Chapter 135 I'm leaving first. There's no need to take all the blame upon yourself…
Having traveled a great distance, Yu Nie rushed back without stopping, lifting her skirts as she ran wildly straight to Xianliu Pavilion.
Everyone in Hongzheng Pavilion had never seen the princess so unconcerned about her image before, and they were also surprised as to who the princess was in such a hurry to see, so they all cast questioning glances at her.
Song Ai and Cuiwei jogged behind her, repeatedly reminding her to watch her step and slow down.
Yu Nie didn't care about anything else. She rushed to the courtyard in front of Xianliu Pavilion. As soon as she saw that familiar figure, tears welled up in her eyes without warning.
She rushed across the threshold, calling out, "Master, Martial Uncle..."
She stepped across the threshold in two quick strides, her voice broken and intermittent with sobs.
Just to be on the safe side, Song Ai calmly dismissed everyone inside and outside the pavilion.
In an instant, only the four of them remained in Xianliu Pavilion.
A familiar voice reached Cui Miaochang's ears. She turned around upon hearing it.
Yu Nie saw that the person in front of him was completely different from the spirited and serious senior uncle he remembered from Lingbao Temple.
At this moment, Cui Miaochang's face was withered and weathered, her cheeks were sunken, and her Taoist robe was washed until it was faded and patched at the cuffs, which could not hide the dust and grime of her journey. It was clear that they had endured a long and arduous journey.
After sending the letter informing her of Ah Hui's wrongful death, Yu Nie had imagined what it would be like when they met. When she saw Cui Miaochang in this state, her nose stung, and her chest tightened, making it hard to breathe.
She hurried forward and grasped Cui Miaochang's hand tightly.
"Uncle-Master..." her voice trembled, "How...how did you get into this state? Did you encounter robbers on the road?"
Upon careful calculation, she realized that Cui Miaochang had arrived several days later than expected, and a sharp sense of unease and guilt welled up in her heart.
He had been worried about her and Aunt Liu's safety. After the Gao and Li families were imprisoned, Yu Nie sent people out to look for them, but they could not find any trace of them.
Seeing her former little apprentice transformed beyond recognition, adorned with gold, silver, and jade, and dressed in an expensive gown, she truly realized that what Lang Xi and the others had said in their previous letter was all true.
The idea that the young apprentice was forced to become a stand-in princess is utterly absurd.
But the facts were undeniable, leaving her no choice but to admit it.
Cui Miaochang shook his head with a sorrowful look in his eyes and complicated feelings: "It's not because of the robbers. Except when we left Dingzhou, we encountered a rebel army that said they wanted to 'purge the emperor's inner circle,' we were mostly safe."
"Perhaps because she had helped some beggars and refugees along the way, Aunt Liu caught a cold when she arrived at Zongbie Pass. She was sick for several days and couldn't get out of bed. The money we left for the journey was eventually used up, which is why we ended up in this miserable state."
Yu Nie then realized that Aunt Liu had not come along, and hurriedly asked, "Where is Aunt Liu now? Is she much better?"
Cui Miaochang replied, "She's feeling much better now. Before coming here, I told her to wait at the inn while I came to check on her."
Having recounted the ins and outs of their journey, it's time to discuss the purpose of their trip.
Cui Miaochang looked behind her, but saw neither Langxi nor Ahui.
.
She couldn't sleep at night during the journey, hoping that everything in the letter was a lie, a joke they were playing on her.
At this moment, after waiting for a long time without seeing Ah Hui come, the last glimmer of hope in her heart had completely vanished.
What was bound to happen would eventually happen. She took a deep breath and asked first, "Where is Langxi now?"
Upon hearing this, she was slightly taken aback.
What she and Langxi were doing at this moment was tantamount to walking on the edge of a cliff; one wrong step would mean utter ruin.
Even though she desperately wanted to tell them everything, she couldn't. She and Langxi would never drag them into this bloody vortex, no matter what.
In a flash, a thousand thoughts raced through her mind. She kept her voice steady and gave the excuse that she and Lang Xi had repeatedly discussed: "Junior Sister... sent Brother Xu back to his hometown."
Cui Miaochang: "Xu Jingyang is not serving in Jian'an, so why does Langxi need to escort him home?" After saying this, an uneasy feeling arose in her heart.
Xu Jingyang's story could no longer be kept secret. After a moment's pause, Yu Nie could only tell the story of his death: "Brother Xu... was executed by the Emperor. My junior sister personally sent his ashes back to his hometown. Before leaving, she only said that the return date was uncertain and she didn't know when she would be able to come back."
Her words were half true and half false; Xu Jingyang's death was true, but sending his ashes was a lie.
She knew that only real pain could make a lie seem believable.
Finally, she said she didn't know when Langxi would return, and that she had added it at the last minute. Langxi was currently trapped in the palace and unlikely to leave anytime soon, so she could only use this excuse to appease Cui Miaochang and prevent her from becoming suspicious.
Upon hearing that Xu Jingyang had been ordered to commit suicide by the emperor, Cui Miaochang was struck dumb and could not utter a word for a long time.
Seeing this, Yu Nie could only explain to her in detail the specific reasons for his death.
Upon learning that Xu Jingyang had died for the greater good, Cui Miaochang felt an indescribable sorrow and lament. Tragic was that Xu Jingyang, with his passionate spirit, had met such an end.
What's admirable is that he adhered to the right path, possessed unwavering integrity, and was truly worthy of respect.
But within this lament lies an even deeper, heart-wrenching pain.
Xu Jingyang is gone, what will become of Langxi?
