Chapter 36
"Her sick mother can't get out."
"Her money will all be ours from now on, what's the rush?"
“My mother said that all these things should be done by you. You are just a slave raised by our family.”
“I’ll have my mom kick you out and make you sleep on the street.”
The camera pans across their faces, zooming in on their childhood, before she left Hecang Garden. Her mother was not yet ill, and under the shade of the banyan trees, Guan Nan was the darling of everyone's little princess.
Her good fortune didn't last long; she was met with all sorts of malice and pitying glances from the adults.
"Mental illness."
"Her mother is mentally ill, and she is a minor mentally ill child."
"We don't associate with people who are mentally ill."
"My mom said you're not a princess!"
When the wall is pushed down, everyone falls; only at this moment does it take on a tangible form, enduring everyone's harsh words.
Unconsciously, we were almost completely overwhelmed by boundless, overwhelming malice.
Children speak without restraint, yet they can clearly distinguish between good and evil.
But the more it's like this, the more hurtful it becomes.
Guan Nan stood in the very center.
Feeling lost, helpless, and anxious.
While she was trembling and at a loss, someone suddenly woke her up and called her name: "Guan Nan".
In a daze, the tall figure walked over, took her hand, and led her out from among a crowd of people of all sizes.
He patted her head and whispered, "Don't be afraid."
Don't be afraid, I'm here for you.
Young Guan Nan and her partner seemed to have a tacit understanding of each other's unspoken message.
In the hazy light, Guan Nan tried to tilt her head back, but she still couldn't make out his features.
Upon waking, perhaps it was what she heard last night, perhaps it was the jumble of dreams, or perhaps it was the long-term repression that made her secretly make a decision in her heart.
No need to weigh the options, no hesitation, just unwavering commitment.
At the dinner table.
Rarely, Guan Nan returned home before dinner was served; the family of three seemed to be waiting for her.
There were no leftovers, and the food on the table was still warm.
"Nannan, come, sit next to your dad." Zhang Guilian, unusually, put her arm around Nannan's shoulder and led her to the chair next to Guan Weimin. "Auntie got off work early today and made you your favorite cola chicken wings."
Lin Zhaozhao is the person who likes to eat cola chicken wings.
It wasn't her.
Guan Nan looked up and saw Lin Zhaozhao sitting opposite her with an awkward expression. As soon as their eyes met, she immediately frowned and stared at the chicken wings.
"Your aunt made this especially for you, and you didn't even say thank you?!" Guan Weimin shouted, his expression grim.
The father and daughter sat on opposite sides of the wall, their voices deafeningly loud.
Guan Nan forced a smile, lowered her head, and said, "Thank you, Auntie."
"Oh, it's alright," Zhang Guilian waved her hand, smiling warmly. "We're all family, don't worry about it. Come and eat."
In the blink of an eye, the chicken wing clip landed thousands of miles away from her.
Guan Nan remained as docile as ever, and thanked her again: "Thank you, Auntie."
"Come on, eat, eat, eat." Zhang Guilian waved her hand, and at her signal, Guan Weimin and Lin Zhaozhao began to pick up their chopsticks. The atmosphere at the table was very quiet.
The meal was eaten in silence; no one spoke.
For some reason, Guan Nan felt a sense of oppression; the silence was because of her.
On ordinary days, their dinner table is lively and cheerful.
Amid the shoving, Lin Zhaozhao poked at her rice with her chopsticks, and without looking up, whispered, "Mom, it seems like the air conditioner in my room needs to be replaced."
"Sigh." Zhang Guilian sighed, "There have been so many banquets and parties these past two months. Your uncle and I have spent all our meager salaries on these gifts. Where would we get the money to buy you a new air conditioner?"
Upon hearing this, Guan Nan ate her meal quietly, realizing that this was a trap.
Guan Weimin said from the side, "There's not much money left this month. Has your student grant come through? Give the money to Auntie first, and she can help Zhaozhao get a new air conditioner. Auntie will give you the money back then."
"Auntie, when will you pay me back?" Guan Nan's tone was very calm, still the same soft persimmon who had no temper and could be easily manipulated, but the words that came out of her mouth were no longer the same.
