Chapter 52: When you love someone, you should put her first, rather than ignoring her wishes.
In April, all the flowers on earth fade away, and the peach blossoms in the mountain temple begin to bloom.
After spending an entire night to calm herself down, Gu Guan stood up with a somersault facing the golden morning sun the next day. She took a few deep breaths and hadn't slept all night, but she was still in good spirits.
Gu Guan felt like she'd sorted herself out and felt back to normal, but she wasn't in a rush to go back. She took a half-day off. She first went to Guiyi Prefecture to check on the aftermath of the transaction. Xie Ci had handled the Yehe Ancient Chime's traces very well, so she didn't need to intervene. She said hello to Liu Xing and looked for Xun Xiao. If she couldn't find him, she'd leave it at that.
Afterwards, she led her horse and strolled through the streets and alleys of Guiyizhou, and then walked along the mountain path at the back of the mountain. From the stone platform, she overlooked the rolling Great Wei military camp and found a crooked wild peach tree in the mountains, with twisted branches and a few pink and white petals growing vigorously.
We should be like this wild peach tree!
After that, I kept strolling around until it was getting dark, slept in Guiyizhou for one night, and rode back to Dongying early the next morning.
It was just daybreak, but now the camp was bustling with activity, day and night, with people constantly coming in and out of the gate.
Gu Guan showed her bronze identity badge, and the gatekeeper checked it and let her pass. She walked along the edge of the parade ground, passed through tents of all sizes, and returned to the left wing of Dongying.
Zuo Yi returned from a fierce battle yesterday at noon and is still in the rest period. It is quiet. When she was riding her horse back, she saw the curtain of Xie Ci's tent was lifted, and several people came out. The first one was Xie Ci.
Both of them paused.
Xie Ci continued to give a few instructions to Xie Yun, who took the order and left. He Yuanwei said hello to Gu Wan and left as well. Xie Ci raised his eyes and turned around, and the two men looked at each other.
"Aci." Gu Wan called out first and greeted him with a smile.
She looked the same as usual, and Xie Ci felt a pang in his heart, but he tried his best to suppress his surging emotions and said, "Wan Niang."
Gu Wan's approach was quite correct. After more than a day, Xie Ci finally fell into a deep sleep due to exhaustion, and everyone calmed down.
Early in the morning, the dew on the tips of grass stems and leaves wet the uppers of their boots. The two men walked side by side along the path between the tents. A red sun was half visible from the eastern mountains. The morning sun rose over the mountains, spread across the camp and into the distance.
The two stood and watched the sunrise. Gu Wan stretched out a hand, and the sunlight fell on her palm. She said, "The sun won't shine for now. It won't shine for a while."
It was unbearable to wear armor under the scorching sun, but they were fine. It was their heavy cowhide-bottomed Mingguang heavy armor that was really hot.
"Um."
Xie Ci responded, and the two of them stood beside a small flagpole. Gu Guan tilted her head and reached out to pluck a tender sprout from the fresh flagpole. The lush green color was pinched between her white fingertips.
She leaned against the flag mast, and he stood beside her. Xie Ci listened to her quietly, occasionally responding, just like in the past. When she finally stopped and lowered her head to play with the stalks of young shoots, Xie Ci asked softly, "Wan Niang?"
"Um?"
A gentle breeze blew, bringing with it the morning moisture from the mountains. The dew soaked the boots of both of them, but it quickly disappeared under the sun. Xie Ci glanced at her, clenched his fists, and whispered, "Can you tell me who he is?"
Gu Guan paused for a moment as she played with the leaf buds. Her heart felt like it was being pricked by a fine needle. It didn't hurt much, but the sting was noticeable. She lowered her head and twisted the leaf stem between her fingers a few times. She looked up and smiled, saying softly, "You don't know him. There's no possibility for him and me. But I want to live alone."
Whether it was because Wushan was not the best place to be, or because he had experienced this and felt less concerned, Gu Wan had no intention of looking for another one.
It has always been like this.
It’s not like she can’t live without a man. She thinks it’s good to be alone.
