Magnolia fragrance
The two jumped off the boat and after flying for a while, they arrived at the small town that Bai Roushuang saw on the boat.
The two of them landed in a town called Liuxian. Bai Roushuang took a deep breath. She had never set foot in this place since she was six years old.
It was just that in the first few years after she entered the brothel, she had told people over and over again: "My home is in Fengxian Village next to Liuxian Town. Please help me send a message back."
These people included guests of the brothel, servants serving there, farmers who delivered food to the kitchen every day, and even girls who were about to be redeemed.
Sometimes her panic-stricken behavior would be laughed at, sometimes she would be beaten by the old brothel owner who got the news, sometimes she would just wave her hand and refuse, and sometimes she would get a sympathetic look with the words "Don't you understand? Your family won't come to redeem you."
In fact, Bai Roushuang also understood it.
If he was willing to redeem her, he would not have sold her so easily.
But if we don’t have any thoughts, how can we live our lives?
So she lied to herself over and over again, thinking that her mother must have her own difficulties.
Sometimes in her dreams at midnight, she would question herself: even if her mother couldn't afford to support her, what difficulties could have come out that made her mother too lazy to even visit a few more cities and ask a few more wealthy families if they needed servants?
What kind of place is a brothel and what kind of experiences do the girls there encounter? How could the mother not understand?
"Can you still find that sugar painting shop?" Xu Shulou's voice interrupted her thoughts.
Bai Roushuang nodded, and she walked with ease to the place she remembered.
The two looked up and were somewhat surprised to find the words "Li Ji Sugar Painting" engraved on the slightly old plaque above the store.
Bai Roushuang bit her lip, and for a moment she seemed a little homesick and hesitated to move forward.
Xu Shulou took her hand and walked in first.
The old man sitting behind the counter had white hair and beard. When he saw the two of them, he asked kindly, "What kind of sugar paintings do you want, ladies?"
"Phoenix! No, butterfly," Bai Roushuang said, "No, rabbit!"
Xu Shulou smiled and said to the old man, "I want a phoenix, a butterfly, and a rabbit."
Bai Roushuang smiled shyly and stopped talking. To this day, she can afford all the sugar paintings in this store, but the warmth in her heart at this moment has nothing to do with money.
The old man smiled and said, "Okay."
Xu Shulou thought for a moment and said, "Give me another one with apricot blossom pattern."
The old man nodded and began to concentrate on painting with the syrup. His hands were steady, and soon the phoenix that Bai Roushuang wanted took shape.
As if she was back in her childhood, she lay outside the window, staring at everything, desperately sniffing the scent of the boiling sugar juice. Her mother thought she was embarrassing and often pulled her away by her ears.
"The phoenix is done." The old man glued a thin wooden stick, handed the solidified sugar painting to Bai Roushuang, and began to draw a butterfly for her.
Bai Roushuang held up the phoenix and admired it for a while before taking a small bite: "It tastes exactly as I imagined."
Xu Shulou's apricot blossoms soon bloomed, and she tasted them: "It really tastes good, no wonder you've been thinking about it for so long."
Seeing how much they liked it, especially Bai Roushuang's sincere happiness, the old man who made the sugar paintings couldn't help but laugh: "I have several kinds of pine nut candies and silk-wrapped candies in my shop. I'll make some for you to try. If you like them, come back again in the future."
Bai Roushuang carefully took the oil paper bag: "Thank you very much."
After leaving Li Ji Sugar Painting, Bai Roushuang couldn't help but stop and look back.
“It feels so good.”
"Um?"
"I don't know how to describe it, but I feel sad inside."
Xu Shulou laughed: "I understand."
The two passed by a tailor shop, and Bai Roushuang looked over: "I have some impression of this place too."
She still remembers that when she was six years old, her mother wanted to take her out. Seeing that her clothes were all tattered, she took out a piece of her own clothes and made her a skirt here. That was the first time she wore new clothes, and she was so happy. Who would have thought that her mother took her out that time just to sell her?
