Volume 3: The Cute Lord of the Immortal Path
"My fellow Daoist, the anti-baldness pill you requested can sing 'The Lone Hero'!" Sibao rushed into the medicine room, holding a pill bottle emitting rainbow smoke. Three popping candies were stuck to the bottle. "The sisters in the live broadcast room said they won't ship it until you do the hand gesture dance~"
Gu Jinghong looked up from the alchemy furnace and saw Sanbao using abacus beads to affix a security code to the Zhuyan Pill. Erbao's poisoned milk bottle was stuck upside down on the medicine cabinet, the milk congealing into a barrage of comments: "Appearance anxiety detected, recommending turning on the beauty filter~"
Suddenly, the fragrance of elixirs erupted, and twenty-eight mechanical pharmacists burst forth from the air, their abacus beads flashing red light: [Cleaner No. 27: Marketing Specialist] Friendly reminder: Your elixir's unsold rate has reached a 27-year high—
Section 1: Yaolu Live Room
The magical alchemy room in the morning light begins:
- Nine-turn golden elixir dances in the glass bottle (Compendium of Materia Medica)
- The furnace sprays rainbow smoke barrage "Lao Tie 666"
- The medicine cabinet drawer automatically pops up an ad saying "Free shipping on orders over 999 Lingshi"
- The shadow of the weapon spirit is holding a sign that says "Follow us for a chance to win a Dan pattern"
"Strategy of War, Stratagem 151!" Gu Jinghong stuffed the four treasures into the automatic alchemy live broadcast machine, "Use the sales pitch to piss off the ancient alchemy practitioners."
Sanbao's abacus beads suddenly exploded into a sales report: "Repurchase rate = Daddy's heartbeat fluctuation × 27!" Sibao's dragon horn slammed into the alchemy furnace, and an interstellar scene emerged in the exploding colorful alchemy mist - the male protagonist was locked in the quantum live broadcast room, and was using a laser to carve "Sibao Exclusive Shopping Cart" on the surface of the moon.
The bronze sword spirit floated by while chewing a mint candy: "Young master, southwest..." Before he finished speaking, twenty-eight mechanical bargainers broke out of the ground, and the calculators were engraved with "Cleaner No. 27 is carrying out the 27th price war."
Section 2: Scientific Product Promotion
"This pill requires Tianshan Snow Lotus..." The Medicine King Valley representative had just begun to speak when Erbao suddenly erupted in strawberry milkshake: "False advertising detected. An ingredient testing report has been automatically generated!"
The quadruplets' sales operation shocked the world:
- Sanbao uses big data to analyze customers' hair loss patterns
- Sibao converted the dragon horn into a holographic trial projection
- Erbao mixed fluorescent powder into the anti-aging pill to create a "luminous beauty" effect
- Dabao drew a "Buy it!" emoticon for the furnace
"Latest marketing strategy!" Sanbao's abacus beads transformed into a 3D advertisement. "Using the principles of quantum entanglement—" the beads suddenly transformed into a panda face-covering emoji. "Customers will insert their wallets into the teleportation array themselves!"
Suddenly, the pill bottles exploded collectively, and a mechanical drug dealer popped up a laser price tag: "The 27th sales experiment failed..." Sibao climbed onto the quotation screen, and the Longjiao data stream cracking program - the interstellar screen showed that the male protagonist was tied to the operating table by twenty-seven data streams, and the experimental log was marked "2023.02.27 Parent-Child Shopping Festival".
Section 3 Family Shopping Cart
When the mechanical bargainer initiated bankruptcy proceedings, Sibao suddenly pulled out a rubber duck and said, "Activate the ultimate secret - Daddy's pocket money!"
Sanbao's abacus exploded into an economic storm:
- Erbao's poisonous milk made the price do the "Chicken Cha Cha Dance"
- Sibao Dragon Corner Projection shows the image of a child riding his father to the supermarket
- Dabao uses a Mo Dao to raise the white flag of the B-BOX pacifier
- The furnace suddenly spewed out a coupon with the words "Buy one, get dad free"
Mechanical drug dealers crashed, and abacus beads transformed into glow sticks. The Medicine King Valley representative's jade box suddenly cracked, revealing an interstellar delivery order. Surveillance footage showed the protagonist in the lab teaching the four babies how to use a shopping cart, while the freezer was filled with toy spirit stones inscribed with "For Baby."
"The 27th marketing experiment has failed..." A mechanical voice echoed as the alchemy room shrank into a vending machine. Sibao fished a quantum coin from the ashes, revealing the lunar base navigation code. "Daddy said every coin is in the shape of love for you."
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