Chapter 179 Don't abandon me. He, who has never believed in gods or Buddhas, so desperately hopes...
Upon hearing the shout, surprise flashed across Huan Xun's usually cold and stern face.
Yu Nie, who should be in his tent at this moment, is here.
There is no doubt that his plan went wrong.
Yu Nie ran towards him, followed closely by Cui Wei and Xie Cheng.
And then, when he saw another figure clearly, his eyes flickered.
Lord Dugu Lou?
Why is she here?
Unbeknownst to him, after learning of the invention of gunpowder, Dugu Loujun had been secretly approaching Yu Nie, and had been hiding among the medical team all this time.
It was because of her presence that Yu Nie was able to break free from the effects of the medicine and arrive at full speed.
Countless questions flooded his mind, but at this moment, Huan Xun had no time to think about them, as Yu Nie had already rushed in front of him.
Her plain dress was stained with dust, her hair was disheveled, and her usually calm and gentle face was deathly pale. Only her eyes, filled with an almost desperate plea, were fixed on him.
"Huan Xun!" she gasped, pressing down on his hand holding the knife. "No! You can't kill him! He's just a child, he's innocent!"
She felt his taut arms, which held a power strong enough to tear everything apart.
She did not back down, making it clear that she would use her own strength to stop this tragedy.
Huan Xun did not sheath his sword, but simply lowered his gaze.
"Innocent?" He couldn't accept using such words to describe the descendants of the Xiao family: "The bloodline of the Xiao family, do they deserve to be called innocent? Twelve years ago, did Xiao Daozun show any mercy to those children of the Red Falcon Clan because they were innocent?"
His words were as cold as a blade, making her palms tremble.
She understood that the blood feud that had been etched into his bones over the years, and she understood the hatred and pain that had never ceased to surge beneath his old scars.
However, understanding does not equate to indulgence.
Even though the path ahead was one of revenge he was determined to embark on, she could not stand by and watch him walk step by step into an abyss of no return.
Yu Nie shook his head urgently: "I know Xiao Daozun deserves to die, I know you hate him, but the wronged have their culprits and the debtors have their debtors. It was Xiao Daozun who ordered the massacre and whose hands were stained with blood. It is only right for you to kill him. I will never plead for him."
She pointed at the young prince, then glanced at the trembling princesses, the ashen-faced empress, and the Xiao family members standing to the side.
"But these people did not participate in the atrocities of that year. They don't even know why Xiao Daozun's crimes should be borne by these ignorant and powerless people. Does your revenge have to be like his, not even sparing children?"
"Same."
Huan Xun repeated these two words, his eyes becoming even more bloodshot.
He stepped closer: "How can this be considered the same? Xiao Daozun was the perpetrator back then, and today, I'm here to settle this blood debt. I want Xiao Daozun to watch with his own eyes how everything he cares about will vanish before his very eyes. This is the debt he owes, this is what he should repay, this is the justice of heaven!"
He tried to sever her pity for the Xiao family with these words.
His underlying logic is the survival rule of eliminating all traces of the enemy, and the obsession that blood feuds must be washed away with blood.
These words did not throw her off balance. Her determination to pull him out of the abyss was firm: "When will this cycle of justice end? Today you kill his offspring, but in the future, can his former subordinates use the same reason to kill our offspring?"
“Hatred only breeds new hatred. If you slaughter all the Xiao family members here today without distinguishing right from wrong, you will be no different in essence from the person you hated back then.”
She took his hand, trying to pierce his heart, which was shrouded in layers of hatred.
“You are using his sins to defile your own hands.” Tears finally streamed down her face, dripping onto the back of his hand, burning him. “I don’t want you to become like him.”
Her pleas, her tears, the firm touch of her on his arm, the piercing screams in his mind, and Xiao Daozun's arrogant and cruel face all clashed and intertwined wildly.
The blade in his hand was clearly visible in the dim light, and all eyes in the room were focused on them.
