＞The milk stains from the “Bottle Truce” had not yet dried, but the four-nation delegations jointly presented the “Ten Thousand Infants Enlightenment Ceremony”.
＞The Beidi wolf crawling competition hides elimination traps, the Xiling military strategy sand table is covered with poisonous mushrooms, and even the Gu worm recognition picture books in southern Xinjiang are quietly laying eggs.
> Chen Bao’s plan is to settle accounts with the “early childhood education hegemony” in the Imperial Study, Er Bao’s pacifier is upgraded to “anti-brainwashing” mode, and San Bao’s Yun Zhou drags an ink bucket to splatter “free graffiti”.
> The Lingbao Wetting Ceremony draws a "Chaos Diplomacy Flowchart," and the Poisonous Tongue System announces: "Anyone who makes baby regulations again will be punished as a 100-year saliva interest officer!"
Xiao Jue looked at the totems of the four nations in his daughter's urine and sighed softly, "This temple power struggle is ultimately like the cloud pattern on her diaper."
---
The terrifying prospect of the "Eternal Hand-Shaking Official" froze all the four nations' impetuous military adventures at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, like the most precise milk thermometer. The smoke of war at Wolf Pass was completely extinguished by the milk mist, and a subtle, milk-scented tranquility returned to the northern border. The Northern Di royal court, with resentment, recalled the burping Hu Yanzhuo. Border probing in the southern border of Xiling subsided, and even the pro-war factions in the Donghuang court inexplicably lowered their voices.
Inside the general's mansion, Lingbao's milk aversion was like the raging fires of war in the north, coming and going as quickly as they had. Now, the little ancestor embraced his bottle as if it were a treasure. While the sound of his sucking might not freeze time and space, it was still full and energetic, a testament to his vibrant vitality. A'Luo and Su Li finally breathed a sigh of relief, and the atmosphere within the mansion returned to a warm and cozy state. On the wall of pickle jar No. 7, next to the faintly glowing words "Eternal Diaper Officer," a new line of runes with the texture of milk stains quietly appeared: "Wartime Prohibitions·Hand Shake Officer Warning." The old hen, Jinhua, seemed accustomed to the increasingly complex "warning signs" surrounding the jar, calmly leading her chicks to forage a little further away.
However, the chess players from these four countries clearly understood the principle of "if one path is blocked, find another." With their hard knives bent by a baby bottle and their soft knives shattered by an abacus, they resorted to a more dignified and irresistible weapon: the inheritance of civilization and universal values.
A "state gift," beautifully bound and as thick as a brick, signed by the monarchs of the four kingdoms and stamped with the four imperial seals, was delivered to the desks of the Donghuang Emperor and the General's Mansion under the escort of solemn ceremonial guards. It was titled:
**[Sacred Convention of Good Neighborliness and Common Prosperity among Four Countries and the Enlightenment of Infants and Young Children’s Minds and the Laying of the Foundation for Virtue]**
Abbreviation: "Ten Thousand Infants Enlightenment Ceremony".
The tome is bordered with gold foil and held on a jade scroll. The inner pages are written on specially crafted snow-shadow silk and feature exquisite illustrations. It opens with a eloquent statement: "We express our gratitude for the arrival of the Chaos Divine Infant, Prince Ling, a milestone in early childhood education!" The four nations, grateful for the divine mandate, are willing to put aside past grudges and pool the culmination of millennia of child-rearing wisdom to forge this universal code of enlightenment! It aims to lay a unified, standardized, and efficient foundation for the minds and moral conduct of children worldwide, guiding the direction of civilization for generations to come! We sincerely invite His Highness, Prince Ling, Su Ling, to serve as the "First Holy Infant of Enlightenment," to personally practice and set an example for the world!
"What a big hat!" Su Li sneered as she flipped through the "Great Code" that exuded a faint scent of ink and invisible pressure. "'Unified standards'? 'Efficient foundation'? Are they trying to force all the children in the world into the same mold and carve them out? And they're even using Ling'er as a model room?"
Xiao Jue's eyes swept over those carefully designed "standardized" clauses:
* **Beidi's contribution: "Icefield Wolf-Sex Speed Crawling Standards"** - requires that the baby crawling route be equipped with simulated wind and snow, wolf howling sound obstacles, and introduces a last-in-first-out elimination system (under the euphemism of stimulating a sense of competition).
* **Xi Ling formulated: "Military Game Enlightenment Sandbox Operation Guidelines"** - the sandbox has a complex terrain, covered with miniature poisonous swamps (representing strategic traps) and miniature explosive symbols disguised as mushrooms (representing battlefield risks), requiring infants and children to "comprehend the wisdom of survival through setbacks."
* **Compiled by Nanjiang: "Picture Book on the Recognition of Symbiotic Gu Insects of All Spirits (Introduction Edition)"** - The picture book is exquisite, but each page is embedded with dormant micro-symbiotic Gu worm eggs. When it is turned, the Gu egg receptors are activated by the gentle breath, and they quietly attach, subtly establishing a subconscious connection of "symbiosis with Gu".
* **Written by Donghuang: "Three Hundred and Sixty Rules of Etiquette for Infant and Child Behavior through Rites and Music"** - From the angle of holding the baby in the cradle, controlling the decibel level of crying, to the rhythm of chewing complementary food, and managing the time of defecation, there are rules for everything, no matter how big or small. Violators are considered "improper" and need to be "corrected" by tapping the palm of their hands with a special ruler (with a heart-clearing mantra).
Each and every clause, cloaked in the golden guise of "science," "wisdom," and "tradition," is filled with sinister intentions of discipline, control, and even spiritual stigma! Their ultimate goal is to transform all infants, including Lingbao, into "standardized products" that conform to the cultural hegemony of the four nations.
"It's called enlightenment, but it's actually a shackle. Using Ling'er as a banner, they're carrying out cultural colonization." Xiao Jue's voice was as cold as ice.
"Take it! Why not?" Su Li closed the "Great Code" with a sharp light in his eyes. "They have already made the 'Civilization Shackles'. If we don't try them on, how can we know if they are easy to smash? Let Chen'er's abacus weigh the weight of this 'holy code', let Heng'er's pacifier taste the taste of this 'enlightenment', and let Yu'er's Yunzhou throw some color on this 'norm'!"
Chen Bao's face was as tight as a sheet of iron, and the abacus beads were humming softly, clearly beginning to deduce the logical traps and energy control nodes behind this "enlightenment system." Second Bao, Su Heng, was holding his pacifier, seemingly understanding, but when he heard the word "shackles," he instinctively clung to his golden pacifier, as if it held the key to breaking free from all restraints. Third Bao, Su Yu, was eager to try: "Yun Zhou! Splash! Draw!"
Lingbao was in Xiao Jue's arms, trying hard to put a chubby finger into his nostrils to explore, completely unaware of this "holy book" that was about to shake up the world and the "shackles" his parents mentioned.
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