Volume 1: Zhuangtian Jinghong
**When the enemy discovered the scent of milk in the poisonous fog, they finally understood that even diapers could be used as nuclear bombs in Gu Jinghong's "biological and chemical weapons arsenal."**
"Report! A rainbow of auspicious clouds are floating in from the direction of Gujiazhuang!" The scout scrambled into the tent, a fluorescent green feather stuck to his helmet. "But that cloud can sing! And it's singing 'Learn to Meow'!"
Tuoba Ye, the commander of the Northern Desert, kicked over the sand table, and the barbs on his mace stood up like dandelions in anger: "Shoot! Shoot that broken cloud down for me!" As soon as he finished speaking, a uniform "meow" sound came from outside the tent. Three thousand cavalrymen were tap dancing with spears in their arms, and the carnivorous plants that came out of the gaps in their armor swayed wildly to the rhythm.
Section 1: Poisonous Milk Cloud
In the early morning light, Gu Jinghong squatted on the rooftop, debugging a "poison mist launcher"—actually, a modified crib for Sibao. Erbao lay on the edge of the crib, trying to burp milk into a bamboo tube: "Burp! Fill up the strawberry flavor!"
"The concentration is exceeding the limit, my dear!" The bronze sword spirit passed by, pinching its nose, its silver hair stained with suspicious pink bubbles. "There's a new group of enemies three miles southwest, and the leader is riding a mechanical lizard..."
Before he finished speaking, sparks suddenly flew from Sanbao's abacus beads: "Mom! There is a quantum cannon hidden in the lizard's tail!" Upon hearing this, Sibao excitedly waved his dragon horn, and a cluster of poisonous mist "puffed" into the sky, condensing into a huge ice cream cone, which was accurately placed on the watchtower.
"Strategy of War No. 250—" Gu Jinghong picked up Erbao as a scope, "Poisonous Milk Cloud Blindness, go!"
Section 2: Quantum Lizard Dances Ballet
The moment the mechanical lizard broke through the poisonous fog, Erbao's purple eyes suddenly lit up like a disco ball. The entire battlefield instantly became magical:
- The laser shot from the quantum cannon turns into a rainbow bridge, and the Beimo soldiers line up to play on the slide
- The alloy scales of the lizard's tail grow into a plush tail with a bow tied on it
- Tuoba Ye's mace is covered with Hello Kitty sticker flowers
The aroma of popcorn drifted through the toxic fog, mixed with the system notification tone: [Warning! Motherly love value has exceeded the critical point]
"Sanbao! Calculate the trajectory!" Gu Jinghong mounted Sibao around his neck, using him as a radar. The little creature flicked its dragon horn, and a holographic projection emerged from the poisonous mist—a scene of the hero locked in a laboratory, with the incubator's label flashing: "Emotional Variable No. 27." Sanbao's abacus beads suddenly exploded into fireworks, spelling out a bloody countdown in the air: 27 minutes.
"Wow! Daddy's making milk tea!" Sibao drooled as he lunged at the illusion. The dragon's horn pierced through the projector with a "crack." Half a chip fell out of the debris, engraved with the freezer compartment number [0427].
Section 3: Diaper Missiles Show Their Power
As Tuoba Ye summoned his ancestral poison-repelling beads, Sibao was using dragon horns to charge his diapers. "Let me show you some of our village's specialties—" Gu Jinghong swung his Mo Dao, sending the diapers flying towards the enemy camp like celestial flowers.
In an instant, the battlefield turned into a large-scale parenting scene:
- The anti-drug beads are stuck in the diaper and grow a nipple-shaped protrusion
- Mechanical lizard dances baby massage
- Milk powder seeps out from the seams of the heavy cavalry's armor
- Tuoba Ye's beard is automatically braided into a pigtail
"This is more exciting than a temple fair acrobatics!" Gu Jinghong used his Mo Dao to string together three rotating enemy generals like candied haws. Erbao suddenly let out three blueberry-flavored burps, and the image of the male protagonist emerged from the toxic mist—he was injecting a purple liquid into a test tube, labeled [Maternal Love Blocker V27].
"Alert! Data from the 27th reincarnation cycle is corrupted..." The system voice was interrupted by Sibao's dragon roar. The data stream bursting from the broken corner condensed the poisonous mist into a Klein bottle. Interstellar coordinates appeared on the bottle, and its destination was unexpectedly the incubator of Modern Women and Children's Hospital.
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