Chapter 68 You're Never Allowed to Leave Again
That afternoon, the sunlight slanted into the shop, and the wind chimes on the door jingled.
A man dressed in a way that seemed out of place on this old street walked in.
"Hello," the man said, his voice gentle and magnetic, "Do you offer custom-made clothing?"
Wen Xiaoxiao put down her work and stood up: "Yes, I can. What do you need me to do?"
(Hahaha, did you all think it was our Fei-ge? No, it's Xiaoxiao's benefactor who has arrived.)
The man took a blueprint out of the brown paper bag he was carrying and laid it on the cutting table.
The lines on the drawing are smooth and unique, unlike the styles commonly found on the market. It features an asymmetrical collar, exaggerated sleeves, and a cutout design at the waist.
"Can this be made?" he asked, pointing to the blueprints.
Wen Xiaoxiao looked at it carefully.
Although the design is unusual, the dimensions, proportions, and details are all very professional.
She nodded: "I can do it. But I've never made this style before, so I might have to try a few more times."
“It’s alright,” the man smiled, revealing a set of neat white teeth. “I trust your skills. I’ve asked around, and everyone on this street says Master Wen is a great cook.”
And so, Zheng Shangyu became a regular at the tailor shop.
Every ten days or so, he would bring new designs: sometimes a coat as loose as a Taoist robe, sometimes a dress as tight as a sculpture, and sometimes "strange clothes" made of several different fabrics pieced together.
Wen Xiaoxiao initially thought these designs were too outrageous, but after they were made, she found that although the styles were unique, the cuts, patterns, and finished products were all eye-catching.
Moreover, Zheng Shangyu is generous and never haggles.
After they got to know each other better, Wen Xiaoxiao couldn't help but ask, "Mr. Zheng, what do you do? These clothes... don't look like something an ordinary person would wear."
Zheng Shangyu was looking at a diagonally plaid top that she had just finished. Hearing this, he looked up and said, "I'm a fashion designer, and I work in Shanghai. These are my new designs, and I brought them to you for sampling."
"Fashion designer?" Wen Xiaoxiao had never heard of this profession before.
“Yes, she’s the person who designs clothes,” Zheng Shangyu explained. “Like the floral shirt you’re wearing now,” he pointed to the one Wen Xiaoxiao was wearing.
"They are ready-to-wear garments, mass-produced in factories. But what I design are 'fashion pieces,' each one unique."
Wen Xiaoxiao nodded, seemingly understanding but not quite.
She recalled the exorbitantly priced "brand-name goods" in the department stores back in the provincial capital; they were probably designed by people like this.
That afternoon, Zheng Shangyu came again.
The design he brought made Wen Xiaoxiao blush. It was a swimsuit with very little fabric, or more precisely, a "bikini".
In a small town in the 1990s, this style only existed in foreign movies.
"This... I can't do this." Wen Xiaoxiao pushed the blueprints back, her voice trembling slightly.
Zheng Shangyu laughed: "Why? The less fabric there is, the higher the craftsmanship requirements, which is a good test of your skills."
“It’s not a matter of craftsmanship,” Wen Xiaoxiao said, her face turning even redder. “This outfit… what would it look like to wear out? Mr. Zheng, if I didn’t know you, I would definitely think you were being indecent and kick you out.”
Zheng Shangyu was not angry at all; instead, he laughed even more happily.
He pulled up a stool and sat down, looking at Wen Xiaoxiao: "Master Wen, do you know what young girls wear these days in Shanghai, Guangzhou, and other big cities?"
Wen Xiaoxiao shook her head.
The furthest she had ever been was the provincial capital; she had never even ridden a train.
“They wear off-the-shoulder dresses, shorts that reach their upper thighs, and bikinis like these to go swimming,” Zheng Shangyu said slowly. “Times have changed, Master Wen. It’s not like our parents’ generation. Women can wear whatever they want and live however they want.”
Wen Xiaoxiao listened intently.
