Chapter 57: None of My Medicines Are My Medicines
Xu Tian was the one who felt the most abnormality after Li Ci's return.
Li Ci and she were still nominally in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. She had originally thought that after he came back, the nightmare that she had briefly escaped would also come back to her, but the facts proved that something was different.
The tone of his voice and the curve of his smile seemed to be the same as before, but something was wrong.
Temperament is temperament.
The temperament and eyes are different.
He is still good at disguising himself, still two-faced, but beneath the skin, the romantic and frivolous things that were once engraved in his soul seem to have disappeared.
When they were together, he no longer lingered on physical contact with her like he used to. At certain moments, she could even see a hint of resistance and disgust in his eyes. He was even more resistant to this kind of closeness and contact than she was.
The look in his eyes when he looked at me was always calm, or perhaps it was a pretended intimacy, but underneath the disguise was a kind of bewilderment that even he himself couldn't understand.
Ever since she met Zhong Fei on the bus, the two of them had no private contact. After that, they occasionally met, but they were just acquaintances.
What happened by the Xuling River, the conversation between the two, her ambiguous promise, Xu Tian never mentioned it to anyone. In order not to cause trouble for her, she kept everything secret. Now that this man is back, can she still get away with it?
Thinking of what happened in the cafeteria, Xu Tian sighed in her heart, fearing that this was just the beginning, and she was ultimately implicated by her.
In the same box, Li Ci was playing games. After losing a game, he threw the mouse in frustration. His movement was a bit too big, and Xu Tian, who was standing next to him, was startled as if by reflex and her body trembled.
Li Ci took in her movements, leaned back on the chair.
He tilted his head to look at her, watching her sitting beside him motionless, straight and stiff like a piece of wood, and sneered: "Are you afraid of me?"
Xu Tian was startled and shook his head gently, "No."
Li Ci looked at her, his tone seemed very gentle, "Why are you afraid? Am I not good to you?"
Xu Tian shook his head, "No."
Li Ci suddenly changed the subject and asked, "Do you know that girl?"
Xu Tian's eyelashes trembled slightly, and her nerves suddenly tensed up. "...Which one?"
Li Ci stared at her and said word by word, "The one in the cafeteria at your school. Zhong Fei."
Xu Tian looked over and said, "We are not familiar with each other."
"But you seem to care about her very much." Li Ci said.
"No," Xu Tian denied, "We have nothing in common."
Li Ci suddenly straightened up and leaned towards her, his pale and handsome face pressed towards her with warm breath, as if he wanted to kiss her. Xu Tian cooperated and closed her eyes.
Li Ci kept his eyes open, his lips lingering an inch away from hers: "You've wanted to leave me for a long time, haven't you?"
Xu Tian opened his eyes wide.
Li Ci sat back down, his body leaning limply against the back of the chair.
"As you wish," he said. "Go away."
Xu Tian looked over, not knowing whether he didn't believe what he said or didn't believe his own ears, and there was no movement for a long time.
Although her life has become peaceful in the past few months due to Li Ci's disappearance.
But this peace is more like borrowed, and no one knows when it will be taken back.
She never knew when this man would come back and play with her life as badly as before.
It was like there was a sword that could fall at any moment, and she could never truly feel at ease.
And now, he personally gave her back her freedom.
The person next to me closed his eyes, looking extremely tired, and his face was frighteningly pale.
Xu Tian didn't say anything else, not even a goodbye. He stood up carefully and tiptoed away from his seat.
The moment she walked out of the box, her eyes suddenly felt sore and her chest felt tight. Is this the end? Is this the end?
Xu Tian smiled bitterly and walked faster.
It’s over, it’s finally over.
After Xu Tian left, Li Ci opened his eyes in the recliner. A feeling of irritation and emptiness once again crept up on him.
He hasn't had a good night's sleep in a long time.
It was as if someone had helped him evolve his sleep during the time he was missing.
He seemed to recognize his bed - sadly, it wasn't his bed.
Something was still not right with his room. Nothing was right. He had almost emptied the room, but looking at the layout inside still made him feel uncomfortable. Something was wrong! Nothing was right!
He couldn't even sleep for three hours a day. When he did fall asleep occasionally, he would have nightmares for nights. He dreamed of falling off a cliff, being trapped in a woods full of snakes, being locked in a small dark room... Then he would suddenly wake up, his body shaking with fear, and shaking with convulsions all over his body.
