Wang Bufan's life was divided into three stages.
Before the age of eight, he was a well-known child prodigy, a genius.
After the age of eight, he became just another ordinary person.
From the moment he failed to get first place in his first final exam, cracks began to appear in his prodigy aura.
When Mr. and Mrs. Wang boast about their smart son, the neighbors and colleagues would simply reply, "I heard that your son Wang Bufan didn't even get first place."
This would make Wang Bufan's parents feel utterly humiliated, and they would turn around and scold or beat their "good-for-nothing" son.
In fact, there are dozens of children in each class, and there can only be one first place. Wang Bufan's grades are not bad. Even if he doesn't catch up in Chinese for a while, he can always get full marks in math.
But his parents didn't care about his math skills. They were thinking, "Other three-year-olds can't even read yet, but you could already do math problems with a calculator at three. Why have you regressed after five years? How come you can't even beat ordinary kids?"
Mr. Wang is a believer in the saying "spare the rod and spoil the child," while Mrs. Wang frequents the market and is adept at arguing and making a scene. When faced with their child's "unsatisfactory" grades, these parents' only method is to beat him.
If you don't get first place, you'll be beaten.
He refused to perform mental arithmetic for his relatives, so he was beaten.
He refused to participate in the speech contest, so he was beaten.
For a long time, Wang Bufan often went to class despite his injuries. His parents at least remembered which parts of his body he couldn't hit, and their way of punishing him was mostly to pull down his pants and spank his buttocks. It hurt, but it wouldn't hurt him badly.
Wang Bufan's buttocks were so swollen that he couldn't even sit on a stool.
His primary school Chinese teacher was a very young newcomer who was mentoring them in his first year on the job and was full of enthusiasm.
After discovering the violence that had befallen Wang Bufan, the teacher became enraged and took Wang Bufan directly to the Wang family's fish stall, accusing Wang Bufan's parents of treating him badly and calling it abuse.
Her intentions were good, and she genuinely wanted to help Wang Bufan, but she chose the wrong method.
Mr. and Mrs. Wang are both extremely concerned about their image and shameless. This is not contradictory. They are vain, but at times they will also tear off their mask and expose their ignorance and shallowness.
In front of a group of colleagues and guests, Mr. Wang felt extremely embarrassed and ashamed to be pointed at and scolded by a young girl who had just graduated from school.
His dark, rough face turned a deep red, and he was breathing heavily through his nostrils when he shoved the young female teacher, causing her to stumble.
"It's none of your business how I discipline my own child," Mr. Wang cursed, spewing profanities.
To prove his point and to vent his anger, he grabbed Wang Bufan and, in front of a crowd of onlookers, pulled down his pants and slapped him.
Wang Bufan never dared to cry loudly. He was almost ten years old, had become sensible, had awakened his self-esteem, and understood shame.
But in front of everyone, his own father pulled down his pants and beat him. The pain on his buttocks was nothing compared to the distress in his heart. He felt nauseous and made unbearable gagging sounds.
Mr. Wang misunderstood: "You still look down on me? I'm just a fishmonger. If you're not ambitious, you'll only be able to continue selling fish with me in the future."
His eyes were bloodshot. He scooped a live fish out of the pond and shoved it into Wang Bufan's mouth: "I'll teach you to complain! You don't say a word at home, but you're saving it all for complaining about your father outside. I'll show you what's what!"
The freshly caught fish was very energetic. Although the fishmonger, Wang's father, held its body in his hand, its tail was still full of vitality, bouncing back and forth and slapping Wang Bufan's face, making a crisp slapping sound.
“From then on, I hated eating fish, especially the tail.” Wang Bufan smiled slightly, but his eyes seemed to be glistening with tears.
He was surrounded by ghostly energy, and even his fair and handsome face was covered with a layer of black mist, but Ruan Bei was not afraid at all this time.
Ruan Bei took deep breaths, feeling a little short of breath. He knew that what could drive Wang Bufan to suicide must have been extraordinary pain, but he never expected it to be such an unbearable experience.
Just by listening, he could imagine how sad and desperate the child must have been, but after that, Wang Bufan endured it for nearly ten years.
"Later, my teacher called the police, and the police came."
Wang Bufan said, "When I was a child, I thought I would become a policeman when I grew up because policemen are all-powerful. But when they couldn't stop my dad, I stopped thinking about that wish."
