Chapter 81 "Don't blame your father and brothers, they are not blindly loyal."
The north wind was howling, and the wind was shaking, and the snow foam and fragments were whistling, hitting people hard and causing pain. There were several loud noises in the distance, and the whole earth shook a few times.
On the white snow, Pang Huai was unable to answer. The more he wiped the blood from his mouth and face, the more it flowed out from between her fingers, staining most of his face red. The pool of blood gradually spread and wet the snow beneath him, which was a shocking sight.
Pang Huai's eyelids could no longer hold up and half drooped. The continuous violent shocks finally made him look painful.
Qin Ying's tears fell down, her hands trembled, she was panicked and looked back at Xie Ci and Gu Wan for help.
——She didn't want him to die, she had no other choice. If possible, could she make him suffer less?
Gu Guan certainly wanted to, but she really had no way to treat Pang Huai's injury. First aid was not enough to cure it, and she didn't have any painkillers.
Facing Qin Ying's pleading tears, she could only shake her head slightly.
Finally, he declined. He leaned over, spread his fingers, and placed his hand on Pang Huai's skull, touching the Baihui acupoint. He pressed his palm down the back of his head, along the nape of his neck, and repeatedly tapped his Du meridian.
The Governor Vessel intersects with the three Yang Meridians of the hands and feet and the Yang Wei Meridian many times, runs along the spine, goes up to the brain marrow, and governs all the Yang Meridians in the body. It is called the "sea of Yang Meridians". Strengthening the Governor Vessel to generate Yang Qi cannot reduce Pang Huai's pain, but it lifted his spirits in his dying moments. His eyelids suddenly lifted, and his disordered breathing like a gossamer became smoother.
Xie Ci leaned over and picked up Pang Huai horizontally. Qin Ying followed hurriedly, and Gu Wan and the others quickly caught up.
Xie Ci found a large rock in the valley that was sheltered from the wind, and then placed Pang Huai on the ground covered with dead grass and white snow a few dozen steps away.
Pang Huai didn't pay much attention to the surroundings. After a brief moment, he moved his eyes away from Qin Ying's face, reached into his waist, pressed it several times with effort, and with a "snap" the belt buckle popped open. He took out a three-finger-wide golden arrow token from it.
He strained to open his eyes. The young man in black armor and long boots before him looked familiar yet had changed a lot. His stunning and fierce features had lost all their youthfulness. His eyebrows and facial features were now sharp and angular, and his figure was agile. He was no longer the androgynous beauty of the past, but had transformed into a handsome and heroic man. Xie Ci's features and demeanor were restrained and solemn. He had completely grown into an adult man and a leading figure.
Pang Huai suddenly felt very relieved. Even if he went to the underworld and saw Xie Yan, he would be able to have a good talk with him.
He raised his hand with difficulty and handed the golden arrow token to Xie Ci.
——This is the golden imperial decree at the beginning.
Pang Huai's voice was very weak, "After I die, the golden order will be lost and there will be no place to find it. Your Majesty, the golden order of the imperial edict will take a while to be issued, and it will also take time to change the style and recast it." When he said this, he revealed a wry smile. In this situation, I'm afraid the old emperor will not even take care of this trivial matter.
Moreover, even if it is recast, the style is basically the same. In case of a critical moment, if you make a feint, there is still a great chance of getting away with it.
This golden order can be used in many places, such as opening the city gates, letting the Beijing troops leave, retreating, and even the outer palace gates.
Pang Huai tried his best to take out the golden order and handed it to Xie Ci. His strength was very weak, so that it could be used as a last resort in case anything happened in the future.
During the years that the emperor was in power, the golden order had been recast several times, but Pang Huai had seen the old models and knew the tricks to identify them. He whispered everything he knew so that Xie Ci could use it if something really happened in the future.
Pang Huai finished speaking very softly. Xie Ci was stunned. He slowly reached out and took the golden token and held it in his palm. The hard and cold touch made Pang Huai's hand lose strength and fall back. Xie Ci raised his eyes and stared at the face of the young man with blood on his body and face. The face was familiar yet a little strange due to the passage of time.
