Chapter 169 "It has nothing to do with whether or not one has desires..."
“It wasn’t poisoning,” I said. “If poisoning could succeed, then all the rulers of the kingdoms could be easily poisoned to death, but that’s clearly not the case.”
"Oh, do you have any ideas?" she asked, intrigued.
"You could try teaming up with the mother of King Midian's mad son to see if you can control King Midian?"
"Am I insane? To join forces with that madman's mother? How can we possibly control King Midian?"
“Are you stupid?” I laughed. “King Midan likes men. Don’t you know you can use men to control King Midan?”
“You think I haven’t tried? I’ve introduced him to many handsome men, but he doesn’t like any of them. He only loves that man from the island, but that man is impervious to reason. No amount of money could bribe him. He even told King Midan about my attempt to bribe him, which made me lose face.”
“He has a weakness.” I slowly approached her and whispered, “He values family ties, just like your family.”
The rain intensified, pouring down and gradually silencing our voices...
I don't know if what I did was right or wrong. I had no grudge against King Midan's male favorite, yet I harmed him twice. The first time was by threatening him to reveal the name of the leader of the slave rebellion, and the second time is now.
I felt guilty, which kept me up at night.
After returning to the palace, I sat by the window and listened to the rain all night without moving.
Early in the morning, I had breakfast with Bernard and Beatrice. Bernard sat down next to me, his fingers gently stroking my face. "I heard you didn't sleep a wink last night."
I moved my dining chair further away from him. "I can't sleep."
“People in high positions usually have too many worries, and insomnia is a common occurrence,” he said gently. “I do have some herbs that are very suitable for treating insomnia. But you are pregnant now, so I dare not give them to you lightly.”
"No need, it will be fine in a couple of days."
Beatrice listened to us talking, silently eating her food. After finishing two slices of bread, she nodded to us, then got up and left.
The dining room fell silent. Bernard suddenly said, "I've heard that the entire capital city is now under Queen Beatrice's rule. If you were to return here one day, how much power would you wield?"
"Why do you ask that?" I picked up a piece of bread.
"Will you stay in the North for a long time? If so, then this question doesn't exist. If not, you'll have to carefully consider how you'll establish yourself after you return."
"What do you mean by that?" The bread was at my lips, but I didn't eat it.
"The struggle for power has always been a bloodless affair," Bernard said with a smile.
“I will not contend with Beatrice; this royal city originally belonged to her mother.”
"Yes, but you are also her stepmother, the stepmother written on the marriage certificate. In this great city, if you wish, you can have at least half the power before her marriage."
"I don't have as many desires as you do."
"It's not about whether you have desires or not, but rather that you might be trapped in the situation."
Looking into Bernard's deep blue eyes, which seemed bottomless, I suddenly felt a sense of fear. I was afraid that the power struggle here was far beyond my ability and intelligence, and beyond my control.
“Mind your own business. You have a stepmother, a father, and a bunch of brothers.” I said this and left the dining room immediately.
I didn't see him for most of the day after that. The political situation in the Eastern Territory wasn't very stable, so even when he was out, he would be "working" all day, handling official documents, meeting with his bodyguards, and talking with some Western Territory nobles he was on good terms with. In short, he was very busy.
I didn't see him until dinner. Then, as I came out of the outdoor hot spring pool, I bumped into him. He had clearly been waiting for me outside the pool.
“I have to leave here tomorrow afternoon,” he said as he followed me. “The Crown Prince has been assassinated, my father wants to investigate thoroughly, and all the princes must return to their country.”
"Did you do this?" I turned around and asked him.
"No."
"Oh." I turned and continued walking towards the room, and he followed behind me. "Your current situation is not safe. Remember, no matter what you do, the most important thing is to protect yourself."
I laughed without turning around. "What's wrong with things?"
You underestimate the human heart.
"What's the point of rereading it? I'm not smart enough. Even if I could see through people's hearts, I wouldn't know how to deal with it."
"You're actually not a good fit for us here."
I turned around in surprise. "What do you mean?!"
“Survival on our continent is difficult, with numerous and complex races, and you, being in the upper echelons of the royal power, are subject to even more complex power struggles. You were just a female student before, how could you possibly adapt to our world?”
His blue eyes were deep and clear, like magical blue crystals, revealing a profound meaning that was hard to fathom.
“I regret it,” he said. “I regret bringing you here back then.”
I was stunned and didn't know how to respond for a moment.
His slender, pale fingers traced my chin. "Take care of yourself."
Back in my room, I sat alone by the fireplace, flipping through a document, but unable to concentrate. What did he mean? Was he implying I was in danger? I thought about it carefully; he must be referring to Beatrice, fearing she might harm me. He's overthinking it. I won't vie for power with her. What good would it do me to fight for the capital? I don't want to be queen.
