few days, there's no way she could have gotten one. The only time was when she accidentally fell asleep on Si Qing's bed and woke up feeling dizzy and disoriented.
"I don't know how it came about."
Yin Yuan withdrew his hand, offering neither praise nor criticism.
She silently put on her bodice, her hair a mess at the back of her neck, unable to tie the strap properly, and even pulling out a few strands of hair in pain.
Seeing Yin Yuan standing silently to the side, his eyelashes drooping and his interest low, she took the initiative to speak up: "I can't tie the ribbon, could you help me tie it?"
"……Um."
She smiled and leaned closer, then turned her back to him and pointed to the two straps draped over her shoulders.
"Be careful with your hair. Could you help me fix it before you tie it?"
"Um."
Her hair was carefully brushed aside, and even the fine downy hairs on the back of her neck were neatly combed.
While the man was fastening his belt, she asked, "Are you staring at me because you want to take a bite too?"
"...No." The man's voice was tinged with anger, perhaps indignation, or perhaps embarrassment and rage. "How many people have you said that to?"
"Nobody's there. That's just a mosquito bite; it's summer already, isn't it?"
"If you don't believe me, just touch it and see. Mosquito bites and hickeys are easy to distinguish by touch, right?"
"..."
"Husband, don't be angry," she turned to comfort him, smiling brightly at his gloomy face. "After you finish your shift, let's have a late-night snack together, okay? What do you want to eat? I'll cook it for you myself."
"It's up to you." The man fastened his belt, his tone softening. "If you want to buy groceries, just go to the accounting office and ask for money. They won't stop you."
"I'd rather not. Your cooking is terrible, either too salty or too bland." He looked away and sighed.
Moreover, you said that the oil splattering from the pan scared you.
You said you hate it when you sweat too much while cooking and it ruins your makeup.
You said you were willing and only wanted to be my virtuous wife and loving mother.
But Lingniang, I don't need it.
I don't want you to accept this.
My damned pride prevents me from saying it out loud.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
