Chapter 36
The small area of skin contact made Xie Ning lose his strength instantly. The body radiating heat and the body close at hand made Xie Ning have an especially strong desire.
Xie Ning slowly raised his head, and his eyes became hazy and wet. He stretched out his hand, trying to get some physical contact, but when his palm was about to touch Pei Zhi's cheek, he suddenly woke up and changed the action of touching to pushing Pei Zhi away.
But his wrist was held back. The slender wrist bones were loosely restrained in the big hand. The moment their skin touched, Xie Ning suddenly lost her strength and could only lean on Pei Zhi's arms, breathing hard.
Pei Zhi was afraid that Xie Ning would struggle, so he held Xie Ning tightly in his arms and turned on the light with his free hand.
The suddenly bright vision allowed Pei Zhi to see Xie Ning's expression very clearly. Xie Ning, who was always cold and distant, had a flushed face and his eyes were wet and almost lustful. He was still breathing softly, and his expression was confused and charming.
Pei Zhi, who was aggressive and fierce just now, suddenly lost his balance.
He thought he had hurt Xie Ning, and quickly loosened his arms a little, but Xie Ning had no strength and could only lean on him. He gritted his teeth and stretched out his arms to hold Xie Ning tightly again.
It was raining outside, Xie Ning's hair was a little wet, and there was a layer of water droplets on the surface of her down jacket. The dormitory was air-conditioned in advance, and Pei Zhi turned up the temperature a little, then took off Xie Ning's down jacket, revealing the black base underneath.
The black made his skin look even whiter, and also made the red color that came out from under his skin look very visually effective.
Pei Zhi couldn't even utter the words to question, and he didn't know where to look. Like a young boy in adolescence who was completely bewitched by his sweetheart, he held his breath and concentrated, gently helping Xie Ning take off her shoes and socks.
The shoes were already soaked, but Pei Zhi, who had a slight obsession with cleanliness, didn't care at all. He held Xie Ning's ankles, lifted them up a little, and let Xie Ning step on his expensive windbreaker.
After the shoes and socks were taken off, the white feet that were frozen and a little pink were exposed. Pei Zhi stared at them for a moment, shifted his gaze, wrapped them up in the windbreaker, and threw them aside like garbage.
Afterwards, he took out the cream paper from the drawer and slowly wiped Xie Ning's feet and the mud spots on her trousers. He
was careful and gentle throughout the process, and his expression was focused, as if he was worshipping Xie Ning like a little ancestor.
Xie Ning had no idea what Pei Zhi was doing. He only knew that his feet were held in the palm of his hand, and after his skin thirst was satisfied, he looked dazed.
He was like bathing in the sun, accepting the embrace of the natural warm wind, and every pore on his body stretched out, and the satisfaction seemed to overflow.
It was even a little too much.
Xie Ning's breathing became more and more urgent. He had been trying hard to suppress it these past few days, but now he was full all at once, like a person who was trying to lose weight and was suddenly fed all at once.
His remaining rationality made him struggle, and he wanted to get off Pei Zhi's legs. Pei Zhi noticed his intention, and his legs naturally spread apart, and his legs that were sitting on Pei Zhi's legs were also forced to open.
His body became unbalanced, and Xie Ning's small body swayed for a while, and finally he could only lean back and fall into Pei Zhi's arms.
Her hair was already messy, and her delicate and beautiful face was no longer as cold as before, but full of restrained blush. Xie Ning's eyebrows and eyes showed a rare panic. He bit his lip, his eyes were moist and red, and he looked forbearing.
There was a kind of pitiful sense of being at the mercy of others.
Pei Zhi originally wanted to question Xie Ning, but because Xie Ning's body was a little wet, he knew that Xie Ning had a cleanliness obsession, so he helped Xie Ning wipe his feet.
After wiping his feet, he would continue to question Xie Ning.
But seeing Xie Ning's face that was a little too beautiful, Pei Zhi's brain seemed to have run away from home. He completely forgot what to question and what to say. If time was longer, he might even forget his last name and what his name was.
Although Xie Ning had just come back from outside, he seemed to be very hot. His lips were slightly parted, and moist white air overflowed from the gap between his lips.
There was a fragrance lingering around. Pei Zhi lowered his head and smelled it. Sure enough, it was fragrant.
The light in the dormitory was not that bright, and many classmates even joked that it was like the dim light in a horror movie. But now, the warm light shone on Xie Ning, making Xie Ning's skin covered with a layer of fine sweat shine like a diamond.
Pei Zhi couldn't control himself. He wiped his hands repeatedly with disinfectant tissues and wet wipes before gently touching Xie Ning's cheek.
