In his heart, Gui suddenly felt that some things still had to be said by Zhu Yourong.

Sometimes Zhao Rong simply couldn't hear what it said to Zhao Lingfei and Zhao Qianer.

It seems that the only one who can really teach Zhao Rong how to do things is Zhu Yourong.

This was the case when Zhu Yourong stood up for Xiaoxiao, and it was also the case when Zhao Rong wanted to commit suicide in the bamboo forest courtyard not long ago, and it was also the case now when he was "scolding" Zhao Rong.

Moreover, Zhao Rong kept some words and things in his heart, and usually would not tell them. Only in front of Mr. Zhu would he feel relaxed and uninhibited when he confided in them.

This should be... a confidante.

It seems that the relationship between the Master of Peach Blossom Sword and the women he knows is not all about love, but also serious and reliable ones.

The sword spirit nodded, gaining a new understanding of Peach Blossom Sword Master's "swordsmanship".

"Actually, I know all of this."

Zhao Rong lowered his eyes and stared at Zhu Yourong's hand that was grabbing his sleeve. He paused and let out a breath: "I'm just... a little depressed. From last night until now, I always feel a little depressed."

Upon hearing this, Zhu Yourong became more worried. Sometimes, there is a huge difference between knowing a truth and actually putting it into practice. This is what the sages said: knowing is easy, but doing is difficult.

This is also true for saints and wise men; how can mortals avoid it?

Especially for a Confucian scholar like Zhao Rong who has already achieved the unity of knowledge and action, the more he has been able to achieve the unity of knowledge and action in the past, the more difficult it will be to pull him back once he loses his spirit, feels frustrated, and begins to doubt himself.

Because he understands the principles that others talk about, and he may even understand more than others.

In short, it is because you know too much, and subconsciously you are too arrogant to accept other people's reasons. You only believe in what you understand and what you cannot understand.

So sometimes, a gentleman with great knowledge is not as good as an illiterate vulgar person. At least the latter knows how to hold his beautiful wife and concubines well, cherish and love them, and never let go, so why think so much?

Zhu Yourong's expression suddenly softened and she gently pulled Zhao Rong's sleeve.

"So, Tzuyu, what are you frustrated about?"

The tone is gentle, no longer serious and oppressive.

Zhao Rong didn't answer. He suddenly looked up and said, "Yourong, have you ever thought about traveling far away?"

Zhu Yourong nodded directly, "I have thought about it, and I have already done it. My home and the place where I studied and grew up are not in Wangquezhou. I have traveled to many continents, and finally came here. I feel that the roads I have walked, the scenery I have seen, and the people I have met are enough. I am tired, so I stayed in Linlu Academy to teach. But I didn't expect..."

"What did you not expect?"

She lowered her eyes slightly. "I thought I had met so many different people along the way that there wouldn't be any more surprises, but I didn't expect to meet such a special person in the academy, and his calligraphy was also special."

Zhao Rong was stunned for a moment, then he realized that she seemed to be talking about him.

He suddenly felt a little embarrassed, coughed twice, and continued:

"Then I envy you very much. You can read thousands of books, travel thousands of miles, and find a quiet place to return to, where you can put down a desk to read and write... I only took a cursory look at half of the scenery of Wangquezhou. The roads I walked and the people I met were still too few... I didn't live the kind of life I wanted."

Zhu Yourong said softly, "Tzuyu, what kind of life do you want?"

"Is this the life I want..." he said to himself.

"Um."

Zhao Rong was stunned for a moment, and a smile slowly appeared on his calm face.

This is the smile that everyone has when someone asks him what he cares about most and what he thinks is the most beautiful and happiest thing.

"I want to leave everything behind and travel far away, carrying only a small bookcase with my favorite books in it. I will carry it like this, walking through mountains and rivers. If you ask me where I am going, I don't know. I just want to move forward, to all the places called far away, leaving a row of footprints, or a pile of bonfires that have lit the night... If there is a road ahead, I will move forward. If there is no road ahead, I will open a road. If I encounter the sea, I will stay by the sea for a few nights. If I encounter a mountain, I will climb to the top of the mountain to watch the sunrise. If I encounter a river, I will make a bamboo raft and go downstream. If I encounter human habitation, I will put down the bookcase and live there for a few days, chopping wood and fetching water in the morning, reading and writing at night..."

