I am really ashamed that I have delayed writing this month's reward speech until today.
How should I put it?
This autumn is indeed a turbulent autumn.
My words are insignificant, but I am just a duckweed floating in the turbulent sea.
Looking back on my journey, it has never been smooth sailing, but rather a life full of misfortunes.
I am indeed a very simple person.
I have three goals in writing books.
One, to support my family.
Two, to be true to my hobbies.
Three, to leave my name in history.
I really never dare to call myself a talented person.
After all, there are not many people who have been writing for fifteen years and have achieved nothing.
In this industry, those who have written books at my age have either already won contracts with big writers or have long recognized themselves and changed their careers.
It is difficult to describe the feeling of not being popular for fifteen years.
Life is only a few decades long, and I don’t know how many fifteen years I can waste here.
Whenever it’s late at night, I always wonder if I will regret my choice when I get old and can no longer press the keyboard and write a beautiful story.
I always tell people that I am very peaceful and don’t envy those famous writers.
But I rarely tell others that my so-called peace is not born this way, but I have been kneeling in the mud and struggling helplessly again and again, and finally I have slowly learned to face reality.
My reality is very simple.
I am too weak, too rotten, and too rubbish.
I am using talents that I don’t have to force myself into an industry that doesn’t match my talents.
After all, readers have sharp eyes. If I can really write a good book, why should I wait for fifteen years?
I claim to be smart, but in fact I am stupid and ridiculous.
A truly smart person should have changed to a more suitable path long ago.
I don’t know whether I am afraid of change or I am unwilling to accept it.
The ups and downs of these days have been seen by the author and the readers.
In fact, I understand the demands and positions of many people, as well as the rights that everyone wants to fight for.
I thought about saying something.
But I suddenly woke up and realized that I don’t deserve it.
Others worry that they won’t get a higher reward after the book becomes popular.
If it were fifteen years ago, I would have had exactly the same worries and the same anger, because I was young and passionate at that time.
But when I look back, I realize that in the past fifteen years, I haven’t been able to write a book that is even worthy of being coveted by others.
Not one year, not two years, but fifteen years.
There are only a few fifteen years in a person's life.
Fifteen years have passed, and I still haven't been able to write a book that's worth fighting for.
So I thought, what am I fighting for?
What is the right person to fight for if he hasn't been able to write a popular book in fifteen years?
It's hard enough to just survive.
The current trend of "The Savior" is the best I've ever had since I started working in this industry.
I told myself that no matter how fierce the storms outside are, they are not my life after all.
What I should care about and always pay attention to is to be worthy of my own books and the readers who have always supported me.
So I'm trying very hard to keep my mind empty.
I don't think about anything, I only have one very simple idea.
Write my own book well.
If I mess up the book, how will the outside world develop in the future? What can I expect?
Who will help me support my family?
Help me pay off my debts?
Am I worthy of myself and the readers who have been following this book until now?
In addition, I don’t know what you think of the quality of the recent chapters of "Savior".
From my personal point of view, I am not satisfied. I am never satisfied with myself.
Of course, it will become more and more difficult to write this book later. The difficulty of creation is increasing exponentially.
It must be logical, the scenes are constantly magnified, and I have to start with details. The characters must be vivid, the plot must be interesting and fascinating, and the so-called truths I talk about must be interesting and thought-provoking for readers.
The core of the creation of this book is actually very crazy.
This is the biggest difficulty I am facing now.
I must and can only concentrate on this matter with all my strength.
Otherwise, I will let everyone down.
In middle age, my edges have been smoothed, but I still remember what my original intention was to write stories.
I am still arrogant. I
still want to be a writer who can write works that are memorable, rather than being described as a coder.
A hundred years later, there are still people who read my books and are excited, moved to tears, and laugh because of my books.
I am still greedy.
I also want to be rich, as rich as JK Rowling.
At the same time, I have always believed that a writer's wealth can be equal to his talent.
I dare not guarantee that this book can do it.
Thanks to all readers who subscribed, rewarded, and voted for me during April 2020.
Below is the list of rewards for April, with the amounts in brackets.
Thank you everyone, you are so strong!
