Chapter 54 Am I really going to hit her?
When they arrived home, Jiang Qingying walked ahead. When Aunt Mei greeted her and asked what she wanted to eat, she simply shook her head.
Lu Jinyuan followed behind her, watching her back the whole time, watching her refuse Aunt Mei, then walk up the stairs alone, and finally disappear around the corner.
Aunt Mei comforted her, "It's alright, give Madam some time to think about it."
Lu Jinyuan nodded, "Prepare some food, I'll take it up to her, she hasn't eaten all morning."
Aunt Mei: "Okay, I prepared scallop and shredded chicken congee in advance. I'll go get it."
When Lu Jinyuan entered the bedroom, he saw Jiang Qingying sitting on the chaise lounge with her eyes closed. He quietly walked over, placed the plate on the low table in front of her, and squatted down beside her, calling her name.
"How about you have some porridge? You haven't eaten anything all morning."
Jiang Qingying slowly opened her eyes. As soon as her eyelids were lifted, her eyes instantly filled with tears. She held back her sobs, biting her lower lip with her pearly white teeth. The emotions she had been suppressing all morning suddenly erupted at this moment. She picked up a pillow and threw it at him.
Neither of them uttered a sound; she hit him, and he let her vent her anger.
Jiang Qingying knew she couldn't blame him, but she was filled with complicated emotions with nowhere to vent them, and she couldn't help herself when she first saw him.
Finally, she was exhausted, and she threw the pillow in her hand to the ground. Her intermittent sobs grew louder and louder. When he pulled her into his arms, her tears flowed like a burst dam, soaking the fabric of his clothes on his shoulders.
"I don't want to have children."
"I know."
"I'm not ready to be a mother."
"I know that too."
Jiang Qingying cried for a long time, until she was too sobbing to speak.
Lu Jinyuan was at a loss when he saw her cry for the first time. He gently patted her back with his trembling hand, his voice hoarse: "It's my fault for forgetting to check afterward that night, which made you suffer. Whether you give birth or give up, I will respect your choice."
These words were like stepping into her minefield. Her fist landed on his chest, and she choked out as she yelled at him, "What, you think I would hit her?"
She didn't want to get pregnant, but she also felt she couldn't bring herself to abort her own child; it would be too cruel.
“Then let’s give birth.” Lu Jinyuan hugged the baby tighter, his voice full of joy and gratitude. “I know you’re not ready, but I’ll face it with you. I’ll be there for you no matter what. Don’t be afraid.”
“Anyone can say anything,” Jiang Qingying said, her tears stopping, her voice broken as she sobbed, “It’s not like you gave birth to me.”
Lu Jinyuan wiped away her tears, his gaze firm and sincere as he earnestly said, "I know I can't get pregnant for you, but I promise that I will do everything I can, and even things I can't do, I will stay by your side and never let you face this alone."
Jiang Qingying was probably a little dazed from crying. She looked at him with a blank expression. After a long while, her rationality gradually returned. Recalling how she had acted just now, she, who was always independent and strong, was not used to this version of herself. She pushed away from his embrace and started to wriggle.
Lu Jinyuan thought she didn't believe him, so he turned her face back and said solemnly, "You have to believe me."
Jiang Qingying's moist eyelashes fluttered a few times, and she sniffed: "Mmm."
Seeing that she had really listened, Lu Jinyuan breathed a slight sigh of relief. He got up and went to the bathroom to wet a towel with warm water to wipe her face. She was embarrassed and tried to take the towel to wipe it herself, but he withdrew his hand to stop her and forcefully wiped her tear-stained face clean.
"No matter what, I still want to apologize to you, because you may suffer a lot in the future that I can't understand, so I will do my best to take good care of you and try to reduce your hardship."
"Oh." Jiang Qingying watched him gently wipe her face, as if afraid of hurting her. She asked, "So it's because you're pregnant that you're being so nice to me?"
"..." Lu Jinyuan's hand stopped moving, and he looked at her in confusion. "Why would you ask that? Was I not good to you before?"
