48 Chapter 48
Before dawn, the sky was deep and sticky, the boundless darkness like ink spreading between heaven and earth, enveloping and surrounding the ships moving forward.
Tong Shu felt a little breathless. She pulled her mask down a bit and felt the pain of the cold wind cutting across her cheek. Her mind was a mess, as if it was filled with thoughts, yet also as if it was empty.
"Cover your face." A hand reached out from behind, its heat almost burning, and forcefully put Tong Shu's mask back on.
Qin Xiaoxiao was placed at the stern of the boat and covered with thick clothes. After boarding, she wouldn't let anyone get close. If anyone touched her, she would twist and resist violently, not even Tong Shu.
Watching the silhouette of the ship bobbing along with the convoy, a sense of powerlessness rose from the soles of her feet, and Tong Shu began to feel fear. She didn't know how to face her family. The three of them had set off together, yet one of them had become a completely different person. She imagined the questioning expressions on her aunt and uncle's faces, and for the first time, the thought of running away arose in her mind.
"Wen Shaocheng," Tong Shu said, her voice hoarse and strained, "Could I wait a bit and go stay with your supply ship for a while?"
"Hmm?" Wen Shao Cheng turned his head to look at her. "Aren't you going home?"
Tong Shu shook her head, her gaze still fixed on Qin Xiaoxiao.
Wen Shaocheng roughly guessed Tong Shu's thoughts, and he said in a deep voice, "Tong Shu, running away is not the solution."
Tong Shu was startled, but didn't know how to respond. She lowered her head, looked at her toes, and remained silent.
The biting wind howled, and the only sound in the silent night was the scraping of steel bars against the ice. The soldiers wielding ski poles wore thick protective earmuffs, and the conversation between the two men at the bow of the boat was diluted by the wind, only they could hear it clearly.
"...The first time I led a team on a mission, due to a misjudgment, one of my comrades lost his left arm." After a long while, Tong Shu heard Wen Shaocheng's indistinct voice beside her ear.
“I remember telling you that I was very young when I joined the army. Because of my excellent performance in various aspects, I was promoted all the way to the special forces team. I was only seventeen years old when I became the captain.” As the rosy clouds rose on the horizon, Wen Shaocheng turned his head and stared at the faint red glow. “Becoming a captain at such a young age, no matter how mature I appeared in front of outsiders, I was indeed a little arrogant. At that time, I felt that I was invincible and had the mentality that I would succeed as long as I did it.”
"So people really can't be too confident in themselves. At that time, I didn't listen to the advice of the veterans in the team and insisted on leading people to break through underwater. Those people grew up by the water and had already made arrangements near the shore. My comrade's hand was used to cover me when I was injured by the bomb."
The speaker's rambling whispers held a captivating allure, and Tong Shu unconsciously turned her body, her eyes fixed intently on Wen Shaocheng: "And then?"
Wen Shaocheng seemed to know what she was asking and immediately replied, "When I returned to the squadron, I naturally received a disciplinary action, but I was not upset about it; it was what I deserved."
"What saddens me is that my comrade-in-arms was discharged because of this mission." Wen Shaocheng paused, a trace of pain flashing in his eyes. "He was only twenty-two years old, and his promising future was completely ruined because of my wrong order."
Tong Shu felt an even stronger sense of pent-up emotions: "...Sister Xiao is only twenty-five years old."
“I’m not telling you this to let you wallow in self-blame.” Wen Shaocheng lowered his eyes and looked at the dejected Tong Shu, saying, “I knew from the beginning that I would have more than just a small squad under my command in the future. Ever since that mistake, every time I make a decision, I think about that arm that flew past me first. No one can be perfect, but one can learn from experience. Tong Shu, you’re too naive. This near-death experience might change your naive thinking. Protect yourself first, and then do more.”
"Look on the bright side, at least the three of you came back safe and sound. Under such circumstances, it's already very lucky that you survived."
The sun had already risen in the distance, and the sky was bright.
The orange-yellow light shone from behind Wen Shaocheng, making the man's strong lines appear somewhat gentle even in the dim light.
Tong Shu nodded, then awkwardly shifted a few inches to the other side. "I understand, I'll go home."
,,,
As the boat drew closer to the residential area, Tong Shu's heart, which had finally calmed down, began to pound uncontrollably again.
Seeing Tong Shu's trembling hands, Wen Shaocheng sighed imperceptibly, patted her back, and said, "Don't be afraid, we'll take you up."
Tong Shu looked up, forgetting that she was still wearing a mask, and smiled gratefully at him.
Downstairs at the apartment building, Wen Shaocheng carried Qin Xiaoxiao on his back, while Tong Shu watched nervously beside him to prevent her from suddenly struggling and falling to the ground.
"You guys go back and rest first, I'll take the person up," Wen Shaocheng said to the other soldiers.
Several soldiers responded and rowed the boat toward the supply ship. They hadn't rested all night and wanted to get back to rest as soon as possible.