When the police arrived, Mr. Wang stubbornly insisted, "This is my son. I'm disciplining him because his grades are bad. Is that wrong?"
In this country, it's not wrong for parents to hit their children.
People will only condemn and scorn them if they beat a child to death or maim them.
Wang's father neither beat Wang Bufan to death nor cripple him; in fact, he only spanked him on the buttocks, which was "very measured" compared to other parents.
As for those humiliating and abusive acts, what do they amount to? Children don't have any sense of shame or concern for others.
The police could only offer advice, but as soon as they left, Wang's father threw out a basin of fish-bloody water that smelled strongly of fish, and then yelled at the teacher who had brought Wang Bufan there, sending him away.
The young female teacher left in tears, her pretty floral dress stained with fish blood and scales. From then on, she never cared about Wang Bufan again.
Wang Bufan began to dislike studying. He couldn't concentrate on reading, even though he knew every word in the books.
Especially math, which he used to love, would make him feel dizzy and nauseous when he was writing out equations, because he would smell a fishy odor.
He felt he might be sick, that his brain had broken down.
But he didn't feel sad; in fact, he was secretly pleased. He was no longer a child prodigy or a genius. What he envied most was the neighbor's child, who always failed his exams. His mother would be so happy to kill a chicken and cook fish for him if he got an 80 on a test.
Wang Bufan had always envied the kid next door. He thought the kid's parents were so wonderful. He even mustered up the courage to greet the kid and wanted to be his friend.
The boy was very outgoing and had a lot of friends, except for Wang Bufan. To please him, Wang Bufan did his homework and carried his schoolbag for him, which is how he gained his first friend.
However, this friendship did not last long. After Wang's parents found out, Wang's mother stood at her front door and shouted, "Don't play with those shady kids all day long! As the old saying goes, you learn good things from good people and bad things from bad people. If you dare to fail my test and still want to roast chicken, I'll roast you!"
The neighbors across the hall slammed their door shut with a deafening roar, and from then on, that family would never greet Wang Bufan with a smile again.
That was the only person Wang Bufan could call a friend in his memory; after that, he never took the initiative to associate with anyone else.
He was dull and boring, couldn't play ball, was bad at sports, and even his grades were getting worse and worse. Teachers didn't pay attention to him, and his classmates didn't like him.
He goes to school alone every day and comes home alone. No one talks to him. His parents only scold and order him around, without needing his reply. He has almost forgotten how to even speak.
His grades dropped, and his parents kept blaming and beating him. Wang Bufan stammered an explanation, which only led to more intense beatings and scoldings.
His parents were unwilling to explore their child's psychological changes. They believed that everything Wang Bufan said was an excuse, and that he simply didn't want to study and was deliberately causing trouble.
After being beaten so many times, I became numb to it.
At that time, Wang Bufan felt that the day he was stripped of his pants in front of everyone at the fish stall was the most humiliating and embarrassing day of his life. So when he was beaten later, he didn't feel the same pain or discomfort as that day.
So no matter how much his parents beat or scolded him, his grades couldn't catch up, and they even got worse.
Later, they began to feel annoyed, thinking that the child was useless, would never amount to anything, and had no hope.
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When Wang Bufan was in the second year of junior high school, his parents had another son. The younger son was innocent, lively, and clever. He could call out "Dad" and "Mom" before he was even a year old, which was much better than his clumsy older son.
With his mind focused on his youngest son, Wang Bufan felt a significant reduction in pressure. Although he was often asked to make formula and wash diapers for his younger brother, he could still feel a faint sense of joy.
Perhaps because the psychological pressure was reduced, Wang Bufan's mental illness improved a little. He made a concerted effort in his final year of junior high school and barely made it into Jincheng No.1 Middle School.
Jincheng No.1 High School is a well-established provincial key high school with a high reputation. Wang Bufan's admission has brought honor to his parents.
So they shifted their attention from their youngest son to their eldest son, whom they hadn't paid much attention to in a while. Mr. Wang used the same old tactics, saying, "You better do well on the class placement test when school starts. If you embarrass me, I'll teach you a lesson."
It would have been better if we hadn't talked about it, because once we did, Wang Bufan was ruined again.