Pang Huai's messy hair was soaked with blood, and the blood coming out of his mouth and nose looked shocking, but when he took off the silence and coldness he had when he was wearing armor, his brown eyes were still clear and bright at this moment.
Xie Ci asked: "Can you tell me why?"
Didn't you already choose to be loyal to the old emperor, regardless of the deaths of Xie Xinzhong and Xie Lang? Why are you turning back? Are you going to give him the Golden Order again?
Pang Huai had been mentally prepared for this question, but when it finally came, he paused. He had always faced life and death with equanimity, but suddenly, the deepest emotions in his heart were touched. His clear, frail eyes finally rippled, clearly witnessing the uncontrollable ups and downs of emotion. He took a deep breath, tears welling in his eyes.
Pang Huai looked at Xie Ci's face, the mountains, rocks and sky, but he was not looking at the mountains, rocks and sky, but what he was looking at through the mountains, rocks and sky. He came back to his senses in an instant, turned his head to look at Xie Ci, his voice was weak and calm, but two lines of tears slid silently from his blood-stained eyelashes.
Pang Huai said: "...the year when the Xie family was in trouble, the teacher slapped the emperor in the face."
Wen Taishi was already over eighty years old, having retired for over a decade. He wasn't one to cling to power; after his retirement, he handed over all his authority and responsibilities to the Emperor. Aside from a few of his closest disciples and old friends, he met no officials from the capital or elsewhere, rarely discussing state affairs. The Emperor never interfered, though. He wasn't one to say he was going to retire but actually didn't. He lived a low-key life.
In addition to his old age and illness, he did not know about Suzhou and the Northland at first.
It took only fourteen days from conviction to execution until the father and son of the Xie family were escorted back to Beijing.
There is no room for anyone to mediate.
Wen Taishi broke into the palace despite being ill, and the emperor asked him to rest in another palace but he did not see him. Pang Huai did not know the specific details of the matter. But he did know that after the execution of the Xie family father and son, the emperor personally went to Wen Taishi's old residence a few years later, but was slapped by Wen Taishi in anger and grief.
It was Pang Huai who was accompanying the emperor at that time: "...At that time, the emperor was furious and almost ordered the teacher to be executed. And, in grief and anger, the teacher almost committed suicide because of the affairs of the Xie family." It was Pang Huai and the eldest son of Master Wen who stopped him. There are still two scars on his palms left by the tight grip on the sword at that time.
"...Afterwards, he told us not to stay with him anymore."
Master Wen was extremely disappointed and heartbroken with the emperor. He was afraid that if Pang Huai and others had close contact with him, they would displease the emperor and bring trouble upon themselves.
From then on, the door of the Grand Tutor's Mansion was closed, and even Pang Huai and others were not seen.
Pang Huai studied under Master Wen and was considered the old emperor's junior apprentice. His widowed mother, younger brother, and clansmen all had to survive and obey his orders from then on. The same went for Long Qian, Gao Minggong, and the others.
That's why I was later ordered to deliver the thank you letter.
Before he went, he actually didn't know that the person he was going to intercept was Xie Ci.
Working silently and passively is the norm for this group of people.
Xie Ci was brought into the palace. He was confused and anxious all the way, but after entering the palace, Xie Ci was no longer something he could touch.
Lu Haide must have noticed that he paused at the back. Later, there were adjustments to the positions of the Jinwu Guards, and Pang Huai added a new deputy. If it were not for this incident, he would probably have transferred his deputy to another place after he became familiar with the affairs of the Imperial Guards, perhaps to the Beijing Camp, or somewhere else.
Qin Ying couldn't believe it: "Then why are you still fighting for him?!"
Master Wen finally came out of seclusion.
Pang Huai also came.
Even, he paid the price of his life for it!
She was angry and sad, her heart was twisted, and tears were streaming down her face in disbelief.
Does the old emperor really have such great charisma? But Pang Huai is the old emperor. He doesn't seem to be so loyal. He has his own ideas.
Before, it was for survival, for family and clan, she understood.
But why are we willing to sacrifice our lives now?
He could have remained silent like before and simply turned sideways to avoid the incident!
No need to come at all.
Pang Huai wanted to wipe her tears, but he couldn't lift his hand. Instead, he smiled, his brows and eyes losing their solemnity, and he looked as gentle and warm as in old years. He said softly, "If Xie Ming were here, he would probably do the same."
