Chapter 44
If I had to use a metaphor to describe his current state, it would be like working through the night for 48 hours straight to achieve his goals, and then happily thinking he could finally get a good night's sleep—only to be woken up by the noise of renovations upstairs less than two hours after closing his eyes, with the drilling sound seemingly right next to him.
Can't a person get any sleep?!
The intense feeling of weightlessness gave Ye Yihe the illusion that he was about to fall. The extreme palpitations and drowsiness caused by lack of energy made his vision blur and he almost felt nauseous, like he was experiencing motion sickness or being drunk.
He instinctively supported his head with his hand and closed his eyes to alleviate the immense torment of his entire body protesting.
Aside from the extreme physical discomfort, the accompanying nausea and irritability upon waking up further exacerbates the problem.
[Xiao Ai, I'm completely incapable of doing good deeds in this state.]
Ye Yihe took several deep breaths to calmly offer suggestions to the system within his consciousness: [Let's skip this one for now. Return my body to Fyodor and let me go back to sleep.]
He now understood the consequences of excessive mental energy depletion. Even a deep sleep hadn't replenished much of it. When he woke up this time, it felt like someone was hitting the back of his head with a sledgehammer while shouting "Eighty! Eighty!"
In short, he felt extremely unwell and just wanted to continue sleeping.
He didn't even care about his surroundings, since Fyodor could take over after he went back to sleep, ensuring a seamless transition.
All that followed was a long silence. Without any response, Ye Yihe felt even more dizzy. In her mind, she called out "Xiao Ai" again, urging it to hurry up.
[...In fact, this time the host was not awakened by this system.]
The system wiped its sweat as it emerged, feeling that its journey of rebirth as a host was fraught with problems and unexpected events... If it were a human who was keen on surfing the internet, it would surely have exclaimed something.
Dude, could this be any more outrageous?
Doesn't he find it terrifying enough that the fact he can analyze his own behavior from rationalized memories is already frightening? And that was only the second time the host had switched hosts!
Now, they've actually forcibly awakened the host from his slumber!
[Not you?]
Ye Yihe shook his head, trying to clear his mind—he thought it was a big move, but from an outsider's perspective, he was just sitting back in his chair with his head down, and his eyelashes could be seen trembling slightly between the five fingers supporting his head.
[...Is it Fyodor?]
Think about it, no one else would do this, and this is the second time he's been called out, so it's normal that he's become more skilled.
[Good, that means I have no more issues to resolve.] Ye Yihe, feeling unwell all over, spoke listlessly. [Send me back now.]
Although he was a little curious about how the other person had forcibly woken him up, he knew that sleeping was the most important thing, and he didn't want to think about anything right now.
[Sorry, this system cannot do that at the moment.]
Xiao Ai's voice even became much lower—if the system had a physical form, its index fingers would probably be pointing together by now, [an error code requiring urgent handling has occurred, and it still needs to be resolved, corrected, and improved...]
"Fyodor?"
The system's voice suddenly faded away, as if it had been blocked by something—then someone in reality called the original owner's name, a slightly deep, youthful voice that was lively and surprised.
At that moment, he was Fyodor, and Ye Yihe responded with a "Hmm?" while keeping his eyes closed, trying to relieve the lingering dizziness.
Do you remember what just happened?
Another, more mature male voice rang out, sounding much more sophisticated than the boyish voice from before. It seemed to be trying to soothe his emotions, but there was also a hint of caution in it: "Do you remember who I am?"
"…………"
The intense drowsiness had not yet dissipated. Ye Yihe forced himself to stay awake and weakly glanced at the source of the sound.
The dim, damp environment, along with the strong smell of wine and wood, reminded him of the detention center in Japan where he had been held as an illegal immigrant.
The table and chairs in front of me are quite new; they look like they've only been used recently.
The man sitting behind the wooden table looked refined and dressed like an elegant gentleman from high society. However, for some reason, he looked like he wanted to run away but couldn't, and his face was almost contorted with grievance.
And considering the British accent I just heard... has he returned to England from Japan again?
And this way of asking the question makes it seem like they already know this body has a dual personality—so Ye Yihe shook his head slightly, indicating that he didn't know.
To be honest, he really didn't know who the other person was.
"I don't know him."
The few syllables that came out were soft and low, revealing an extreme weariness and hoarseness.
"…………"
The air seemed to fall silent for a moment.
"I told you you didn't have a split personality!"
The man who had just asked the question slammed his fist on the table in anger and protested loudly to the other boy standing next to him, "Look at the person my power was really meant to be used on! His personality was successfully switched!"
"Hey—"
"Don't pretend you're just surprised to find out the truth. I've tried it on you so many times these past two days! Let me go back now, and I promise I won't call the police to arrest you!"
"But, but, even Fyodor has a dual personality, how can I not?! How is that possible...!"