A special psychologist was arranged at home. During the day, he tried hard to act out his former self, a normal person. But at night, he became a useless person who couldn't even sleep.
The psychologist counseled him every night and gave him medication, and he was very cooperative! But it was no use, absolutely no use!
He wanted to know what had happened in the past, he wanted to know what had happened to him, he wanted to know who had turned him into this, he wanted to skin him alive, peel off his tendons and break his bones, he would not let him go, he would return the pain he was suffering now ten thousand times over, damn it, all of them deserved to die.
Li Ci was lying on the sofa, his pale skin looked even more sickly against the burgundy leather, like a dying vampire.
He lay there with his eyes closed when the door of the box was suddenly pushed open.
Li Ci opened his eyes irritably, and Zeng Jinghuan was already standing not far away.
Li Ci glanced at her and frowned: "Who let you in?"
"It's my birthday on Saturday, will you come?" Zeng Jinghuan asked.
Li Ci pursed her lips: "I'll go when I have time."
Zeng Jinghuan looked at him motionlessly: "I invited Zhong Fei."
Li Ci was stunned for a moment, and a hint of sarcasm appeared at the corner of his lips. "Put away your cleverness. I hate self-righteous people."
He paused and sneered, "If you invite her, will she definitely come?"
Zeng Jinghuan stared at him intently, "She will definitely come."
Li Ci didn't say anything, just looked at her silently, grabbed his coat and walked out of the box with a gloomy face.
......
On Saturday, Lin Xicai was studying in the library when her cell phone suddenly rang. It was Xiang Ling calling.
Lin Xicai went to the lounge area and answered the call. A muffled voice came from the other end of the line: "Zhong... Zhong Fei, I'm drunk. Can you pick me up?"
"Ah?" Lin Xicai's eyes jumped. "Where are your friends? Are they all here?"
Xiang Ling had said she was going to a childhood friend's birthday party on Saturday. She'd saved money for two months preparing a gift, so she must be at the party now. The little girl couldn't hold her liquor, so it was normal for her to get drunk. But why did this call get to her...
"They...they said they were drunk too..." Xiang Ling's voice came out intermittently, with a little lisp, "Zhong Fei, come and pick me up, I...I'm scared..."
Lin Xicai hesitated for a moment, but finally couldn't bear it anymore: "Okay, send me your location."
"Um......"
Lin Xicai looked at the time. After picking up and dropping off the people, it was probably about time. She returned to her seat, packed her things, and rushed to the KTV at the address with her schoolbag on her back.
Lin Xicai was afraid that the other party would have to wait for a long time, so she took a taxi and rushed all the way to the box.
Lin Xicai stopped in front of the box, checked the room number again, pushed the door and walked in. There was indeed a birthday party going on inside, but the birthday boy surprised her.
Inside, men and women alike were gathered around. Zeng Jinghuan was standing in the center, a delicate crown pinned to her head. On the table lay cake and gifts. Xiang Ling, already drunk, lay sprawled across the table, soundly asleep.
Outside the crowd, a familiar figure was standing against the wall. The moment Lin Xicai pushed the door and walked in, he glanced over.
As she walked in, the box suddenly became quiet. The original laughter and joy froze, becoming cold, stiff and awkward, as if her arrival had broken the good atmosphere here.
Lin Xicai looked at Xiang Ling, then at Zeng Jinghuan, and immediately understood everything.
She suddenly smiled and said, "Are you the childhood friend Xiang Ling mentioned who grew up with her?"
Lin Xicai picked up the necklace that had been casually placed on the table. The box was stained with wine and cake. She sighed, "She started saving money two months ago just for something like this. She's really stupid."
Zeng Jinghuan's expression changed: "Who are you calling stupid?"
"Isn't that stupid? You treated her with all your heart, yet she treated you like a tool." Lin Xicai's eyes were mocking. "Didn't you get her drunk and do all this just to lure me over here?"
"I didn't intend to do anything to her," Zeng Jinghuan said.
"But you used her." Lin Xicai said.
The girl across from me seemed to have felt a pang of pain, and her voice suddenly became louder. "If she blames me, that's my business. It's not for an outsider to say anything! Who do you think you are? What qualifications do you have to point fingers at our affairs?"