Xie Ci's heart trembled. Pang Huai looked up at him. Xie Ci couldn't help but take a quick step and half-crouch. He asked anxiously, "What do you mean by this?"
Pang Huai raised his eyelids with great effort. The sky was blue after the snow, but unfortunately, black smoke and dust were diffused, adding a large area of black and gray smoke and dust that covered most of the sky above his head.
Pang Huai stared at the sky, his gaze seemingly traversing time and space, returning to the past many years ago. "...I've been posted abroad before, serving as the commander of garrisons in places like Hongnong, Huaiyin, and Xudong. I also served as the governor of Xuzhou for a period of time. You should know this, right?"
After the Mi Liang Rebellion, there were not enough local officials for a long time. By chance, Pang Huai also served as the governor of Xuzhou.
"… To the west of Xuzhou, there's a place called Bodinggou County. It's on the southeast coast, a very poor little place."
The land is somewhat salinized and the mountain is poor, so nothing can be produced. It is some distance away from the sea, the land is poor, the fields are poor, and there is a lack of water, so there is nothing to be gained. If you work hard on one acre of land for a year, you can get more than 100 kilograms of millet, which is considered a good harvest.
There are large areas like this further west in Bodinggou.
In fact, it is not unique to the people in Bodinggou. Many ordinary people at the bottom of society are very poor. They can only eat two meals of porridge a day to be half full, without oil or salt. It is already very good if they don’t starve to death.
They had no savings or food reserves, so a bad year or other slight changes would bring them devastating disaster.
But their smiles are so sincere.
That year, Pang Huai went to Bodinggou for an inspection, bringing with him relief supplies. It wasn't much, the limit he could muster, barely enough to get through the lean months. Hardships seemed endless, yet the faces of adults and children instantly lit up with joy. Life was so hard, yet they were oblivious, content and happy. They knelt on the ground, kowtowed to him, and called him "Great Lord of Heaven." A skinny child, with a large head and a small body, couldn't keep steady on his knees and rolled over, giggling as he sucked his snot.
Pang Huai's mother was the daughter of a coal miner. When his father was young, he was on a mission and fell seriously injured on the side of the road. She rescued him. She was reluctant to give up a life and saved him after many hardships. Her father was crushed to death in a mine collapse. Before his death, he had no choice but to grab this young man of unknown origin and entrust his daughter to him. In the end, he married her after three matchmakers and six betrothals.
His mother came from a poor family, and his father had experienced the war and civil unrest caused by the great conflict among the sons of the emperor during the reign of the retired emperor. He talked about it when he was a child and it left a deep impression on him. Pang Huai could also more deeply understand the suffering of the poor.
Pang Huai smiled bitterly, "Feng Kun and Lin Shi probably both have their own private soldiers."
He only realized this last year.
As for Xie Xinzhong and his sons Xie Xian, Xie Jian and Xie Bian.
Pang Huai groped slowly and grabbed Xie Ci's hand. His palm had lost too much blood and was as cold as ice. He tried his best to open his eyes and said in a hoarse but serious voice, "Don't blame your father and brothers. They are not blindly loyal."
Xie Ci's heart was suddenly shaken. He clenched his fists and raised his eyes to stare at Pang Huai.
Pang Huai smiled with tears in his eyes. He nodded weakly and seriously, "Before the incident, the Crown Prince seemed unsatisfactory, but he was indeed much better than the Third and Fourth Princes."
The fourth prince is still just a little kid, and behind him is the wolf-like and ferocious Feng Kun, and the same is true for Lin Guozhang.
The best thing is to protect the crown prince and the old emperor and ensure the smoothest possible transition of power.
The power struggle among the upper class does not affect the people at the bottom, but it will get out of control once it is out of control.
He murmured, "If they move a bit, they'll be dead."
Didn't Xie Xinzhong and his son Xie Xian know that the dynasty was declining? No, they both knew, but they were just trying their best to stop the chariot with a mantis arm.
It was not for the Li family's rule, nor even for the old emperor, but just for the common people under the rolling wheels of this dynasty.
The North is actually very vulnerable.
