"Drip—drip—drip—drip—"
The rhythmic sounds of the mechanical instruments bobbing up and down filled the room, continuously drawing zigzag lines on the electronic screen.
The sound, coming from afar and growing closer, was continuous and gradually cleared Lu Shizhen's chaotic dream.
Thick eyelashes trembled slightly in the darkness, as if they had finally opened their eyes with great effort.
The smell of disinfectant was as strong as ever, and its slightly cool temperature pressed against Lu Shizhen's collarbone.
Before she could even begin to think about what was wrong with her, Lu Shizhen smelled a scent that was very familiar to her.
The hair rubbed against the pillow, making a soft rustling sound.
Lu Shizhen looked down and saw a small figure lying beside her bed in the dim light. The soft little face was resting on her arm, and in the windowless room, she could only see the closed eyes by the light from the flashing lights of the instruments above her head.
It was Xu Shiyue.
She fell asleep.
It seemed as if she had waited here for a long time, and finally succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep.
Lu Shizhen just stared at her like that, and suddenly something dawned on her blank mind.
She wondered if Xu Shiyue had seen her after her surgery that day, and if that was why she told herself she was happy.
After all, she felt happy to see Xu Shiyue by her bedside. She was very happy.
On countless nights before, Lu Shizhen was greeted only by endless darkness upon waking up.
At first, she was scared. The feeling was so lonely, as if the whole world had forgotten her. But she gradually got used to it, got used to the loneliness, and got used to the darkness.
The faint light from the instrument, like the tail of a firefly, fell sporadically onto Xu Shiyue's face.
Lu Shizhen felt that the hollow she had deliberately hidden over the years had been properly filled in.
Lu Shizhen wanted to raise her hand and touch Xu Shiyue's face while she was asleep.
But a heavy feeling came from her arm, and not just her arm, but her whole body felt heavy, as if she couldn't bear it.
Having been awake for five or six minutes, Lu Shizhen's consciousness had returned to normal.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the oxygen tube inserted into her nose.
The blanket should not be pressed against the detection lines connected to the precision instruments; the slightly cool feeling when she first woke up came from her half-naked body.
She was being closely monitored by the instruments assembled above her head; she hadn't simply taken a nap.
She has been unconscious for a while.
Memories flashed back in Lu Shizhen's mind, freezing on the second before she woke up.
At that time, she returned to her own ward from Xu Shiyue's ward. After crossing the corridor, she suddenly felt uncomfortable in her chest.
Perhaps it was the suppression of another world that caused her body to only flare up after she returned to her world.
A mouthful of bright red blood surged and gushed from her throat, spurting out warm, bloody spittle.
The wheelchair lurched forward as the little girl lost consciousness and fell to the ground.
One of the wheels was suspended in the air, rolling helplessly in the room.
"This is a genetic disease, and it's difficult to treat."
"There are currently no cases of patients surviving to adulthood; many patients experience a rapid deterioration in their condition around the age of six or seven."
"I think while we do our best, parents should also be mentally prepared."
...
As we just recalled, this wasn't the first time Lu Shizhen had fallen ill.
Although the doctors deliberately avoided letting her know these cruel facts, she still pieced together her future destiny from the fragmented information she had gathered over the years.
The little girl's eyes suddenly darkened; she was currently at the age of six or seven.
She did indeed feel that this attack was more severe than any of her previous ones, and she even needed the external tube to breathe to make herself feel better.
A long sigh escaped from Lu Shizhen's lips, gently ruffling the long hair on Xu Shiyue's side.
Sensing something was wrong, Xu Shiyue woke up almost immediately.
The moment she opened her eyes, she noticed Lu Shizhen was awake, and her wariness instantly turned into surprise: "You're awake?!"
Upon hearing this, Lu Shizhen silently concealed her emotions and nodded to Xu Shiyue with a slight smile.
She wanted to present herself as a good person to Xu Shiyue, but her current state was really not good.