The atmosphere quieted down.
Perhaps because they had been too generous with their money in the past, no one expected her to say such a thing.
“What do you mean by ‘repay’?” Guan Weimin said lightly. “Why do you have to be so calculating about every penny a family has to spend? Why are you so calculating, kid?”
Everyone says that Guan Weimin is refined and polite, and knows how to proceed with caution.
He has high IQ and high EQ, and his path in life is smooth and successful. Everyone compliments and admires him.
In her early years, Guan Nan also thought so, believing that Guan Weimin loved his mother and that Guan Weimin loved her. She even childishly and ridiculously deceived herself into believing that their happiness was unique, beautiful, and incomparable to anyone else.
I thought they would live out their happy lives like this.
Although she realized at that time that Guan Weimin loved her, this love was separated by a thin film and there was a distance between them.
On top of all this, they endured and ignored the repeated insults, humiliations, and beatings. Whenever this happened, Guan Weimin was always busy or had something to do and went out, thus avoiding the filth of those "unlucky" and "jinxed" people.
Whenever Guan Weimin returned home, it seemed as if he could never see their injuries, the damage and ruins in the house, or his mother mending the broken doors.
She comforted herself, saying that Guan Weimin was too busy with work and had neglected these things.
Before she was old enough to understand, her mother had been pregnant several times. During her second pregnancy, somehow the fetus was found to be female, so her grandmother decided to terminate the pregnancy. After that, her mother became pregnant again.
It was this pregnancy that caused Grandma to completely lose her temper in front of Guan Weimin, pulling his hair and slapping him.
Grandma cursed loudly, saying that Mom was destined to have no children and that she resented Mom for dragging Guan Weimin down for life, and that she would not be able to face their ancestors in the future.
Guan Nan, with her frail body, stood in front of her mother to shield her, but was kicked away.
That kick landed squarely in his stomach.
At that time, Guan Weimin stood aside with a cold face, just watching without saying a word or doing anything.
She had an abortion, did not rest or stay in the hospital, and left the hospital on the same day.
When he had an extramarital affair, his mother's illness flared up and worsened. Guan Nan hid through the crack in the door and saw the slap that landed on his mother's face, followed by the impatient words, "Have you made enough trouble? You can't even give birth to a son yourself, what else do you want?"
At that moment, the refined Guan Weimin suddenly changed his expression, becoming a cold and terrifying figure with a blue face and fangs.
After that, my mother became pregnant twice more, but both pregnancies turned out to be recurrent miscarriages when she went to the hospital for checkups.
It was around that time that Ran Mingju's emotions and mental state began to become unpredictable. She would cry and laugh at the same time, saying things that Ran Mingju couldn't understand, wiping away her tears while hugging her.
Until she was ten years old, before a competition, her mother kissed her forehead and said "I'm sorry" and "I love you".
The door opened, and Guan Nan, accompanied by them, went backstage.
A moment later, the sound of arguing came from the corridor.
At that moment, Guan Nan clearly heard the word "divorce," and only the word "divorce" remained in her mind.
She didn't understand it then, but she always felt it wasn't a good word.
Because Mom cried again.
......
Perhaps it had been too long since she had heard him speak in such a tone, Guan Nan remained silent for a while before coming back to her senses and saying, "The scholarship hasn't been issued yet."
"Never mind that money not coming through yet. You still have tens of thousands of yuan in your account. Give it to your aunt to use first."
Guan Nan wanted to laugh when she heard this; it was ridiculous.
She looked at them, her gaze unwavering and her expression unchanged, and for the first time refused his request: "No."
"You think I can't get you to do anything?" Guan Weimin threw down his chopsticks, glared at her, and tried to put pressure on her. "I asked you to give me some money, and you're being picky. If I don't give it to you, then get the hell out of here!"
Guan Nan's voice choked with emotion, her attitude unwavering: "No."
Whether now or in the future, she will never, ever again, give them a single penny.
Just like Jiang Li said, don't spend money on anyone casually.
Her money never came from thin air.
She wants to save money until her mother comes out.