The members of the Xiao royal family were hoping he would spare them, as if they were awaiting a verdict.
The destruction of their country was already a punishment for them; they did not want to be killed as well.
Dugu Loujun, who had been standing quietly to the side, slowly stepped forward and called him as before: "Zijing".
She was over forty, and her weathered face carried a calm that seemed to have seen through the ways of the world. Following Yu Nie's words, she advised him: "No one has the right to tell you to let go of your hatred."
“I am well aware that Xiao Daozun’s sins are grave and he could not atone for them even if he were to die ten thousand times. Your killing him today is the natural order of things and is justified.”
Her voice carried a sense of vicissitude: "But Zijing, the end of hatred will make you lose yourself. Ask those people of the Red Falcon Clan, do they want to see you with your hands stained with blood? If they have a spirit in heaven, will they feel happy about what you have done?"
Dugu Loujun: "The eagle's talons are used to tear apart enemies, not to trample on the chicks in the nest. True strength lies in punishing the culprit, not in slaughtering the powerless weak. This is not mercy, but humanity. Humans cannot lose their humanity."
Almost simultaneously, Cuiwei also cried out urgently, "Prince Consort, the princess is right. It is only right to take revenge, but we cannot let hatred blind us and make us forget our true selves."
The three of them chatted amongst themselves, while Fan Tian, Guan Zheng, and the others exchanged glances, pondering whether to advise him or let him vent his anger.
He listened to Dugu Loujun's words, to Cuiwei's tearful cry of "my true heart," and to the words of advice from his beloved.
They were urging him to hold onto his "humanity," but the meaning of his life was precisely to avenge the blood debts owed to those who had given him "humanity."
He remained silent, standing frozen.
Fan Tian and Guan Zheng held their breath, not fully aware of his connection with the Crimson Falcon Clan, only knowing that Xiao Daozun had killed his benefactor.
For a long, long time.
It was so long that Yu Nie was about to run out of strength to hold down his arm.
Finally, he spoke: "The Crimson Falcon Clan owes me a debt of gratitude as heavy as a mountain. Without them, I would have long been a pile of withered bones in the deep mountains."
"This grudge is a matter of righteousness, and it cannot go unpunished."
These words were meant for everyone, but even more so for himself, to strengthen his resolve.
“What you say makes sense,” he said. “It was Xiao Daozun who destroyed the Crimson Falcon Clan, not these ignorant children.”
“If I were to slaughter these defenseless children in the name of revenge today, how would I face those who once sheltered me in the afterlife?”
“My hand.” He twisted his wrist holding the knife, the blade flashing. “Indeed, the name of my benefactor should not be stained with the mark of indiscriminate killing.”
Upon hearing his words, Yu Nie's tense heartstrings suddenly relaxed, and a great mix of sorrow and relief welled up in her heart.
She understood that for Huan Xun, who valued gratitude above all else, this was the greatest breakthrough and concession he could make to his own beliefs.
Her eyes lit up, thinking he was going to listen to her.
However, just as the atmosphere eased, Huan Xun's gaze suddenly turned to Xiao Daozun, who was lying in a pool of blood. The overwhelming hatred he had just suppressed, based on gratitude and loyalty, surged out again, even more intense than before.
He flicked his wrist, the tip of the knife slicing through the air: "But this grudge is not just my personal grudge, Huan Xun's personal grudge. It is a blood debt that the entire Red Falcon Clan is demanding from Xiao the traitor. When they died tragically, no one spoke of humanity to them. Why should I speak of humanity to my enemy today?"
“In my life, Huan Xun, I will repay every kindness and avenge every grudge. The Red Falcon clan saved my life. If I do not avenge this debt, I will have no face to stand between heaven and earth and will not be worthy of being a human being.”
"Today I slaughtered the Xiao family not because I am bloodthirsty, but because this is my way. If I cannot even avenge my benefactor, how can I be a person without faith and righteousness?"