He was only prepared to touch it, but Xie Ning immediately put her face close to him and rubbed her face against his palm unconsciously. His expression was dull and blank, as if he was confused. And
a little obedient.
"Xie Ning." Pei Zhi called softly, "Why are you..."
Why are you avoiding me.
He didn't dare to ask directly. He probably knew the reason, and Xie Ning didn't say it, maybe because she wanted to save some face between the two of them.
But he really couldn't stand Xie Ning's alienation from him. After experiencing enough intimacy with Xie Ning, Xie Ning suddenly kept a distance, which gave him too much of a gap. He couldn't accept it, but didn't know how to remedy it. However
, even if Pei Zhi asked, Xie Ning couldn't give an answer.
Xie Ning was sitting on Pei Zhi's legs, with her legs against Pei Zhi's thighs. The hug that he hadn't had for a long time made him miss it very much. He raised his head to rub Pei Zhi's neck and cheek. His body was a little crooked, so Pei Zhi held his waist and asked him to sit steadily.
As soon as he sat steadily, his body shook violently. But despite this, he still held his cheek and rubbed it against Pei Zhi's face.
The soft cheek was rubbed slightly pink. Xie Ning was sweating. The faint fragrance made Pei Zhi turn his head uncontrollably and sniff his hair with his tall nose.
"It smells good." He murmured to himself.
Pei Zhi was immersed in it for a while, and soon found something wrong.
His face flushed instantly because Xie Ning's hand suddenly reached into his collar.
Xie Ning's hair was almost wet, sticking to her snow-white skin, creating a stunning beauty. But he was always seeking physical contact, putting his face against Pei Zhi's, or putting his hand into Pei Zhi's collar and touching him randomly.
Pei Zhi suddenly remembered the information he had searched on the Internet before.
Information about skin hunger.
Pei Zhi had read many patients' accounts, and some serious patients would especially crave physical contact when they were ill. If someone could satisfy his need for touch at this time, he would get a pleasure more pleasurable than an orgasm.
Although there are some exaggerated descriptions, it is enough to illustrate how strong the sense of satisfaction that limb touch brings to patients with skin hunger is.
And now Xie Ning's performance is consistent with the description on the Internet.
Even more bizarre is Xie Ning's expression. His eyebrows and eyes revealed a color of satisfaction, his eyelashes kept trembling as if he couldn't bear it, and there was even transparent saliva looming at the corners of his lips.
Really... is it so comfortable?
"Xie Ning."
Pei Zhi shouted again. He saw Xie Ning raise his head a beat late, and the crystal corners of his lips reflected an alluring glimmer under the light.
He knew it was not a good question to ask, but he still hesitated and asked, "...Do you have skin hunger?"
Xie Ning suddenly woke up.
His shoulders trembled, and a trace of moisture appeared at the corner of his eyes.
Xie Ning's secret was finally discovered.
...
Xie Ning gradually came to his senses.
His wet down jacket had been changed, and his soaked shoes and socks had been taken off. The mud spots on his trousers and feet were carefully wiped, and his pair of white feet were clean and white. It
was obvious who had done the credit.
Xie Ning was silent for a long time, and finally admitted: "Yes, I have it."
This was the first time that Xie Ning told this secret to anyone other than the doctor.
Xie Ning briefly explained his condition and the treatment plan given by the doctor. Pei Zhi was so smart that he would not fail to understand what he meant.
The reason why Xie Ning became friends with Pei Zhi was probably because of this skin hunger.
Before, Xie Ning never communicated too much with others in the dormitory. When he occasionally talked, he would only give polite official replies such as "Hello", "Thank you", "OK", and "Thank you". For him, he didn't need to make friends at school, and roommates were just strangers who lived together temporarily, so there was no need to establish social friendships.
And this kind of socializing was a waste of time for him.
After Xie Ning finished speaking, he didn't say anything, he remained silent. He was still sitting on Pei Zhi's legs, and even Pei Zhi's big hand was holding his waist, as if to prevent him from running away.
Sometimes when he talked about some parts, the fingers on his lower abdomen would move subconsciously. The itchy touch made him feel satisfied and tortured.
Confessing while sitting on the lap is not a very decent picture. Not to mention that Xie Ning's face is flushed and her hair is wet, which is really terrible.
He knows that he is in the wrong. No one will be happy to be touched with such a purpose, so he drooped his eyelashes with a guilty conscience.
Even if Pei Zhi wants to scold him next, he will not say anything.