In the darkness, in the dazed vision of the woman in Confucian robes, a young Confucian scholar was lowering his head, recounting his longing journey, groping the wall beside him with his hands, and wandering back and forth in the narrow and dark tomb passage.

He walked and stopped, as if there was a vast ocean in front of him and a dark bonfire behind him. He was talking to himself and immersed in some kind of dream.

Zhao Rong looked back and smiled, "There is no place that can keep me. I can go when I want to and stop when I want to. If I get bored of a place, I will carry my book box and keep going. If I fall in love with a certain scenery, I will put down the book box and cut down wood to build a house..."

Zhu Yourong listened quietly.

After a while, he slowly stopped talking, as if he realized that he was now in a dark and narrow tomb passage and in a frustrating life.

The light in the man's eyes and the smile on his lips faded. He looked up and recited a sentence from a book: "Wherever your heart desires, you can go there on foot. Life is like a journey, and you can only sail with a reed."

After a moment, Zhao Rong lowered his head, recovered as usual, and said to Zhu Yourong who was looking at him infatuatedly:

"These... are thoughts that have been buried in my heart. Sometimes I think about them when I'm bored, sometimes I think about them when I wake up from a dream in the middle of the night, and sometimes when I'm doing serious things in serious occasions, they suddenly pop up in my mind... This kind of life may be a bit naive and idealistic... But in fact, when I woke up after drinking a glass of wine, I wanted to do this. I felt that the world was big and everything was starting over. No one and nothing could restrict me. I could go wherever I wanted and travel around the Xuanhuang Realm..."

There was a hint of loneliness and melancholy in the man's calm tone.

Zhu Yourong loosened the hand that was grabbing his sleeve, and immediately stretched out her jade hand, as if she couldn't help wanting to grab something...

And finally, the jade hand under the sleeve slowly paused, when she faintly felt the warmth of the back of his hand through the air.

The woman in Confucian robes did not withdraw her hand immediately, but instead raised her index finger and gently tapped the back of Zhao Rong's hand with the tip of her finger.

"What happened next?" She asked in a gentle voice.

"Later... life hit me hard." He nodded. "Later, I thought about going north to return the jade to Qingjun and see Qian'er again before traveling south. Later, I met a silly fox demon named Su Xiaoxiao on the way, who brought her to Duyou City. Later, Qingjun robbed me of the black jade for my love at the North Sea, and I haven't got it back yet. Later, I entered Linlu Academy and met you... Later, I felt that you were all here and cared about you, so I gradually stopped. It seems that as I walked step by step, I have forgotten my original idea."

Zhao Rong's eyes were dazed.

Zhu Yourong whispered, "So this is the day you wanted in the first place."

"It's not the first time, actually. It's just... the way of life I really want to live in this life. This is what I thought when I set out on this journey."

Zhu Yourong did not understand the meaning of the word "this life" in this sentence, and only thought that Zhao Rong had other dreams before.

…

Zhao Rong looked at this gentle lady who was listening to his words seriously and attentively, and suddenly said:

"Yourong, have you ever thought about this... In fact, everyone may have more than one life. After we close our eyes and die, we may open our eyes again and see a new world, a new family, and a new way of life..."

"Wh…what do you mean?"

He was a little stunned, as if talking to himself or confiding, and murmured: "It's like a bizarre dream. We will have it again and again. You will encounter a new life, and your thoughts and ideas will be completely different. Now my dream is in the Xuanhuang Realm, and the next dream may be in a blue..."

Zhu Yourong thought about it and suddenly his expression changed, as if he realized something.

"Tzuyu, you mean... the afterlife? Do you think there is an 'afterlife'?"

Zhao Rong nodded silently.

Zhu Yourong suddenly became serious: "Zi Yu, have you read some strange forbidden book? How could you have such a weird idea? And tell me honestly, you told me this morning in the bamboo forest that you don't need the immortality medicine, and even think it's a waste to take the immortality medicine..."

The jade hand under her sleeve suddenly clenched into a fist, "Is it because of this? You feel that life is meaningless and you want to welcome the so-called afterlife?!"