Gogol covered his mouth with both hands, letting his terrified voice escape through his fingers.
"…………"
Stevenson couldn't help but slap his forehead, looking up at the sky and sighing at this clown magician with such a strong desire to perform, "This thing isn't some medieval beauty product, why do you have to create an alternate personality to be satisfied..."
He was so distressed that he was practically dying, and the effects of his superpower only exacerbated his distress, preventing him from completing his studies and making it impossible for him to communicate normally with others or establish normal social relationships.
Turns out there's someone here who's eager to have a dual personality!
Look at Lord Fyodor in front of me. He's already planning to devour his main personality, which symbolizes [good]! Isn't he afraid of his secondary personality... well, judging from how skilled he is at kidnapping, it'll probably be an [evil] personality if it separates out.
“Only in this way can I cool down my boiling thoughts,” Gogol’s voice suddenly lowered, and even his eyes became quiet and still, “Only then can I obtain true and complete freedom, like the bird I love, unbound by gravity, soaring through the sky…”
“…Verlaine?”
Triggered by the keyword "gravity," Ye Yihe subconsciously uttered the name.
"Hmm? My dear Fyodor, are you referring to that [King of Assassins] Verlaine?"
After listening to Gogol, who had just heard about this important figure from the other world, he paused, then his tone became light again, "I don't quite understand why you suddenly brought him up—"
“He can manipulate gravity, just like you said, completely unbound by gravity, and flying is a piece of cake for him,” Ye Yihe said weakly, drowsy.
"But in my opinion, he's not as free as you say."
Confined to their inhuman identity, feeling lost about the meaning of existence... everyone has their own joys and sorrows.
"…………"
Even the usually unconventional Gori couldn't help but correct himself, "I was just using a metaphor..."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
Ye Yihe, forcing himself to stay alert, sat up straighter and adopted a listening posture. "Please tell me, what exactly do you mean by this freedom?"
The system call failed. I don't know if it's fixing a bug or something else. I just hope it can hold on for a while. If it falls into a coma, is it possible to get its body back?
"It turns out there really is a personality switch... I clearly said all of this to Fyodor,"
Gogol staggered back a step, looking extremely heartbroken. "How could this happen? I'm the only normal person here..."
Ye Yihe: …………
No, although he doesn't know the whole story yet, he has a feeling that this guy isn't exactly a normal person.
"This... um, what should I call you, Fyodor's other personality?"
Gogol suddenly smiled again, bent over in his direction, held up his cloak with one hand, and gave a perfunctory bow.
"…………" How could Ye Yihe possibly give him his real name, "Fyodor"?
Since only one of him and Fyodor can appear at a time, why can't they use the same name?
“Hoo, is it still Fyodor? Well… my dear Fedya,” Gogol said, then quickly switched to a term of endearment to distinguish the two of them, “What do you think is true freedom?”
This is an extremely philosophical and ultimate topic, comparable to "Who are you?", "Where do you come from?", and "Where are you going?". From ancient times to the present, books on freedom alone could fill a Leaning Tower of Pisa. Every argument presented has even more points to refute it, leading to endless arguments.
When people try to interpret a non-logical and symbolic subjective concept with a definition, it is often incomplete—even if a definition is given, the given definition itself will be redefined, tracing back infinitely until it is found that the source of one definition will be stacked by another definition, falling into a vicious cycle of mutual overlap.
Just as Gogol believed that freedom lies in doing the opposite of what one's instincts urge one to do, one can then counter this by asking, "Isn't this very act of going against one's instincts also a form of mental constraint?" or "Isn't true freedom simply doing what one wants to do?" This leads to further exploration of "what exactly constitutes mental constraint," and then raises new questions once again…
The very idea of creating a definition as precise and flawless as a mathematical formula, leaving no room for error, could keep philosophers arguing for three thousand years without ever reaching a real conclusion.
The only use of this kind of topic, which can quickly ignite a war of words anywhere and where neither side can convince the other, is to quickly filter out like-minded people who share the same values.
Even if Socrates were to give a direct answer to the question Gogol is now asking him, it would be useless.
Ye Yihe decides to use magic to defeat magic.
"Isn't your persistent pursuit of freedom also a form of unfreedom?" Ye Yihe countered. "Isn't abandoning the obsession with freedom the true meaning of freedom?"
Stop nagging him about freedom and what freedom is; just erase it from his mind.
Gogol opened his mouth slightly, “…………”
It seems, somewhat, that there's no way to refute it.
Gogol was completely stunned, as if petrified, his brain was running at full speed.
After listening in silence, Stevenson raised his hand and slowly began to applaud.
Finally, a hero has stepped forward!
"Besides, you can keep these thoughts nagging at you 24/7,"
Ye Yihe sighed, resting his chin on his hand, and took the opportunity to add a vivid touch to his dual personality setting, "And I, when I appear here to talk to you, can already be called 'free'."