Looking up at Xie Ci, she couldn't help but sigh in her heart, what the hell is this.
She could really swear that she didn't give any wrong signals, so how could this happen?
Xie Ci was stunned when he heard this. "How could this happen?" He was anxious: "Is it because of my family?"
When he first thought of why they were not destined to be together, it was because of the Xie family.
"No, no, no, no, it's not like that. It has nothing to do with the Xie family."
Damn, this hat can't be put on the head of the Loyal and Brave Duke's Mansion. It doesn't matter. Gu Wan quickly shook his head and waved his hands, "Oh, really not, don't let your imagination run wild."
She said seriously: "The Xie family is very good, I am very lucky, really!"
That’s what the original owner thought.
So does Gu Wan.
Gu Guan truly felt that she was lucky to have such a fate in the vast sea of people, which allowed her to find a new family in her loneliness. Even though the conditions in the past were a bit difficult, it was not a big deal.
She cherishes the Xie family and Xie Ci even more, so she put 120% of her heart into handling this matter. She really doesn't want this matter to affect the relationship and feelings between the two of them.
Gu Wan stole a glance at Xie Ci. Xie Ci caught her cautious look and felt a pang in his heart. He clenched his fist under his sleeve for a moment, then loosened it. He also slowly leaned against the flag mast on the other side. "Actually, it doesn't seem to be that serious."
A dull ache in his heart gradually spread to every part of his body, but Xie Ci tried his best to endure it. He showed a thoughtful look and said hesitantly in a tone that was a little confused but not suppressed, "After you said that, the night before last, I felt a little uncomfortable, but it didn't seem as uncomfortable as I imagined."
It was a lie to say that after being told it was impossible and rejected, she stopped being so stubborn. But Xie Ci caught a glimpse of Gu Wan's expression, and her nervous expression relaxed, and a hint of happiness immediately appeared on her face.
Xie Ci took off his helmet and smoothed out a few strands of hair. He showed a worried look and said to Gu Wan, "Hey, you can't alienate me!"
Her long, shiny black hair was tied into a bun, and she had a beautiful widow's peak on her full forehead. Xie Ci was neatly groomed and didn't look haggard at all. He said, "Don't worry, I'll give you the divorce papers when the time comes."
As soon as these words came out, Gu Wan's heart immediately settled down. She showed a look of relief, "Oh, that's what you said!"
She glanced at Xie Ci, who nodded immediately. Gu Wan burst into laughter. She dropped Ye Ya, stood up, patted Xie Ci on the shoulder, and said with a smile, "Why don't we wait until the mourning period is over? It would be more appropriate to write after that."
It's not too bad in these few months.
This was also Gu Wan's original plan, so as to avoid appearing to be impatient, which would be inappropriate.
Looking at Xie Ci's expression, Gu Wan really felt relieved.
The two continued walking forward, chatting as they walked, as if they were back in the past.
They talked about a lot of things, including Xun Xiao's visit the day before yesterday and Xie Ci's decision. Gu Wan also secretly gossiped to Xie Ci about Wen Xuan being hurt by Xun Xiao. It was not until the sun rose high and became more vicious that the two parted reluctantly.
Gu Wan touched his belly and said, "I'll go back and wash my face first."
"Wash your face, brush your teeth, and have breakfast!"
She waved goodbye, and the sunlight fell on her face, adding a bit of brilliance to her smile.
Her slender figure in long black armor was still as majestic as the wind, adding a lot of heroic spirit to her. As she turned the corner, she went to the tent behind and soon disappeared from sight.
Xie Ci stood there, with a somewhat cheerful expression that suddenly disappeared. He stared at the direction where Gu Guan disappeared without blinking. His smile disappeared, his eyelashes trembled, and he finally revealed his true emotions.
He couldn't help but close his eyes, and it took a lot of effort to suppress his emotions. For a moment, his face showed a deep pain.
…
Xie Ci stood there for a long time, until he heard another faint voice behind him, and then he looked away.
He turned around and slowly walked into the big tent.
The familiar furnishings felt empty without the person eating at the same table with him.