Lin Xicai was too lazy to argue and walked over to pull Xiang Ling up from the table. However, before her fingers touched Xiang Ling, Zeng Jinghuan suddenly came forward and pushed her hard. Her waist was pushed against the corner of the table by the force, and her little face wrinkled in pain.
Li Ci's eyes suddenly became sharper.
He looked over coldly almost as a reflex, his eyes falling on the hand that pushed her out.
An inexplicable impulse made him suddenly furious, and the rage almost burst out of his heart, but before the rage got out of control, his remaining rationality quickly made him confused again.
Why is he angry, what is he angry about?
He shouldn't have interfered, and there was no reason for him to interfere.
Li Ci's fingertips turned white as he held the wine glass, and he restrained himself from interfering.
I also tried to control the urge in my heart to get close to that person at all costs.
Li Ci stared at the person. From the moment she entered the room till now, she seemed to have not even glanced at him. Li Ci began to count in his mind, betting with himself that when he counted to a certain number, the person would look at him once.
If she... if this bitch could just look at him before he counted to ten, then he, he could let bygones be bygones and stop bothering her...
Li Ci felt that he was extremely kind, and this bet was simply his generosity towards her.
But, this bitch was so unlucky and so hateful. He didn't know how many times he had counted from one to ten in his mind, but she never looked at him from beginning to end.
She kept looking at Zeng Jinghuan, and Li Ci felt a tightness in his chest. He was even jealous of Zeng Jinghuan.
Jealousy and anger welled up within him. Why didn't you fight back? Didn't you have arms? Why did you make that pitiful expression? Were you deliberately trying to make others feel sorry for you? No one sympathizes with you, no one feels sorry for you, bitch!
Zeng Jinghuan was staring at her, Li Ci was staring at her, everyone present was staring at her, but Lin Xicai ignored all the gazes equally, climbed up from the table, bent down, and reached out to pull Xiang Ling again.
Zeng Jinghuan stared at her indifferent expression, and his eyes hurt.
Still pretending.
She is still pretending.
She must reveal her true colors.
Zeng Jinghuan reached out to touch her again, but before she could raise her hand, another hand reached out and grabbed her arm fiercely.
Zeng Jinghuan raised her head hesitantly. Li Ci glared at her with a distorted expression: "Get out of here."
Zeng Jinghuan froze there, "What did you say?"
Li Ci grabbed her arm and shook it off, his voice heavy: "Get out of here, I have something to say to her."
Everyone was frightened and hurried out. Zeng Jinghuan's eyes were sore and he stood there stubbornly. The others couldn't bear it any longer and coaxed and dragged him away.
In the huge box, they were the only ones left, along with an unconscious drunk.
The two people stood there in an inexplicable stalemate, and neither of them spoke first.
Lin Xicai looked at this person and the familiar uniform opposite him. For a moment, she imagined that they were still in the space.
Lin Xicai suddenly felt a little tired and sat down on the sofa.
As she sat down on the sofa, Li Ci squatted down and sat on the carpet under the sofa.
Lin Xicai stared at his movements, slightly stunned, with a complicated expression.
Li Ci didn't seem to think about why he was sitting there. There was no reason, it was just the way it should be. The moment he sat down on the blanket at her feet, his nerves relaxed for the first time in a long time.
It was as if a string that was stretched to the extreme and about to break suddenly relaxed.
Li Ci suddenly felt a little sleepy for the first time in a long time.
"What do you want to say?" Lin Xicai asked.
"I haven't had a good night's sleep in a long time."
Li Ci spoke to himself, his tone surprisingly calm, "I can't sleep. No matter what I do, I can't sleep for more than two hours a day. When I do fall asleep, I have nightmares. I'm tired of not being able to sleep, and I'm even more tired of being woken up by a startle. I feel like I'm dying."
Lin Xicai was silent for a moment, "Is there no doctor to take care of you?"
"Yes. But they are not my medicine."
Li Ci suddenly looked up at her and said, "They are not my medicine, and they can't prescribe medicine that can save my life. But now you are sitting here, and I am looking at you. I suddenly feel a little sleepy. If I close my eyes now, I can probably sleep for a long time. Tell me, why is this?"
Lin Xicai shook her head, "I don't know."
Li Ci stared at her with a look that was almost vicious, so vicious that it became blurred with obsession.
"Have we known each other before?" he asked.
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