"..." Xu Shulou didn't ask any more questions and took her in. There were no particularly nice ready-made clothes in the tailor shop in this small town. Xu Shulou picked out one embroidered with big peony flowers. It was a bit fancy, but Bai Roushuang kept smiling happily after putting it on.
Xu Shulou even bought her a tiger-head hat that children often wear. Bai Roushuang looked extremely cute wearing the small hat with two ears and tilting her head blankly.
After leaving the tailor shop, Xu Shulou bought two bamboo tube rice dumplings on the street and they shared them. Bai Roushuang bit the red bean filling and smiled softly, "This can be considered a small specialty of Liuxian Town. It is sold all year round."
There was thick snow on the street. Some adults were pulling their children on a small cart tied with a rope. Both the adults and the children had smiles on their faces as they walked along the long street. The child's bell-like smile seemed to still linger in Bai Roushuang's ears, making her stop and look back subconsciously.
"Didn't you sit on it when you were a child?" Xu Shulou asked.
Bai Roushuang shook her head: "No."
"If you don't have any, come and try it." Xu Shulou pulled her over.
Bai Roushuang was a little embarrassed: "How old am I?"
"It doesn't matter how old you are. I promised to give you a relive your childhood. How can I do without this?"
Bai Roushuang smiled as she watched her senior sister rent a car and made a gesture of invitation to her.
She curled up her legs and squeezed herself into the cart, letting her senior sister pull her around in the snow. Xu Shulou had no experience, and sometimes he ran too fast and accidentally knocked her junior sister headfirst into the snow.
Bai Roushuang propped herself up, and threw a snowball at her with a smile. Xu Shulou was not to be outdone and quickly fought back. The two of them laughed and chatted, echoing throughout the long street.
After playing around for a while, Bai Roushuang returned the favor and motioned for her to get in the car so that she could pull it. Although Bai Roushuang had no experience, she was obviously much more skilled. She pulled her sister around the long street in the town, very steadily.
Xu Shulou was curled up in the cart. When he saw a stall selling frozen pears, he shook the rope pulling the cart, signaling his junior sister to stop.
Bai Roushuang understood, and soon brought back two black frozen pears. She smiled at her senior sister and said, "You really know how to enjoy food. You know best what is delicious in the folk."
Xu Shulou took a frozen pear with a smile and took a light bite. He felt it was cool and refreshing, and the fragrant juice of the pear instantly filled his mouth.
Bai Roushuang closed her eyes nostalgically: "It still tastes like when I was a kid."
"If you like, when we return to Mingyue Peak, we can freeze some every year," Xu Shulou began to look forward to it, "and frozen yellow peaches, frozen plums, frozen lychees..."
Bai Roushuang smiled and nodded: "Okay."
After eating the frozen pear, Xu Shulou played shuttlecock and spinning top with his junior sister. Bai Roushuang finally won with the help of her junior sister. She was a little surprised: "How come you are so good at these things?"
Xu Shulou raised her head proudly: "As a senior sister, you must be flawless in these aspects."
Bai Roushuang laughed. When they were tired from playing, they lay side by side in the snow. Xu Shulou asked, "Is there anywhere you want to go?"
Bai Roushuang thought for a moment and nodded, "There is a restaurant at the end of the street. When I was a kid, Uncle Wang from next door would send me there to play. Then I would take my mother there. I remember my mother brought me a few slices of roasted mutton once. It was so delicious that I ate a big piece of steamed bun with the mutton."
"Then lead the way."
This time, Bai Roushuang's steps were much lighter. They walked all the way to the end of the street and saw the restaurant on the street at a glance. It looked a little small and shabby, and there were some old oil stains on the table that had not been wiped clean.
"When I was a kid, I really longed for this place. I always hoped that my mother would take me with her when she came here," Bai Roushuang looked around, "I don't know if they changed the store or if my memory has beautified this place."