It was raining heavily outside, and the sound of raindrops hitting the glass sounded chilly. Pei Zhi raised his arm, and Xie Ning was stunned, thinking that Pei Zhi was so angry that he wanted to hit him, and he closed his eyes subconsciously-
a thick blanket wrapped him.
Pei Zhi wrapped Xie Ning tightly and asked, "Are you cold?"
Xie Ning shook her head: "No."
Pei Zhi nodded slightly, as long as she wasn't cold. He asked again: "So, you are friends with me for the purpose of curing the disease?"
Pei Zhi was indeed very sensitive and he extracted the key information so quickly.
His penetrating eyes and concise sentences directly pointed out Xie Ning's purpose. Xie Ning wanted to keep a little distance, but she couldn't keep a distance because she was held on his lap.
Xie Ning was forced to fill the gap between Pei Zhi and the table, with his back against Pei Zhi's chest. His hands were on the edge of the table in front of him, and his knuckles were a little white because of the tightness of his fingers.
"Yeah." He lowered his eyelids, "It's for the purpose of curing the disease."
Xie Ning was ready for Pei Zhi to get angry.
But Pei Zhi asked, "Why don't you continue?"
Xie Ning was stunned. He raised his eyelashes slightly and stared at his suddenly curled fingers. Pei Zhi's voice continued to be heard from above: "Is the disease cured?"
Xie Ning: "Not yet."
"Then why don't you continue?" Pei Zhi asked, "Why do you want to distance yourself from me?"
"Why do you want to move out? Why do you ignore me and ignore me?" Pei Zhi lowered his head and rested his forehead against Xie Ning's hair. "I know I made you unhappy. I'm sorry. I apologize to you and I will change."
"But can you... not ignore me?"
Xie Ning was really confused by the continuous whys. He thought the scene would be severe questioning and disappointment. The only thing he didn't expect was this kind of Pei Zhi, this... aggrieved Pei Zhi.
Xie Ning: "I didn't ignore you, I'm just a little busy recently."
Pei Zhi would no longer believe this statement. He was silent for a moment and said softly: "Do you know..."
Xie Ning interrupted immediately: "I don't know."
Pei Zhi was determined: "You know."
Xie Ning had been pretending to be stupid. He could treat the voices he heard as illusions, just like deceiving himself. But now, Pei Zhi was determined to make him face the reality.
Pei Zhi continued, "You know I like you."
The glass covering the heart seemed to be broken, and the fragments shattered into pieces, and the crisp sound shook in the ears. Xie Ning pursed her lips, and didn't know how to face Pei Zhi. Xie
Ning had met many suitors, but Pei Zhi was the one who made him most at a loss. He supported himself on the table with both hands, trying to get up, and began to talk nonsense: "I'm leaving. I just came back to get something."
Pei Zhi did not stop him. He stood up with Xie Ning and said, "Okay."
Xie Ning opened the closet, and the originally empty closet was filled, and most of the clothes were bought by Pei Zhi. He was silent for a moment, and Pei Zhi's voice came from behind him again.
"If you feel that my feelings for you cause you trouble, I will move out, and you don't need to move out for this." Pei Zhi said, "This is not your problem."
"If you don't want me to disturb you, I can stay away from you. Change dormitories, or do something else."
"..." Not because of this. Xie Ning's eyelashes trembled, and she casually picked up a coat, "I'll go out first."
Pei Zhi: "Okay."
Pei Zhi's attitude was cold, as if he really didn't care whether Xie Ning wanted to leave or not. It was raining heavily outside, and he didn't mean to stop Xie Ning.
He had a blank expression on his face, and he looked as proud as a lone wolf, but his heart was as humble as a puppy.
"Don't go."
"Don't go..."
Xie Ning was upset. He still hadn't figured out how to face Pei Zhi. How could they become like this when they were good friends? But Pei Zhi's inner voice was too pitiful. He softened his heart and just as he slowed down his steps, he was suddenly hugged from behind.
The moment he fell into his arms, his inner voice and reality overlapped.
Pei Zhi's breath was hot on the back of Xie Ning's neck. His voice was hoarse with a strong sense of grievance and pleading. "Don't go..."
Xie Ning's fingers slowly tightened.
"Pei Zhi." Xie Ning said frankly, "I approached you on purpose before because I have skin hunger. If I didn't have skin hunger, we might not have become familiar with each other. To put it bluntly, I just used you... Do you want to be used by me?"
Xie Ning's words were a bit exaggerated. He didn't approach Pei Zhi on purpose, nor did he use Pei Zhi on purpose. He did have a certain liking for Pei Zhi, and it was natural for the two to get to know each other.