"Let's go." Wen Shaocheng carried Qin Xiaoxiao on his back and walked towards the stairwell. Qin Xiaoxiao seemed to have fallen asleep and was quietly sitting on Wen Shaocheng's back.
The two walked up the stairs in silence. Tong Shu and Wen Shaocheng had walked this corridor together many times, but never before had it felt so heavy.
"Knock knock knock," Tong Shu's head tightened as she raised her hand and knocked on the door.
Almost immediately, the door was opened, indicating that someone had been guarding it from the inside.
"Xiaoxiao!" Shuya rushed out of the room with her hair disheveled. When she saw Tong Shu standing in the doorway, she forced a smile that looked more like a grimace: "...Shu, Shushu, where is my Xiaoxiao?"
"...Here, Major Wen is carrying her." Tong Shu took half a step to the right, and Wen Shaocheng stepped forward, turning around to show her Qin Xiaoxiao wrapped in his clothes.
Shuya's tense nerves instantly relaxed the moment she saw Qin Xiaoxiao. Tears streaming down her face, she rushed forward to take her daughter, saying, "It's alright, Xiaoxiao, it's alright..."
Shu Hua squeezed out of the room and pulled Tong Shu to her side, examining her closely. Her face was filled with undisguised anxiety and worry: "You child, you scared your mother to death, you know that! How are you? Are you alright?"
Tong Shu shook her head wearily and was about to go into her room when she suddenly remembered something. She turned to look at the door and saw Wen Shaocheng standing there, staring at her intently. When he saw her looking over, he winked at her, then waved and slowly walked out.
Qin Xiaoxiao had already been half-carried and half-carried back into the house by Qin Jiaqiang and Shuya. Tong Shu still couldn't tell them what had happened to Qin Xiaoxiao at this time. She forced herself to cheer up and persuaded the two elderly people to go back to their room. Tong Shu dragged her exhausted body into the room, and without even taking off her clothes, she threw herself straight onto the bed.
"Shushu? Shushu?" Shuhua knocked on the door from the outside. Tong Shu had locked the door, so she couldn't come in. "Open the door for Mom. Tell Mom what happened. Your cousin is confused and can't explain anything. What exactly happened to Xiaoxiao?"
"Mom, let me be by myself for a while!" Tong Shu called out to the outside in a muffled voice, lying face down on the quilt.
“Okay…” Shu Hua stood outside the door, looking worried but not wanting to disturb her daughter’s rest, so she said, “If anything happens, just call me and your dad. Your mom and dad are here.”
Tong Shu didn't respond. Shu Hua rubbed her hands together and went to find Wang Jie again.
Not long after, Shuya's crying came from the rooftop. Tong Shu turned over, stared at the ceiling, and her temples throbbed.
The sound of hurried footsteps came from the stairs, probably because others had gone to the mezzanine to check the situation.
Tong Shu opened her eyes, her back arched, ready to get out of bed and open the door to face her aunt and uncle's questions at any moment.
She waited on the bed for a long time, until the low voices upstairs stopped, until footsteps came from the stairs again, until all the sounds disappeared again, and the whole room fell silent.
No one knocked on the door.
Tong Shu felt completely drained of all her strength.
You really think too highly of yourself, Tong Shu.
Tong Shu said to herself.
After having a lucky encounter, he fantasizes about becoming a savior, acting on impulse and doing things full of loopholes, ultimately failing to even protect those closest to him.
"Smack!"
A crisp slap rang out, and Tong Shu slapped herself.
You deserve to be told to be a good person and to be ambitious and opportunistic.
Tong Shu turned away, letting tears slide down her cheeks. She hated herself for being blinded by a small-scale peace. She had clearly heard from Wen Shaocheng that the situation outside the city's north was dire, but she hadn't taken it seriously. She was proud and arrogant, thinking she could save the north of the city and the entire Z city. What was even more ridiculous was that she even presumptuously thought she could reach out to other provinces and save even more people.
The ice crystals on my face melted and mixed with my tears, making it sticky and difficult to open my eyes.
Tong Shu lay there on her back, her right hand resting on her chest, pondering and questioning herself repeatedly about what she really wanted.
"I can't be a hero."
Tong Shu thought for a long, long time before speaking softly.
She had figured it out. From the beginning, all she wanted to do was protect her own little family, her parents, grandparents, her mother's relatives, and her aunt and uncle who had taken good care of her since she was a child.
The government and military's efforts, as well as the island's seemingly omnipotent nature, instilled in her an inappropriate sense of mission, for which she ultimately paid the price, causing harm to those who shouldn't have been hurt.
What difference would it make if they didn't complete the mission on the island? Their family could live a life of comfort and security in the apocalypse, even if natural disasters struck one after another.
Tong Shu laughed twice, relieved.
"There's nothing I can do." In the air-raid shelter, Wen Shaocheng's pained face flashed through Tong Shu's mind. Accompanied by that sour voice, Tong Shu's heart clenched. She immediately shook her head, trying to banish this inappropriate image from her mind.
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