The two sat down at a small table by the window and ordered roast lamb and several other signature dishes.
The dishes were served quickly, and the mutton cooked in rich sauce was brought up quickly.
Bai Roushuang picked up a piece of steaming hot mutton and put it into her mouth: "Hmm, it is indeed the taste I remember."
Xu Shulou also tasted it but did not comment.
The shopkeeper at the side always stole a glance at Bai Roushuang, and she noticed: "What's going on?"
The shopkeeper said awkwardly: "I feel like you look familiar, young lady."
Bai Roushuang realized something: "My last name is Bai."
The shopkeeper suddenly realized: "There was a female customer who often came here. Her surname was also Bai. She always wore white clothes and she also loved to order this roasted lamb. I have a deep impression of her. Are you relatives?"
"…I guess so. Is she doing well?"
"It should be pretty good. I remember that after she got married, her husband often brought her to my place."
"Husband?" Bai Roushuang interrupted him.
"Yes, it was the man surnamed Wang. They were so in love with each other," the shopkeeper smiled naively. "But after a few years, she moved away with the man surnamed Wang. I don't know how she is doing now."
The last name is Wang, as expected... Bai Roushuang nodded: "Thank you for telling me, shopkeeper."
She was in a trance and seemed to need to talk, so Xu Shulou asked, "What kind of person is your mother?"
"She was a beauty," Bai Roushuang recalled, "her features were delicate, her figure was slender, she couldn't carry anything on her shoulders or lift anything with her hands. She was... a woman who couldn't live without someone to take care of her."
“…”
"As far as I can remember, Uncle Wang from next door has been taking care of my mother and me. I don't have much impression of my biological father. It is said that he is not a good person," Bai Roushuang shook her head. "My mother would cry to me occasionally and scold me for being heartless. Every time she scolded me like this, I was very scared, thinking that I had done something wrong, and then I would try twice as hard to please her. Later, I realized that she was just scolding my father through me."
“…”
"Mother is sometimes nice to me," Bai Roushuang said softly, "but sometimes she would look at me and say quietly that if it weren't for me, she wouldn't have to live this life."
“…”
"So, I probably shouldn't be surprised that she finally decided to sell me. In fact, if she really wanted to sell me off so that she could remarry, I can understand that," Bai Roushuang paused, "I just don't understand why she could be so heartless as to sell me to a brothel, or even to a rich family as a slave."
"Have you ever hated it?"
"I hated her before," Bai Roushuang admitted frankly. "When I first entered the building, I was thin and small, and I was not old enough to receive guests. But the madam naturally would not let me sit idle and eat for free, so she asked me to help with chores. I was not tactful at that time, and accidentally entered a room with guests. The guest thought I was disturbing the mood and kicked me hard in the stomach. I almost died that time."
“…”
"It hurt so much at that time. It hurt so much that I didn't even have the energy to cry," Bai Roushuang shook her head. "It was probably from that time that I first understood what hatred was."
“…”
"I once wanted to chase my mother for an answer," Bai Roushuang smiled. "The year the madam decided to let me receive customers, I climbed out from the third floor in the middle of the night at the risk of breaking my legs, just to ask her. Unfortunately, I was caught by the guards and beaten up. Sister Lan in the building was very surprised and asked me why I didn't give up. She said that even if she had her own reasons for selling you, she hadn't come to see you for so many years. Doesn't it mean that your mother has completely ignored you?"
“…”
"Now I am free, I can go find her and ask for an answer," Bai Roushuang looked out the window, "but it seems unnecessary to ask again. I feel that she will not give me a satisfactory answer anyway. Maybe she already has other children, maybe she will become a good mother, but that has nothing to do with me after all."
“…”
"Sister, I'm not ready to forgive her yet."
"You don't need to forgive her."
"Will that affect your Tao heart?"
