Chapter 122 It was destined to be his, I couldn't stop it, you don't love me...
Inside Xianliu Pavilion, the shimmering sunlight slanted through the carved windows and onto the round table.
Cuiwei poured tea for the two of them, then quietly retreated outside the door with the empty wooden tray, standing there waiting for orders.
Since the day they parted at the small courtyard, Yu Nie has not seen Xiao Chengyan for the past two days.
With the current situation between Nan Yin and Bei Ye tense and on the verge of war, the sudden visit of this prince, who had long resided in Jian'an, made her suspicious.
Was he there for personal reasons, or was he already aware of the impending war?
"I……"
"Cousin..."
Two voices rang out simultaneously in the room. Yu Nie stroked the rim of his cup and stopped talking first: "Cousin, you speak first."
"No." Xiao Chengyan placed his hands on his knees, sat upright, and rarely did he look so serious: "Qiqi, you go first."
She had originally wanted to test whether he knew about Nan Yin's plan to attack Bei Ye, but she changed her mind before she could finish her sentence.
She chuckled softly, "I don't have anything important to say, I just wanted to know if my cousin had something important to discuss with me since he suddenly came to see me today?"
Xiao Chengyan avoided her gaze for a moment, his palm unconsciously resting on the brocade on his knee, rubbing it back and forth.
“…Cousin?” He didn’t answer for a long time. She looked at his face with curiosity, her slender white neck involuntarily tilting forward slightly.
The aroma of tea wafted between the two, and Xiao Chengyan finally seemed to have made up his mind.
He knew he had to say it eventually. He glanced at her furtively, then quickly lowered his gaze, his Adam's apple bobbing, his voice tight: "This matter... this matter may seem abrupt, but after much thought, I know that if I don't say it now, I don't know when I'll have another chance."
Yu Nie felt that Xiao Chengyan was not as dashing as usual when he spoke; instead, he seemed to be stammering.
"To be honest, although I haven't known Qiqi for very long, ever since that day when I met you at the city gate... I don't know why, I always inexplicably think of your face."
He suddenly raised his head, his bright eyes gleaming with an unusually resolute light, and looked straight at her: "That day, I went to Yongxing Temple with you, and watched you kneel on the prayer mat to draw lots. I stood by the pillar in the hall, and suddenly I could no longer deceive myself. I couldn't help but think, if I were to get married in this life, it would definitely be..."
At this point, he seemed to have mustered a great deal of courage, his clear and affectionate eyes burning with passion: "I must marry you, Qiqi."
The moment he uttered his last word, a storm surged in Yu Nie's eyes. All his expressions seemed to be frozen in place, and he was completely still, even his breathing seemed to stop.
"lush……"
The emotions that had been suppressed for many days burst forth like a flood, and Xiao Chengyan suddenly reached out and grabbed her hands with astonishing force, leaving her no room to pull away.
"Give me a moment, just a moment." His voice trembled slightly, and his tone was earnest: "Please, let me finish what I have to say."
Without waiting for her response, perhaps too impatient to wait, he hastily poured out all the words he had kept hidden in his heart.
"I know you may never have liked me. But even so, could you... could you give me a chance? Even just the smallest chance, I'd be willing to do anything."
His speech grew increasingly rapid, each word carrying an undeniable firmness: "I will prove to you that I am in no way inferior to Huan Xun. What he can give you, I will offer double. What he cannot give, I can still present to you with both hands. Being my queen will be no less than being the wife of the Crown Prince's tutor and the Vice Minister of the Imperial Secretariat."
Finally, he took a deep breath, tightening his grip on her hand: "I can dedicate my entire life to you. Qiqi, will you marry me?"
A distinct pain shot through my wrist, which was being gripped tightly.
The shock in Yu Nie's eyes was quickly replaced by an undisguised apology: "Cousin, loosen your grip a little..."
He didn't move. She forcefully pulled her hand back, lowering her eyes to avoid his suddenly dimmed gaze: "I'm sorry, cousin, I really can't agree to that."
She stood up, creating a barrier between them: "My cousin deserves the best woman in the world, but that person shouldn't be me."
She turned her head to the side: "I will take what my cousin said today as a momentary impulse and will not take it to heart."
"But this wasn't an impulsive act."
He moved behind her, gazing at her back, clenching his fist, his heart filled with painful bitterness.
He let out a long sigh and reluctantly revealed the truth he didn't want to admit: "Qiqi said that because of... Huan Xun?"
"Is it because of Huan Xun?" This short sentence was like a wake-up call, and her back stiffened.
Before she could speak, Xiao Chengyan turned and paced around the room: "Before coming here, I went to see him. I told him that no matter what, I must ask the Emperor for your hand in marriage."
"What did he say?" he suddenly asked.
Yu Nie's lips moved, and after a moment, he uttered three syllables: "How so?"
Xiao Chengyan stopped in his tracks: "He told me that you were destined to stay by his side, and that I shouldn't waste my efforts."
Thinking of the scene at Jiheng Mansion, Xiao Chengyan laughed as if mocking himself: "If others said such things, they would be considered annoying and arrogant, but when he said it, I even felt that it was the right thing to do."
"But what makes him so sure? So certain that you will belong to him?"
