The morning sun was shining brightly.
The cicadas' chirping in the height of summer is interspersed among the lush greenery, and the elevated highways spanning the tall buildings are bustling with traffic. Everything looks so thriving.
The bright, energetic sunlight shone on the glass, and the clean window reflected a thin figure sitting in a wheelchair.
The blue and white striped hospital gown was a bit faded and pilling, and under the sleeves were the rough and swollen backs of the hands from years of injections, which seemed out of place with everything around them.
Yet it doesn't seem so out of place.
Lu Shizhen has lived in this world for over twenty years.
From the moment she was born, the world seemed to be rejecting her, trying to force her out with illness. But she was not forced out; she lived to adulthood and found her own value in this world.
This is the third day since Lu Shizhen woke up from her post-operative coma, and she no longer needs intravenous fluids.
The two arms rested together on the armrests of the wheelchair, the damp palms gently rubbing the rough, purplish hands that had been tormented by medical tape.
She thought that as long as she took good care of herself, her hands would be fully recovered in a few days.
Then she will be able to pick up her paintbrush and continue doing what she wants to do.
But……
Lu Shizhen's gaze slowly shifted from the back of her hand to the window, watching the sparrows fly across the sky into the distance beyond her sight.
She suddenly longed for the outside world, a longing she had never felt before.
She didn't know where this longing and resentment came from; she had clearly accepted from a very young age that she would never be able to stand up again in her life.
She's already very successful in keeping her legs in good condition, without any atrophy or deformity, so why does she still want to stand up?
Over the years, whether in the hospital or occasionally outside, Lu Shizhen's first impression on others has always been that of optimism and positivity.
She is indeed optimistic, with a better mindset than many normal people, but this does not hinder her sensitivity at all.
She could hear the subtle sounds of the wheelchair's axles moving, and she could also sense the changes in her mindset.
This sense of resentment wasn't the kind of vague envy, but rather a feeling of unease that came from having truly experienced standing up and having legs that could move freely, and the inability to adjust after losing them.
Lu Shizhen looked out the window at the vibrant world, her gaze clouded over.
She felt as if a piece was missing when she woke up, a small but deep one, as if a hole had pierced her heart and gone straight through her body.
What's inside isn't just her unwillingness and longing to stand up.
There was also unpleasant jealousy.
Jealousy towards Shen Yanxing, who was embracing Xu Shiyue.
That jealousy wasn't something that suddenly arose; it seemed to have been buried deep within her for a long time.
No matter how long it's buried, the other person is still just a two-dimensional character. No matter how beautiful they are, they're still just a two-dimensional character.
Even if Xu Shiyue was her favorite before, she shouldn't have gone this far...
Would humans come to like two-dimensional characters?
Or, to put it another way, can humans fall in love with a two-dimensional character and develop a possessive desire for her?
Lu Shizhen touched her phone in her pocket, hesitating whether to post a question on Baidu.
She slowly typed a whole line of text, but before she could even search it, she quickly deleted it.
It's said that the internet is great for communication and brainstorming because everyone is a stranger, but for some reason, Lu Shizhen just didn't want to tell this to complete strangers.
Just as I was hesitating, a message from my best friend popped up in the message bar: [Pomegranate, why haven't you received my files these past few days? What's wrong, are you annoyed with me? Or is the comic book publisher chasing you for your manuscript, and you're rushing to finish it?]
[I said if you're rushing to finish a manuscript, you can put it off for a while. You're just recovering, so don't overwork yourself. Your health is important, Pomegranate. Mom wants you to live a long life. Mom still wants to eat the food you produce qaq]
Her best friend was genuinely worried about Lu Shizhen's health and would urge her to go to bed early every day.
Lu Shizhen looked at her frivolous words with disdain, but she had to admit that she felt much lighter, and the sound of her fingers tapping on the screen was crisper than before: 【No deadline, just quit.】
【Huh? You quit? So fast? You quit just like that?】The shock from his friend was palpable between the lines.
Lu Shizhen replied rather calmly, "Mm."
Lu Shizhen's friend couldn't believe her sudden decision and asked, "Why?! Did I give you too much food? Are you too full to eat anymore?"
"No," Lu Shizhen said, "It's just..."
At this point, Lu Shizhen paused, her finger hovering above the screen.
She seemed to freeze for a moment, and after a long pause, she replied hesitantly, "I don't find it interesting anymore."
[Sobbing.] My best friend sadly sent Lu Shizhen a sad frog emoji, [If Xu Shiyue knew she had lost someone as important as you, she would be heartbroken.]
The chat interface with the name "Xu Shiyue" remained silent for a long time. Lu Shizhen stared at the last sentence for a long time.
Strangely enough, after feeling jealous, Lu Shizhen felt sad and even heartbroken because of Xu Shiyue.
She actually felt heartbroken over those words.
It was as if what her best friend said had actually happened, and she didn't want to make Xu Shiyue sad...
Suddenly, Lu Shizhen felt as if her world had frozen for a moment.
The surroundings were quiet; the cicadas' chirping and the birds' flight had all disappeared outside the window. She stared blankly at the clock above her head; the second hand was stuck at 12 and didn't move for a long while.
"Squeak—"
Meanwhile, the sound of cicadas began to fill the quiet room again, and sparrows fluttered their wings past the sunlight streaming through the window, their glare momentarily blinding Lu Shizhen.
The second hand returned to normal.
Lu Shizhen blinked and stared at the clock for a long time.