Xu Shulou smiled and said, "The Tao heart is not calculated in this way. It is not that you have to force yourself to forgive those who have hurt you in order to have a harmonious Tao heart. Love, hate, anger, and ignorance, just let it be as it is."
"I understand," Bai Roushuang nodded, "I won't forgive her."
Xu Shulou raised his hand and touched her hair.
"Senior Sister, do you think she has ever regretted it?" Bai Roushuang suddenly asked.
"Is it important?"
Bai Roushuang thought for a moment and said, "You're right. It doesn't matter. Whether she feels guilty or justified, it has nothing to do with me."
“…”
"In fact, after I joined Wuchen Island, there was a period of time when I really wanted to show off to her that I was already an immortal cultivator. I kept thinking, if she knew that I had the talent to cultivate immortals, would she regret selling me out?"
Xu Shulou said softly: "It is her loss to lose you. She should regret it, not because you have the talent to cultivate immortality, but because you could have been the person in this world who cared about her the most and loved her the most."
A girl like Bai Roushuang is loyal and righteous, and knows how to repay kindness. If her mother is willing to raise her well, she will definitely be the most caring little cotton-padded jacket by her mother's side.
Hearing this, Bai Roushuang finally couldn't hold back her tears.
On the street, a vendor selling magnolia bracelets passed by. She looked over absentmindedly and said, "It turns out that this season has arrived again."
When she came back to her senses, Xu Shulou opposite her had disappeared at some point, and there was only an empty long bench opposite her.
"Senior sister?" Bai Roushuang poked her head out and looked around, trying to find her reliable senior sister who had disappeared.
Xu Shulou left quickly, but came back just as quickly, holding two magnolia bracelets in his hands and handing them to his junior sister: "For you."
Bai Roushuang sniffed: "How do you know I want this?"
"I don't know, I just want to make you happy." Xu Shulou carefully tied the bracelet on his junior sister's wrist. The white magnolia flowers bloomed beautifully, emitting a delicate fragrance on her wrist.
Bai Roushuang looked at her senior sister and was silent for a long time before she said softly, "I no longer need my mother's answer. She is just a part of my past, and I should have said goodbye to the past long ago."
“…”
"She was the most important person in my life for the first ten years of my life. Whether it was my childhood admiration or my later hatred, I always cared about her, but now it's not the case anymore, it's been a long time since then." The daughter who wanted revenge is no longer with us, and the daughter who wanted her mother to repent is also gone. Even if there is repentance, it is meaningless if it's delayed.
“…”
"Senior sister, you are my family."
“…”
"After entering the sect, I was loved and spoiled. The Bai Roushuang who came out of the brothel, full of panic and trying hard to please everyone, actually slowly disappeared after meeting you and everyone."
"I can see that," Xu Shulou looked at her, his eyes gradually filled with smiles, "I'm happy for you."
Bai Roushuang smiled and said, "I suddenly want to go back to the village."
The two left the restaurant and walked along the long street. They bought a portion of sugar-roasted chestnuts and ate them while walking. They soon arrived at the village where Bai Roushuang lived in her childhood.
Bai Roushuang looked at the old locust tree at the entrance of the village: "I still remember this place. In autumn, a large area of Impatiens flowers would bloom nearby. They were very beautiful. My mother always asked me to pick flowers for her to paint her nails."
"Can you still find your childhood home?"
"Okay, but you don't have to look for it. It's fine right here."
After she finished speaking, Bai Roushuang knelt down and kowtowed towards the direction of the village.
The aunties who were gathered chatting at the entrance of the village looked at her strangely, but she didn't care.
I kowtow once to thank you for giving me life; I kowtow twice to forget your indifference and ruthlessness; I kowtow three times to end the love between you and me as mother and daughter.
From now on, I no longer hate you, nor forgive you. We will just be strangers.
From then on, his mind became clear and he no longer had any concerns about family ties.
While bowing, she smelled the fresh fragrance of the magnolia flowers on her wrist, and her heart became extremely peaceful.
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