Chapter 41 Li Rui's Death Anniversary
The photos have been retrieved, two in total.
One photo shows twins sitting side by side on a red velvet chair. One, Zhen, is staring wide-eyed with curiosity, while the other, Bao, is pursing her lips as if she's smiling.
The other photo is a candid shot taken by the old man as Zhao Fei and Wen Xiaoxiao were supporting the child on either side.
Wen Xiaoxiao found an old picture frame and carefully placed the two photos side by side inside.
She hung the framed picture in the most conspicuous spot on the kang (heated brick bed) in the east wing, so that it could be seen at a glance.
The afternoon sunlight slanted in and fell on the picture frame.
Wen Xiaoxiao held Yibao, who had just woken up, pointed to the people in the photo, and whispered, "Look, this is my older sister, this is Yibao, this is... Uncle... this is Mom."
The child naturally couldn't understand, and just stretched out his little hand, trying to grab the bright spots reflecting on the glass.
There is hope for the future.
She thought.
For their sake, we must keep moving forward no matter how difficult it is.
That afternoon, Wenbin came to visit the two children. He was playing with Yibao while holding a rattle drum, and Wenxiaoxiao was washing clothes in the yard.
At this moment, Li Yugu returned.
She wasn't alone; she was holding her eldest grandson in her arms.
Li Yugu's wrinkles smoothed out; her heart had long been firmly tied to that small house in the suburbs by her heavy-hearted grandson.
But people are not stones after all.
Stepping into the courtyard and seeing Wen Xiaoxiao hanging diapers to dry, Li Yugu felt a pang of lingering guilt.
She avoided Wen Xiaoxiao's gaze, hugged her grandson closer, and quickly went into her room.
After a while, she came out with a bundle containing her thick winter clothes.
She walked up to Wen Xiaoxiao, took out a neatly folded hundred-yuan bill from her pocket, and stuffed it into Wen Xiaoxiao's hand.
"Here, buy some formula and a new outfit for the child." Li Yugu's voice was hoarse, his eyes looking elsewhere. "I... my child is still young and needs someone to look after him, so I won't be coming back often lately."
Wen Xiaoxiao held the banknote, which was still warm from her body, but felt a chill in her heart.
At this moment, Wenbin came out and saw the child in Li Yugu's arms. His face darkened.
He asked in a cold voice, "Auntie, whose baby are you holding?"
Li Yugu's face flushed red and then turned pale; he didn't know how to answer.
Wenbin added, "Bring Zhao Qingda back and give Xiaoxiao an explanation! Otherwise, don't blame me for being impolite!"
Li Yugu held his grandson, said nothing, picked up his bag, and hurriedly left.
When they reached the entrance of the alley, they were stopped by Aunt Liu, who was already waiting there.
"Sister-in-law Yugu, you're finally back!" Aunt Liu lowered her voice, her eyes glancing at the grandson in her arms. "Oh... this is the one born outside, he seems quite fond of him."
She leaned closer to Li Yugu and lowered her voice, "There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time... Your Zhao Fei and his sister-in-law Xiaoxiao have been getting a little too close lately! A man and a woman living alone in the same courtyard, this... this won't sound good if word gets out! Aren't you afraid people will gossip?"
Li Yugu's heart skipped a beat.
Aunt Liu's words were like a needle, instantly clarifying the vague doubts in her mind.
Feeling a little embarrassed, she forced a smile and said, "His older brother is a kind person. He was just looking after things since Qingda wasn't home..."
"This isn't how you look after someone!" Aunt Liu pouted. "You'd better be careful! Otherwise..."
Li Yugu had no interest in listening any further. He mumbled a couple of replies, then quickly walked away with his grandson in his arms.
But Aunt Liu's words, like a seed, landed in her heart.
Back at her house in the suburbs, she couldn't hold it in any longer and brought it up with Zhao Qingda.
Zhao Qingda was playing with a rattle drum for his son when he heard this. He scoffed, his face full of disdain: "Mom, what are you thinking? Zhao Fei? He wouldn't be interested in Wen Xiaoxiao? With Wen Xiaoxiao's quiet and reserved nature, and two children to support her. Zhao Fei owns three pig farms now, you think he'd be interested in her? What a joke!"