He stood in front of the bronze mirror in the inner tent, which he had specially asked Xie Yun to find this morning. He carefully tidied up his appearance so that he did not look haggard at all.
It’s true.
After a long time of discomfort, the sharp pain turned into a dull ache. He threw down his helmet and fell on the camp bed.
Alone, he had no shelter anymore and curled up uncomfortably with his knees hugged. He covered his eyes with his hands, and his palms were hot and wet.
But no matter how difficult it was, the moment I noticed Gu Guan's cautious eyes, all the emotions surging in my heart were cleared away in an instant.
He was licking the wound of unrequited love alone, his eyes hot. It was a kind of pain that made him want to bang his head on the ground. It was a thousand times worse than skinning and bone peeling, but he finally decided to taste it himself.
Xie Ci has experienced so much. When his father and brother died tragically, he had already lost the youthful hysteria caused by not getting what he wanted. He knew too well how good and precious Gu Wan was.
He couldn't bear it, couldn't bear to see her cry, and even more couldn't bear to see that because of his fault, the two of them would end up being just old friends with a deep past.
He was panicked when Gu Guan cried. This thought suddenly flashed through his mind. He thought of it again at the end of last night, but he was still reluctant to make a decision. He thought about it for a day and two nights, but he made up his mind in an instant when he saw Gu Guan's cautious eyes.
——If he couldn't be with her in the end, he thought, he hoped to stay by her side and protect her throughout her life.
Until the end of life.
Xie Ci opened his eyes. The tent ceiling, which was slightly yellow, was as silent as every day before. He felt as if a bucket of coptis root had been poured into his heart, and the bitter taste penetrated into his heart and lungs.
——Perhaps Gu Guan didn’t know how much confusion he had gone through before he was sure of his own heart, but he knew clearly that there would never be a second one.
Millions of people went there.
I don’t know if that “he” in her heart is the same as him.
But the hint of sadness in Gu Guanru's eyes suddenly drew a line between Chu and Han. She was on this side, and he was on the other. He could clearly feel that she didn't want anyone to come to her.
Gu Wan has always been a very clear-headed person who knows what he does and what he wants.
When she said she wanted to live alone, she really wanted to live alone.
What can he do?
The only answer is to stand on the other side of the Chu River and Han River and guard her on the other side.
This was the closest place to her.
Xie Ci sometimes hated himself for being so clear-headed, but he knew clearly that he didn't even have the slightest room to cling to his feelings.
Once he makes a mistake, the distance between them will only get further and further.
He couldn't bear to let go. How could he bear to see the two of them drifting apart and eventually ending up in vain? The tears she had cried the day before yesterday fell on the back of his hand, making it hot. He could still clearly feel the temperature even today.
It was difficult and painful, but Xie Ci ultimately chose to keep all the pain to himself.
Life is full of sufferings, and I am only experiencing one of them. It will pass if I endure it. It is no big deal. If she is fine, he is fine, and everyone is fine, then this little suffering is nothing.
He thought silently that this should be the most suitable path for him.
All thoughts, in the end, only left behind that tall figure like flowing wind and returning snow that was engraved into the soul.
When you love someone, you should put her first, not ignore her wishes.
Xie Ci slowly lay down on the bed and covered his eyes with his hands.
…
There was complete silence in the inner tent. One could only hear the rustling of the wind, which made the tent sway slightly. The sun was blazing brightly.
Xie Ci's heart was like a piece of charcoal left overnight. It had burned fiercely before and turned into ashes. No matter how much air was blown, it could only lie there cold and desolate.
Why is this happening?
At the moment of confession, Xie Ci really couldn't have imagined that it would turn out like this. Although he had thought it through clearly and made the decision, he still felt really sad.
The pain seemed to spread from the cracks in his bones, flowing through his limbs and finally converging in his heart. His chest felt as if it was exploding.
Xie Ci lay on the pillow, his eyes tightly closed, his tears soaking the pillow as he sobbed silently.
He allowed himself to be sad for another day.
Don't do this again.
She's smart, she'll figure it out.
Xie Ci covered his eyes tightly and thought so.
…
But did Gu Wan really put this matter behind him?
