Volume 4: Phoenix Crying in the Ninth Heaven
**Section 1: Chaotang Nursery**
The coiled dragon pillars of the Golden Throne Hall suddenly broke into a clapping song, shaking Sibao's newly placed imperial seal into a pacifier. Sanbao, holding an abacus full of flattering words, rolled up the imperial steps: "Mother! The Prime Minister's Hu Zi signed up for early childhood education classes during the livestream! He wants to learn how to change diapers for memorials!"
Gu Jinghong looked up from the dragon throne and found that the text of the memorial was twisting into a barrage of comments: [Ministry of Revenue: All the military pay this year was used to buy milk powder] [Ministry of Works: This minister suggests that the moat be converted into a baby swimming pool]
The Poison Tongue System suddenly released a holographic projection:
- A "shit, piss, and fart KPI" progress bar hangs over the heads of all civil and military officials.
- Heirloom Seal holding a pacifier and blowing bubbles
- The most outrageous thing is the border emergency message, the pigeon leg ring is engraved with "Please help me sleep"
- Zhenguo Ding cried during a livestream: "They put milk powder in my cauldron!"
"A deficit in civilized parenting has been detected," the system's electronic voice suddenly became childish, "Starting version 1.0 of "Baby Rule the Country"!" The dragon chair automatically transformed into a multifunctional baby crib.
Sibao's dragon horn scanned the DNA chain: "The court's crying value = Daddy's caffeine concentration x 27!" Before he could finish his words, the Minister of Rites rushed in, holding a white diaper flag: "Your Majesty! The Northern Wei delegation is requesting the opening of a transnational maternity and baby store!"
The bronze sword spirit floated by while chewing on a memorial: "Young master, I am leaving..." Twenty-eight mechanical confinement nannies emerged from the ground, and the milk bottles were engraved with "Cleaner No. 27 is carrying out the 27th civilized childcare experiment."
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**Section 2: Diaper Diplomacy**
"National policy should be emulated..." Just as the Grand Tutor unfolded the "Zizhi Tongjian" (Zizhi Tongjian), the system suddenly ejected a holographic diapering table: "Feudal dregs detected. We have subscribed to the United Nations Convention on Childcare!"
The hard-core governance of the child-rearing system shocked other countries:
- Sanbao uses blockchain to allocate "sleep-time" to officials
- Sibao converted the dragon horn into a 5G nursing lamp (the memorial automatically generates a lullaby)
- Erbao poured AD calcium milk into the throne room (a fluorescent sign saying "wash your hands frequently" appeared on the floor)
- The system puts diapers on the jade seal (with excrement composition analysis report)
"The latest diplomatic plan!" The system suddenly switched to a nursery rhyme voice: [According to the host's IQ, start the rocking car political discussion mode] The holographic screen popped up:
- Military meeting changed to parent-child yoga class
- Tax policy encrypted into the score of "Two Tigers"
- Border trade launches "teething stick" equivalent
Suddenly, the jade seal exploded into a rain of milk powder, and the mechanical confinement nanny popped up a warning: [The 27th parenting experiment failed...] Sibao climbed onto the mechanical arm, and the dragon horn data stream cracked the program - the interstellar picture showed that the male protagonist was bound by twenty-seven parenting codes, and the experimental log was marked "2023.02.27 Father's Love Observation Day".
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**Section 3: Holographic Dad Post**
When the mechanical confinement nanny started the weaning process, Sibao suddenly took out an electronic rattle and said, "Activate the ultimate secret - time and space diaper rewind!"
The system suddenly crashes with a blue screen:
- Sanbao's abacus generates a holographic projection of "Daddy, hold me up high" (the court officials collectively reach out for a hug)
- Sibao Dragon Corner Projection Baby Surveillance Video (The male protagonist prepares milk powder late at night)
- Mo Dao picks up the electronic diaper with a family portrait printed on it (automatically signed by the Northern Wei Dynasty)
- 100,000 people sang "Where Are We Going, Dad?" and performed square dance
Mechanical maternity nurses all crashed, and baby bottles turned into glow sticks. The floor tiles of the Golden Throne Hall cracked, revealing an interstellar childcare surveillance video—in which the protagonist used the imperial seal to stamp the footprints of four babies, each scarlet mark bearing the inscription "Father's Love Certificate."
"Experiment 27 failed..." A mechanical voice echoed, and the court shrank into a children's government playhouse. Sibao fished out a quantum milk bottle from the pile of memorials, and the scale showed a lunar nursery. "Daddy said that every time I feed you, it's in the shape of my love for you~"
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