He paused, his tone carrying a strange sense of superiority: "Zhao Fei only lent a hand because of me. He's a stubborn man, don't listen to those gossipy women who keep trying to pin the blame on me! Besides, I even saw him at the movies with his girlfriend once, so stop overthinking it."
He couldn't give her the money; it was all tightly held by Wang Juan.
He couldn't give Wen Xiaoxiao warmth or support; he had long been tired of her.
He was waiting for Yizhen and Yibao to turn one year old so that the two of them could get a divorce.
The weather is getting colder day by day, and the north wind feels like a knife cutting into your face.
Wen Xiaoxiao found the cotton and old fabric she had stored at home and started making cotton-padded clothes for the children.
Zhao Yidi was doing her homework on the side, occasionally looking up with eyes full of dependence: "Second Aunt, the cotton-padded clothes you made must be warm."
"Okay, I'll put it on you when it gets colder in a few days," Wen Xiaoxiao smiled at her.
It's always better to prepare early than to be caught off guard. That's a lesson life has taught her.
That morning, before dawn, Zhao Fei got up.
He changed into clean clothes, his expression was calmer than usual, even carrying a hint of solemnity.
Wen Xiaoxiao also woke up. Hearing the noise, she came out of the east wing and saw him holding paper money in his hand. She understood what was going on.
Today is the anniversary of Li Rui's death.
"Big brother..." she called softly.
Zhao Fei turned around, looked at her, and nodded: "I'll go check on her." He paused, "There's some porridge and steamed buns keeping warm in the pot, remember to eat them."
"Mm," Wen Xiaoxiao replied, watching him leave the courtyard.
Zhao Fei bought incense, candles, and paper money, as well as a bag of peanut candy that Li Rui loved to eat when she was alive.
Li Rui's grave is surrounded by quiet pines and cypresses. Years have passed, and the grass on the grave has turned green and then yellow again.
He squatted in front of the tombstone, lit the incense and candles with a match, and stuck them in the ground.
The flickering firelight illuminated his sharply defined profile.
The paper money was lit, and the orange-red flames swirled up the black ash, which drifted away in the wind.
"Xiao Rui, I've come to see you." He said, his voice a little hoarse.
Facing the cold tombstone, facing his wife whose bones had long since turned to white bones beneath the yellow earth, he found himself at a loss for words, unable to utter the words weighing on his heart.
He remained silent for a long time before slowly beginning to ramble on.
They talked about the pig farm's harvest this year, and how Yidi had grown taller and was doing well in her studies.
Then, his voice lowered, carrying a complex, almost confessional tone:
"There's something I need to tell you. Qingda... he's a scoundrel. He's having an affair with someone named Wang Juan, and they even have a son together... He's leaving Xiaoxiao and the child at home, completely ignoring them. Your aunt... your aunt has gone over there to take care of her grandson too."
He paused for a moment, as if gathering his courage:
“Xiaoxiao is raising two premature babies all by herself, it’s so hard… I… I can’t just leave them alone. I’ll bring her and the babies some food and supplies and help look after them. Yizhen and Yibao… they’re so cute, they look a bit like Yidi when she was little.”
The mountain wind whistled through the pine forest, as if in response.
Zhao Fei raised his head, his eyes filled with guilt, but in the end, it transformed into a deep and resolute determination:
“Xiao Rui, I know I’ve wronged you. But… I feel like I can’t control myself. When I see her suffering, it feels like my heart is being ripped out. When I see the children, I want to give them the best of everything.”
He wiped his face, his eyes welling up with tears.
"I have no face to ask for your forgiveness. But it seems like I can't turn back down this road."
The paper money burned out, and the last spark flickered in the ashes before finally going out completely.
The incense and candles were almost burned to the end.
Zhao Fei stood up and stood quietly in front of the tombstone for a while.
Finally, he reached out, his rough palm gently brushing against the cold stone tablet, his voice so low it was almost inaudible:
“If you have a spirit in heaven… don’t blame her. If you have to blame someone, blame me.”
After saying that, he didn't linger and turned to leave.
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