Of course not.
After she separated from Xie Ci, turned a few corners, and returned to her tent, the happy smile on her face fell, she scratched her head, and sighed.
After standing for a while, she lifted the curtain and entered the tent. In the cowhide tent, which was already feeling a bit scorching, the air vents were opened and Qin Wenxuan was busy folding and packing clothes for herself, her and Qin Ying.
"Are you cleaning up?"
Qin Wenxuan calmed down a bit, but her eyes were still red. She had been crying for too long, and without ice water, the effect of the compress was not very ideal. She looked a little haggard, but she had cheered up. She looked up and smiled at Gu Wan: "Well, my eldest sister and brother said that we might have to march at any time, so I'll pack my things first."
Gu Guan smiled and greeted her, then sat down and packed with her, packing the things needed for the forced march into three bundles.
When it was almost done, someone called Qin Wenxuan, and Qin Wenxuan hurried over.
Soon, Gu Wan was the only one left in the tent.
Gu Guan tied up the three bundles and threw them aside, then lay down on the bed with his hands behind his head.
She only had time to think about resigning these past two days, and it was so annoying.
How could Xie Ci fall in love with me out of the blue? It was like a bolt from the blue.
Although this morning it seemed that Xie Ci was just confused as a young man, because of the redemption and long-term companionship, and because there was no one else around him, he was temporarily restless.
But Gu Guan didn't actually feel relieved and didn't take it seriously as he appeared to be.
She is not really a naive seventeen-year-old girl.
She has seen countless pigs run and eaten pork.
Well, anyway, I suddenly felt weird when I realized Xie Ci liked me. It was impossible for me to be as calm and composed as before when we were together.
Gu Guan is also very beautiful in modern times. She has a lot of experience in discovering that her friends have a crush on her or have confessed their love for her. She knows that the best way to deal with it now is to keep a distance and let time and space cool down the process.
She scratched her head, but the problem was that now was the critical moment of the fight with Lu Xinyi and Beirong, and traveling far was definitely not an option.
In life and death situations, personal matters come second at best.
"Oh, better get busy."
Gu Guan turned over several times in bed, pulled off her hairband and combed her messy hair. Now she just hoped that Xie Ci was really the same as he said and did not have deep emotions just because of the redemption and the few people around him, and the young boy was ignorant.
This happens to many people, and it gets better after a while.
So Gu Wan thought about it and finally hoped that he could get busy quickly! If he got busy, Xie Ci would have no time to think about those messy things.
…
It's not an isolated case.
Xie Ci thought so too.
There was not much time to heal his emotional wounds. He was so upset that he burst into tears. Finally, Xie Ci asked for cold water. He changed his inner clothes, put on the Mingguang heavy armor again, and repeatedly applied cool water to his eyes. Finally, he could no longer see.
In the bronze mirror, the young man had long eyebrows and a stern look, and was handsome, but his face was gloomy, without a trace of joy or smile, as if he had walked through the cold winter of December, and had suddenly lost all his vitality.
The last bit of youthful spirit behind him eventually disappeared.
Xie Ci lowered his eyes, hiding all emotions in them.
"Has there been any news from Beirong and Lu Xinyi?"
He hopes to get busy as soon as possible.
Perhaps only time could resolve all of this. Once he got used to it, things would get better. So he hoped to quickly get his mind occupied with important matters and work, and stop showing any signs of abnormality.
Get through this and don't let her find out.
Everything should be back on track.
…
However, the final result was exactly what the two of them wanted, and the situation quickly became tense.
The author has something to say:
Don't worry, the distance won't last long. In fact, for two people to finally fall in love and become husband and wife, fate and destiny are very important. Sometimes the push of fate is much more important than human effort.
In our reality, isn’t it the same?
What we want is a fairy-tale love! (Shocking!!)
Haha, a huge kiss to you guys!! See you tomorrow, babies~ (/≧▽≦)/
Finally, I would also like to thank "Wenjiujiujiu" for throwing the mine, pen refill, pen refill!
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And all the big babies who irrigated Wenwen with nutrient solution, mujijiji~
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