He saw the boy's eyes, eyes so sincere and passionate that they required a well-thought-out answer.
Bing Nandong is still young. At his age, his emotions are surging and uncontrollable. But I am many years older than him, so how could I be infected by this impulse?
Bing Nandong's confession might have been just a spur-of-the-moment thought, but he was a person who took things seriously. He was easily moved by other people's kindness and took relationships seriously. For example, Jinmao's death had made him sad for a long time and he couldn't get over it.
Fan Zhiyi hated that feeling, hated separation, hated being alone.
It is impossible for him and Bing Nandong to be together. They are not from the same world. He will leave here.
If the ending is destined to be separation, it is better to have no worries.
And... Bing Nandong is going to dedicate himself to the Ghost Gate, he belongs to the world of immortal cultivation.
Fan Zhiyi felt a surge of blame for no apparent reason, as if putting the blame on Bing Nandong would make him feel better. He blamed Bing Nandong for his irresponsible confession, for forcing him to give an answer. So, Fan Zhiyi asked, "Why?"
Why? Bing Nandong hadn't expected Fan Zhiyi to ask this question. A vague premonition made him lose his composure in controlling the rhythm and panicked.
Fan Zhiyi pursed his lips, his sanity returning. "Bing Nandong, I've lost my memory, but from those descriptions, I can tell what kind of person I was before. But that person and I are now completely separated. We are two different individuals, including our engagement and our relationship. You should also separate us." Fan Zhiyi hesitated. "Do you understand what I mean?"
This was the best he could do.
"I can tell the difference very clearly, Fan Zhiyi, I can tell the difference very clearly."
Fan Zhiyi shook his head. There were some things he didn't dare to say.
Fan Zhiyi felt frustrated and sad. There were so many things between them. Just the dimension alone was enough to give him a headache. "I...I'm sorry. Don't think about it. I can give you the answer right now. I refuse."
Bing Nandong's shocked expression was reflected in Fan Zhiyi's eyes, as if he had not expected such an answer. Then loss and hurt slowly emerged on his face, as if all the excitement and tension disappeared at the moment when the dust settled. The blush on his ears also faded away, which was so unbearable.
Fan Zhiyi remembered that Bing Nandong's ears would turn red when he was shy.
Bing Nandong was proud. He had thought Fan Zhiyi might be surprised and unable to answer for a while, but he had never expected to be rejected so quickly. Now it was his turn to ask, "Why?"
Confused, incomprehensible, sad...
Bing Nandong's breath pressed over him, and he tore off the mask of calmness and rationality, but the mask was put on again by Fan Zhiyi.
After all, he is still a teenager, and he does things according to his own interests.
Fan Zhiyi felt that he seemed very ruthless: "There are many reasons, but in short, Bing Nandong, we are not suitable."
Rather than keep pestering, it's better to be clear and explicit from the start. If you're going to refuse, do it decisively, leaving no room for negotiation.
A gifted person like Bing Nandong would probably distance himself from me very quickly after being rejected out of face, and we might even become strangers who I don't recognize in the future.
Moreover, there is nothing special about him that is worth liking. He is just an ordinary person.
Fan Zhiyi saw that Bing Nandong's eyes quickly turned red and he felt extremely aggrieved. Fan Zhiyi didn't dare to look at him anymore. He lowered his head and left Bing Nandong alone and walked forward.
The moment he left there, Fan Zhiyi felt even more unable to breathe.
He is not the type to fall in love at first sight. On the contrary, because of his own upbringing, Fan Zhiyi feels that he may be unpredictable in dealing with feelings. Sometimes he is very sensitive, and at other times he can be too calm.
It was clearly me who rejected you, but I ended up feeling even more upset. Fan Zhiyi, try to be more ambitious.
Bing Nandong stood there, looking at this man who only gave him a resolute back, without even a spare glance. He hadn't noticed that Fan Zhiyi had such an indifferent side.
"Come out." Bing Nandong was in a bad mood. He didn't have the patience to waste any more time. He had noticed someone hiding in the dark, but he had been so focused on confessing his feelings that he hadn't paid much attention.
Xu Qing stepped out from the shadows with her hands behind her back and looked at Bing Nandong worriedly: "Big Brother..."
Bing Nandong immediately turned his back to her, his voice a little hoarse, but he still tried to soften his tone and pretended to be nonchalant and asked, "What's wrong?"
***
The gathering place Bing Nandong mentioned was actually very good. When Fan Zhiyi arrived there, he found that they had actually bought a horse-drawn carriage.
He didn't ask why he didn't fly away on his sword or why he bought a carriage. He just stood aside against the wall, staring at the tip of his shoes.
"Junior Sister."
"Junior sister, where is the senior brother?" The group of disciples who were whispering suddenly became excited.
When he heard the word "senior brother", Fan Zhiyi looked up as if in a state of stress, only to find that only Xu Qing came over.
"The eldest senior brother said that he has other things to do, so we don't have to wait for him and go back to Tianyunmen directly." Xu Qing instructed, and then the disciples arranged three or four people in a carriage on their own. Fan Zhiyi was naturally left alone.
Xu Qing looked at Fan Zhiyi and said, "Let's go together."
Fan Zhiyi nodded, and then he and Xu Qing were the only two people in the carriage.
The carriage started moving. This was Fan Zhiyi's first time riding in a carriage, but perhaps because he was in a bad mood, he had no way to experience the feeling properly. He could only look out the window at the scene going away.
"Senior Brother said that you are still ill and it is not easy to fly the sword, so he rented three carriages." Xu Qing said.
This made Fan Zhiyi feel even more guilty, and he didn't know how to respond.
Fan Zhiyi looked at Xu Qing and felt that for some reason, her attitude towards him seemed to have softened a bit. "He, that's why Senior Brother doesn't want to join us?"
Could it be that he was so angry with himself that he didn't even want to see him anymore?
"It must be because of Yue Tang's matter. Isn't Yue Tang's wronged soul still being liberated?"
Yes. Fan Zhiyi nodded.
"Why did you choose to ask me about the matter behind the bamboo forest?" Xu Qing asked suddenly, which stumped Fan Zhiyi. Didn't Xu Qing warn him not to mention this matter again last time? Why was she the one asking the question now?
However, Fan Zhiyi had been through a lot, so he hesitated for a moment before saying, "No reason, I just wanted to ask."
It doesn't matter. Fan Zhiyi feels that this girl Xu Qing is different from other disciples of Tianyun Sect, and it can also be seen that she is sincere towards Bing Nandong.
Others are not stupid. Fan Zhiyi knows that his acting skills are poor. Smart people like Xu Qing and Lu Changfu should have discovered the clues of his identity long ago. He is not in the mood to deal with Xu Qing now. Anyway, he will just keep denying whatever has been guessed.
But if it was Xu Qing, it wouldn't be a big deal to know that he had lost his memory. Bing Nandong probably wouldn't say anything.
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