Just visit Guiyizhou and Zhang Qing’s hometown and you will know.
Xie Xinzhong and his son did not mean to show off. They understood everything they needed to understand. However, there were many times, such as the barbarians in Guzang Mountain back then, when they could not survive without someone to help them. Xie Xinzhong could not bear to see the descendants of the surrendered people who were originally hardworking and persevering turned into a potential threat to the border, let alone report and have them all killed.
And they don’t know the hardship yet. They only get a little bit, but they show their weathered and pale smiling faces, which makes people feel extremely sad.
There are many situations like this one in Guzang Mountain. It's not just the Hu people, the Han people as well are everywhere. The northern area adjacent to the border is often invaded, and the people have a much harder time than in the Central Plains. It's only in the past ten to twenty years, thanks to the efforts of the Xie family father and son, that things have gotten better.
"When your second brother first went to the north, he often wrote to me..." The two were childhood friends and like-minded brothers. In this world, Pang Huai might be the one who knows Xie Yan best.
"Every word he said from the beginning hit home." Indignation, worry, pity, the young man's emotions were intense and direct. Pang Huai looked at Xie Ci and couldn't help but smile, "You actually look a lot like your second brother, you know?"
It was as if an invisible hand reached into Xie Ci's heart, and a low, hoarse word grabbed his heart and twisted it tightly.
This was a Xie Yan that even Qin Ying had never known. Xie Yan gradually grew from a boy into a young man. His adolescence was brief. "After a year, his letters gradually became less indignant."
I write about events, but gradually, my writing becomes more straightforward. It’s not that I lack emotion, but rather that I skim the surface, having seen too much, and as time passes, I begin to glimpse deeper emotions. Even in this straightforward, understated narrative, I only grasp the tip of the iceberg.
Pang Huai understood.
Because they are the same people.
The two were childhood friends, and he knew his mood from just one look and one word.
Trying to stop a chariot with a mantis arm, moving forward with all one's might.
Xie Xinzhong was not unaware of the risks, but he really had no choice but to do it. He tried his best to restrain himself and protect himself and his family. The only thing he did not expect was that the old emperor would be so narrow-minded.
When the Lantian treason case first broke out, they were in the north, at the heart of the Xie clan's main base. They had the opportunity to rise up in anger, but if they did, the north would be in turmoil. How could the eager Northern Rong move south? The Wei Dynasty, still possessing many loyal ministers and capable generals, had a high probability of not being defeated if it mobilized its entire nation.
In the end, the only ones who suffered were the soldiers of the Northern Army and the common people in the North.
Xie Xinzhong and his son understood everything.
They surrendered without a fight.
The same went for Master Wen and Pang Huai. Amidst the storm, they ultimately chose to uphold the imperial power and strived to maintain a smooth transition of power.
"We just don't want to be torn apart."
He murmured.
The north wind was howling. Although Xie Ci had already moved to a sheltered hollow in the hills, he had not felt cold until now. His boiling and indignant blood slowly subsided, as if he had been infected by the severe chill of winter. The cold wind was biting, and Xie Ci felt a chill throughout his body, from his veins to his flesh and blood, penetrating his skin and pores. He felt cold all over.
He slowly knelt on one knee in the snow.
Pang Huai was a little absent-minded. In fact, their idea was very simple. They just wanted to do their best to slow down the decline of the dynasty and give more opportunities to the truly poor and helpless people like Bodinggou.
A drop of water trembles slightly, and the ants are drowned.
Pang Huai sighed softly, "Life is difficult, and everyone has their own sufferings." He said with some emotion, "Even Feng Kun was a pitiful man."
Feng Kun's father, Feng Liangyu, was a good official. The Feng family was not prominent but they sympathized with the poor and the weak, and had a very good reputation in the county. Most of the members were kind and good people. Unfortunately, because his senior brother Xu Xiang, the governor of Taiyuan Prefecture, was involved in the Li Chun case, a member of the Feng family could not withstand the torture and falsely accused his father. The emperor was furious and sentenced them all to death. Feng Liangyu was cut into pieces and died, and the young Feng Kun was confined to the palace and castrated. Most of his family members died.