"I've fed you, housed you, and fed you, and you still dare to talk back to me! I've raised you all these years, and if you don't give your money to me, who do you want to give it to!" Guan Weimin's temper flared up easily when he was dealing with Guan Nan and Ran Mingju, and right now his voice was at its loudest.
"Even if I raised a dog, it would be better than you. At least when I wave to it, it will wag its tail."
"I'm ashamed to even tell anyone that I have a daughter like you!"
"For so many years, I've wondered if I really am your daughter," Guan Nan said with a bitter smile, her lips pressed tightly together, holding back the tears welling up in her eyes. "Unfortunately, I am."
She wasn't without her doubts; in fact, it was only after verifying them that she felt even more desperate.
Upon hearing this, Guan Weimin became so angry that he grabbed a bowl from the table and was about to smash it over her head. She simply closed her eyes, showing no fear or yielding.
Seeing this, Zhang Guilian quickly stepped in to smooth things over, patting Guan Weimin on the back, "Guan Nan, look at all these years, your father has had a tough time too. Listen to him and don't upset him."
Guan Nan suddenly laughed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, her words dripping with tears: "Does he even resemble a father? He cheated on you during our marriage, was always out gallivanting, and my mother did all the housework. Even this house you have now was bought with my mother's money. Whether I was a child or an adult, whenever it involved me—whether I had a fever, a cold, or a parent-teacher conference—he would run far away. He felt that without a son, he couldn't continue the Guan family line, and that having such a daughter was a disgrace to Guan Weimin. What right does he have to be a husband? How can he be worthy of being called a father?"
Snap—
The bowl smashed on the ground, a slap landed on his face, and his eyes widened in fury.
“I know you hate me.” Guan Nan turned her face to one side, her left ear ringing so badly she could barely hear. She smiled through her tears, still insisting on saying, “Because I’m not your son, I didn’t bring you any honor, so Grandma scolded Mom, hit Mom, hit me, and you saw and heard it but it was like you didn’t see or hear it. You felt it was bad luck and thought we deserved it.”
She remained calm, so calm that she seemed too lazy to even breathe.
After all, she had heard far too many words like that, and even harsher ones.
In their eyes, no matter how good the grades are, a person is still a worthless piece of trash. Under repeated verbal abuse and belittling, they have no self-respect and are not even as good as a dog.
This is the price she paid for surviving in this family.
But today is different; she doesn't want it anymore.
She no longer had any hope for the remaining traces of fatherly love in her memory, nor for the father who was so close yet already rotten to the core. She no longer wanted to be trapped by those few remaining tender feelings.
She doesn't want it anymore, she doesn't want anything anymore.
"Guan Nan!" Zhang Guilian grabbed the trembling hand, "How could you say such a thing about your father!"
"If I don't give it to you, get the hell out of here! I don't have a daughter like you, as selfish and self-serving as your mother." Guan Weimin wanted to hit her again, but stopped when he met those dark, emotionless eyes.
Guan Nan's tone became increasingly polite: "You can talk about me, but please don't talk about my mother."
“From now on, none of you will be able to take a single penny from me.”
"Just pretend you don't have a daughter like me."
I have never been a father to you before.
After the slap, all ties were severed.
Zhang Guilian never expected that she would say and do things so ruthlessly.
They left themselves no room for maneuver.
She looks just like her mother.
"Thank you, Auntie. Goodbye." Guan Nan turned and went back to the balcony, slung her backpack over her shoulder, and packed her clothes in her old travel bag.
In fact, she had very few belongings: a quilt that Lin Zhaozhao didn't want, a folding bed piled with clutter on the balcony, and a lamp that had been repaired and repaired many times.
None of these belong to her.
She only had winter and summer school uniforms, two sweaters, a cotton-padded jacket, and a few pieces of clothing.
After packing my things, I went straight out the door, making sure to close it behind me.
She came alone and left alone.
There was nothing left, nothing was left behind.
After leaving No. 7 Middle School, I went down the steep slope and sat on the bus.
Guan Nan sat in the car, where only the driver and she were present. Her gaze drifted out the window.