But he was right about one thing. If he didn't have skin hunger, he wouldn't have become so familiar with Pei Zhi so quickly.
Pei Zhi asked back: "Why do you think I would be unwilling?"
"Even if you just use me, even if you just treat me as a tool, it doesn't matter. Am I still useful to you now? I'm not unwilling, I'm willing."
The tall figure looked particularly weak as he bent down and lowered his head. Pei Zhi was taller than Xie Ning and had a bigger advantage, but now, he was the one at a disadvantage. He kept repeating, "As long as..."
"As long as you don't leave."
Xie Ning looked indifferent, but he was actually very soft-hearted. Facing such a weak Pei Zhi, he couldn't help but hesitate.
Not to mention, he liked to have physical contact with Pei Zhi.
Pei Zhi said, "I can help you."
As he spoke, all the wet and sticky heat fell on Xie Ning's skin.
Xie Ning was a little bit nervous, turned her head and let out a soft hum.
Pei Zhi froze, and Xie Ning explained, "You were too close..."
"Sorry," Pei Zhi pulled a little distance away, "Is this distance okay?"
Xie Ning was about to say yes, Pei Zhi said again, "But I want to be closer to you."
Pei Zhi repeated again: "I am still useful to you, right? I can help you, I'm willing to."
Xie Ning sighed: "I'm afraid I will become dependent, and dependence is not a good thing."
Pei Zhi: "If it is permanent, dependence doesn't matter, right?"
He made a suggestion, "Then you can lock me up, tie me up with a rope, touch me however you want, and strip me naked if you want. In short, do whatever you want, I'll listen to you."
Xie Ning raised his eyelashes, he had never thought about these, but these words came out of the person's mouth. He opened his lips, but couldn't say a word.
"Are you scared?" Pei Zhi asked.
Xie Ning nodded her chin slightly.
"Cute." Pei Zhi reached out and stroked the ends of Xie Ning's hair, and said softly, "Stupid."
They were very close, and the air flow from Pei Zhi's words fell on Xie Ning's skin. His hoarse voice was almost close to her ear, making Xie Ning's ears hot.
Xie Ning turned her head away: "Don't talk like that."
"Okay, I won't talk like that." Pei Zhi coaxed. A few seconds later, he said again, "You are afraid that if you stay in contact with me for a long time, your needs will become greater and greater, and it will be increasingly impossible to satisfy them, right?"
Xie Ning didn't really want to discuss this with Pei Zhi. But Pei Zhi continued to analyze, "Maybe before, it only takes a simple touch, but after a long time of contact, the threshold will also increase. Later, it may take a hug, holding hands, and later, it may take..."
Xie Ning raised her head, and while looking at each other, Pei Zhi slowly said the last two words, "Kiss."
The two of them looked away at the same time, and then returned to normal. Xie Ning ignored her hot cheeks and said, "Well, I'm scared."
Pei Zhi asked, "Why are you scared? Do you think I'm dirty?"
He justified himself, "I'm still a virgin, and my first kiss is still there. I take a bath every day, pay attention to oral hygiene since I was a child, and go to the hospital for oral examinations regularly..."
Xie Ning seemed unable to listen any more. He just took a step back and was grabbed by the wrist and forcibly pulled into Pei Zhi's arms. Pei Zhi leaned down, almost coaxing, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't talk nonsense. I just want to explain that I like cleanliness."
"...Not because of this." Xie Ning said, "This is unfair to you."
He is the one who is sick, but Pei Zhi has to pay so much for him, which is too unfair.
"I like you and I want to please you. I don't need fairness."
Pei Zhi thought it was nothing at all. He likes Xie Ning and wants to pursue Xie Ning. Isn't it natural for him to pay? Besides, liking someone is not fair.
After a pause, he said, "I thought you were afraid that I would be too happy."
Just now when Xie Ning was unwilling to communicate with Pei Zhi, Pei Zhi looked pitiful, like a wet-haired puppy squatting on the side of the road in a storm.
Now that Xie Ning is willing to communicate with him, he is taking advantage of her and can't help saying some weird things.
Before she knew it, Xie Ning was hugged in his arms again. He said he was leaving not long ago, but now his butt is against Pei Zhi's thigh.
He didn't know how things turned out like this. He raised his head and said seriously, "Pei Zhi, you are not gay."
"You don't have to go to this extent, you really don't need to."
"I'm not gay?" Pei Zhi seemed surprised. He had confessed to Xie Ning, but Xie Ning still thought he was not gay? He said, "Who told you?"