He strode up to her, turned her body so she faced him, and said, "I want to know your answer, Qiqi. Do you really like him? Do you want to spend your life with him? You really... won't even give me the slightest chance?"
A muffled thud came from the doorway, like the sound of a heavy object falling to the ground.
Xiao Chengyan and Yu Nie turned around at the same time to look in the direction of the sound, only to see Hua Ruo standing by the door, her eyes filled with tears and her eyes red as she looked at them.
She bit her lip hard, her gaze lingered on them for a moment, then she turned and ran away, lifting her skirt.
Left behind, Hua Shu glanced at them anxiously and hurriedly chased after them, calling out, "Hua Ruo..."
Seeing this, Yu Nie immediately urged Xiao Chengyan to give chase.
Even the most obtuse person could see Hua Ruo's feelings for him at this moment.
Xiao Chengyan, however, stared at the door, motionless.
She wanted to chase after him, but he stopped her.
He said, "No need."
Yu Nie asked anxiously, "Why? Can't you see that Hua Ruo likes you?"
“Of course I know she likes me,” he said, “but I rejected her long ago and only see her as a cousin.”
"That way, it's good for her to give up on the idea." He sighed. "I never had any feelings for her in the first place. Seeing all this, it's not a bad thing for her to give up sooner."
After a moment of silence, he gazed at her intently, then suddenly looked up and laughed.
"You say it's not a bad thing to let others give up sooner, but didn't I also want to force your love?"
Yu Nie didn't know how to answer. He had treated her well, even disregarding his own status, openly challenging the Li family and even entering their home to beat Li Yunsheng.
His sensitive identity is not a good thing for him.
Seeing his dejected expression, she could only offer him one piece of advice that would benefit him: "Leave Jian'an, cousin."
He looked down at her, as if he hadn't heard her clearly: "What?"
She turned her head and looked out the window: "Leaving Jian'an is a good thing for you."
"Now that the world is in turmoil and there is no peace in any direction, it is no longer as safe for you to stay in Jian'an as the prince of Nan Yin."
She said this from a practical safety perspective, so it shouldn't arouse suspicion.
Xiao Chengyan did not think of anything else, and was unaware that the news that his elder brother Xiao Daozun was about to launch a northern expedition had been discovered by Yan Yue's spies.
He will soon set off back to Nanyin.
Xiao Daozun was right. He was not only the great-grandson of the Empress Dowager, but also a prince of Nan Yin, bearing the responsibility of revitalizing the nation.
If he stayed in Jian'an, there would only be two outcomes: either Zhao Yunfu would use it as leverage against his brother, or he would be killed as a sacrifice to the flag.
Unaware of his other thoughts, Yu Nie turned her gaze back to him: "So go back, cousin. This is the best ending for you."
She said, "You are kind-hearted; perhaps if you go back, you can prevent some things from happening."
This might also be her own selfish desire, placing her hopes on Xiao Daozun to persuade him not to launch the Northern Expedition.
Of all these people right now, who is more capable and more qualified for this position than him?
Upon hearing this, Xiao Chengyan vaguely understood the meaning behind her words.
But it wasn't that his brother's decision had been exposed; rather, it was that the news of the Southern Yin's Northern Expedition would circulate in Jian'an every so often.
Just like in the territory of Nan Yin, every now and then, people would say that Bei Ye was going to move south.
With the world in turmoil and the war raging in the north, everyone is wondering if their Southern Yin Kingdom might take the opportunity to launch a northern expedition.
After listening to her words, he said, "Does Qiqi hope that I won't let my brother attack Beiye as rumored?"
She replied, "I just don't want the people of both countries to be engulfed in war."
"Once war breaks out, countless lives will be buried on the battlefield. Do you know how many people have died in the northern border region since the war began?"
Yu Nie: "If we have the ability, why don't we stop the chaos from coming and prevent the people from suffering?"
Xiao Chengyan acted as if he was just meeting her, saying, "When did Qiqi become so concerned about world affairs? I've never seen you like this before."
“I was too late to care.” She moved her feet and said, “People only feel the pain when a knife cuts them after a lot of things have happened. If I hadn’t thought about protecting myself back then, perhaps things wouldn’t have come to this point.”
Xiao Chengyan gazed at her back. He thought of the fallen leaves that refused to fall to the ground in autumn, the green bamboo that was washed back and forth in the rainstorm, and the willow branches that seemed weak but were actually full of resilience.
Even when it is worn down, it remains steadfast and unyielding.
He understood the meaning behind her words and replied, "But the wounds of this world cannot be healed by one person alone."
She suddenly turned around and looked directly at him: "Even if one person's strength cannot turn the tide, even if there is no shortage of mayflies trying to shake a tree in this world, we cannot do without mayflies trying to shake a tree."
Her words were calm, but Xiao Chengyan saw a color he had never seen before in her eyes, like a burning fire.
At that moment, he realized that there was actually a vast chasm between them.
Those moments when he seemed so close to her were actually always far away.
He gazed at her for a long time and said, "There are some things that neither of us can stop."
He swallowed twice: "It's like, I can't stop you from loving me, and I can't stop anything else."
After saying that, before Yu Nie could speak, he glanced at him again and then walked away.
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