Chapter 17 The Fallen Phoenix: From Lord to Maid, a Journey No Less Than Falling from the Heavens…
After imitating for a while, the head maid came in carrying a fruit platter.
My eyes lit up when I saw the sliced apples. The head maid cautiously asked, "My lord, we just recruited a batch of maids today. Do you need any..."
“No,” I said, picking up a slice of apple before she could finish, “I don’t need any woman.”
What bothers me most right now is women. I'm afraid of being labeled as impotent, and where there are many women, there's bound to be gossip. I don't want to be caught up in palace intrigue all the time.
"Yes." The head maid obediently withdrew, and I let out a heavy sigh of relief.
As night fell, the roars of zombies echoed outside the castle. Oil lamps were lit in all the corridors, emitting a strange, warm, and soothing smoky aroma.
I yawned and pushed open the bedroom door. As soon as I collapsed onto the bed, a seductive fragrance enveloped me.
I jumped up in shock and yelled, "Didn't I tell you not to put women in my room..." Before I could finish the word "woman," I froze.
A handsome blond boy with delicate features was looking at me with a smile.
He had broad shoulders, a narrow waist, long arms, and stunningly beautiful long legs; even the fine hairs on his body seemed to glow in the candlelight.
It would be a lie to say I wasn't tempted. I'm just an ordinary woman, and I can be seduced by beauty.
He boldly put his arm around my neck and whispered intimately in my ear, "Are you satisfied with what you saw?"
"..."
It's actually a classic line from a romance novel.
Suddenly, the blond-haired boy touched my earlobe and gently bit it. A tingling, electric sensation sent a shiver through my body. In a panic, I kicked him, sending him flying off the bed.
I don't want a woman, but they actually found a man!
“I’m sorry, lord,” the handsome young man sobbed, covering his face. “I failed to win your favor.”
I took a deep breath. "Get out."
The handsome young man stood up, and the towel around his waist seemed to slip off unintentionally, falling to the ground and revealing his lower body. I was stunned—my God!
"My lord, do you like what you see?" His voice was surprisingly gentle.
"Get out! Get out!" I stammered and shouted again.
Although I haven't compared him to other men, I intuitively feel that this handsome young man's trump card is top-notch.
The handsome young man covered his face and ran out crying.
The door opened again a moment later, and I got impatient. "Didn't I tell you to leave?"
"My lord, I hope I can satisfy you." A trembling, unfamiliar male voice came from behind.
When I turned around, I was so shocked that my eyes widened.
A tall, muscular, sexy man wearing only a thong appeared in front of me, striking a pose with his butt sticking out.
Seeing him smugly reach for his pants, I yelled without a care for appearances, "Get out! Get out!"
The tough guy was so scared by my yelling that he ran out the door in a panic.
Hearing the commotion, the head maid rushed into the room, knelt before me with a mournful face, and said, "My lord, what type do you prefer?"
"What do you mean? Why did you send a man in?" I remembered my identity as a man.
“You said you don’t need any women, we thought you were starting to like men.”
"Bullshit," I snapped. "What I mean is I don't need anyone."
The head maid's face darkened further. "My lord, rumors are spreading throughout the castle that you haven't taken any concubines since you recovered, probably because you're impotent. Forgive my bluntness, but you should get treatment as soon as possible. If this gets to the capital, other princes will use it against you, and the king will take back your lands. The king won't allocate lands to a son who is incapable of...it means he has no heir."
I was stunned; I never imagined there would be such a problem.
My head is throbbing.
I haven't even held a boy's hand yet, and now I'm going to take the elevator straight to the top floor. I simply can't imagine it.
Moreover, I am still a man, and there is a different way for men to interact.
My God, I want to die.
***
Dark clouds loomed, the sky heavy with impending doom. Before sunset, the castle was already lit. The howls of the zombies seemed to be growing louder, but those inside appeared oblivious.
In a small room filled with rich fragrance, a charming beauty was applying makeup in front of a mirror, asking the maid behind her, "Has the lord summoned anyone tonight?"
After receiving a negative answer, the beautiful woman frowned. "Is it really not possible?"
“That’s possible,” the maid behind him said cautiously. “It’s said that even sending the most handsome man in the territory didn’t work.”
The beautiful woman threw down her eyebrow pencil in frustration, "I'm not doing it anymore."
"Miss Pei, you should go to bed early tonight." The maid then gestured to another maid standing by the door with her head bowed, to bring over a basin of water. "Lanna!"
The maid slowly picked up the basin of water and then took a towel, concealing her reluctance very well.
Because of her outstanding performance, she was assigned to the room of the lord's most favored mistress.
I really can't adapt. I'm extremely uncomfortable.
