Su Yan had seen expressions like this before, and many times.
In reality, after an unknown amount of time, when she saw Zi'an Jun's expression again, she was actually a little stunned, and she couldn't help but recall every day and night in the Great Sheng Dynasty.
Su Yan knew that she was a person who could not rest for a day unless she dealt with the mess. Even though she was aware of her physical condition and knew that it would take too long to review memorials, whenever she really reviewed memorials and focused on dealing with the mess, she would always forget the time and spend the whole day on one batch.
And every time at this time, her imperial husband, An Jun, would come over and do nothing but stare at her with a wronged look, not eating or drinking, just sitting there motionless. The sound of her stomach growling with hunger could even be heard from her side, which made her suddenly come to her senses and realize that it was getting late and it was time for dinner. She then closed the letter and hurriedly had dinner with her imperial husband.
This went on day after day, and Su Yan felt a little helpless. Zi'anjun's temper had worsened since his marriage, and he wouldn't listen to anything she said, and still showed up every day.
Now that she thinks about it, Zi'an Jun was also a prince of the previous dynasty. No matter how absurd the previous Emperor of the Great Zhou was, he was the one who educated the next emperor. For example, when he was still the crown prince, he had helped the emperor deal with many of these court affairs. If she really asked Zi'an Jun to help deal with them, it would definitely be a lot easier.
But unfortunately, at that time, she had arranged everything for her after death, even choosing the successor. But during her lifetime, she still had many concerns. She was concerned about Zi'an Jun's identity as the crown prince of the previous dynasty and did not allow him to get involved in court affairs. In terms of his status in the court, he was worse than a trusted minister under her command, even though she intended for him to take over her position after her death.
If she had been more at ease and courageous at that time, then perhaps when she died in her previous life, she would not have died so miserably and suddenly. At least she could have said goodbye to him properly and told him that when she was just a commoner in the mountains, she had the honor of meeting the heroic Crown Prince of the Great Zhou.
At that time, she, a commoner from the mountains, was thinking that it would be great if he was the one who became the emperor of the Zhou Dynasty. If it was the crown prince, he would surely bring them a peaceful and prosperous era.
Unfortunately, fate played such a trick on her. Even Su Yan could not have imagined that she would become the one to overthrow the Great Zhou. She never expected that the person who would sit in that position in the end would be herself. She became afraid like the emperor of the previous dynasty, fearing that the heroic former crown prince of the Great Zhou would snatch her power during her lifetime, making all her previous efforts go to waste.
But now think about it, if Zi'an Jun had such intention, he would not stay and marry her. He also had many opportunities to offer to help deal with the affairs of the court when she was busy, but he did not. He never made such a request. He came to her every day to watch her review memorials, probably just because he was afraid that she would miss the time and forget to eat.
Perhaps, as early as that time, Zi'an Jun had already noticed that her health was beginning to fail.
Thinking of this, time and space seemed to overlap at this moment. They were Su Yan and Zi'an Jun, but they were not the same Su Yan and Zi'an Jun as before.
Seeing Qin Zian in front of him with a silent and aggrieved expression on his face, his half-long black hair was a little wet because of the rain outside. The rain flowed along the ends of his hair and landed on Qin Zian's face, and finally fell down with a "pat pat" sound and fell to the ground.
Su Yan finally couldn't bear it anymore and couldn't help but sighed. He reached out and took the only dry towel at hand, waved in the direction of Qin Zian, and said with a sigh:
"Come here, let me wipe your hair. You're already such a grown-up, but you can't even take care of yourself? You're walking around with a head full of water. What if you catch a cold? In this desolate mountain area, even a minor illness would be a disaster. Not to mention that you're the mainstay of this show. If you collapse, Director Zhang will probably cry..."
After being scolded like this, Qin Zian's face not only did not show any sign of anger, but he was very well-behaved. He walked to Su Yan with his head lowered and let Su Yan help him wipe it.
After a long, long time, Qin Zian murmured softly, and whispered: "So you admit it, Su Yan...?"
Hearing this, Su Yan paused in wiping her wet hair, but soon she resumed wiping as if nothing had happened. As she did so, she said, "Okay, I admit it. Be good. Come on, lower your head a little, or I can't reach the back of you."
"Okay, then I'll squat down a little more, like this, can I wipe it off like this?"
"Yeah, I rubbed it."
"Su Yan..."
"Hmm? I'm listening. What's up?"
"It's nothing, it's just... if I don't tell you, when are you going to acknowledge me? How long are you going to keep this secret from me?"
“…”
"If you don't admit it, you'll keep it a secret forever."
“…”
As smart as Qin Zian was, how could he not understand what Su Yan meant now? He was even very clear that what Su Yan said, "If you don't recognize me, I will hide it for the rest of my life," was true, not false. She was even doing that now. It was likely that Su Yan had recognized him when they first met at the port, but she did not come to recognize him, and even did not want him to know that it was her.
Qin Zian felt a dull pain in his chest at the thought of such a possibility, even though he knew in his heart that this was no longer the Great Sheng Dynasty and that they had no relationship in this world. In the past, it was forced by the situation and she had no choice, but now no one could restrain her. She could either give up him or choose someone better than him.
Qin Zian thought about this very clearly. He had even analyzed it this way a long time ago and thought it was a very normal thing. But when this day really came, Qin Zian found it difficult to accept it, even if it was just a little bit, he found it difficult to accept!
After enduring for a while, Qin Zian finally couldn't hold it back anymore. He raised his head, stared at Su Yan's face, and said in a hoarse voice:
"But you recognize me now, don't you? Does that mean your mind has changed? We can still be together, right?"
To be honest, at first, Su Yan really didn't intend to recognize him, but she didn't expect the situation to develop to this point. Now that she has been recognized, there is no point in hiding. Also, she has to admit that she is still touched by Zi Anjun in front of her. It was just a brief contact, but he actually calmed her down.
Moreover, she had always said that what she could not bear the most, whether in the past or now, was Zi'an-jun's soft and pleading voice and expression. Just one glance could easily make her collapse.
Finally, Su Yan sighed deeply, threw away the towel in his hand, reached out and held Qin Zian's face, reluctantly but involuntarily pressed a deep kiss on his lips. After a long while, he tried to calm his panting breath and whispered hoarsely in Qin Zian's ear:
"I don't know if we can still be together, but if you want, maybe we can give it another try..."
In this life, let’s try again and see if we can continue to walk together.
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