Gogol's heterochromatic eyes slowly widened as he gazed at the second personality before him, whose eyes were half-closed. He looked at him as if he were Jesus Christ, the Holy Son, nailed to the cross, accepting his fate so peacefully and calmly—the fate of being imprisoned in another's body.
These are the birds that are truly imprisoned in a golden cage.
“So,” Gogol took a step towards him, his voice even trembling slightly, “you are the one who is mine…”
—The world suddenly lost its sound.
Similar to the situation with the system earlier, perhaps even more unusual, including his appearance this time... something was squeezing his consciousness, like a cat's paw quietly touching the water glass on the table.
In a moment, his consciousness seemed to fall like a water glass pushed off the table.
Ye Yihe felt the scenery around him fading away rapidly, like old film that had been stored for years, leaving only a hazy, mottled darkness. Only the feeling of weightlessness accompanied him, as if the whistling wind was blowing in his ears, and a hand was clenching his heart.
It was a strange experience. As he fell, he could vaguely perceive something from this void of darkness—blizzards, wastelands, deserts, books, crosses, shackles, firearms, and many more fleeting afterimages.
In the end, those things disappeared into the dark torrent, but instead of shattering like a water glass, it suddenly plunged into the sea, the rippling water receding from sight, countless bubbles churning and surging upwards.
In a daze, this scene seemed to overlap with his real, past memories.
Hmm, he can't swim...
Driven by the instinct for survival, Ye Yihe reached out his hand, even though he knew perfectly well that he was only in his conscious mind and no one would come to his rescue.
My fingertips were touched.
Ye Yihe opened his eyes wide, and a lot of tiny bubbles suddenly gushed out of his mouth and nose.
That soft touch was not an illusion. Because immediately afterward, that hand actually grasped his, pulling his still-sinking body up and gradually away from the dark seabed that was about to engulf him.
In this vast ocean of conscious illusion, all illusions vanish in an instant, and the shadow of death is nothing but a delusion.
The next moment, Ye Yihe stood firmly on a higher place, as if he could reach out and touch the sky, with the soft touch of a carpet under his feet.
He was standing inside a tall tower.
Or rather, the palace inside the tower.
If you look out the window, you can see that the entire space is an infinite extension of a set of spiral staircases. The tower is just a part of it, just like the countless candles floating in the air in front of you. It is also a decoration of the staircases. It is a design that is absolutely impossible to realize in reality, but this is consciousness, and consciousness is just so unreasonable.
"It went much more smoothly than I expected."
A clear, youthful voice rang out, carrying a hint of elusive elegance, like a fruit that had been soaked in an abyss and then retrieved, lovingly cradled in the palm of someone's hand.
To Ye Yihe, the voice was all too familiar, but the rhythm and pronunciation of the words were completely different from his own.
He blinked slowly to make sure he wasn't seeing things.
The person releasing his hand was Fyodor himself.
Ye Yihe looked down at his hands—pale, slender, with distinct joints, without the calluses that come from years of Jeet Kune Do training, and the pale blue veins under his skin were clearly visible.
In this space of consciousness belonging to the body's owner, he seemed... to still appear as Fyodor.
Ye Yihe thought for a moment, then rolled up the sleeve of his left hand.
Even though I was completely submerged in water just now, I am now clean and refreshed, with not a single water stain to be found.
The inside of the forearm, which originally bore faint white marks from the engraving, is now completely smooth.
Are you looking for this?
Fyodor gave him two very soft laughs—then he raised his forearm and slowly rolled up his left sleeve, showing it to Yeikh.
The beautifully written characters 【нашёлтебя】were clearly reflected in his eyes.
“…”
Ye Yihe wanted to sigh and ask him if he knew how hard it was for her to recover from her injury, but she held back.
"You did find me..."
He simply closed his eyes briefly, calmly facing this "himself" who shared the same appearance, "Finally."
"finally."
Fyodor slowly repeated the word, a faint smile playing on his lips. Bathed in the glow of countless floating candles, his slightly upturned eyes shone with a unique and beautiful purplish-red hue.
"Your spirits are also much lower than I expected."
...Of course, he had used his body for too long before, and his mental energy had not been replenished at all... He was still incredibly sleepy!
But Ye Yihe wouldn't explain this to him. "If my spirit were strong, you wouldn't have only just noticed my presence."
He simply replied with this sentence, his tone flat and slightly cautious.
"Indeed, the seedlings of [goodness] always grow small and fragile, requiring careful nurturing..."
Fyodor spoke slowly, “Conversely, if I wanted to devour you, it would be easy.”
He moved closer, raising his left hand, still revealing the inscription on his forearm, with his fingers spread, but only the fingertips gently pressed against Ye Yihe's heart.
"What should you do? My other half."
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