The next day, after Bernard left, I began packing my bags. Since I didn't want to compete with Beatrice for power, I decided to leave voluntarily to avoid any misunderstandings. I don't know if it was just my imagination, but when I said I was leaving, a hint of relief appeared on Beatrice's face.
Before leaving, I went to see Haiya. Haiya was still locked up in the jail, but he was being well taken care of. Because he was still Beatrice's stepfather, Beatrice didn't dare to mistreat him, fearing it would damage her reputation. When he saw me, he cursed and swore at me, calling me a whore, a slut, and saying I'd been married several times and my genitals were practically rotten. I grabbed a bunch of rotten straw from the ground, shoved it into his mouth, and slapped him a few times.
He mumbled incoherently, seemingly cursing even more fiercely. I snatched the whip from the jailer's hand and lashed it several times until he finally stopped, and he even seemed to cry out.
On the day I left the West, it was raining heavily. Beatrice, wearing a waterproof hooded coat, saw me off. As I got into the carriage, I urged her to go back quickly.
She stood in the pouring rain and said, "Sister, I'm so grateful to you, really."
"Why are you suddenly saying this?" I asked in surprise from the carriage window, already on board.
“I remember a long time ago, in the prison in the Eastern Territory, you told me what rain was, what heaven and earth and all things were.” She seemed to speak suddenly, “Thank you, sister.”
"What's wrong?" Seeing that the rain was getting heavier, I shouted, "You should go back quickly, the rain is too heavy."
She stared at me for a while before slowly turning and leaving.
My carriage started and sped off towards the royal train station.
Five days later, I arrived at the Northern Border. Light snow of early winter fell gently on me. Manboya, wearing a white bearskin cloak, came to greet me. He looked like a celebrity, someone of the highest social standing. I, on the other hand, was dressed simply in a plain black hooded long coat. As soon as he saw me, he draped his white bearskin cloak over my shoulders.
You know what, when I put this super-luxury coat on, all the chill in my body vanished instantly.
"Aren't you cold?" I asked curiously, looking at him who was only wearing a thin white robe.
“I’m not afraid,” he laughed. “I’ve lived here since I was a child.”
He helped me into the carriage. “You’ve come back just in time. Yani and her stepmother’s wet nurse are leaving tomorrow. You should catch up with Yani one last time.”
"They haven't left yet?" I was quite surprised. I thought they had left long ago, since I had been gone for some time.
"No, we're negotiating a contract regarding the trade of bear paws, polar bear pelts, and Arctic wolf pelts from the North. We haven't been able to reach an agreement on the price, and they're not willing to give up easily, so the negotiations have been going on for a long time."
"So, was the deal reached?"
"It's settled, at my price." He took off my polar bear fur cloak again; the car was warm inside.
"Why did they agree again?"
“Because I’m too stubborn.” He nuzzled my shoulder and neck. “They can’t do anything about it.”
The journey had been quite tiring, and now that it was so warm in the car, his rambling became like a lullaby. My eyelids slowly grew heavy, I yawned, and actually fell asleep.
I slept for a long time, and when I woke up it was the next day. I was lying on my beautiful soft bed.
I was surprised to learn that she had slept for so long. I quickly got up and had just finished washing up when Princess Yanni and her stepmother's wet nurse, the old noblewoman, came in.
“We’re leaving this afternoon,” Princess Yanni said, yawning as she sat down on my sofa. “We stayed up all night last night.”
The old lady sat beside her, smiling at me. "I knew you had potential back then, otherwise I wouldn't have chosen you, who was just an illegitimate child, as my dowry maid."
I smiled, not knowing what to say.
“The Queen actually admires you quite a bit,” the old noblewoman said with a smile. “I hope to invite you to the Southern Territory next time, and perhaps we can become friends.”
Princess Yanni added with a smile, "We can also have more trade cooperation with the North."
I immediately understood that they hoped for preferential prices in the next trade cooperation and wanted my help.
“I also hope to have more collaborations,” I said with a smile.
Princess Yanni leaned against the sofa and looked at me. "This isn't just empty talk; it's a genuine collaboration, a collaboration at the best possible price."
"I can't help you right now; this isn't my area of expertise," I said.
“But you can try, and of course, I can also give you something useful.” Princess Yani’s eyes gleamed with cunning. “Although we didn’t reach an agreement last time, and you didn’t agree to persuade my stepmother not to let me remarry, we can still cooperate in other areas.”
The old lady complained, "Look at you, child! What woman doesn't get married?"
“I’m unlucky. I’ve married one man and divorced another. I’ve lost all face,” Princess Yani said, then suddenly threw her head back and laughed.
I recalled the scene from long ago when she was crying and making a scene in the bathroom in the North, as if she was dissatisfied with the status quo but helpless.
She was likely always controlled by her stepmother.
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