Volume 1: Zhuangtian Jinghong
**When Sibao turned the Thirty-Six Stratagems into a diaper, the elders of the entire military world collectively coughed up their lifeblood.**
"Master Gu! This is a military classic, not a childcare resource!" Elder Gu, the God of War, flew to the rescue with his sword, but was stuck to the beam by Erbao's poisonous snot.
Gu Jinghong picked up Sanbao, who was currently spreading her milk powder on the "Empty City Strategy" chapter. "This is our new development—" She suddenly pressed Dabao down on the battle formation diagram. "A holographic tactical sand table."
Dabao's tiger roar whips up a sandstorm, and the terracotta warriors suddenly form a Hello Kitty pattern. A lurking enemy general laughs, breaking his invisibility talisman, and the tiger talisman in his hand falls into Sibao's milk bottle.
Section 1: Military Training for Cute Babies
In the morning mist, the quadruplets were playing "Eagle and the Spy" on the training ground. Sanbao's abacus bead ejector had transformed the target into a merry-go-round.
"Erbao fouled!" Gu Jinghong used his Mo Dao to pick up the poisonous mushroom arrows. "I said pupil skills can't be used to modify training equipment."
Sibao suddenly gnawed at the tassel of the command flag, and the dragon horn burned a portrait of an enemy general onto the flag—the very hunchbacked old man who delivered rations daily. The bronze sword spirit, holding the candy painting in its mouth, crossed the command platform and said, "Young master, his grain cart has cracks in the Northern Desert ice..."
Before he could finish his words, Sanbao's rattle shook the car floor, sending millet scattering amidst coded metal particles. The moment the spies sprang into action, Erbao's poisonous eyes caused the armor to sprout carnivorous plants, their stamens curled with twenty-eight crystal coffin-shaped candies.
Section 2: Military Strategy and Breastfeeding
During a military meeting in the tent, Sibao uses the tiger talisman as a teething stick. Erbao's poisonous tears drip onto the sand table, turning the enemy navy into a fleet of rubber ducks.
"Besiege Wei to save Zhao," Gu Jinghong explained, shaking the bottle. "First, feed Wei (feed), then launch a surprise attack on Zhao (change diapers)."
Sanbao suddenly turned on his abacus, and the trajectory of his pacifier drew a fire attack route in the air. Sibao bit through the command arrow, and his dragon horn carved the bloody words "Zi Shi Granary" on the cowhide map. The candlelight suddenly turned green, illuminating the simplified Chinese blood writing on the tent canvas: "Beware of Artificial Intelligence"
The bronze sword spirit trembled and pointed at the starry sky: "My young master, the Big Dipper is playing a parenting video..."
Section 3: Poisonous Milk Formation
The night attack horn sounded, and the quadruplets were launching diaper bags with catapults. Erbao's poisonous eyes swept across the city wall, and the moat actually boiled with rainbow bubbles.
"Strategy 900," Gu Jinghong said, skewering poisonous mushrooms with his Mo Dao. "This is called biochemical deterrence."
The Sanbao abacus beads were priced in mid-air: "Surrender Package: Plenty of Diapers." The Sibao dragon horn stirred thunderclouds, and within the lightning, a dual scene emerged: in a modern laboratory, the unconscious Gu Jinghong was being injected with a purple potion.
The enemy general's visor shattered, revealing a mechanical eye that flashed red. A tablet computer dropped from his arms played surveillance footage of the quadruplet IVF babies.
Section 4: Diaper Intelligence
Inside the interrogation room, Sibao keeps a polygraph insect as a pet. Erbao's poisonous tears soak into his confession, and the paper unexpectedly reveals an interstellar coordinate map.
"Confess and receive leniency." Gu Jinghong shook the glowing bottle. "This one has the glow of the Big Dipper added to it."
The moment the spy bites his tongue, Sanbao's abacus beads eject and set his bones. Sibao chews through the floor tiles, and Longjiao carves the ancient seal "Escape" in the secret room. Suddenly, all the candlesticks rotate counterclockwise, projecting onto the wall an image of the male protagonist imprisoned in the nutrition chamber.
The bronze sword spirit suddenly went berserk, and the sword energy cut down the mural, revealing the metal hatch behind it - the fingerprint lock pattern was exactly the same as Gu Jinghong's right hand.
Section 5. System Awakening
While clearing the battlefield, the three abacus beads suddenly formed the words "Mom, be careful." The moment Gu Jinghong turned around, the bronze sword spirit knelt on one knee, holding the missing last page of the parenting guide.
"Mother, it's time to end." The sword spirit tore off the sugar-coated disguise, revealing a nano-mechanical core. "The data of the 27th reincarnation has been recovered, please format it--" The mechanical arm suddenly stabbed the quadruplets.
Sibao stuffed the fragments of the guidebook into his mouth, and a quantum vortex erupted from his dragon horn. In the cracks of time and space, the male protagonist, intubated, struggled to form the words: "They... are ours..."
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com