The light from above shone on her face, making her originally bright eyes appear somewhat sunken, and her eye sockets also looked a bit dark.
Xu Shiyue looked at her, her brows furrowed: "You don't look well. Do you want me to press the button to call the doctor? I can hide in the corridor."
Lu Shizhen was unconscious for days, and Xu Shiyue stayed by her bedside for days.
Sometimes, before you even go inside, you bump into the doctor who's there to observe Lu Shizhen; she's hiding in the corridor.
Upon hearing this, Lu Shizhen immediately shook her head and reached out to grasp Xu Shiyue's hand.
A lot of bad emotions piled up in her mind, making her suddenly want to spend more time with Xu Shiyue.
Xu Shiyue also noticed that Lu Shizhen was in a low mood and asked softly, "What's wrong?"
Children are supposed to be unable to keep their feelings to themselves, but Lu Shizhen is not someone who likes to confide in adults.
Her parents were risking their lives to keep her alive, so if she cried or said she was scared, it would seem like she was being unreasonable.
She's already a burden; she needs to mature.
But Xu Shiyue is different.
She never considered herself disabled, nor did she feel like she would be a burden.
So Lu Shizhen was willing to share her anxieties with her: "I'm almost seven years old, and they say the mortality rate for my disease is very high at this age..."
The little girl's voice was already slightly weak, and the volume became lower and lower as the story progressed.
She was scared and somewhat discouraged, which Xu Shiyue could hear clearly.
The hand that Lu Shizhen was holding squeezed her gently again, and Xu Shiyue said in a gentle voice, "But if you think you will leave, then why did God let us meet?"
Lu Shizhen was speechless when she heard this question.
Yes, if she can't live a long life, why let her meet October?
Why should we make her feel attached to and reluctant to leave this world?
As Lu Shizhen was thinking this, something thick and heavy was shoved into her hand.
It is the poetry collection that Xu Shiyue reads most often.
In the past, I could easily snatch it from her hands, instead of it feeling so heavy now, making my wrist feel like it was about to fall.
Xu Shiyue noticed this detail and proactively opened the book in Lu Shizhen's hands, saying to her, "I really like one of the poems in it, written by Dylan Thomas, called 'Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night'."
Lu Shizhen knew, of course, that Xu Shiyue liked this poem. Several times when she went to see her, she saw her reading it.
However, she didn't understand poetry very well, nor was she particularly interested in it, so she had never read it.
Now, the dark, dense text was neatly arranged on the paper, and Lu Shizhen, somewhat bewildered, let her gaze fall upon it. Then, she heard Xu Shiyue's voice: "Do not go gentle into that good night, for old age should burn and roar at dusk; rage, rage against the passing of the light..."
Xu Shiyue's voice was still childish, but her tone was mature beyond her years.
It's as if new life and the darkness of death are intertwined in the same place, heavy yet full of vitality.
"The fervent seize the fleeting sunlight, sing for it, and then realize it's too late; they've always lamented the passing of time..."
The little girl's soft voice was not calm; every word in her undulating tone sounded like a plea to hold on.
As she was about to finish reading, Xu Shiyue looked up at Lu Shizhen, looked into her eyes and said, "I beg you, do not go gently into that good night. Rebuke, rebuke the passing of the light."
Lu Shizhen understood that Xu Shiyue didn't want her to lose her confidence in fighting the disease.
She used this poem to encourage herself to live well and have the will to live.
"Live well and continue to fight against fate," Xu Shiyue said to Lu Shizhen, her slightly upturned eyes revealing Lu Shizhen's usual tone of voice. "Besides, every extra day you live after escaping death is a bonus, isn't it?"
yes.
Lu Shizhen was persuaded and nodded slightly on the pillow.
Xu Shiyue glanced at Lu Shizhen lying on the bed and her eyes flickered slightly.
Then she raised her hand and gently stroked Lu Shizhen's forehead, saying to her, "You will fall in love and get married in the future, and you will definitely have a complete life just like everyone else."