Zhao Rong looked at her anxious and nervous face, pursed his lips, then smiled and shook his head, "It's not as exaggerated as you say, I was just thinking about it, I'm not stupid enough to commit suicide... But the afterlife may really exist, of course, who knows..."

"You haven't answered my previous question yet." The woman was surprisingly stubborn.

Zhao Rong had no choice but to nod, "It's not entirely because of this, but the life now is indeed not what I wanted in the beginning. Things like the elixir of immortality don't have much appeal to me. I feel... people who live too long without meaning are just walking corpses. And some people, even if they are dead, their obsessions are still there, so they will continue to live... So what does it matter if there is an elixir of immortality or not."

Seeing that he had no thoughts of committing suicide, Zhu Yourong's expression eased a little.

She bit her lip, calmed down, and digested Zhao Rong's words.

Then he couldn't help but ask, "So after saying all this, what you mean is that the people you meet now are not interesting enough and not worth you taking the immortality potion to stay with them for a while?"

Zhu Yourong retorted to Zhao Rong with a little dissatisfaction, but her tone was still gentle, more like a scolding than blaming him.

Any man who meets such a lady who is good at listening, caring and gentle would probably feel relaxed and at ease.

Zhao Rong was no exception.

I felt relieved even though I said some of the private and suppressed words in my heart.

"No."

He shook his head and said softly: "It is my greatest luck to meet you and know you, but..."

The man paused for a moment, then seemed to realize something.

“I don’t deserve it now.”

He seemed to have found the root of all the current problems and doubts.

Zhao Rong raised his head instantly, his tone becoming more certain:

"Yourong, I understand now. My self-cultivation is not enough. I have Qingjun, Xiaoxiao, and Qian'er... these are the most outstanding and lovely women in the world, but I cannot live the life I want.

"Like now, I am staying at home with Qingjun and Qian'er. They are so nice to me, but I feel extremely depressed when I am with them. I know why I am depressed. I shouldn't have let them become like this and lose their natural spirituality. They should have been... spiritual, moving and lovely women. Which man wouldn't love them... But now, because of me, they have wasted their most precious spirituality and time."

Zhu Yourong suddenly interrupted, "Ziyu, are you deprecating and doubting yourself? Do you think you are not worthy of them?"

Zhao Rong nodded and shook his head, "Not really. We love each other, so how can we be unworthy? I just feel that I am not self-cultivated enough now, and I can't make them better."

"If I cultivate myself well enough, I will surely be able to influence them and make them better, instead of offending you like I did yesterday and causing chaos in the whole house."

After hearing this seemingly well-founded argument, Zhu Yourong frowned and remained silent for a while.

Zhao Rong became more and more relaxed as he spoke, and nodded affirmatively:

"It's my fault for not managing my family well. I don't blame Qingjun and Qian'er. They have been practicing sword since they were young. They are pure sword cultivators. They haven't read many books. How can they understand any great principles? They just follow the secular laws and family rules. Jealousy, sensitivity and fragility are normal instincts of ordinary women. How can we expect Qingjun and Qian'er to simply transcend these realms?"

"The problem lies with me. I am the husband, the one who can influence them the most, but I am not self-disciplined enough and failed to take the lead in influencing them. Instead, this family has become what it is now..."

Zhao Rong suddenly laughed, as if he had finally figured it out.

“That’s really what’s frustrating me.”

He raised his hand and rubbed his face hard, smiling brightly, "I see."

Zhu Yourong frowned and hesitated, "Alright... okay, if you just want to think this way, it's not impossible, as long as you are not a heartless man who loves the new and hates the old and abandons his wife and concubines..."

Zhao Rong nodded, "So I want to... go out for a walk, travel a long distance, and seriously cultivate myself!"

Zhu Yourong's eyes flashed with anger, and she immediately rejected it, "No! You can reflect on yourself and cultivate yourself, but you can't run around!"

Zhao Rong frowned slightly, "But..."

"No buts!"

Zhu Yourong was determined and waved her hand, "Zi Yu, wait a minute, let me think about it."

She lowered her head and frowned in thought for a while, then at a certain moment, she raised her head and said:

"Ziyu, the biggest problem you are facing now is not self-cultivation, but... the management of your family!"

"Qi family?"

Zhao Rong frowned even more, but the woman in Confucian robes in front of him nodded firmly.