Suddenly, she felt that the surroundings had become very quiet, so quiet that it was as if she were the only person in the whole world.
She absentmindedly pulled out her phone and, as if possessed, sent: 【Jiang Li.】
jiang: [?]
Seeing that she hadn't replied to his messages, Jiang Li called her directly.
When she answered the phone, her nerves were still on edge, listening to the voices on the other end saying, "Hello, Guan Nan, can you hear me?"
Guan Nan paused for two seconds, her voice still trembling slightly: "Jiang Li."
"What's wrong?" Jiang Li asked.
Guan Nan: "You can—"
Can you talk to me for a while?
The words caught in her throat. After hesitating for a moment, she changed her mind and said, "Could you buy me an ice cream cone?"
Clearly sensing that she was in a bad mood, Jiang Li didn't hesitate for a moment and immediately agreed, then asked, "Where are you right now?"
“Yes,” Guan Nan glanced at the bag on her lap, “He Cang Yuan.”
Jiang Li said, "Wait for me."
"Hey—" Sister Wenwen saw him answer a phone call, grabbed Jiang Siyao's electric scooter key and walked out, saying as she went, "Mom, I'm going out for a while, I'll call you if I don't come back."
Sister Wenwen followed him out and saw him insert the key, about to drive the car out of the yard: "Where are you going? It's so late."
"Something came up," he said, remembering something. He went back to the kitchen, packed a box of things, and ran out. "Mom, I'm leaving now."
The city's nightlife is just beginning. The neon lights on Zhongshan Third Road and the lights of thousands of homes reflect each other, and the incandescent and warm yellow light shines through the glass windows onto the ground.
Jiang Li rode his electric scooter from one end of Zhongshan Third Road to the other, weaving through a multitude of vehicles.
He turned into Hecang Street and did not linger, nor did the security guard stop him.
The night was dark, and there was no one in sight.
He didn't approach the grocery store rashly, but parked his car on the side and waited under the clock tower.
When she received the call, Guan Nan had just lifted the dust-covering cloth and sat silently on the sofa.
Guan Nan thought that she had completely broken away from Tangzi Lane and those people.
Having finally escaped that oppressive "home," having finally lost his blood relatives and remained indifferent, Guan Weimin has finally become a person once again.
She felt neither sad nor happy; instead, she was unusually calm.
It seems that everything should have been this way, and it should have been this way long ago.
A moment later.
The person I thought was naive, the one who wouldn't come, said on the phone, "I've arrived."
Guan Nan opened her mouth, her reaction slow and somewhat dazed: "Where?"
"Under the clock tower."
Clock tower?
“…Okay.” Guan Nan reacted slowly, replying softly, and was about to hang up when she finished speaking.
Then I heard him say, "Don't hang up."
"......"
Without hanging up the phone, Guan Nan got up and walked out, hurrying down the stairs. She almost twisted her ankle and tumbled down the stairs, then slowed down a little.
Passing by pomegranate trees with withered and cracked fruit, brushing past banyan trees with their magnificent yellow leaves falling in winter, I headed straight for the clock tower standing at the intersection of Renmin Branch Road.
The distance grew closer, and the footsteps became lighter.
I looked up and saw Jiang Li.
Perhaps he was riding too fast, his hair was all messy and dancing, and he was wearing an extremely incongruous cute helmet in his hand, while he was carrying an exquisite package bag in his hand at his side.
His figure was radiant, bathed in starlight.
"Jiang Li," Guan Nan called his name.
Jiang Li looked up, raised an eyebrow at her, and handed her the package without asking any questions: "Try it, freshly baked egg tarts and croissants."
The two sat on a bench next to the clock tower.
Guan Nan opened the box, looked at the exquisitely presented desserts inside, and blinked hard.
"We're out of ice cream cones." Jiang Li pulled out a tissue and pressed it against the top half of the bag before handing it to her. Then he took a bottle of strawberry yogurt out of his pocket and gently touched it to her swollen left cheek. "Have some yogurt."
Seemingly having finally found an excuse to vent, she lowered her head, acting as if she were being unreasonable:
"But what I want to eat is an ice cream cone."
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