In her eyes, Xu Jingyang was her beloved student's fiancé.
In her eyes, the two children were childhood sweethearts and shared a deep bond.
Moreover, Langxi will soon be able to completely return to secular life, marry Xu Jingyang, and live the life they have longed for.
Before the wedding invitations even arrived, the bad news came first. How could Langxi bear this?
Thinking that Langxi was all alone at this moment, escorting his lover's ashes on his journey home.
Cui Miaochang, as the master, felt as if her heart was being gripped tightly.
She knew how heartbroken her extremely affectionate disciple must be at this moment.
Looking at her expression, Yu Nie understood that after telling Lang Xi about it, it was time to talk about A Hui.
This is a topic that they cannot avoid.
Suddenly, with a "thud," she knelt down.
Song Ai and Cuiwei immediately knelt down as well.
She lowered her head, suppressing the sobs in her throat, and confessed, "It was my fault, Uncle-Master. Because of me, my junior brother lost his life. If you wish to punish me, I will obey your orders."
After she finished speaking, she kowtowed deeply.
She had already clearly written about Ahui's matter in a secret letter, using Langxi's voice. To prevent her true identity from being discovered, she couldn't write it in her own name.
Cui Miaochang had read that letter hundreds of times on her way here, and she knew all too well what Ah Hui had encountered in Jian'an.
How could she possibly accept the fact that her disciple, who was perfectly healthy before leaving the temple, was now separated from her by death?
Cui Miaochang looked down at Yu Nie kneeling before her, her eyes filled with indescribable pain.
She finally closed her eyes, as if trying to seal all the pain inside.
She didn't know how much time had passed before she slowly opened her eyes, her gaze now calm and serene, having forcibly suppressed the soreness in her chest.
She let out a long, heavy sigh. Then, she bent down and helped Yu Nie up.
"Get up," she said. "Your old uncle can still see right from wrong clearly with his old eyes."
She gazed at Yu Nie's tear-streaked face and said, word by word, "Your junior brother's life was taken by those powerful and influential people. They should be held accountable. You should never have to bear this responsibility. Don't try to take the blame on yourself anymore."
"Uncle-Master..." Yu Nie called out this title she hadn't used in a long time, and tears streamed down her cheeks.
Even if Cui Miaochang didn't blame her, she couldn't forgive herself.
Cui Miaochang wiped away her tears and forced a smile. She, who was usually stern, rarely showed such an expression or made such a gesture.
“Let’s take Uncle-Master to see that kid Ah Hui…” she said. “Aunt Liu borrowed the inn’s kitchen and made his favorite fried cakes. I’ll take them to him to try.”
Yu Nie glanced at the food on the table; there was clearly more than one item. Suppressing her heartache, she nodded: "Okay."
*
Ah Hui's grave is in the suburbs, more than half an hour away.
Before heading to the cemetery, they bought paper money for burning, then went to the inn to pick up Aunt Liu.
When Aunt Liu met Yu Nie, she cried and laughed at the same time. The two hugged each other, and Aunt Liu felt as if she was holding her daughter who had been lost and found again, feeling both relieved and heartbroken.
The group arrived together at Ah Hui's grave. The sun, which had been shining brightly at midday, was now mostly hidden behind the clouds.
Standing before the grave, Cui Miaochang stroked the words on the tombstone, and finally couldn't hold back her tears.
Before she entered Lingbao Temple, she traveled all over the country alone. When facing life and death, she never cried. When the knife was held to her neck, she didn't shed a single tear.
But at this moment, facing her apprentice's tombstone, she burst into tears.
The greatest pain in the world is for a parent to outlive their child.
Yu Nie was burning paper nearby, and the sparks floated into the air and instantly turned to ash.
Seeing the trembling lips of the usually strong Cui Miaochang, she felt a pang of heartache.
Aunt Liu cried so hard she fainted, so she had to send someone to put Aunt Liu in a carriage to rest.
Cui Miaochang wiped the tombstone again and again, muttering, "I was looking forward to drinking your wedding wine in the future, and waiting for you to wipe my tombstone. Now, you've made me do this for you. Tell me, what kind of thing is this?"
After saying that, she moved her throat dryly and said, "Forget it, forget it. I won't hold it against you. You should rest for now. I'll settle the score with you when we get there a hundred years from now."
After burning the paper money and standing behind, Yu Nie heard these words and burst into tears.
Cui Miaochang moved the fried cakes and other snacks she had brought forward and arranged them neatly.
She gazed at the tombstone: "Wait, your teacher will pick a good day and take you back to Huaiyuan."
In Yu Nie's blurred vision, Cui Miaochang slowly got up and took out one ritual implement after another from her bag.
He took a step and performed a simple ritual for Ahui on the spot.
She had performed this ceremony hundreds of times, familiar with the scriptures and skilled in the movements, but she never imagined that one day she would perform this final farewell for her beloved disciple.
As the last verse faded into the air, all that remained was a profound silence.
After a long while, Cui Miaochang put away the peach wood sword. She walked over and stroked the cold tombstone again, just like many years ago when Ahui first entered Lingbao Temple and stroked his tender head.
She gazed deeply at the tombstone, knowing that grief was futile; she had more important things to do.
She turned around, her voice regaining its usual stern calm, and said to Yu Nie, "Let's go."
Yu Nie didn't speak, but nodded.
Before leaving, the two looked at Ah Hui's grave one last time.
“Ah regret…”
Cui Miaochang seemed reluctant to leave. He patted the tombstone and said, just as he had at Lingbao Temple, "Your master is leaving first."
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