Cynical Egg, ios (2450)
Second-hand Handsome Man (1100)
Deep Sea No. 2 (1000) World
-destroying Frog (375)
Winning History of Music (218)
Breeze V (200)
20170825 Ai Yu (120)
☆ Night Wind ☆ (100)
ps Maniac (100)
spicychi (100)
Book Friends 20180429025055152 (100)
Wood Core (100)
Ye Yan'an (100)
Saint General Momo (100)
Dragon's Heart is Broken (100)
My Name is Killer God Bai Qi (100)
Grab your lollipop, ios (100 )
Flow 133 ( 100 )
Zheng Xunyi ( 100 )
Reader 1565399552192387 ( 100 )
Lonely Yimi ( 100 )
Horse racing in Xiguan ( 100 )
Drowning without results ( 100 ) Dududu
( 100 )
Dianjun, ios ( 100 )
Su Su Su Su ( )
Suspect Cheng Mou ( ) Domineering
and crazy Long Aotian, ios ( )
Super Ghost Wusheng ( )
Jiuyou Bixue ( )
Don't say I Yueban ( )
Book Friends 20191211210244218, ios ( )
Everything Danpi ( )
Mofang ( )
n1chosssss, ios ( )
Tianyi Hall ( )
Mr. Yang 2020 ( )
Miyou Travel Water Brother ( )
Wish not to say ( )
Haidian Lao Xue ( 23.33 )
ste__， ios ()
renyiyu666， ios ()
tsnkscrj ()
why is this way()
Thousand Years of Madness()
Dart x ()
Not like a good person()
Book Friends 20190413132305620 ()
Book Friends 20190909014850334 ()
Phantom Star phn ()
The world's number one Sakura Princess, ios ()
White-clothed Young Emperor, Su Bai ()
Ask the sky why he must commit suicide ()
My love is unknown ()
My black village girl ()
I'm going to be angry, ()
Yan Xunsuo ()
The other side of the dream ()
Knock-knock ()
Ahao丨 ()
Southerners look like northerners ()
Emperor Jun. ()
Stars, Three Lights()
Young Master Yan()
I'm Really Not a Hero()
The Sky Purple Clouds Are Speckled()
Book Friends 20180227085717735, ios ()
Rotor Hao()
Mo You Zu Ya()
This Is Also OK()
23456757 ()
Di Yi Yan Huan()
The Dark Emperor's Bloodthirsty Halberd()
Floating Life
()Ming Ke()
Earthpanda ()
The God's Death丶()
Kou Ding Yi Ah()
Archangel Yan, ios ()
Not Worth the Road()
Book Friends 150426182028998 ()
Book Friends 161205184550635, ios ()
Book Friends 20170219224144972 ()
Book Friends 20170603012348686, ios ()
Book Friends 20181012204633409, ios ()
Book Friends 20200328091138608 ()
Book Friends 20200405104527242 ()
Book Friends 20200422184345696 () Book Friends
20200424203343185 ()
Book Friends 20200428213908492 ()
Shuimu Bi Jun Ya ()
I am a Komodo giant, ios ()
Bai Mo Sang ()
Jun Mo Xiao ()
Da Ruo Mu Ji 01 ()
My God i ()
I love fishing ()
Silence 0 is the best company ()
Harvester 2 ()
He's always like 1 ()
The shell behind ()
The scumbag ()
E Wei Meng Nan ()
Hai Hua 17 ()
God-like handsome man ()
Chasing dreams 2004 ()
Meazza 10 ()
Qingo Song ()
Trace 96 ()
Black and white ()
Panda fighting bull ()
Mirror flower and water moon 12138 ()
Slender and falling rain (9)
Book friends 20170627212254688 (8)
Oumi hair (qq) (7.88)
See you tomorrow (7.33)
Critical moment (7)
Dazzling hair (7)
Dancing star (7)
〆景道子 (6)
Book friends 20200409124813882 (6)
Leisure bookworm (6)
Looking at the maple leaves in late autumn (6)
Dreaming of black pigs (6)
Follow the wind (qq) (5.88)
afotooo (5)
cmfrrr (5)
cv gentle (5)
inferno殤( 5 )
terinc， ios( 5 )
yg初六( 5 )
youjiuzhiyi( 5 )
zzzuuuuzuzz( 5 )
a handsome guy who refuses to reveal his name( 5 )
life is empty( 5 )
a hurried guest in the
world of red dust( 5 ) mortal world ( 5 )
ordinary learning( 5 )
flying fish loves to eat cats( 5 )
book friends131030195920702( 5 )
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book friends141213230032266， ios( 5 )
book friends160614145845653， ios( 5 )
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Taimen, Maple (5)
Tank-driving Aden (5)
Moonlight Dance in the City ( 5)
Waterweed Gurgle (5)
灬七神灬 (5)
Wind and Rain Old Bookworm (5)
Lack of Skills (5)
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White Memories (5)
Tianna.|ミ, ios (5)
Wandering Time of Years (5)
Mechanical Box (5)
Plane Merchant 000001 (5)
You should, ios (5)
Wu Zide, also known as Lieguang (5)
Zhang Ersui (5)
I exchange winter for spring thunder, ios (5)
No one can come back (5)
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Very boring (5)
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Xiye (5)
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Yanyi (5)
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Book friends 160828002937118 (3)
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Mu ( 3)
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Memories(qq)(1)
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What is the white clothes(1)
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Old Dog Drunk Time(1)
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