I am an ambitious person.
If I didn't have enough "ambition", I wouldn't have chosen to leave Dongjiang and go to the imperial capital to make a living.
I know that if I stay in Dongjiang, the forces at home will interfere with me to some extent.
My dad has done this kind of low-level trick before, such as accidentally meeting a leader on the high-speed train.
As long as I said I wanted to pursue a career in politics, he would definitely spend money to help me get a high position.
I didn't want this to happen. I wanted to see the limits of my abilities, so I went to the imperial capital.
My goal is to be in a place where there is no interference from my family, relying entirely on myself, and go as far as I can.
I just didn't expect that in the imperial capital, both my relationship and career suffered a major blow.
It was then that I realized how important the support of my original family is.
Only then did I understand what it felt like to be oppressed by force, to have all my efforts abolished, and to be suffocated.
It's like a person who has just learned to swim enters deep water. After a few flaps, the water chokes him. Then he struggles hard, but the water is determined to drown him. He wants to find something to hold on to, but there is nothing around him to hold on to, so he lets the water drown him.
Those who drowned were all people who could swim, or to be more precise, those who drowned were people who had just learned to swim.
Your level is far from those dragon kings living in the water.
What you lack is not swimming skills, but the fact that the water itself is not on your side.
If you want to control water, you can only become the Dragon King.
There are many reasons to return to the capital:
1. It’s close to home. My parents will definitely miss me after so many years away from home.
2. Because I was pushed down by Han Jue, I knew I was the one who couldn't swim, so I chose to retreat;
3. To protect Yan Yi?, I knew it was impossible for her and I to be together, because I was not strong enough to face her entire family. I knew this clearly.
4. Li Zhengqin promised me that he would support me when I returned to Dongjiang.
The above four reasons simultaneously prompted me to decide to return to Dongjiang.
When people make choices, they weigh the pros and cons.
After weighing the pros and cons, I found that returning to Dongjiang would be more profitable, so I came back.
Not long after I came back, I met Zhou Mo during flood relief work.
To be honest, I was excited when I saw her.
But it’s just because I’ve been away from home for a long time, and I don’t have many friends in Dongjiang. Zhou Mo is also an old friend of mine.
I was thrilled by it.
Getting along with her is still as easy and pleasant as ever.
She speaks very venomously and hurts people's hearts.
I am the same, actually, so I like to argue with her and fight poison with poison.
Being with her is just for fun, I can be unrestrained and don't have to be cautious about saying the wrong thing.
When we get along, we are used to attacking each other's weakest spots.
Although we get along very well.
But I know that this is not liking, nor is it love.
Because I never thought that I would give up my ideals for her.
Including when I was at the dispatch center and learned that she was married, I was actually relieved.
Fortunately, she was not affected by my departure and has a new life.
Really good.
But I was so lonely at that time.
Frustrated in her career, Yan Yi followed my advice and returned to Shanghai, so there was no possibility for us to even meet in person anymore.
In Dongjiang, I had to fight alone again.
I want to find someone to talk to, a friend who can help me share the anger and resentment in my heart.
I don’t know why, but when I saw Zhou Mo, I thought that she and I were more suitable to be friends than lovers.
I even thought, if she knew how great it would be for me, I would let her tease me a few times and let me tease her a few times in return.
Perhaps starting over in Dongjiang won’t be so boring and tiring.
But she is married, and I have to keep my distance from her. This is the self-knowledge that a man should have.
No man likes his wife or girlfriend to be too close to other boys.
So I said, it’s time for me to focus.
It’s just an unrealistic fantasy to just think about being friends.
Most people believe that there can be no true love between men and women, not to mention that there is still the layer of boyfriend and girlfriend between her and me.
During that period, Mr. Feng always teased me that I couldn't forget Zhou Mo.
I always smiled and didn't answer.
It’s not that I can’t forget, but... I need a friend who can make me feel defenseless and let me unload the burden in my heart.
Duan Feng didn't even know about his relationship with Yan Yi.
He only heard that I was having an affair with a "married woman" in the imperial capital, but he didn't know that the other party was Yan Yi?.
I am also on guard against him.
Even though we've been friends for so long, I still can't tell him everything without reservation.
Just like he didn't tell me about his life experience and romantic history.
There were many reasons for breaking up with Zhou Mo:
1. The most direct thing was seeing the ambiguous conversations between her and others in her space;
2. Ultimately, I had thought about breaking up a long time ago, and I couldn't let this relationship become an obstacle on my future path;
3. I have to go to the capital to study for a few years, and being in a long-distance relationship with her means I have to go through a platonic relationship, which is too difficult for me, especially as a man;
4. Zhou Mo’s family conditions are average, and I don’t know whether her family would approve of my relationship with her.
But I am serious about Zhou Mo, which makes me a little reluctant to let him go, after all, I have given him true feelings.
Between true feelings and wolfish ambitions, I firmly chose the latter.
Because I know that feelings are the most unreliable.
My dear, there is more to this chapter. Please click on the next page to continue reading. It will be even more exciting later!
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