He raised the blade in his hand again, this time targeting the young prince who was so frightened he forgot to cry.
Seeing this, Yu Nie grabbed his arm.
“I understand your morality, but your morality is turning you into a second Xiao Daozun.”
"The blood of the Red Falcon Clan is blood, and the blood of the women and children of the Xiao Clan's collateral branches is also blood. Don't use one massacre to commemorate another."
"If morality can only be achieved through violence, then it will eventually be devoured by violence itself."
With tears in her eyes, she pleaded with him: "My husband, the path of revenge has no end. The cause you sow today will be the fruit we will be forced to taste tomorrow. Don't create another 'Xiao Daozun' for our future children."
“It’s not the same! It’s completely different!” His eyes were bloodshot, and his voice was filled with endless pain: “Xiao Daozun slaughtered his benefactor for his own selfish desires, while I am atoning for my blood debt. If even these can be confused, then there is no justice in the world.”
His voice was hoarse: "Qiqi, don't use kindness to confuse justice."
Yu Nie burst into tears; seeing his pain, her own heart ached as well.
She knew everything he was carrying, and that's why she couldn't bear to watch him fall into the abyss.
She smiled sadly: "If justice requires the blood of a child to pay homage, then it is not justice."
Listening to her words, he knew they could never reach an agreement.
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and when he opened them again, only a cold resolve remained.
He couldn't be soft-hearted; he had to keep going.
"Xie Cheng!" he shouted sternly, "Take the princess away!"
Xie Cheng, who had been tense all along, shuddered, a struggle flashing across his face. But military orders were absolute, and he could only grit his teeth and step forward: "Princess, please forgive me." He reached out to pull Yu Nie away.
The moment Xie Cheng touched her arm, a resolute glint flashed in Yu Nie's eyes.
She pulled a dagger from her sleeve, which she always carried close to her body. With a flash of cold light, the sharp blade pressed against her neck.
Xie Cheng was startled and quickly advised her, "Princess, you must not act rashly!"
Cuiwei and Dugu Loujun were also terrified.
Everyone present, including Xiao Chengyan, struggled to get up, shouting her name, trying to stop her.
Yu Nie couldn't hear what anyone else was saying.
All the noisy charlatans vanished at that moment, and she saw only him.
The blade pressed against the skin of her neck as she slowly spoke, "Release them, or I'll die right in front of you."
Watching her actions, Huan Xun's chilling aura shattered instantly.
He saw a resolute determination, as if everything would perish, filling her usually charming eyes.
His voice trembled more than ever before: "Qiqi, put the knife down."
"Let them go." Tears streamed down her face. "My husband, I beg you, release these innocent members of the Xiao family. Otherwise, I will give my life to save them." As she spoke, she tightened her wrist, and a clear bloodstain immediately appeared, a line of blood winding down her neck.
"No, no..." Huan Xun murmured, staring at the glaring red, his head buzzing as if it were about to explode. Looking into her resolute eyes, he knew she was truly capable of doing it.
Just then, Xiao Daozun, lying in a pool of blood, chuckled softly for some unknown reason. His laughter was hoarse, eerie, and full of mockery, but no one present paid him any attention.
Yu Nie completely ignored the laughter; she simply looked at Huan Xun, at the pain and struggle in his eyes that seemed to be devouring him.
"Let them go." She exerted force again, and beads of blood slid down her neck, staining her plain collar red.
As he watched the blood seeping from her neck, countless images flashed through Huan Xun's mind: screams amidst the raging flames, his elder sister who had named him, scattered limbs, and his clansmen with arrows embedded in their backs.
Thick, warm blood blurred his vision and filled his mouth and nose. Through the gaps between the corpses, he barely clung to life and saw Xiao Daozun sitting atop a tall horse, overlooking the hell on earth that he had created.
All the images intertwined, and immense pain nearly overwhelmed him; he felt as if he were being completely torn apart.