She wondered if she was going crazy. Her finger, hovering over the typing box, finally fell. She cautiously shared her thoughts with her best friend: "It's not that it's pointless, it's just that I suddenly don't like Shen Yanxing anymore, and I don't like her being with Xu Shiyue."
Then, half-jokingly but with utmost seriousness, she typed: "I'm starting to wonder if I've damaged my brain from sleeping too much. Maybe I should get a brain CT scan sometime?"
Lu Shizhen didn't expect to receive a message from her best friend immediately, since fifteen minutes had passed since their last conversation.
Just as she put down her phone, wanting to think things through in peace, the vibration from her leg reached her palm: "Actually, if you find it strange, why not try to investigate?"
Since you feel you've lost it, take a close look; you'll eventually see it again.
The two sentences seemed to be a serious response to Lu Shizhen's earlier confusion, but they also sounded disjointed.
Lu Shizhen frowned, feeling that her best friend's words sounded strange and familiar, yet not quite.
Lu Shizhen was still frowning when another message popped up on the screen: "Or, eat more apples."
Suddenly, Lu Shizhen smiled.
Well, I knew this guy could only be serious for two seconds.
All that serious thinking she did just now was just a case of her being a chuunibyou (middle school syndrome) sufferer.
But after that remark, Lu Shizhen actually started to crave an apple.
She loved eating apples, and there were always fresh apples available in the ward. She would casually grab one from the cabinet while pushing her wheelchair.
The round, red apple was held in Lu Shizhen's hand, and she tossed it up in the air as usual before catching it.
Toss it up, catch it, toss it up again...
"Thump."
Suddenly, Lu Shizhen made a mistake.
The round apple suddenly crashed onto the tiled floor and rolled to one side of the ward.
Lu Shizhen pushed the wheelchair and chased after the apple, finally catching up with it when it stopped in front of the wall.
She bent down and picked up the apple with relatively little effort.
Then she looked up, her toes touching the wall, and a large expanse of white came into her view. She was almost pressed against the wall.
There's a very strange feeling.
"If you feel you've lost it, just look closely, and you'll eventually see it again."
The words her best friend had just said suddenly echoed in Lu Shizhen's ears, and her dark eyes inexplicably fixed on the wall in front of her.
Sunlight slanted in, and the security bars outside the window divided the light into strips, which then fell onto the wall.
It's like a door.
Lu Shizhen stared blankly for a moment, then instinctively reached out her arm, which was resting on her wheelchair, toward the shadow.
The door handle was placed in her palm; it was small, probably a size designed specifically for children.
Flocks of pigeons made a cooing sound, like radio waves, as they flew across the sky from afar.
Lu Shizhen's wrist twitched slightly, as if she had twisted a handle in her palm, and in an instant, strange memories flooded her.
...
The sound of an apple rolling echoed down the long corridor, where there was no light, and the void of darkness spread along with the sound of the apple.
Xiao Lu Shizhen didn't know where this place came from either. When she noticed it, a dark door frame had suddenly appeared on the wall.
If her apple hadn't rolled away accidentally, she wouldn't have even come close to take a look.
Having experienced so many life-and-death situations, Xiao Lu Shizhen had long since become numb to some things, but this pitch blackness still genuinely frightened her.
Just then, the sound of the apple scrolling suddenly stopped.
The endless darkness abruptly ended, and a rectangular light shone at the end of the corridor, perfectly square, like a window breaking open in the darkness.
Xiao Lu Shizhen tightened her grip on the wheelchair.
She saw a hand, almost the same size as herself, appear in the light, and the hand picked up the apple she had stopped on.
Lu Shizhen was very wary. From a distance, she said to the figure holding her apple, "Give me back my apple."
A child's voice is immature and childish; no matter how serious one tries to be, it still carries a sense of naivety.
The figure in the distance, upon hearing Xiao Lu Shizhen's words, was not intimidated at all, and walked towards Xiao Lu Shizhen with the apple in hand.
The light, following her steps, faintly illuminated the dark corridor.
She was a little girl wearing a blue and white striped hospital gown. Her soft, black hair hung down to her shoulders, and she looked very well-behaved. Her eyes were bright and beautiful, like jewels.
Xiao Lu Shizhen is hospitalized year-round and knows almost every pediatric patient in the ward.
She thought that if there really was such a little patient, she would definitely remember her, but she had never seen this little girl in the hospital.
Unable to determine what kind of person this was, Xiao Lu Shizhen's eyes were full of wariness. She almost snatched the apple back from the little girl and thanked her hastily, saying, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," the little girl said calmly, showing no displeasure at Lu Shizhen's rudeness.
Perhaps it was because the little girl's voice was too calm and steady, but Xiao Lu Shizhen felt that she didn't look sick.
Even though the little girl had just returned her lost apple, Lu Shizhen remained wary, acting like a little adult, and questioned her in an unfriendly tone: "What, why are you dressed as a patient too? Are you sick?"
The little girl nodded calmly.
She pointed to her chest and then loosened the bandage slightly, revealing a large piece of gauze underneath, along with wires connecting to the monitoring equipment.
Xiao Lu Shizhen paused for a moment, her eyes, which had just been blatantly wary, blinked repeatedly.
She had never regretted anything as much as she did today, and was immediately filled with remorse for her rude hostility towards the little girl.
The apple, which had been returned to her so kindly, weighed heavily in Lu Shizhen's hand. She touched the apple in her hand and asked the little girl more solemnly and kindly, "Um, thank you for returning the apple to me. My name is Lu Shizhen, what's your name?"
“Xu Shiyue,” the little girl said. “Xu as in permission, Shi as in picking up, and Yue as in the moon.”
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