Chapter 74 Go to the River
Lin Chengye lowered her head and stared at the piece of paper for a long, long time. Suddenly, she felt the paper jumping around in her palm, and before she knew it, it had jumped under the table.
She then realized that it wasn't the paper that was jumping; it was her hands that were shaking uncontrollably.
"I can't bring myself to do it, Ah Ye."
Lou Sanbai continued rambling on, but Lin Chengye only felt that his words were harsh and scorching.
"That night, until the very last moment, until a bulge had formed on her waist, Lou Erbai was still begging me, begging me to do this. She told me to put the worm away and then go find someone, someone who would know what it was."
"But at that time, I was crying, and I couldn't see anything until Lou Erbai cried out in pain and stopped moving. I was still holding the dagger, but I didn't know where to stab him..."
"I'm going out for a bit."
Suddenly, Lin Chengye stood up abruptly, interrupting Lou Sanbai's words. Her wide sleeves drooped down, covering her trembling hands.
Although the room was dilapidated, drafty, and the stove was not warm, she was almost suffocating and just wanted to hide away for a short while.
Lou Sanbai watched Lin Chengye stagger to the door and suddenly couldn't bear to say anything more. That child had been chased and beaten by so many people, yet her spine had always stood straight, like an evergreen pine tree. But now, she was like a wheat seedling that would be blown down by a gust of wind.
But Lou Sanbai gritted his teeth and still shouted at the figure's back.
"There is no other way, because I am the last person to die this winter."
Lin Chengye paused. She had just walked to the steps outside the door and simply sat down on the ground, catching the falling snow with her body. She remained silent, leaving the two people inside with a desolate silhouette.
Lou Sanbai knew she wouldn't leave.
"I heard you like stories? Then will my story disappoint you? My story is very common and ordinary."
Lou Sanbai smiled and tried to persuade Cai Wen, who had been silent since the beginning.
"...Indeed, it is very common. I have heard many such stories, from books, from my mother, and from people in the sect."
Cai Wenyou seemed lost in thought, and spoke slowly as if waking from a dream. When she looked at Lou Sanbai, she nervously swallowed.
“But this is the first time I’ve met these people face to face with them. This is the first time I’ve seen what the stories themselves look like.”
She had difficulty walking since childhood, so she had hardly ever traveled far. But Cai Wenyou didn't care much. After all, she already had the most intelligent eyes and ears in the world. The Idle Talk Manor had its own methods and connections. They would collect stories outside and tell them to her. Wasn't that good enough?
But now it seems that's not the case. When she heard others recount the story, only the words and details remained in her heart and mind. But when she heard Lou Sanbai say it with her own ears, it was as if something else flowed through her body and merged into her soul.
Cai Wenyou was somewhat bewildered, and she placed her hand on her chest. Coming here with Lin Chengye was merely a spur-of-the-moment decision; she thought she would experience the same joy she felt when discovering new stories, even able to speak eloquently, expressing her opinions and commenting on right and wrong. But…
But no, she showed no joy whatsoever, nor did she offer any commentary on the story.
"Yes, I see. That's why I can't entrust the matter that Lou Erbai entrusted to me to you, because you, like me back then, are being pushed along by fate."
Lou Sanbai laughed, dipped her hand in the tea, and drew a watermark on the table.
“You are a child who has never truly stepped into the rapids; you have only watched from the shore.”
"Rapid currents?" Cai Wenyou was stunned, not understanding.
“You can also call her fate. It’s a painful thing that’s always with you. My own fate actually only began after Lou Erbai died. I realized that in the past she was shielding me, but after that, I stood in the torrent myself.”
Cai Wenyou suddenly understood something. She turned to look at Lin Chengye, as if she really saw a long and wide river flowing through her body. The river was swift and fierce.
"So you have to stand in the torrent, be knocked down by the torrent, and then get back up. Countless stories flow through your body, some stay, some leave. But those that stay will become your flesh and blood, become your stories."
Lou Sanbai pointed with her peach wood cane at Lin Chengye, who was almost turning into a snowman.
"Look, just like her."
...
She actually knew what to do.
Lou Sanbai is her last chance, and the last chance for this Thousand Buddha Kingdom.
Lin Chengye leaned against the decaying doorframe, watching a cloud drift by in the sky. The white sky was empty, and so was her heart. She heard the conversation between the two people inside the room, and suddenly felt as if she could hear the roar of a river, as if it wanted to drown her.
That won't do. Lin Chengye touched her bosom and suddenly felt something warm and smooth. She took it out; it was the Alliance Leader's Token that Bian Yi had once given her. Lin Chengye thought for a moment, then hung the jade on the hilt of the Yin-Yang Twin Spring Sword. The jade pendant struck the iron blade, producing a long, crisp sound.
Suddenly, her heart miraculously calmed down, and the roar faded into the distance. Lin Chengye gripped the blade, turned around, and looked at Lou Sanbai.
"You haven't been very forgiving towards me."