Feng Kun used all means to climb up when faced with a major change, usurping power and doing many bad things. Pang Huai hated him, but when he looked into it, he couldn't really blame him.
Just like a thank you note.
Feng Kun wanted to turn things around, control his destiny, and seek revenge, while Xie Ci just wanted to survive.
Pang Huai's vision gradually became blurred. The reflection of sunlight and snow made his vision a golden halo. Xie Ci's figure and face became dark. He tried his best to open his eyes wide, but he couldn't see Xie Ci's face clearly. He only knew that the latter was holding his hands tightly and choking a little.
Pang Huai couldn't lift his left hand, but he tried his best to lift it, slowly groped over, and held Xie Ci's other hand. After saying so much, these were the last words he really wanted to say to Xie Ci: "You, don't care so much!"
He whispered weakly, "Since you've chosen this path, keep walking it. You're right. It's great that you can come back alive!"
Xie Ci held Pang Huai's cold hand in his backhand, but Pang Huai said to him seriously: "Don't worry too much about me, your father, and your brother. What we do may not be right."
Pang Huai tried his best to keep his voice steady: "...The situation is so volatile, who knows what will happen in the future? Just follow your thoughts and intuition."
Don't be limited by them.
Pang Huai spoke intermittently and repeatedly, fearing that what he said today would hinder Xie Ci.
Until Xie Ci raised his head, closed his eyes, and said in a hoarse voice: "I know, I know everything!"
He then smiled with relief.
He felt that his smile was very big, but in fact it was just a very light arc. He breathed a sigh of relief. From now on, he was relaxed and no longer had to worry.
Pang Huai's brows relaxed. "When I meet Xie Gong and your second brother, I will tell them that you look very good."
He carefully looked at Xie Ci's outline and smiled, but Pang Huai's voice was so soft that it was almost inaudible.
He said something again, but his words were incoherent.
Pang Huai tried his best to turn his head and look at Qin Ying. He moved his lips a few times,... Don't be sad, don't be upset, be fine.
We are destined to be together but not to be together.
His sweetheart.
He met Qin Ying first, so even after she got married, he still fantasized about them being in love in his dreams at midnight.
But after Xie Yan passed away, he gave up this idea. If possible, he only hoped to take care of and protect her for the rest of her life.
Brother's wife, now that Xie Yan is dead, he will never cross the line.
But I didn't expect that he would die too.
He is not afraid of death.
I just hope she doesn't cry too long and isn't too sad.
Goodbye, Yingniang.
Pang Huai's face had turned pale blue. He smiled, moved his lips, slowly closed his eyelids, and his arms drooped weakly.
The wind howled, and there was no sound.
Qin Ying burst into tears.
…
Pang Huai was dead, lying quietly on the white snow.
But they didn't even dare to take the body. While his blood was still fresh, they carried him to the other side and found a place where there were several corpses. He placed him in a bloody place not far away and put him in a dead position.
There was chaos in the four slag hills. During the methane belching, Pang Li and Pang Huai's deputy general Qiu Shixi noticed something was wrong and promptly led thousands of soldiers away from the charcoal factory. Just when they were three or four hundred feet away, the explosion happened behind them.
Fortunately, the distance was over a thousand meters, and there were many casualties, but no soldiers were killed or buried by collapsed rocks.
Amidst the chaos, Pang Huai's body was soon found and his younger brother Pang Li carried the coffin back to Zhongdu to be with his mother.
Xie Ci and his party didn't even dare to show too much emotion. Xie Ci ordered Xie Feng and Zhang Qing, who were supporting outside, to take Qin Ying, Xie Feng and other wounded people back first, for fear that the people on the old emperor's side would notice something, which would bring a bad influence to Pang Huai's family.
Pang Li held the cart, looked back, said goodbye to them at the distant snow hills, and stood silently watching them go.
He didn't dare to look any longer, pretending to look back casually, then quickly turned his head away. His vision was blurred, and he wiped his eyes hard.
Pang Li supported the cart, walking farther and farther away, until he gradually disappeared from view.
After a long moment, Xie Ci withdrew his gaze and said in a hoarse voice, "Let's go too."
…
The wooden box and deerskin bag were finally obtained by Yin Luo, who had already left Sigang Mountain.