These words were like a window that opened in front of her, allowing her to glimpse a completely different world.
“There’s more than one way to live life,” Zheng Shangyu said gently. “You running a tailor shop in a small town is one way to live, and me designing clothes in a big city is another. There’s no high or low, noble or base, only what you like or dislike, what you’re willing to do.”
Just then, the shop door was pushed open again.
Wen Xiaoxiao subconsciously looked up: "Welcome!"
The words came to an abrupt halt.
The person standing at the door was the one she had seen countless times in her dreams over the past two years, and the one she had desperately tried to forget after waking up.
Zhao Fei.
(Zhao Fei, Zhao Fei, if you don't show up soon, your wife will be stolen away.)
He stood there, wearing a worn-out gray jacket, his beard neatly shaved, but the dark circles under his eyes and the bloodshot eyes indicated that he had not been doing well lately.
Time seemed to stand still.
The clattering of sewing machines, the sounds of people on the street, and the laughter of children all disappeared.
In Wen Xiaoxiao's world, only the man at the door remained.
Her mind went blank, and her body reacted before her consciousness could react, turning around and trying to run to the back of the shop.
"Xiaoxiao!" Zhao Fei rushed in and grabbed her wrist.
Wen Xiaoxiao struggled to shake off Zhao Fei, but Zhao Fei held on even tighter.
"Let me go..." Her voice trembled.
"I won't let you go." Zhao Fei's voice trembled, a tremor that had been suppressed for too long finally erupting. "Wen Xiaoxiao, I've been looking for you for so long... so long..."
Zheng Shangyu glanced at the two men, then tactfully stood up. "Master Wen, I've left the blueprints here. Come back another day." He nodded to Zhao Fei, then pushed open the door and left.
Wen Xiaoxiao didn't dare look at Zhao Fei, her head lowered, tears streaming down her face uncontrollably: "You...how did you find this place?"
“I’ve been looking for you.” Zhao Fei’s voice was low and hoarse. “I haven’t stopped looking for you since the day you left. I’ve traveled all over the counties and cities around the provincial capital and asked every possible contact… Later, Zhao Qingda told me you were here, so I came.”
Wen Xiaoxiao suddenly looked up: "Zhao Qingda? He..."
"He offered to trade your whereabouts for a house," Zhao Fei said with a wry smile. "I didn't agree, but I found out where you were. So I came here, I came a year ago."
Wen Xiaoxiao's eyes widened.
“Yes, I’ve been here for a while.” Zhao Fei released her wrist, then gently grasped her shoulder, forcing her to look at him. “I’m right across the street, in that black Santana, watching you.”
His eyes were terribly red: "Every day I watch you open the door, sweep the floor, and operate the sewing machine. I watch you fall asleep on the table from exhaustion... I watch you, but I don't dare to come in. I'm afraid that if I come in, you'll run away again and disappear without a trace."
She then remembered that the subtle feeling of being watched, the strange black car across the street, and the almost-caught glimpse of his profile... it was all him.
“Xiaoxiao,” Zhao Fei’s voice choked with emotion, “Do you know how I’ve been all these years? During the day, when I couldn’t find you, I worked myself to the bone, expanding the three pig farms into five. At night, when I couldn’t sleep, I would drive around, wondering which street corner or alley you might be on… Yidi asked me, ‘Dad, when is Auntie coming back?’ I didn’t know how to answer. My mother-in-law advised me to look forward, but how could I look forward? My heart is with you, what do I have to look forward to?”
Wen Xiaoxiao cried so hard she couldn't speak, she could only shake her head frantically.
"I finally found you, but I still didn't dare to see you."
Zhao Fei's tears also fell, landing on Wen Xiaoxiao's hand. "I'd rather just watch you from afar, at least I'd know where you are, know that you and the children are alright..."
He raised his hand and wiped away her tears with his rough thumb. "I moved the whole family here, Xiaoxiao. I rented a place nearby and transferred Yidi's school registration. I just wanted to be closer to you, even if we can't see each other, at least we can breathe the same air and watch the same sun rise and set..."
