This woman made him, who prided himself on being a playboy with no debts, feel filled with guilt and reluctance.
Ai Zhiyin's rationality and calmness made him feel inexplicably guilty and ashamed.
Especially her indifference aroused all the self-blame in his heart.
This was an unprecedented wave of emotions, and his self-blame was about to drown him.
In the past, he never felt that doing this was unfair to Ai Zhiyin, or rather, he never cared about it and only cared about his own pleasure.
Everything he has in the Han family is earned by himself. He has to worry about Han Chi's return and what to do if other brothers become better than him one day.
There was not a single day that allowed him to relax, even though to outsiders he seemed very free and easy. He rarely even went home and spent the whole day hanging out outside.
But only he himself knows how tiring his life is and how unfree his heart is.
To the extent that he felt that the family he formed with Ai Zhiyin was not free either.
From the beginning, he rejected the family.
Even though he and Ai Zhiyin later had Han Haoxuan.
Working at a university may seem like an easy and leisurely job, but it is actually a shackle for him.
Compared with Han Chi, Han Pei and Han Jue who hold important positions and real power, the identity of a university teacher is nothing.
So he could only use his other time to socialize and build relationships, and worry about his future all day long because he was unwilling to be a teacher for the rest of his life.
He had finally waited for the opportunity to join the disciplinary inspection team, so he had to seize it.
The period between leaving school and officially taking up his new position was the easiest time for him to work after his marriage.
Because the future is promising, because he has finally broken free from the shackles of school.
His career path became smoother, and even his attitude towards things became more relaxed.
He suddenly discovered that he also had eyes that could discover beauty, and that his wife, whom he had always ignored, was so gentle, kind and understanding.
This inevitably reminded him of his previous interactions with her. It seemed that apart from maintaining outward respect, it was not really impossible for him to get along with her comfortably and naturally.
Ai Zhiyin did everything a daughter-in-law of the Han family could do, and she could even be said to be the best.
At that time, he seemed to be devastated.
He was also asking himself whether his current self, as he was now, was worthy of such a beautiful Ai Zhiyin.
He touched her tentatively, and also used a slightly tough attitude to observe her reaction.
He hoped that she would accept an intimate relationship with him and did not want her to refuse. Even if she refused, he would use pressure to suppress her and force her to agree.
But if she continued to resist, he would back down.
He was afraid of going too far and offending her.
He rarely gives in to women on certain matters, but Ai Zhiyin is different. She is her wife and deserves his respect.
Ai Zhiyin has always been very cooperative, and her cooperation is the kind that makes people feel comfortable and at ease.
Her balance between tension and relaxation gave him the illusion that she really needed him, making him fascinated and delusional.
However, in her sober moments, Ai Zhiyin's rationality and restraint kept him at a distance.
Under the capricious feeling given by Ai Zhiyin, he became less and less like his original self.
"Zhiyin..." Han Ji's voice was a little dry and trembling, "We...you won't divorce me, right?"
"Now is not the time to talk about this," Ai Zhiyin said, but did not turn around.
"Zhiyin, I... I won't do that again, I promise... Kan Tong and I..." Han Ji never thought that he would need to explain or defend anything to Ai Zhiyin.
He was like a helpless child, powerless to say anything, and nothing he said was of any use.
What is done is done and cannot be changed.
It was he who hurt Ai Zhiyin and their family.
Even if he and Ai Zhiyin got along well during this period of time, even if he treated her well, it could not cover up the fact that he betrayed his marriage and Ai Zhiyin.
Now no matter what he said, even mentioning the word "Kan Tong" would be another hurt to Ai Zhiyin.
"I'm not as fragile as you think," Ai Zhiyin said. "I can remain calm thanks to my good upbringing. The teachings I received from childhood forbade me to argue with you on New Year's Day. Grandpa, uncles, aunts, and even your brother are all downstairs. If we make a big fuss, it won't be good for anyone."
"I'd rather make a big fuss, I'd rather you quarrel with me..." Han Ji looked at Ai Zhiyin's back, feeling both familiar and unfamiliar.
He really wanted to go up and hug her, but he couldn't muster up the courage.
"There's been a lot of trouble at home lately, and I don't want Grandpa and the others to worry about us anymore," Ai Zhiyin said admonishingly. "Hao Jie's matter, Han Chen's matter, each one of them is enough to make Grandpa upset. We've always been the family that Grandpa worries the least about, so... we can't let anything happen to us."
"So? Are you going to put yourself in a difficult position and swallow your anger again?" Han Ji was annoyed. He couldn't understand why Ai Zhiyin could always be so calm and even indifferent in facing everything, even if he made such a serious mistake.
"Han Ji, you have no right to ask me such questions," Ai Zhiyin turned around abruptly. "You have to understand that you were the one who exposed this matter. I have already figured out how to deal with it in the shortest possible time. You have no right to speak to me in a questioning tone, let alone accuse me of anything!"
"Ai Zhiyin, do you, do you have a heart?" Han Ji became more and more angry, and he was angry for no apparent reason. Even he himself could not figure out why he was so angry.
"I said, I don't want to quarrel, and we can't quarrel. Please put away your emotions and control the tone of your words."
"Even now, you're still focusing on my emotions and the tone of my voice. Haha, is this the demeanor of the famous eldest daughter of the Ai family in Beijing?"
Ai Zhiyin clenched her fists, her brows raised slightly, and she was already trying her best to maintain restraint. She almost spoke through gritted teeth, "Yes. You're right. No matter what happens, I'm the daughter of the Ai family, and I can't bring shame to the Ai family. Even if...what you do is ridiculous."
"You..." Han Ji was speechless.
Even at this point, Ai Zhiyin still maintained her ladylike demeanor. What else could he say?
Should I praise her for being a generous and good wife, or for being sensible?
But no matter how he thought about it, Han Ji felt that Ai Zhiyin's reaction was not what a normal wife should have.
A normal woman would scream and be hysterical when she hears that her husband is betraying the marriage.
Or she might slap him a few times, and then act like a mad woman, making a scene at home or at work, and everyone would know about it.
In the end, both sides were defeated.
He was fired and she lost her dignity.
Ai Zhiyin is different.
It seemed that for the sake of her dignity and pride, she no longer cared about anything, including him.
In fact, in front of her dignity and pride, he was not worth mentioning at all.
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