Xie Ning: "You said it yourself."
Pei Zhi has said more than once that he is a straight man, 100% straight. And when he sees some homosexual photos, movies, or advertisements, he will show a look of obvious disgust.
Subconscious reactions don't lie.
Sexual orientation is not something that can be easily changed. It is basically determined by nature. Xie Ning doesn't think she has such great charm to be able to turn a straight man around.
Maybe Pei Zhi just had some misunderstandings because of their way of getting along, and had a wrong understanding of feelings, mistaking brotherhood for love.
"I said I was a straight man." Pei Zhi changed the subject, "But I also said that I was gay. I am gay now, not straight."
"Xie Ning, are you afraid that I am a homosexual? Are you homophobic?"
Xie Ning was speechless: "I didn't, but..."
"Or do you think I'm joking?" Pei Zhi hugged Xie Ning, like a giant, and held Xie Ning in his arms. His expression was happy and serious, "It would be great if you could hear my voice."
"Then you will know how serious I am."
Xie Ning: "..."
He really could hear it.
Xie Ning's silence made Pei Zhi approach again. He asked: "Why are you hiding from me?"
"Is it because you hate me and feel disgusted, and think that I am despicable and perverted for having such thoughts about you?" Pei Zhi moved closer, his deep black eyes carrying a kind of childish stubbornness. His tone gradually softened, "I'm not a pervert, I just... like you."
"...No." Xie Ning said, "I don't think so."
He paused for a long time before lowering his eyelids, "I don't know what to do, and I don't know how to face you. I always feel that this shouldn't be the case between us."
How could Pei Zhi like him? How could a straight man suddenly become a homosexual?
Xie Ning's hesitation and struggle, like a flame, ignited Pei Zhi's heart. Pei Zhi became a little excited. Seeing the confusion and helplessness on Xie Ning's face, he felt like he saw the dawn of victory.
Pei Zhi pressed on: "Will you feel disgusted? After you knew that I like you and we are gay."
Xie Ning: "No."
"Will you hate me?"
Xie Ning shook her head.
Pei Zhi's Adam's apple moved and his expression became tense. He asked cautiously with a hint of tentativeness: "So, do you like me a little bit?"
They were so close that they could hear each other's breathing and heartbeat. Pei Zhi's heartbeat was very fast and his body temperature was very hot. After Pei Zhi finished speaking, Xie Ning could even see Pei Zhi swallowing nervously and his protruding Adam's apple moving vigorously for a moment.
Xie Ning raised her eyelashes and looked at Pei Zhi almost dully.
Like...?
Xie Ning had never considered this question. Just like, he has never included love in his life list.
Pei Zhi's hot breath approached as he got closer. The distance was too dangerous. Xie Ning stretched out her hand to push Pei Zhi's face away, but her wrist was held back.
Pei Zhi slowly held Xie Ning's wrist, and his fingers with a thin layer of silk rubbed the inside of Xie Ning's wrist almost intimately.
Seeing that Xie Ning did not show any disgust, he whispered: "I think you may like me a little bit."
"Maybe not much, but at least I have a good impression." Pei Zhi stared at Xie Ning's surprised face and said, "Maybe, we are both gay."
This is a point that Xie Ning has never considered. He has never thought that he might be gay.
The lips parted slightly in extreme surprise, revealing some of the moist, red, and soft inner wall of the mouth. He looked confused, with a little water at the corners of his eyes: "I... I am also gay?"
Pei Zhi did not answer this question, but asked: "Why do you think I can't be gay?"
Xie Ning was now a little hesitant, hesitantly said: "You used to..."
"That was in the past, people change." Pei Zhi said, "I used to hate spicy food, but now I love it. I used to hate homosexuals, but now I can be gay."
Xie Ning choked and said, "It's not the same thing."
"Why is it not the same thing?" Pei Zhi guided the topic, "Are you worried that I'm not a homosexual? Or are you afraid that I just didn't realize what I really thought in my heart for a while."
Xie Ning nodded slightly. From Pei Zhi's point of view, she was actually quite well-behaved.
Pei Zhi's expression changed a little. He held Xie Ning's wrist and moved closer. He could clearly smell the faint fragrance coming from Xie Ning. Under Xie Ning's gaze, he pulled Xie Ning closer.
"I also want to know if I am really a lesbian."
Pei Zhi stared at Xie Ning, lowered his head, stared at Xie Ning's lips, and couldn't stop the thirst in his throat. He coaxed and said, "Then open your mouth."
"Try it," Pei Zhi's Adam's apple slid, and he said, "Try to see if we are gay."
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