Chapter 68: To be remembered. All she wanted was to live freely with her family and friends…
It was cool all day yesterday, and this morning, Yu Nie Ren was still dreaming, unable to sleep because of the early heat.
Before dawn, he was so hot that he got up from his bed.
While the palace maids were doing her hair and makeup, Cuiwei sent two guards to bring in an ice chest, which finally lowered the temperature in the bedchamber considerably.
After washing up and changing into casual clothes, Yu Nie sat at the long table in the study, holding a calligraphy brush in her hand. She bit the brush handle with her teeth as she looked at her own writing, finding it increasingly unbearable to look at.
Sitting in front of her was Chen Qing, the matriarch of the Chen family.
Even before the man arrived, she had already heard many stories about Chen Qing from Song Ai. It was said that this man not only possessed exquisite calligraphy skills, but was also proficient in composing poetry and music. In addition, he was of noble character and outstanding virtue, which earned him the appreciation and high regard of the Empress Dowager and the Grand Empress Dowager.
For this reason, Chen Qing was specially appointed as the female tutor of the princesses and noblewomen in the palace, and was specially taught the essential meaning of classical texts, the essence of Buddhism and Taoism, and the art of calligraphy.
This "female teacher" was not an official title, but a respectful title bestowed by the Empress Dowager because she was well-versed in classics and history and had a refined, scholarly demeanor. The Empress Dowager also strictly required all those she taught to treat her with the respect due to a disciple.
Today, Chen Qingxian taught her calligraphy.
The people of Beiye used Small Seal script in their daily lives, and only used Large Seal script for special documents, objects, or sacrificial occasions.
Having long been familiar with the writing logic of simplified Chinese characters, despite sixteen years of study, when faced with these ancient characters resembling those of our ancestors, the characters she wrote could barely be considered neat and legible, but there was absolutely no aesthetic appeal in her brushwork.
The handwriting is barely legible, not beautiful at all; it's crooked and looks like a snake crawling across it.
Chen Qing taught her to copy the last two lines of "Fifteen Years Old, I Go to the Army" from the "Collection of Yuefu Poems" for half a day: "I went out and looked eastward, tears fell and soaked my clothes."
She still barely passed in the end, and the more she wrote, the less confident she became. This lack of confidence stemmed not only from embarrassment at her own lapse in concentration, but also from guilt over Chen Qing's meticulous guidance.
Before coming to the study, she had sent Cuiwei out to buy all the fruit available at the market for herself, and at the same time sent a letter to Zijing, telling him all about her plan so that he would not need to think of any more solutions.
While studying, she kept thinking about the letter and the fruit, and her focus on practicing calligraphy was more than halved.
Seeing that she was frowning, Chen Qing picked up a brush and wrote something on a blank sheet of paper for her to see.
Although Chen Qing is over sixty years old, with his temples already as white as frost, his spirit and energy remain vigorous and full, showing no signs of old age. His calligraphy is powerful and vigorous, sharp and forceful, and graceful like a swimming dragon.
Looking at the two lines of words on the Chengxintang paper, Yu Nie exclaimed in admiration: "Teacher Chen is truly a master of calligraphy. Even if I practiced for thousands of years, I would probably still be unable to catch up with her or reach her level."
Chen Qing's expression was as serene as autumn water, and his tone of voice was extremely pleasant to listen to: "Your Highness is too kind."
She said, "Your Highness has simply been living in the temple for many years and has had no time to study. If you had had the opportunity back then, your writing skills might have surpassed mine."
After saying that, she took the writing and examined it closely: "Your Highness always pauses at the character 'fall' when writing. Is it because you have something on your mind?"
Yu Nie denied it.
Upon seeing her answer, Chen Qing paused briefly and asked, "Does Your Highness know why I taught you to write these two lines of poetry?"
This poem was completely unfamiliar to Yu Nie. She wasn't particularly good at liberal arts, and the only poets and verses she could recall were the works of a few masters like Li Bai, Du Fu, and Li He.
For example, "The grass on the plain grows lush and green, withering and flourishing year after year."
I want to chat with someone, but my mind is completely blank, and I don't know where to begin.
For a moment, she even felt that she had let Zhao Huayan down.
Princess Shunhe today would certainly appear to people as an ignorant bookworm.