"But do you know what? The pain of seeing but not being able to see is driving me crazy."
Zhao Fei's hands trembled slightly. "I dream about you every night. I dream that you turn around and see me, that you smile at me. But when I wake up, there's only an empty room. I can't take it anymore, Xiaoxiao, I really can't take it anymore."
He suddenly released her, took a step back, and then, this decisive and ruthless man in the business world, actually knelt down in front of her with a thud.
"I'm begging you, Xiaoxiao." He looked up at her, tears streaming down his face. "Give me a chance, okay? I won't force you, I won't pressure you, you can do whatever you want. Let me take care of you and the children, let me make up for the past two years... please?"
As Wen Xiaoxiao looked at Zhao Fei kneeling in front of her, seeing the humility and pain in his eyes, her last line of defense completely collapsed!
For the past two years, she has always thought that she was not good enough for him and that she was a burden to him.
She thought leaving him was for his own good, to give him a fresh start.
She also knelt down, looking Zhao Fei in the eye.
Then she reached out and gently cupped his face in her hands.
"Zhao Fei," her voice was soft, yet exceptionally clear, "it wasn't you who begged me. It was you... who gave me charity."
Zhao Fei was stunned.
"I am a divorced woman with three children whose fathers I don't know. I run a tailor shop in a small town and barely make ends meet."
Wen Xiaoxiao's tears welled up again.
"And you, Zhao Fei, you have a pig farm, a big house, and a bright future. You could easily find a decent girl, have children, and live a life that others envy. But you didn't. You've been looking for me for two years, waiting for me for two years, and now... now you're kneeling here begging me."
She shook her head, tears streaming down her face: "It wasn't you who begged me to give you a chance, it was you who gave me an immense favor, an opportunity I never dared to dream of."
"Xiaoxiao..." Zhao Fei wanted to say something, but was interrupted by Wen Xiaoxiao.
She opened her arms and hugged him tightly.
“I’m not leaving,” Wen Xiaoxiao whispered in his ear, “I’ll never leave again.”
That evening, Zhao Fei took Wen Xiaoxiao, the three children, and Liu Shuhua to his rented house.
The apartment was in a tenement building in a small community near the tailor shop. It had two bedrooms and a living room; it wasn't big, but it was clean and tidy.
When Zhao Yidi saw Wen Xiaoxiao, she was stunned for a moment, then burst into tears and threw herself into her arms: "Auntie! Where have you been! I missed you so much!"
Wen Xiaoxiao hugged the girl who had grown quite a bit taller, her heart filled with a bittersweet feeling: "Yidi, my dear, Auntie missed you too."
When Zhou Lanying came out of the kitchen and saw this scene, her eyes also reddened.
She walked over, took Wen Xiaoxiao's hand, and looked her up and down: "Xiaoxiao, you've lost weight... so much weight. It must have been so hard for you to raise three children all by yourself."
“Auntie…” Wen Xiaoxiao choked up and couldn’t speak.
"It's good that you're back, it's good that you're back." Zhou Lanying wiped away her tears. "From now on, let's live a good life as a family."
Dinner was prepared by Zhou Lanying; it consisted of four dishes and a soup, and the table was full of food.
Yizhen and Yibao were a little reserved at first, but they quickly became familiar with each other after being guided by Zhao Yidi.
The three girls chattered away, filling the room with a long-lost liveliness.
Wen Xiaogai was held in Liu Shuhua's arms, her big, dark eyes wide with curiosity as she looked at her new surroundings.
When Zhao Fei teased him, he grinned, revealing his pink gums through his toothless mouth.
By the time we finished eating, it was completely dark.
Zhao Fei said, "It's getting late, let's not go back to the shop, let's just squeeze in here."
Zhou Lanying took Zhao Yidi to sleep in the master bedroom, but Zhao Yidi insisted on sleeping with Yizhen and Yibao, so they squeezed into one bed.