He gritted his teeth, letting out a trapped beast-like whimper, the knife in his hand, a symbol of revenge and gratitude, seemed to weigh a ton.
He closed his eyes, and a hot tear slid down from the corner of his reddened eye.
Watching this scene, Yu Nie felt a sharp pain in his heart and could hardly breathe.
"Ugh—"
A roar, no longer one of pain, but one of extreme hatred and disgust, burst forth from his chest.
He loathed the knife that forced him to choose between gratitude and love.
The next moment, to everyone's astonishment, he used all his strength to throw the knife away with a fierce and resolute motion.
The long sword slammed into the ground with a piercing sound, then tumbled and slid a long distance away.
The moment the knife left his hand, Huan Xun seemed to have all his strength drained away, and his tall body swayed.
Dugu Loujun and the others breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing this.
Much later, Huan Xun stopped looking at the knife and turned to Yu Nie.
He lost.
He lost to the love for her that he could never completely extinguish deep within his heart, and the last trace of compassion for innocent lives that she awakened with her life, a compassion that perhaps even he himself was unwilling to admit.
The open space in front of the main hall was deathly silent, with only Xiao Daozun's intermittent and eerie low laughter remaining.
Yu Nie looked at him, tears instantly blurring her vision; her heart ached so much she could hardly breathe.
She knew that he hadn't just thrown away a knife, but half of his life, the meaning behind his twelve years of survival.
"Huan Xun." She called softly, then, disregarding everything else, lifted her skirt and walked towards him.
All she wanted to do was hold him and fill the emptiness and heartbreak in his heart with everything she had.
As she took a step, she inadvertently glanced at the dilapidated palace high above him.
A faint, cold light was quietly illuminating from behind a battlement.
Her pupils contracted to a single point.
Before the brain can even think, the body has already reacted before the will can.
She unleashed an unprecedented power and lunged at him.
As she crashed into his arms, he heard a dull, grating sound as if flesh was being torn apart.
Huan Xun lowered his head in astonishment.
The sharp arrow pierced through the flesh of her chest, its tip barely touching his body.
Yu Nie shuddered and staggered.
He instinctively pulled his arms around her, his palms touching something warm and sticky.
She seemed to have all her strength drained away, and leaned lightly against him.
She tilted her head back, trying to give him a reassuring smile, but as soon as she moved her lips, a trickle of bright red blood uncontrollably spilled from the corner of her mouth.
High in the palace, Han Jie's fingers were still frozen on the bowstring.
When Yu Nie rushed over recklessly, his face was filled with horror.
Originally ordered to ambush Huan Xun, he clearly did not expect to make such a grave mistake.
He was struck dumb, frozen in place.
Fan Tian and the others below looked up in the direction the arrow had come from and instantly locked onto Han Jie.
"Guards—!" Fan Tian roared, "Protect the Emperor! Seize the traitor!"
At this command, a portion of the Beiya Army marched in an orderly fashion toward where Han Jie was located.
"Seal all palace gates! No one is allowed to enter or leave!" Guan Zheng shouted the order while drawing his sword. He moved with lightning speed, personally leading a team of elite soldiers straight to where Han Jie was.
The other generals quickly tightened their formation, forming an impenetrable human wall around Huan Xun.
Swords and blades were drawn, their cold light gleaming. Everyone faced outwards, wary of a possible second attack from any angle.
Cuiwei's face turned deathly pale. As a maid, she instinctively wanted to rush over to check on Yu Nie's injuries, but she was blocked by the chaotic crowd.
Dugu Loujun immediately returned to his horse to retrieve his medicine chest, which he used for traveling the martial world.
Xie Cheng snatched the powerful bow from the soldier beside him, his hateful gaze fixed on Han Jie on the high place, and ran over.
Xiao Chengyan, who was injured, trembled and his eyes were blank.