He used to be the master and his mistress the servant; now he is the servant and his mistress the master.
Worse still, he saw disgusting things he had never seen before.
He discovered for the first time that she actually washed her face with urine, believing that urine could make her skin smooth and shiny.
I also use lard to condition my hair before bed so that it will be easier to comb the next day.
He suddenly realized why she used to always spray herself with strong perfume, and why he always smelled strange odors other than perfume.
He placed the basin on the ground, squatted down, loosened his belt, and began to urinate openly—because his mistress believed that a virgin's urine was more effective. After being proven to be a virgin, he was required to urinate in her room every day.
He thus rose from a lowly maid to a personal maid.
However, she also incurred the jealousy of many maids, who tried to trip her up in various ways. But they couldn't make her "step down" because she was a virgin and only she could satisfy Miss Peregrine's requirements. In order to stay in the castle, they had already slept with the cook, baker, and other such people.
After urinating in front of everyone, he stood up nonchalantly. It wasn't his own body, so why was he being shy?
With his eyelashes slightly lowered, he watched with considerable interest as his charming mistress washed her face with his urine, over and over again, suppressing the urge to burst out laughing.
What followed was a complicated maintenance process: waist binding, corseting, buttock lifting, and leg binding. In order to create an excellent figure, the mistress wrapped her entire body tightly in thick white cloth, making her look like she was wrapped in a shroud at first glance.
He lowered the bed curtains, and his mistress, who was "bound hand and foot," rested. He doubted whether she could sleep like this.
He quietly slipped away with the other maids, then quickened his pace, carrying the chamber pot.
Even though it was my own urine, it still smelled bad.
He breathed a sigh of relief after emptying the urine.
***
He also began a strange life.
From lord to maid, she experienced the life of a lower class for the first time.
—Sleeping in a dormitory with a group of maids who smelled bad, snored, farted, ground their teeth, and talked in their sleep.
—Eat bread harder than stone and drink a few sips of cheap, poorly made wine.
—He went to the stinking public toilet, the entrance of which was much larger than his private toilet. Not only was the stench several times stronger, but he also almost fell into the latrine several times. It is said that someone once got stuck in the latrine, his body covered in stench, and because he couldn't wash himself clean, he was later expelled from the castle.
Even worse than the above is the chaotic relationships, with women frequently having affairs in the middle of the night.
They didn't care at all about the strange looks from others, and every time they made a scene, it kept everyone up all night.
The troublemaker was a large, imposing maid who was quite fierce in fights, so everyone dared not speak out against her.
Two days later, he put a special powder in the big man's water glass—a small packet of powder he had casually placed in a tree hollow in the garden years ago, which would cause the person to become completely paralyzed and weak. The big man became quiet from then on, lying in bed all day, and was kicked out of the castle three days later. The castle would never keep idlers.
He was cruel and cold-hearted, and never felt the slightest remorse for what he had done.
He ruled over all those who deliberately stepped on his feet, mocked him to his face, put laxatives in his water glass, and spoke ill of him behind his back.
Some fell down the stairs and broke their legs, some suffered from severe diarrhea, and some were caught red-handed stealing things, even though these habitual thieves had never been caught before.
More than half a month has passed, and none of the maids who offended him have had a good ending.
As time went by, he began to be isolated and regarded as a dangerous person by the maids.
He scoffed.
He was used to it; he wasn't the one who started the evil deeds, but he was always the one who ended up being branded with the bad reputation.
But gradually, he grew tired of it; these petty squabbles were utterly boring.
He wanted to get his body back as soon as possible, but he never had the chance.
Only when you fall to the bottom do you realize how difficult it is to climb up.
Let alone getting close to the "lord," even a fly would have a hard time getting close to the "lord."
There is a significant difference in rank among the castle maids.
The lord's maids were of the highest rank, and even the lowest-ranking lord's maids were on equal footing with the high-ranking maids of his mistresses. A high-ranking maid of a mistress was required to bow to a low-ranking lord's maid.
He is now a lowly maidservant to his mistress, and cannot even set foot in the lord's courtyard.
That night, when he returned to the dormitory, before he could even lie down, a rough, large hand grabbed his hair and "lifted" him out.
Yes, it's a carrying handle.
He didn't have much strength and couldn't resist, so he was just dragged out of the dormitory.
In the dim and damp corridor, he was dragged forward by two burly maids, their mouths stuffed with rags.
With a thud, he was thrown into a woodshed, the hard floor making him feel like he was going to vomit.
Damn, this body is too weak.
A note from the author:
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Please allow me to rest this weekend, and since fewer people watch on weekends, see you again on Monday~~ Mwah~~
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