Xie Ci met Qin Guan, Chen Luo and He Yuan brothers. The latter were also stunned. In just a few hours, the Four Slag Mountains had been razed to the ground.
Xie Ci was in a bad mood. There were plenty of people who could collect witnesses, so he didn't stay any longer. He immediately met up with Qin Guan and the vanguard cavalry, turned back to meet the main force, and returned directly to Beijing.
The trip to Sigangshan had come to an end, but the huge waves in Xie Ci's heart had not subsided for a long time.
He was silent all the way, looking dazed and thoughtful.
Gu Wan sighed softly.
They camped along the post road until sunset. After Gu Guan dealt with the matter of Xie Jiawei's secret report, she came back and found that Xie Ci was not in the camp. She walked along the snow to the river.
The river was frozen, old trees were crooked, and there were brown trees and black stones. He was sitting alone, hugging his knees, quietly on a big rock by the river.
Xie Ci raised his eyes and stared at the vast snowfield. The dead grass and black trees cast long shadows in the setting sun, and sank into the darkness like fangs and claws.
He endured it until Gu Guan sat down beside him behind the crowd.
His emotions suddenly surged, his eyes became hot, and tears welled up in an instant, which he covered with his hands.
——"Don't blame them, they are not blindly loyal."
Pang Huai’s words today hit Xie Ci’s heart hard!
Yes, he never told anyone, but in fact, he did feel a little bit of resentment towards his father in his heart.
When the family lost their father and brother, they were in great sorrow and were at a loss in the midst of misery.
Your Majesty asked me to switch sides with the Third Prince. Isn't that also following the emperor's orders? Many royalists have done this before. Wouldn't switching sides with the Third Prince still be a way of being loyal to the emperor?
Only when you are alive and have a life can you continue to do what you want to do, right?
It wasn't until today that he knew, it wasn't until today that he knew!
The one to whom Xie Xinzhong and his son are loyal is not actually you!
Xie Ci was choked with sobs for a moment, and he murmured, "Is this the great loyalty and righteousness you mentioned?"
As soon as he said this, tears burst out. He clenched his teeth tightly, trying his best to hold back the tears and the trembling in his body.
Xie Ci put himself in their shoes and found it hard to imagine what kind of mood his father and brother were in while waiting to be captured.
He was then escorted to the capital.
Convicted and executed.
The ground was stained with blood and left with a cursed reputation.
The decision was made in an instant and there was no regret. On one side were his wife and children, still in prison, facing an uncertain fate; on the other side were the millions of vulnerable and lonely people in the north.
Gu Guan stood up, stood under the big rock, hugged Xie Ci, and pressed his head against his collarbone and shoulders.
She looked up at the sky and couldn't help but let out a long sigh.
The sky is vast, the night is endless, the snowfield is vast, the north wind is howling, the sky and the earth are vast, strange and familiar.
In fact, today, she was also greatly shocked.
Xie Ci didn't know, but she always felt that Xie Xinzhong and his son were foolishly loyal.
She admired them, but also lamented that they were limited by Confucian values and the idea of loyalty to the emperor.
But today I suddenly discovered that they are not.
It is actually yourself who is superficial.
She couldn't help but think that the loyal generals in all dynasties might not have been blindly loyal and waiting to die. They might have considered more things.
Gu Wan took a deep breath, suppressed her emotions, and nodded vigorously: "Yes, theirs is."
They have no shame in looking up to heaven and looking down to earth. Whether it is Xie Xinzhong and his son, or Pang Huai, they are all men of iron will!
The author has something to say:
Previously, I had actually always misunderstood Xie's father and brothers. They were not blindly loyal, they just knew too much and thought more.
Huh, starting from Lu Xinyi, Xie Ci has actually been walking in the darkness all the time. The loud bang of the sledgehammer is shocking. He should break free from it and make his own way.
Give you a super big kiss! Ah Xiu will come to catch bugs later, (づ￣3￣)づ╭
See you tomorrow! Babies~ (/≧▽≦)/
Finally, I also want to thank the baby who voted for the thunder, pen refills, pen refills!
An unknown squirrel spirit threw a mine
An unknown squirrel spirit threw a mine
.
And all the big babies who watered Wenwen, kiss~
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