He wanted to rush over, to snatch her from Huan Xun's arms, to check if she was still breathing... but reason, or rather, a deeper despair, held him rooted to the spot, his lips moving silently as he called out Yu Nie's name.
Huan Xun seemed oblivious to the chaos around him.
He embraced her soft body and knelt down with her.
All the struggles, pain, and tears just now transformed into overwhelming regret and a mad urge to destroy everything. All his senses were focused on the rapidly expanding warmth and wetness in his palm, and the increasingly faint breathing of the person in his arms.
“…Huan…Xun.” She seemed to want to call out to him one last time, but only a breath escaped her lips. Blood soaked through her clothes.
Her world lost all sound and color, leaving only his terrified eyes.
He wanted to press on her wound, but the presence of the arrow prevented him from doing so.
He cried, like a helpless child.
At that moment, he realized that he wasn't as good as he thought.
"Now, your life... is mine... You have to live for me, live for me..." She reached out and stroked his cheek, her voice barely audible.
He grabbed her cold hand and pressed it tightly against his cheek: "No, no, I can't live without you... How can I live?"
Yu Nie gently stroked his face with her fingertips, as if to remember this last touch.
"I don't think I've ever formally told you this." Her voice was weak, with a strange gentleness: "I actually like you a lot, maybe it started from Huaiyuan, or maybe it started from Jian'an... I'm not sure."
"That day in the carriage, you kissed my cheek." The corners of her lips lifted slightly, as if she remembered that moment. "At that time, I thought, this person is so handsome, and his lips are so soft."
"I don't want to leave you."
He held her hand tightly: "I...I know, don't say anything yet, Senior Dugu will be here soon." His voice was choked with emotion, and he could barely speak a complete sentence.
If at this moment heaven were willing for him to exchange his life for her life, he would immediately agree.
He, who had never believed in gods or Buddhas, so desperately wished that ghosts and gods truly existed in this world.
She wiped away his tears, caught her breath for a moment, and continued, "So you...you have to live on, and go see...the wishing tree that we...we didn't get to see yet, okay?"
She coughed violently, and more blood gushed from the corner of her lips.
"No! I won't allow it!" he roared, pulling her even tighter into his arms. "Look at me, Qiqi, I won't let you die! Do you hear me! We have to go see that wishing tree together for it to have any meaning."
Her breathing grew weaker and weaker, her gaze began to lose focus, yet she still clung to the direction of his voice.
"You, promise me, promise me..." This was her last request.
Watching the last glimmer of light in her eyes slowly fade, Huan Xun felt as if his heart was being torn apart.
Overwhelmed by grief, he finally succumbed, his scalding tears falling onto her pale face.
"I...I promise you..."
"I promise you, Qiqi... I'll live for you, I'll watch over you..."
A sense of relief appeared on her face the moment she received his promise.
The hand that had been stroking his cheek finally lost all its strength and slipped away abruptly.
"lush!"
"Qiqi, wake up and look at me!"
He held her tighter, as if that could stop everything, his voice filled with unprecedented panic as he gently patted her cheek: "Don't sleep, don't leave me."
The person in his arms did not respond; there was only silence.
Those once bright and lively eyes are now quietly closed.
"Open your eyes and look at me..." he pleaded. "Didn't we agree that we'd get married after we took the capital? You can't go back on your word."
"I haven't told you yet how much I love you. Since I came back from Huaiyuan, you've appeared in my dreams every single moment. No other woman has ever appeared in my dreams like you." He lowered his head, his forehead pressed against her cold forehead, and hot tears kept sliding down, mixing with the blood on her face.
He spoke incoherently, pouring out all the words buried deep in his heart, words he had thought he would have plenty of time for in the future, at this moment of parting: "I should have told you these things sooner, please wake up."
But all that answered him was deathly silence.
Seeing this scene, Cuiwei's legs went weak, and she collapsed to her knees with a thud, crying out in grief, "Princess..."
No matter how much Huan Xun called out or how much he wept, the person in his arms did not respond to him.
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