Liu Shuhua took Wen Xiaogai to sleep in the second bedroom. Wen Xiaoxiao originally wanted to go to the second bedroom as well, but Zhao Fei stopped her.
"Let Aunt Liu and the child sleep, you...you talk to me." Zhao Fei's eyes were filled with a cautious plea.
Wen Xiaoxiao nodded.
Zhao Fei made a makeshift bed on the living room floor, and the two sat on the sofa, unsure of what to say to each other.
Two years of silence, there are so many things I want to say, but I don't know where to begin.
Finally, Zhao Fei spoke first: "Shall we go sit in the car? It's not convenient to talk here."
Wen Xiaoxiao followed him downstairs.
The black Santana was parked downstairs. Zhao Fei opened the car door, and the two of them got in.
The carriage was quiet; you could hear each other breathing.
Zhao Fei didn't turn on the lights; only the light from the streetlights shone through the window, casting flickering shadows on their faces.
"How have you been these past two years?" Zhao Fei asked softly.
Wen Xiaoxiao leaned back in her chair and slowly recounted her experiences over the past two years: how she left the provincial capital while pregnant, how she settled down in a neighboring city, how she gave birth to Xiao Gai, and how she gradually built up her tailor shop...
She spoke calmly, but Zhao Fei felt as if his heart was being torn apart.
He could imagine how difficult it must be for a pregnant woman with two young daughters, all alone and without any relatives or friends, in a strange city.
"I'm sorry," he said, holding her hand, "it's all my fault..."
“It has nothing to do with you…” Wen Xiaoxiao continued, “I left on my own. I feel… I’m not good enough for you.”
"Nonsense!" Zhao Fei's voice suddenly rose. "What do you mean by 'good enough' or 'not good enough'? In my life, I, Zhao Fei, have only ever been committed to you, Wen Xiaoxiao! I don't want anyone else but you!"
Zhao Fei took out a small cloth bag from his pocket, opened it layer by layer, and inside was a gold bracelet.
“Do you remember this?” he asked softly.
Wen Xiaoxiao certainly remembered.
It was something Zhao Fei secretly gave her after she gave birth to Zhen and Bao.
When she ran away from home, she left this bracelet with Zhao Fei.
He took Wen Xiaoxiao's hand and carefully slipped the bracelet onto her wrist.
The gold jewelry was cool to the touch, but felt as hot as a branding iron against her skin.
“This time,” Zhao Fei looked at her and said, word by word, “you are not allowed to take it off again. Not in this lifetime.”
Looking at the bracelet on her wrist, and then at her reflection in Zhao Fei's eyes, Wen Xiaoxiao felt that the emptiness in her heart that had lasted for two years was finally filled.
She suddenly leaned in and kissed his lips.
The kiss came suddenly, yet it seemed like it had been planned for a long time.
Two years of longing and torment all erupted in this kiss.
Zhao Fei kissed her back forcefully, his arms tightly wrapped around her waist, as if he wanted to meld her into his own body.
The temperature inside the carriage suddenly rose.
My breathing became rapid, and my heart pounded like a drum.
The long separation made this reunion almost destructive.
Zhao Fei's hand slipped inside her clothes, his palm burning hot.
Wen Xiaoxiao didn't dodge; instead, she pressed herself even closer to him.
All restraint and concerns vanished at that moment.
"Xiaoxiao..." Zhao Fei asked breathlessly in her ear, "There's no room upstairs... Shall we... go back inside the shop?"
Wen Xiaoxiao's face turned as red as if it were about to bleed, but she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and nodded almost imperceptibly.
The car started and drove into the depths of the night.
The tailor shop, the little house where Wen Xiaoxiao had lived for more than two years, finally welcomed its male owner on this night.
Outside the window, the moonlight was as clear as water.
Inside the house, dry wood blazed fiercely.
Two years of separation,
Two years of longing,
On this night, I finally found my home and release.
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