Lou Sanbai also looked at Lin Chengye. She saw blame and helplessness in the girl's eyes, but more than anything, she saw the pain of accepting the truth. She slowly exhaled and said with some distress.
"Yes, I should have severed all ties with this world, but suddenly I owe you so much that I can never repay you in this lifetime."
"Moreover, I originally did not want to come back to this world, but in order to repay your kindness, I am afraid I will have to come back to this world again."
"I don't understand these things, say whatever you want."
Lin Chengye shook his head, his tone not very good, and it was unclear what he was angry about. She stood up and walked out.
"Where are you going?" Cai Wenyou called to her.
"Go and complain to Lou Yuefeng, tell her that her mother is a really difficult person," Lin Chengye said without turning his head.
...
The sun was moving further west, and the sky was gradually darkening.
Lin Chengye really stayed in that room full of candlelight for a long time, but she didn't complain. She just looked at the three characters "Lou Yuefeng" hanging from the ceiling, and next to the black cloth, it was written "Lou Erbai".
She had the same feeling when she saw Chu Wuding's stone statue. Even though she hadn't spoken to them, she felt for a moment that they passed through her body.
"Don't blame me." Lin Chengye's low voice fell, stirring a gust of wind that blew...
Then, she looked up at the sky and returned to Lou Sanbai's room. Sure enough, the man was lying on his back with his eyes closed, a faint smile on his lips, and his hands crossed over his abdomen, as if he had already entered a coffin.
The candle by the bedside was burning slowly, with only a thumb-high section left to burn out.
"Where's Wenyou?" Lin Chengye asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"The peach blossom spirit said she wanted to go for a walk, but I told her not to go too far."
Lou Sanbai replied, but remained in that position and did not open his eyes to look.
Cai Wenyou knows martial arts, so there's not much to worry about. Lin Chengye nodded. She looked at Lou Sanbai's aged face in the candlelight, reached out and plucked a white hair from her forehead, and asked again.
"How much longer?"
"It'll be soon, very soon."
"Is there anything else you'd like to say?"
"After I die, let me leave like the wind, in the courtyard, in the snow, in the wind."
"Anything else?"
"It's gone."
A soft rustling sound pierced the cool air, breaking the tranquility between the two—the sound of a dagger being drawn. It should have been terrifying, frightening, but at this moment it carried a subtle, almost imperceptible tenderness.
"I have something else to say."
Lin Chengye took a deep breath.
"Lou Sanbai, if you ever return to this world in your next life, don't come looking for me to repay your kindness. Go live your own life, go find Lou Erbai, go find your Yuefeng, go find yourself."
Lou Sanbai opened her mouth, as if she wanted to say something, but before she could, she suddenly felt her body begin to contract and wrinkle. First, it started in her hands and feet, then slowly spread to her limbs. Finally, she felt the wrinkling sensation gradually concentrate at her heart, beginning to gnaw at her flesh.
The intense pain, like a roaring river, engulfed her in an instant.
So this is what pain feels like.
She originally thought she could endure it so that Lin Chengye wouldn't be too scared.
But almost instinctively, Lou Sanbai screamed loudly, calling for her mother, her daughter, and Lou Erbai. She had already faced death with equanimity, but at this moment, she was in so much pain that she suddenly opened her eyes wide, tears streaming down her face, banging her head against the wall, and biting off her own tongue.
Please, do it, do it!
Perhaps it was too painful, because when the dagger pierced the skin of her heart, Lou Sanbai did not feel much pain.
But she felt a trembling hand on her shoulder, and the girl in front of her had the same pain and tears streaming down her face as she did.
Like the first cry of a newborn baby.
Before she died, Lou Sanbai heard the sound of a ghost being born from her body, and the ghost was crying. She saw the ghost's body stuck in the dagger that Lin Chengye pulled out of her body; it was actually only the size of her little finger.
Lou Sanbai thought to himself that she was probably the only one of the three of them who could close her eyes and die.
...
The moment Lou Sanbai closed his eyes, the last remaining candle on the bedside table burned out. Instantly, the darkness that once belonged to them surged in; there was no moon tonight, and everything was heavy with blackness.
Lin Chengye could only hear her own heavy breathing. She groped around and grabbed the insect on the tip of the dagger. The thing had wings and long legs, a soft abdomen, and a hard shell on its back.
Her hand was steady; she only pierced the insect's back, controlling its movement without killing it.
"Squeak, squeak."
The insect struggled in her hand, making unpleasant noises.
Is it over?
A voice cautiously probed into the doorway.
Cai Wenyou hadn't actually gone far; she was just standing outside the door, separated by a wall. She gently pushed the door open, and the strong smell of blood instantly filled her nostrils. Warm blood was flowing from the bed to her feet.
Cai Wenyou swallowed hard, but still stepped into the river of blood.
"It's not over yet."
Lin Chengye's face was mostly hidden in the darkness, her voice hoarse. Her clothes were already soaked in blood, making her look like a demon in the night. But Cai Wenyou saw tears sliding down her face.
The man stood up and said to Cai Wenyou.
"Let's go settle the score."
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