Yu Nie shook her head. She had originally wanted to say something about "a sorrowful scene highlighting a sorrowful mood," but seeing Chen Qingxiang's serious expression, she gave up the idea.
He offered his limited understanding: "I feel that these two lines of poetry are full of sorrow..."
She murmured the title of the poem: "Fifteen-Year-Old Joins the Army." This poem is about the protagonist's early enlistment in the army. Could it be that the female teacher wanted her disciple to know that war brings endless suffering?
"Fifteen years old for the army, eighty years old for the home," this poem essentially speaks of the irreparable suffering that the absurd and unjust conscription system inflicts on ordinary people. It effortlessly crushes an ordinary person's life and utterly destroys the future of a family.
Chen Qing smiled slightly and said slowly, "He fought for the country for sixty-five years, yet he could not return home, and when he finally returned, he had nowhere to go. This is the sorrow of an individual, and also a calamity for the country. Therefore, we must do our best to prevent war from breaking out again."
Her aged but not withered hands stroked the thick paper:
“When I was young, my father explained this poem to me. He said that in the past, there were years of war and people were displaced. Although this poem speaks of the sorrow of one person, it actually reflects the plight of all people in the world.”
Throughout history, the suffering brought by war has always been the same; the fate of one person is also the fate of millions. Yu Nie thought this to herself, but did not say it aloud.
"A great Confucian scholar of the previous dynasty once said that weapons are instruments of misfortune, and sages use them only as a last resort. If one can avert calamity for the people by showing temporary forbearance, that would be a great act of kindness."
She gazed at her calmly: "The princess is about the same age as my granddaughter. You can imagine the hardships she must have endured, leaving her homeland and saying goodbye to her family and friends."
"Your Highness dares not say that your actions are profoundly righteous, but Your Highness's actions have ultimately prevented the tragedy described in the poem from happening to some extent. Saving a life is better than building a seven-story pagoda, and this is already a meritorious deed that benefits all living beings."
Chen Qing spoke kindly and slowly: "Even if you are not in control of your own destiny, you can still achieve something. The world will remember Your Highness."
Without this marriage alliance, the Northern Ye and the Jie tribes would not have reached an agreement, and a battle would definitely have broken out.
In such an era, most people are nothing more than drifting duckweed, eventually turning into an insignificant speck of dust in the long river of history.
Even a princess like Zhao Huayan, despite her noble status, could not escape the predicament of being manipulated by fate.
To be remembered by the world in such circumstances is already a great fortune.
In this light, this is also a stroke of good fortune for the princess who, like everyone else, was burdened with the fate of being sent to a foreign land for political marriage.
Yu Nie instantly understood the meaning behind her words.
She never imagined that the reason her teacher taught her to write those two lines of poetry was to comfort herself.
It was their first meeting, and she was surprised that Chen Qing would say these things to her. Although she felt it was abrupt, a warm feeling welled up in her heart.
Looking at Chen Qingci's face, she suddenly thought of her deceased grandmother. If her grandmother were still alive, she wouldn't be facing this situation.
Chen Qing's words, from a practical point of view, are not without reason.
In the eyes of the world, to be remembered is truly a good ending. After all, so many people strive with all their might to be remembered for generations and to be remembered in history.
But that was never what she wanted.
All she wanted was to live freely with her family and friends.
Chaos is imminent, and widespread suffering is inevitable.
All she can do right now is prevent a brief period of war from breaking out; she can't do anything more.
She didn't want to see people displaced, but the wheels of history were beyond the control of an ordinary person like her.
After a moment, she raised her eyes and said, "I understand what the female teacher meant... but..."
She wanted to tell Chen Qing that the tragic scene described in the poem would be repeated in the near future.
But the words she was about to say were swallowed back down.
In the end, it all boiled down to one sentence: "I will remember the teachings of my female teacher."
She wouldn't forget her kindness. It was especially precious that someone would go out of their way to comfort her, especially someone she had just met.
But she would never proceed with the arranged marriage. There was no turning back now.
As soon as she finished speaking, Song Ai came in from outside, bowed, and reported:
"The female scribe of the Imperial Clothing Bureau and the director of the Imperial Workshop are already waiting in the hall for Your Highness to come."
After sitting for half the morning, Yu Nie already had a sore back and aching waist.
After sitting for half the morning, Yu Nie's back and waist were already aching.