Lu Shizhen frowned slightly as she listened.
Her voice was still weak, but it had the strength to remind Xu Shiyue: "Shiyue... it seems you forgot to mention 'having children'. Don't they all say 'marrying and having children'...marrying and having children'?"
Xu Shiyue's fingers continued to gently caress Lu Shizhen's smooth forehead, her slightly parted lips pursed.
Those dark eyes swept over the features of the person lying on the bed, as if they held many unspoken words, wandering back and forth.
After a long pause, she simply asked softly, "Lu Shizhen, have you ever fantasized about love?"
This question sounds a bit abrupt, but it connects to the question Lu Shizhen just raised.
She paused for a moment, then shook her head: "I spend all my time dealing with death. My fantasy is just that I can live to adulthood, so that I won't be a burden to anyone then..."
With a bitter taste in her mouth, Lu Shizhen smiled, pursing her lips.
Perhaps realizing her idea wasn't very appealing, she turned to look at Xu Shiyue and asked, "Where's Shiyue?"
She imagined that a little girl like October must have many, many fantasies.
Her future will surely be bright and beautiful, filled with flowers and splendor, far surpassing my own.
However, Lu Shizhen did not get the beautiful fantasy that the little girl had expected.
Xu Shiyue pursed her lips slightly, her gaze calm yet profound.
She looked at Lu Shizhen with the same gentle gaze as always and said to her, "I hope to meet you when you're an adult."
These words are simple, yet they seem to conceal emotions that cannot be expressed in words.
Lu Shizhen was startled, and the dim light covering her face was then obscured by a shadow.
Xu Shiyue slowly leaned down from above her line of sight and then kissed Lu Shizhen.
The child's immature and moist lips pressed against her cheek, only a tiny distance from her lips.
"Buzz—"
Suddenly, the sound of electricity filled the space. The monitoring equipment in the room seemed to have paused, yet it also seemed that it hadn't.
The empty room was left with only the little girl lying alone on the bed.
The temperature in the temperature-controlled ward dropped by one degree for some reason, and then returned to normal.
Lu Shizhen felt a chill run down her spine and suddenly felt her mind go blank.
The ward was quiet and deserted at night. She stared at the blank wall where the wheelchair was parked, feeling as if she had lost something, yet she also felt that she had nothing to lose.
The room is just this size, square in shape, and the simple furniture makes everything look exceptionally orderly.
It can be seen at a glance.
Lu Shizhen lay on the bed for a long time before slowly blinking her eyes.
Skilled yet with a touch of awkwardness.
Years of illness have made Lu Shizhen extremely familiar with every bone in her body, so she can also sensitively perceive every change in her body.
Lu Shizhen suddenly felt that her body was a little different, but she didn't know how to describe this difference.
And it was from that night onward that her health inexplicably began to improve. Although she still couldn't walk, many of the conditions that hadn't been good during the initial tests were improving dramatically, and even seemed to be under control.
It was as if someone was urging her to leave the ward quickly.
After another six months, Lu Shizhen was deemed by the expert group to be able to leave the strictly controlled sterile ward and was transferred to a regular ward.
Lu Shizhen still remembers that the weather was great that day. She was finally able to leave this place that she had longed to leave so much.
But as she was leaving, she turned back, and a feeling of reluctance, she didn't know where it came from, held her hand that was holding the wheelchair.
She felt as if she had left something behind, and she was inexplicably worried and afraid that others would not be able to find her.
But since people aren't allowed to come and go freely here, who would come to see her?
...
The pitch-black corridor swallowed the sunlight pouring in, and forgotten memories surged toward Lu Shizhen like waves.
The icy seawater crashed onto her, hitting her hard and almost drowning her completely.
The bright midday sun shone directly into the ordinary hospital ward. Lu Shizhen held the handle formed by the sunlight, tears welling up in her eyes and falling onto her blanket-covered legs, soaking them.
She knew who it was.
It was Xu Shiyue.
She forgot about Xu Shiyue.
twice.
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