“I got the lowest score in the whole grade.” Wang Bufan could still laugh, and even calmly analyzed, “At that time, I probably subconsciously didn’t want to do well on the exam. It’s okay if he hit me, I don’t want him to lose face because of me.”
Ruan Bei remained silent, as if a large stone was stuck in his throat. He didn't know what to say, and had nothing to say.
He has two sets of parents. His adoptive parents are especially good people and excellent parents. They teach their children with great care, hoping that they will be kind, upright, and optimistic.
Ruan Bei believed that he and his sister had been successfully educated, but it was precisely because their adoptive parents were so good that in his previous life, when they were taken back to the Lu family, they were treated coldly, unfairly, and misunderstood by their biological parents. They found it unbearable and subconsciously built a high wall in their hearts to reject them.
But Lu Minghai and Feng Zhihui at least wore the skin of so-called upper class. Their attacks on Ruan Bei were more psychological. Lu Minghai would punish him by locking him in a dark room, not allowing him to eat, and deducting his allowance. Feng Zhihui would despise his "unrefined" upbringing, but neither of them laid a hand on Ruan Bei.
Ruan Bei's values were already fully formed. Their actions might make him uncomfortable, but they couldn't destroy him.
What truly broke Ruan Bei in his past life was the death of one of his adoptive parents and the injury of the other.
He was burdened with the Lu family's debts and had to endure their suspicion and suppression.
Worried about his missing childhood friend, his mother lay in a hospital bed, not knowing when she would wake up. With no hope in sight, he was so exhausted that he wanted to fall asleep and never wake up again.
But Wang Bufan's misfortune was of a different kind.
His parents were vulgar and unscrupulous, inflicting violence on young children without hesitation, both physically and mentally. Instead of being protectors, they became the murderers who tormented Wang Bufan.
“Of course, I got beaten up again when I got back, but it’s no big deal, I’m used to it,” Wang Bufan said.
Moreover, as he grew older, he seemed to be able to tolerate pain better than when he was a child.
He was at the bottom of his class for a year in his first year of high school. In his second year, when they were divided into different classes, Wang Bufan hesitated for a long time, wavering between science and humanities.
He wanted to study humanities, but deep down he felt a little unwilling. However, he didn't want to study science either, as if choosing science would be a compromise with his abusive father.
His hesitation was actually unnecessary; Wang's father didn't give him a choice at all.
He heard people say that only children who are bad at science choose humanities, and that being bad at science is because they are stupid.
Even if his son wasn't a genius, he couldn't let him study humanities; he made the decision directly to let him study science.
"This is probably the only thing I'm grateful for—for his choice that allowed me to meet Teacher Li." Wang Bufan's eyes unconsciously lit up with a smile when he mentioned Teacher Li.
Professor Li was once a mathematician, but this profession is not like that of doctors or lawyers, where one becomes more sought after with age. Many outstanding achievements are made by mathematicians when they are in their prime.
As people age, their thinking slows down, inevitably affecting their research.
When she found that her research progress had stagnated for a long time, Ms. Li declined the research institution's offer to stay and chose to return to her hometown to become a high school teacher.
Due to the times, he was already quite old when he began his mathematical research, which was a regret for him. He wanted to cultivate a few talented children to inject some fresh blood into the field of mathematics.
Wang Bufan was a hidden gem he discovered. Even though he had been out of the public eye for many years, his outstanding talent in mathematics still allowed Teacher Li to discover this genius who had almost been stifled.
Teacher Li was overjoyed, but as a mature adult who had experienced many things, Wang Bufan's state was clearly not quite right.
He didn't rush to find him, nor did he force Wang Bufan to study math. He slowly observed him and got closer to him, but he didn't press him to ask what had happened.
He would occasionally give Wang Bufan some interesting math problems to solve, often encourage him, and ask him to do small favors. After he finished, he would give him some reward as a way of thanking him. It wasn't anything valuable, maybe just an apple, a bag of candy, or a bottle of milk.
As they gradually became familiar with each other, and Wang Bufan finally became willing to communicate with him, Teacher Li would often chat with him, talking about his past experiences, some blunders in his research, his old partners who were still engaged in mathematical research, and so on.