"So-so." Jiang Qingying saw his speechless expression and murmured, "At least not as meticulous as it is now."
Lu Jinyuan seemed genuinely reflecting on his actions, then asked her, "After you give birth, can I still take care of you like this?"
"...That would make me seem like a useless person." Jiang Qingying pondered, then told him in a notification tone, "Even if I'm pregnant, I still have to work."
Lu Jinyuan hummed in agreement, "I respect your decision. Just don't overwork yourself."
"I know." Jiang Qingying suddenly remembered something and felt it was a bit absurd: "At the family dinner last night, I said there was no rush, but today I found out I'm pregnant."
“Yes, what a coincidence,” he agreed with a smile.
Jiang Qingying suddenly asked, "If I don't want to have this child, would you really agree?"
"have no idea."
Lu Jinyuan answered softly. He said he respected her, but he was extremely unwilling to accept the result. On the way back, he had some despicable thoughts. He might use business tactics on her to force her to keep the child, but the next second he told himself that he couldn't do that. It would be too unfair to her.
So, during that brief time on the way back, before she finally agreed to have the baby, he prayed, praying to hear that joyous answer.
Jiang Qingying didn't pay much attention to the issue; she was mainly hungry, so with red eyes, she picked up the porridge on the table and started eating.
"Were you unable to sleep last night because of your pregnancy?" he asked.
Seeing that he was still squatting, Jiang Qingying moved her bottom to the side, gesturing for him to sit down: "Yes, it's just that I have doubts, so I've been thinking about it all night."
Lu Jinyuan put his arm around her shoulder and said in a gentle voice, "You should have told me."
"Why bring up things that aren't even certain?" Jiang Qingying scooped up a spoonful of porridge. "Are we both supposed to stay awake until dawn?"
"Then finish this bowl of porridge and go to sleep for a while."
"good."
Have you eaten yet?
"I can eat after you've finished eating."
"Don't starve yourself."
"You too, eat more while you still can."
Jiang Qingying looked at him hesitantly, "What do you mean?"
Lu Jinyuan gave a wry smile. "What Aunt Mei said earlier was that you might experience morning sickness soon, and she told you to tell her what you want to eat so she can cook it for you while you still have an appetite."
"..." Jiang Qingying suddenly felt that the scallop and shredded chicken congee in her hand didn't taste good at all. "Suddenly I don't want to have children anymore."
"No, you promised me."
"Can't I go back on my word?"
"no."
"That's really domineering."
After Jiang Qingying finished eating the porridge, her stomach felt warm and comfortable. She was naturally sleepy after eating, and she hadn't slept well last night either. She originally planned to lie down and go to sleep, but Lu Jinyuan sat blankly on the edge of the bed, looking like he was going to watch her fall asleep before leaving.
"Why don't you go back to work at the company?" she suggested cautiously.
Lu Jinyuan refused outright, "I'm not going back today. I'll go to the study to deal with this later."
"But I can't sleep with you standing here." Jiang Qingying couldn't stand it anymore and shooed him away: "Don't be so tense. Just do what you're supposed to do. I'm not some national treasure."
“In my heart, aren’t you a national treasure?” Lu Jinyuan suddenly blurted out a sweet nothing, making her blush. She smiled and said, “Why are you shy?”
"...I'm not shy." Jiang Qingying pulled the blanket up to cover half of her face, a move that was really just burying her head in the sand. "You really don't need to be nervous. I feel fine now. Just go about your work as usual, and continue with your social engagements and business trips as usual."
She paused for a second and added, "Otherwise I would feel a lot of pressure."
"Okay." Lu Jinyuan didn't insist. "Then I'll go and get busy. Call me if you need anything."
"Um."
He leaned down and kissed her forehead, then stepped back slightly, gazing into her eyes, and said, "Wife."
Every time he called Jiang Qingying that, her heart would inexplicably skip a beat, and she would blink, waiting for him to continue.
He said, "Thank you."
Thank you for marrying me and giving me a little family.
Thank you for being willing to give birth to our child, making my life complete.
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