She rose, supporting herself on the armrest, and bowed respectfully to Chen Qing: "This disciple will take her leave now, and will seek further instruction from my master tomorrow."
Chen Qingyi rose to return the greeting and said gently, "Princess, please take care."
Before leaving, Yu Nie instructed Song Ai to prepare some refreshing food for Chen Qing and to treat him well. Then she went to the bedroom.
After she led her entourage of servants and maids away, Song Ai watched her departing figure, then turned and walked to Chen Qing's side, asking in a low voice, "I wonder how the princess reacted to what the female teacher said?"
Chen Qing replied, "The princess's worries have mostly been resolved. She is still young, and it is only natural that she would be anxious about going alone to that distant border region. I have already comforted her and told her the significance of this marriage alliance."
Since hearing last night that Yu Nie wanted to cancel the marriage alliance, Song Ai hadn't slept a wink all night.
After thinking it over, she felt that her words were by no means a joke.
Therefore, when Chen Qing came to give a lecture today, she specifically told Chen Qing that the princess was worried about being married off to a distant land and had been having trouble sleeping every night lately, feeling depressed and unhappy. She asked Chen Qing to give her some guidance.
Song Ai didn't just randomly choose someone to talk to Chen Qing about this.
In her early years, Song Ai had served under Consort Cui, Chen Qing's adopted daughter, and knew Chen Qing well, recognizing her kind heart. Sure enough, Chen Qing readily agreed without hesitation.
Hearing Chen Qing's words, Song Ai felt a little more at ease and quickly bowed, saying, "Thank you for your trouble, Master."
Chen Qing replied, "You are too kind. As the saying goes, 'A teacher for a day is a father for life.' The princess and I are now master and disciple. It is only natural for a master to guide his disciple."
Song Ai thanked her again and sent someone to bring her food.
Since Chen Qing had other matters to attend to, the two chatted briefly before Chen Qing left Hongzheng Pavilion by carriage.
Song Ai saw her off at the door and was about to turn back to the mansion when she saw Cuiwei leading a carriage back in the distance.
She stopped in her tracks.
*
Trying on clothes and jewelry is exhausting work.
When Yu Nie put on the pheasant-patterned robe, she felt for the first time that she was about to be crushed by the garment. The jade belt around her waist was so tight that she had to be careful even when she was breathing.
It took nearly an hour just to adjust the height of the collar and straighten the length of the skirt.
By the time she put on the crimson gold deer crown and the forbidden-step jeweled flower, she was already sore from exhaustion, but she still had to maintain a dignified and elegant posture, without being able to relax for a moment.
By the time the officials from the Bureau of Clothing and the Bureau of Works had finished packing and left with their entourage, the sun outside the window had long since sunk below the western mountains.
Time was running out, and Yu Nie was burning with anxiety, only wanting to find out the details of that female itinerant doctor as soon as possible.
After much thought, she finally found a suitable excuse, saying that she had lost her personal jade pendant and that it had probably fallen into the temple yesterday, so she was going to look for it immediately.
Upon hearing that it was a keepsake left by her mother, Song Ai did not stop her and immediately ordered four guards to accompany her.
She had originally intended to accompany him personally, but since the emperor was arriving the next day and she needed to oversee the arrangements, she had no choice but to give up.
In the end, only Cuiwei and a few guards, carrying lanterns, accompanied her in a carriage towards the temple.
The axle creaked and rattled as the vehicle swayed and rocked along.
Sitting in the carriage, Yu Nie thought to herself that if she couldn't get any clues about the female itinerant doctor, she would have to pray for the best.
Dulong couldn't get the answer, and she figured her chances were slim too.
Fortunately, she doesn't only have one card to play.
The closer the carriage got to the temple, the quieter it became.
Previously, a few scattered shouts from the streets could be heard, but now only the monotonous sound of wheels rolling over the road makes the high walls and tiled houses on both sides seem even more silent.
She frowned in thought, completely unaware of the several dark figures flashing across the rooftops outside the window.
Those shadowy figures, hidden in the night, moved silently along the carriage's path, always trailing behind at a distance.
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The author says: "I went out and looked eastward, tears falling and wetting my clothes." (From "Fifteen-Year-Old Soldier's March")
The term “female teacher” comes from the Family Precepts section of the Complete Library of the Four Treasuries, which contains the sentence “Those who teach are female teachers.”
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