He also told Wang Bufan about interesting things in his life. He said that the fruit vendor in front of his house shouted, "Oranges are two yuan for three jin, three yuan for four jin, and four yuan for five jin." Everyone bought the four-yuan five-jin ones, and he followed suit. But when he looked back, he realized something was wrong. He had wasted his time studying math and was too embarrassed to call himself a mathematician.
Wang Bufan listened intently, then suddenly realized he was amused.
Wang Bufan had never met anyone like this before. He was like a father, a teacher, and a friend all at once. He grew to enjoy spending time with Teacher Li more and more. He no longer resisted the math problems that Teacher Li gave him, and he just wanted to solve them as soon as possible so that he could hear Teacher Li's praise.
"Later, my teacher told me, 'You're amazing. Learning is actually a very private thing. It's a means for you to acquire knowledge. If you're going to learn, it should only be because you want to learn, and it should bring you joy and make you feel fulfilled, not because you're learning for any particular person.'"
Wang Bufan remembered Teacher Li's words clearly, making full use of his excellent memory in this regard.
"Actually, I didn't understand what the teacher was saying at first, but I knew that he wanted me to study hard, so I tried my best. Then I found that it wasn't difficult for me to learn well."
Ruan Bei: "..." Although, senior, what you said is really infuriating.
"However, under Teacher Li's guidance, I have gradually come to enjoy learning, especially math. It's like the fun of constantly calculating in my mind when I was a child has come back."
“I had a really happy two years. No matter what happened at home, I could see Mr. Li every day at school. Every time I got a new math problem from him, I couldn’t wait to start writing and solve it.”
"I have never enjoyed going to school so much, nor have I ever been so determined to have a dream. I want to become a mathematician, to become someone like Teacher Li."
But his dream was shattered once again by his so-called biological parents.
His parents didn't care about him during the college entrance examination; it was Teacher Li who took him to the exam.
He had already learned his lesson; he would always get very low scores on tests that required him to bring home his grades. If people didn't have any hope for him, they wouldn't pay any attention to him.
But he had a dream to realize: he wanted to study mathematics at the best university. So he gave it his all in the college entrance examination and became the top scorer.
"I want to study math, but they want me to apply for finance."
Wang Bufan's voice was extremely cold, and Ruan Bei broke out in a cold sweat. He remembered what Qin Gu had said: Wang Bufan committed suicide by jumping off a building after filling out his college application. Could this be the source of the contradiction?
They've tried hitting him and scolding him, but Wang Bufan stubbornly refuses to budge.
At that time, he was extremely grateful that the school opened a computer lab for them to use, and students who were undecided could bring their parents to the school to discuss with the teachers and fill out their college applications at the school.
Otherwise, he wouldn't even be able to touch the computer at home, let alone fill out college applications.
He endured his injury to go to school. In the sweltering summer heat, sweat poured down his wound, feeling like fine needles scraping against it, making him gasp in pain.
Since he was no longer a genius, his grades have gotten worse and worse, and he has gotten older, his parents no longer limit their beatings to his buttocks. Sometimes, when they get really angry, they slap him directly on the head.
Anyway, this is no longer the precious brain of a genius, nor the soft bones of a child who can be easily beaten up.
But to his utter surprise, his parents, who had never been to his school before, actually went to the school.
When he arrived, the two had already caused a huge scene in the computer lab, with so many teachers, students, and parents present, some of whom weren't even his classmates.
Their goal was clear: they were looking for Teacher Li.
Their thinking is very simple; they're single-mindedly focused on getting into math school. Who else could have taught them that? Of course, it was the math teacher.
"You heartless old bastard! My child is the top scorer in the college entrance exam, and you're trying to trick him into learning some bullshit math? What can he do after that? Become a poor schoolteacher like you?"
When he saw them pointing at Teacher Li and cursing him, Wang Bufan was completely stunned.
The next moment, he rushed forward like a madman, desperately pushing the two men away.
Despite hearing so many insults, he still couldn't swear back. All he could manage was a hoarse roar from his throat: "Get out! Get out of here!"
"Get the hell out of here, you little brat! You've got some nerve!"
The fact that his son, whom he had always beaten and scolded at will, dared to resist was simply unbelievable to Wang's father. He was stunned for a moment before he reacted, and then he flew into a rage, slapping his large, fan-like hand toward Wang Bufan's face.
His hands, used to catching big fish, held all his strength. With two angry slaps, Wang Bufan's cheeks swelled up high.
"Don't hit! Don't hit the child!" Teacher Li rushed forward to stop him, but was pushed by him and stumbled, crashing into the computer and knocking over several monitors.
The teachers and parents present tried to stop and protect Mr. Wang, and managed to hold him back.
After calming down a bit, they saw the row of monitors that had fallen over, and two of the screens were broken. Only then did the Wang couple realize that they were afraid the school would ask them for compensation. They shouted and scolded loudly as they led Wang Bufan away.
Teacher Li bumped his back and tried to stop others from helping him up, but the Wang couple acted like scoundrels, insisting that the school wanted to detain their son.
What did my teacher do wrong?
Wang Bufan covered his face and choked up, saying, "He devoted the first half of his life to mathematical research, and the second half to his students. He did nothing wrong, yet he was insulted by two scoundrels."
The only mistake he made was taking me as a student.
He didn't cry when he talked about his painful past, but he was inconsolable when he spoke of the injustices suffered by Teacher Li.
After a long silence, Wang Bufan couldn't continue speaking, and Ruan Bei was also speechless, unable to even offer any words of comfort.
After a long while, Wang Bufan looked at Ruan Bei and sniffled, "Xiao Bei, are you crying for me?"
Ruan Bei was startled and subconsciously reached out to touch his face. He touched his hand and found it wet, realizing that he was actually crying.
He curled his fingers and said weakly, "They shouldn't have treated you like that. They were wrong."
Why don't parents need to take exams? Why are there such irresponsible parents? He couldn't understand it.
"Teacher Li told me the same thing." Wang Bufan looked towards the playground. get out of class was over, and the playground was filled with many laughing students. They were so vibrant, yet so far away from him.
“After I was taken back that day, I had a big argument with them. Actually, I don’t know how to argue at all. I just cursed at them, and I cursed back at them for everything they cursed at me.”
"They got angry and hit me, but I cursed back and fought back. It felt great!"
In reality, he was no match for them. He was naturally thin and weak, while his parents were not yet truly old. Together, they beat him until his face was covered in blood and his body was injured.
"When the last man told me to get lost, I was so happy. I laughed and said, 'Okay, I'll get lost, and I'll never come back.'"
"Then they went back on their word and said I had spent a certain amount of money and they wanted me to give them a million. Where would I get a million? But I really didn't want to stay there, so I said I would go to work and whatever I did, I would definitely give them the money back, but after that, I would sever all ties with them. They would no longer be my parents, and I would no longer be their child."
“As I walked out, the woman rushed up to me and stopped me, cursing me for being unfilial and disowning my parents. I ignored her and insisted on leaving. She said that the clothes I was wearing were bought by them.”
Wang Bufan pursed his lips and sneered, "They stripped me of my clothes, thinking that I wouldn't leave like that, but I still left."
"What face do they have? They've never given me any face. They raised the child like a dog, so why should I expect him to grow up to be a human being?"
"But when I went outside, I realized that even dogs are considered ugly when they're bald. I huddled in the stairwell, afraid to go out and not wanting to go back."
“My neighbor’s house, the one where that woman scolded me when I was a child, the aunt from that house secretly came out and gave me a set of her son’s clothes.”
Wang Bufan tugged at his t-shirt. Ruan Bei had always thought it was a loose fit, but now she realized that it might just be an ill-fitting shirt.
“I have nowhere to go, and I dare not go to Teacher Li. Those two will cling to him like bloodsuckers. I have no face to see Teacher Li, and I cannot continue to harm him.”
"As I walked, I arrived at the school. The first and second year high school students were still in class. I sneaked in after they finished their evening self-study."
“I originally just wanted to stay at the school for one night, but it was so dark, I was very hungry, my injuries hurt, and I still had to pay back a million. I didn’t know how to earn money, and I didn’t know how long it would take to pay off the million.”
What saddened him most was that he felt Teacher Li might dislike him and never talk to him again, just like the teacher he had when he was a child.
Wang Bufan's voice grew softer and softer, almost ethereal: "I climbed up to the senior dormitory building, which is higher than the teaching building. I stood on the seventh floor, looking out the window."
"Just jump. They gave me this life. If I jump, I'll owe them nothing anymore."
That summer, Wang Bufan took a leap, and the genius perished.
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